“Who Will Wipe My Butt?”: This Was the Worst Passenger of the Year in 2019

As 2019 draws to a close, FlyerTalk looks back on the most charming passengers of the year. While there was a bumper crop of unpleasant individuals to choose from, only one flyer can take home the title of Worst Passenger of the Year.

 

Lifetime Achievement Award: The Serial Stowaway

Future Hall of Fame Worst Passenger Marilyn Hartman made a short-lived comeback this October when she was arrested at Chicago O’Hare International Airport (ORD) while allegedly attempting to go through security without a valid boarding pass or identification.

Before that incident, Hartman made headlines by flying at least eight commercial flights without ever buying a ticket. Hartman’s rein of mischief has spanned nearly a decade. There’s even a FlyerTalk page dedicated to her shenanigans that dates back to 2014.

The 67-year-old serial stowaway has been held without bail ever since her latest run-in with authorities.

 

The Disqualified Imposters: “He Was Definitely Not 80 Years Old”

Air travelers at Indira Gandhi International Airport (DEL) might notice airline workers and security officials giving their identification and travel documents a double-take. That’s because the airport has suffered a near-epidemic of passengers arriving in elaborate disguises.

First, there was the case of 32-year-old Jayesh Patel who disguised himself as an 80-year-old man to leave the country once his immigration application was denied. Unfortunately, his fake travel documents and ID didn’t do enough to fool security.

“He was definitely not 80-years-old,” Central Industrial Security Force (CISF) officials told reporters following Patel’s inevitable arrest. “His skin was of a younger person. The appearance and skin texture of the passenger seemed to be much younger than mentioned in the passport.”

More recently, at the same airport, a man dressed as a Lufthansa pilot (complete with a fake Lufthansa employee ID) in an attempt to board an Air Asia flight for free. Unfortunately for him, his disguise didn’t fool airport employees and he was handed over to airport police before he had a chance to board.

 

 

I Forgot My Baby!: The Best of the Rest

Every year, there are plenty of astonishingly rotten passengers who don’t make the cut for Worst Passenger of the Year. Notable performances include the woman who inadvertently left her baby behind at the gate and the couple who put on an x-rated show for a cabin full of Rossiya Airlines passengers.

In the smugglers’ corner, there’s the Colombian man who tried to sneak drugs into Spain by concealing the contraband under a hilariously oversized toupee and the woman busted with 780 grams of liquid cocaine surgically implanted “between the flesh and the muscle” of her thighs.

In more bizarre news, there was the Delta passenger dragged from the plane screaming, “I am God, Tomorrow San Juan is going to disappear” and the serial lavatory voyeur who was caught when his face was captured by a camera he planted in the bathroom of an American Airlines plane.

 

3rd Place: “We Are Still Investigating Where He Got the Baby Orangutan”

A Russian national got a dose of insta karma when he was caught with a drugged baby orangutan and the police at Bali Ngurah Rai International Airport (DPS) put him on display like a zoo animal.

At a press conference/perp walk, Denpasar Police Chief Ruddi Setiawan brought the adorable two-year-old orangutan to show everyone that he was recovering nicely. He also brought along the orange-jumpsuit-clad, handcuffed passenger who kidnapped him.

 

The Runner-Up: “I’m Not Sitting Next to a F—— Three-Year-Old”

A JetBlue passenger got her wish when she yelled “Make this viral! You wanna make this viral? Make it viral!” while being filmed on a flight from Fort Lauderdale to Las Vegas. In the now-viral footage, the whole world can hear Valerie Gonzalez yell “I’m not sitting next to a f—— 3-year-old,” to protest her seat assignment. Moments later, she’s dragged off the plane as she spits on a fellow passenger. The 32-year-old was eventually arrested, after allegedly attempting to re-board the plane and assaulting a JetBlue crew member who tried to intervene.

 

The Winner: ‘Someone Has to Wipe My Butt”

The unpleasantness that occurred during a Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) to Taiwan Taoyuan International Airport (TPE) flight is nothing less than an affront to human decency. An obese passenger, who had already demanded three free economy class seats because of his large size, reportedly requested assistance using the lavatory during the 14-hour-long flight.

After that, things quickly got weird. He made more and more demands of the flight attendant burdened with helping him until, finally, he demanded that she clean his private area.

“I promised to help you go to the toilet, not to wipe your butt,” the flight attendant recounted the man’s badgering in a social media post following the sordid affair. “You promised me … what can I do if no one wipes my butt? Do you want me to stay in this toilet? I told him we couldn’t help him, but he started yelling. He told me to go in there immediately and threatened to relieve himself on the floor. As the passenger’s genitals were now exposed, one of my colleagues brought a blanket, which I used to cover his modesty. But he very angrily slapped my hand away, saying he didn’t want it and only wanted me to remove his underwear so he could use the toilet.”

The flight attendant said she eventually put on latex gloves and agreed to clean the passenger’s private areas. According to another cabin crew member the man didn’t make the nasty job any easier, “He said: ‘Oh, mmm, deeper, deeper,’ and then accused my chief attendant of not properly cleaning his backside, requesting that she do it again.”