Worst Passenger of the Week: “It Just Takes the Edge Off Before I Fly.”

Every Friday, FlyerTalk looks back at the week’s most charming individuals. While there are always plenty of contenders for our Worst Passenger of the Week award, only one lucky flyer can take home the glory. Here are this week’s winners.

Honorable Mention – Way Too Early to be an April Fools Prank

According to Central Wisconsin Airport (CWA) Director of Operations Jim Olson, the brief airport evacuation caused when a grenade was discovered in a passenger’s bag ended up being a simple misunderstanding. It appears that the serious security incident was triggered by a good deed gone wrong.

According to police, a U.S. military veteran slipped an inert training grenade into a care package for his father as a sort of keepsake from the son’s time in the military. Although it was apparently intended as a nice gesture, the mock-grenade caused quite a stir at the the airport before officials realized exactly what they were dealing with.

“It did not have a pin in it. Which was kind of suspicious at the time,” Olson told reporters. “Apparently he didn’t realize that this had been put in there by his son that he was visiting. His son had put some cheese and other things for him to take home. And apparently he had put that in there as a kind of remembrance from when his son was in service.”

Federal law, of course, strictly prohibits even simulated explosive devices on passenger planes. In this case, authorities say that neither the father nor the son are expected to be charged criminally, but each could still face tens of thousands of dollars in fines.

Third Place – An Extraordinarily Long Way to Go for a Humble Brag

Much has been made of rapper G-Easy using a recent issue of a major music magazine with his likeness on the cover to identify himself at an airport security checkpoint. According to press reports, the hip-hop artist lost his wallet and had to improvise in a hurry.

“Gerald lost his ID and he’s trying to use the cover of @XXL as part of his additional identification to get through airport security,” singer/songwriter and travel companion Halsey told her followers as she live-tweeted the saga. “I’m so annoyed.” She later posted the simple update, “It worked.”

In fact, airport security, even the notoriously suspicious TSA, has long allowed passengers to use verifiable alternative identification to pass through checkpoints. In the past, passengers have used Costco membership cards and even high school yearbooks to prove their identities at the airport. Except, G-Easy (aka Gerald Earl Gillum) didn’t show his Sam’s Club membership card; instead, he for some reason casually showed everyone that he had posed for a magazine cover under an alias.

Other options for attention-seeking celebrities to identify themselves at the airport including pulling out the registration for one’s Ferrari, asking TSA to call the super model you’re dating to vouch for you or perhaps just showing pictures of the party on Richard Branson’s yacht that one time in Ibiza might accomplish the same goal.

Airport security can sometimes be sticklers for the rules. In this particular situation, however, it might have called for a “please just get on your plane and go” interpretation of the rulebook.

The Runner-up – The Last Minute Change in Itinerary

A passenger being deported by Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents had other plans during a layover at John F. Kennedy International Airport (JFK) this week. Days later, authorities are still searching for an escapee with a long history of weapons and firearm arrests.

Mohamadou Lamine Mbacke reportedly slipped away from his escorts prior to boarding a flight to Dakar Blaise Diagne International Airport (DSS). According to local media reports, the 31-year-old took advantage of agents removing his handcuffs at a security checkpoint to make a break for it. Mbacke, who had just arrived on a flight from Detroit Metropolitan Wayne County Airport (DTW), completed his escape by hailing a taxi from the airport. The ICE agents are now accused of waiting nearly an hour to alert local authorities that the “violent deportee” was on the loose.

“An individual being transported by federal immigration officials at JFK Airport last night eluded custody during transfer to a connecting flight,” The Port Authority of New York and New Jersey said in a somewhat testy statement. “Federal authorities would know if he is still at large. He was not taken into custody in the airport by the Port Authority Police Department.”

For now, the bold getaway with a seemingly low chance of success seems to have paid off for the fugitive passenger. Impressively, the detainee managed to make a quick escape in a taxi despite the fact that the average time spent waiting in line for a cab at Terminal 4 is approximately three-and-one-half lifetimes.

The Winner – It was a Pyrrhic Victory at Best

A JetBlue passenger who all-but-dared the crew to turn a plane around this week told police that he had consumed three beers before his flight because “It just takes the edge off before I fly.” Passenger Terence Joseph Gallagher allegedly began cursing at a flight attendant after being told that he would not be served any more to drink during his flight from Boston Logan International Airport (BOS) to Fort Meyers Southwest Florida International Airport (RSW). Gallagher reportedly became even angrier after the cabin crew member warned him about his use of offensive language.

“What are you going to do? Turn this plane around and go back to Boston?” the defiant passenger asked in response to admonishments about his behavior according to witness statements. Unfortunately for the disruptive passenger, returning to Boston is not the only option available when it comes to dealing with bad inflight behavior.

It turns out that Gallagher was very much correct – the captain didn’t turn the plane around and the flight landed as scheduled at RSW, but police soon arrived in the cabin to take the obstinate flyer into custody. While Gallagher did technically win his aggressive midair game of chicken with the crew of JetBlue Flight 1165, he was also arrested and charged with disorderly conduct, interfering with the operation of an aircraft, and disorderly intoxication when the flight eventually landed exactly where he said it would.

[Photo: Shutterstock]