Four (Red) Stars: Hotel Ukraine, Kiev
Oct 10, 2015, 7:22 am
#1
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Four (Red) Stars: Hotel Ukraine, Kiev
“From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs.” ~Karl Marx
I’m not sure about anyone’s abilities, but I can assure you everyone’s needs include Hotel Ukraine in downtown Kiev.
While the Russian Bear has certainly seen better days in Ukraine’s eyes, there is one holdover from Soviet days they just can’t quit: Hotel Ukraine.
Conveniently located right on the now-famous Maidan Square, Hotel Ukraine was built over seven arduous post-war years, before finally opening in 1961, with the hope that it would be a Soviet jewel, a symbol of Kiev.
Unfortunately, by the time it opened, Stalinist architecture was no longer the New Black, and people considered it an irritating eyesore amid Kiev’s otherwise stunning buildings.
Back to needs, again. As children begat at the tail end of the Cold War, my friends and I cut our teeth on the sweet taste of Capitalism, ensconced in the downy featherbed of the free market. The hammer and sickle could not be more exotic (or unattainable) in our worlds. So when we heard that Hotel Ukraine was an operational four-star luxury hotel built by the USSR, our decadent little Western hearts leapt. After all, weren’t hotel star ratings- and luxury itself- the antithesis of the Evil Empire’s ways? We had to investigate. We found a single room for just $20 USD.
The hotel entrance was imposing, but its outward austerity gave way to gilt opulence in 50 shades of red. The check-in procedure was a bit daunting, as you must give your name and information to one employee, and then pay the other in cash.
Tip: There was an ATM in the lobby, but it was not working that day. Load up at the airport.
An elevator attendant mans the first floor elevators. His job appears to be telling you which elevator door is about to open for you. More likely his real job is to keep tabs on who is coming and going. The question we should ask ourselves though, is who he keeps said tabs for.
The 50’s glamor continues upstairs, with marble walls, chandeliers, and more red carpet and gilt. The caveat of course is that most of the chandeliers are not actually lit- remember, each according to his needs. Each floor has a suspiciously occupied towel lady near the elevators, whose job seems to be handing towels out to the cleaners. She probably works with the elevator attendant.
The old-fashioned wooden door and key is almost cute, and at the very least reminded me a bit of the many hotel scenes in Alfred Hitchcock movies, but in a good way.
The room was comfortable enough, save for the lack of A/C. The bedspread was yet another red-gold motif, with bizarre angel paintings, a small refrigerator, and a television like the one your grandma had when you were a kid.
After a day of roaming, it was time for dinner. I hoped to eat at the hotel, but its menu left me less than inspired. Eating’s tough in Eastern Europe when you dislike pork, herring, mayonnaise, and dill. Fortunately, Hotel Ukraine shares Maidan Square with Планета Суши (Planet Sushi), and at this point a Philadelphia roll is as typical local cuisine as borscht.
The next morning, I wandered down to the second-floor breakfast buffet. It was rather expansive, and despite the cloud of dill hanging in the air and abundance of cured meats, I managed to put something together.
The dining area is fit for a state banquet from 1955. I half-expected Marilyn Monroe to pop out of the woodwork. Then I remembered that a national treasure of the free market would never set foot in the USSR and went back to eating.
All in all, I was pleased with Hotel Ukraine. Its location can’t be better, and what it lacks in superfluous luxury it makes up for in price and charm. Face it- are The People treated to such sunset views at your local highway Motel 6?
We just may be reevaluating our ideologies.
Where's my red pionerka scarf?
I’m not sure about anyone’s abilities, but I can assure you everyone’s needs include Hotel Ukraine in downtown Kiev.
While the Russian Bear has certainly seen better days in Ukraine’s eyes, there is one holdover from Soviet days they just can’t quit: Hotel Ukraine.
Conveniently located right on the now-famous Maidan Square, Hotel Ukraine was built over seven arduous post-war years, before finally opening in 1961, with the hope that it would be a Soviet jewel, a symbol of Kiev.
Unfortunately, by the time it opened, Stalinist architecture was no longer the New Black, and people considered it an irritating eyesore amid Kiev’s otherwise stunning buildings.
Back to needs, again. As children begat at the tail end of the Cold War, my friends and I cut our teeth on the sweet taste of Capitalism, ensconced in the downy featherbed of the free market. The hammer and sickle could not be more exotic (or unattainable) in our worlds. So when we heard that Hotel Ukraine was an operational four-star luxury hotel built by the USSR, our decadent little Western hearts leapt. After all, weren’t hotel star ratings- and luxury itself- the antithesis of the Evil Empire’s ways? We had to investigate. We found a single room for just $20 USD.
The hotel entrance was imposing, but its outward austerity gave way to gilt opulence in 50 shades of red. The check-in procedure was a bit daunting, as you must give your name and information to one employee, and then pay the other in cash.
Tip: There was an ATM in the lobby, but it was not working that day. Load up at the airport.
An elevator attendant mans the first floor elevators. His job appears to be telling you which elevator door is about to open for you. More likely his real job is to keep tabs on who is coming and going. The question we should ask ourselves though, is who he keeps said tabs for.
The 50’s glamor continues upstairs, with marble walls, chandeliers, and more red carpet and gilt. The caveat of course is that most of the chandeliers are not actually lit- remember, each according to his needs. Each floor has a suspiciously occupied towel lady near the elevators, whose job seems to be handing towels out to the cleaners. She probably works with the elevator attendant.
The old-fashioned wooden door and key is almost cute, and at the very least reminded me a bit of the many hotel scenes in Alfred Hitchcock movies, but in a good way.
The room was comfortable enough, save for the lack of A/C. The bedspread was yet another red-gold motif, with bizarre angel paintings, a small refrigerator, and a television like the one your grandma had when you were a kid.
After a day of roaming, it was time for dinner. I hoped to eat at the hotel, but its menu left me less than inspired. Eating’s tough in Eastern Europe when you dislike pork, herring, mayonnaise, and dill. Fortunately, Hotel Ukraine shares Maidan Square with Планета Суши (Planet Sushi), and at this point a Philadelphia roll is as typical local cuisine as borscht.
The next morning, I wandered down to the second-floor breakfast buffet. It was rather expansive, and despite the cloud of dill hanging in the air and abundance of cured meats, I managed to put something together.
The dining area is fit for a state banquet from 1955. I half-expected Marilyn Monroe to pop out of the woodwork. Then I remembered that a national treasure of the free market would never set foot in the USSR and went back to eating.
All in all, I was pleased with Hotel Ukraine. Its location can’t be better, and what it lacks in superfluous luxury it makes up for in price and charm. Face it- are The People treated to such sunset views at your local highway Motel 6?
We just may be reevaluating our ideologies.
Where's my red pionerka scarf?
Oct 10, 2015, 8:41 am
#2
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Kyiv, Ukraine
Programs: Mucci, BA Gold, TK Elite, HHonors Lifetime Diamond
Posts: 7,691
Thank you for the review! The hotel was called 'Moscow' until 2001 but then was re-named as we did not really want to have anything 'Moscow' to hang over our heads on the country's main square
I think it is OK for the price but OMG what an ugly sight inside the hotel. And the dinner menu looks ridiculous (and don't get me started on the English translations). Do they not know the word 'a la carte'?
I looove the 'Herring «Under a coat» with cheese and apples' (which should be translated as a layered herring salad. I don't think any foreigner would understand what it is in the hotel's word-by-word translation
), and you're right that we do love our herring.
The price you paid sounds like an incredible value for the location. Ukraine's usual problem with lodging is that the price is high but the quality is not, and I am glad that this hotel does not price its rooms as if it were Ritz.
I think it is OK for the price but OMG what an ugly sight inside the hotel. And the dinner menu looks ridiculous (and don't get me started on the English translations). Do they not know the word 'a la carte'?
I looove the 'Herring «Under a coat» with cheese and apples' (which should be translated as a layered herring salad. I don't think any foreigner would understand what it is in the hotel's word-by-word translation), and you're right that we do love our herring.The price you paid sounds like an incredible value for the location. Ukraine's usual problem with lodging is that the price is high but the quality is not, and I am glad that this hotel does not price its rooms as if it were Ritz.
Oct 11, 2015, 12:40 am
#5
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: GYD
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Posts: 663
I'm planning a trip to London next Spring with a stopover in Kiev. I was put off the Ukraine because the prices were too low and made me a bit suspicious! I'm reassured by your report and will def stay there. How was Kiev?
Oct 11, 2015, 9:29 am
#7
Original Poster
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Kiev
I loved Kiev. To be honest I was also just there on a layover and decided to stay overnight out of curiosity, with no expectations and I was really impressed with how beautiful it was. In a way parts of it reminded me a little of some parts of Istanbul, and everything was gorgeous.
Oct 13, 2015, 10:22 am
#9
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: TPA
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Posts: 581
I have a stay at the Grand Hotel Kiev (along the river) later this year but am considering this hotel because of its location. The Fairmont certainly is nicer however I have limited time and think maybe staying in the square is a better idea.
Thoughts?
Thoughts?
Oct 13, 2015, 11:48 am
#10
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Where is that Lenin statue?
Oct 15, 2015, 8:17 am
#11
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That statue is actually not in Ukraine, but from earlier in the trip in Lithuania, at an amazing little place called Stalin World/Grutas Park (http://www.tripadvisor.com/Attractio...us_County.html)
Oct 15, 2015, 8:23 am
#12
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Kyiv, Ukraine
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Posts: 7,691
The Fairmont's location is not bad either - either a nice strall (however, up the hill) towards the European Square where Khreschatyk starts or a quick funicular ride up to the Volodymyrska hill or one stop by subway to Maidan. If you want to explore Kiev it does not really matter if you stay at Hotel Ukraine or Fairmont. They both have great locations.