B747-437B

I get this question on a near daily basis. It is especially confusing if someone sees my various IDs - I travel on an Indian passport with a Ghanaian residence permit, drive on a Canadian driving license and use a US credit card registered to a billing address in the UK. My name however is of Portuguese origin and my accent is a mish-mash of the various places I have lived and worked in.

My response varies with the person.

If its an immigration officer or similar bureaucrat, I answer "India" 'cos thats what the passport says, even though I've been living away from there since 1995.

If its someone I work with, I usually respond with "all over the place". If they are genuinely interested they ask a follow-up question and I'll give them the full story.

If its someone who is asking in a Xenophobic or otherwise hostile manner, my simple answer is "I'm not from around here" and quietly leave.

If its a genuinely curious person (and these are common in the hospitality industry in developing countries), I usually answer whichever of the relevant countries fits their world view best. It's easiest to tell a Nigerian doorman I'm from Ghana and to tell a taxi driver in Doha that I'm from India than to confuse them unneccessarily.

skylady

If you keep countering questions with questions, you are making the asker do all the work, and engaging them in conversation. This is exactly what they want, the banter, without you ever giving up any personal info. ^

meiji

I have a strange accent and sound NOTHING like the people where I grew up and since then I've worked, socialised or lived with people from all over the place and as such my accent is mangled.

If the question is of the "You don't look/sound like you're from around here and we're chatting" type then I don't really mind being asked. If I'm standing at baggage claim with family or alone and someone just blurts it out I'll say "The UK" and do my best to avoid talking to them.

Marathon Man

true true, but you see, I'm not always ON sometimes, ya know? I screw up and give up info I did not wanna do and next thing you know it's all about me again. Okay maybe I like it. but sometimes even the great and famous wanna be left alone!

hahahaha

I wish I were famous because then my whole life would be out there for them to read in the tabloids! (the way they wanna hear it)

Droneklax

LOL- I don't remember you asking the question! Which clearly means I didn't take offense at all. Same goes for bigguyinpasadena.

The truth is that it all depends on context.

A big part of my level of discomfort with the question is that I'd like to think that I can blend in without being noticed.

Sometimes the question is a reminder that I can't.

Just as well, perhaps.

nd_eric_77

Having lived in NC (grew up there; parents were midwestern transplants), IN (university), OAK, HOU and DFW, I have never had what others around me consider to be a "typical" accent for my home area. In grade school, "you aren't from here are ya?"... same in middle & hs. In college, "your new nickname is Gump". CA: "are you from Ohio or something?". Talking with neighbors this past weekend: "you aren't from here are ya?"

I do admit to intentionally minimizing the drawl / twang simply in order to more effectively communicate, especially when working out of town. My wife gets the "where are you from" quite a bit (I asked her that myself when we first met). Her nationality, residency status and race are all different (indonesian, US lawful permanent resident and chinese, respectively). She does not mind the questions - got used to answering where she was from when she worked at the front desk in a couple of hotels.

ladiflier

Wow, never thought to be offended by someone asking me where I'm from. I frequently get asked because I live in NY but travel in the US for business a lot. Clients know I come from NY but I don't have a strong NY accent and so that throws lots of people off. I'll tell them I'm from NY, to which they will say really?? Very confused so I just explain "born and raised, but parents are from Pittsburgh so their accent has rubbed"

I don't have the typical "lawng island" accent and thus pronounce the ending of words without adding an r (pizzer) or turning words like coffee into cawfee.

jplus

When I speak English I sound North American (West Coast), on good days my Chinese (Mandarin and Cantonese) is competent since I get a lot of practice with my current SO. My French is just horrible everyday.

Back on the topic, personally I wouldn't be offended if someone asks where I'm from. I can however understand if one from complicated backgrounds (like myself) does not feel like giving the whole life story to a stranger, or if the question is delivered in a xenophobic manner.

Rebelyell

I get the question quite a lot, although the answer is obvious -- the deep U.S. South. My wife recently had someone ask about her accent. She grew up in Alabama and Arkansas but attended boarding school in Wales for two years, where she picked up the very slightest British lilt to certain words. She recently conducted a seminar where a student of accents was quite puzzled. She certainly wasn't offended by his questioning.

I'm curious as to why this question would bother you?

keisari

ZCini;
I find that too politically correct.
I ask and you have the option of not answering.

gardkarlsen

Hi

Why is it a big problem? The only time I don't like being asked that question is when I'm traveling to e.g. Thailand and I'm walking down the street and getting approached by a street vendor. If I say Norway they always know something about the country in order to try to impress me so they can get a conversation started. But in situations like this I normally go for countries that people normally don't know that much about...so I say that I'm from East Timor or Namibia or something like that

Owlchick

Apologies for the necroposting, but I thought of this thread last night while I was edging away from my accoster.

Approaching the cheese counter at Whole Foods, a guy who was already there commented that I should probably try some of the cheeses...which had been my intention, so I just smiled at him.

He goes on to say, "What kind of cheese do they have where you're from?" and I looked at him, perplexed. "Which country?" He asked.

"America." I responded, still somewhat puzzled, but now edging away.

He leans over at me and gets within my personal space: "But what are you?"

That's when I'd had enough, so I said, "That's a rather odd question to be asking someone you don't even know."

He backs away then, saying, "I'm a world traveller! Just curious!"

It's the first time someone upset me with this line of questioning, but I think it's mostly because he got too physically close to me while peering intently at me.

Weird! Weird! Weird!

And if it's someone from FT, Mr. World Travller...just back off, buddy! Geeze!

I feel better now. Thanks for listening

misslee

i get asked that every time i speak a different language with a friend in a cab. it doesn't matter that i just asked the cabbie in perfect english where i would like to go... the moment i bust out in non-english conversation, the cabbie asks "so where are you from?"

i reply "um... New YORK??" giving an expression of "why if i am an asian girl speaking a foreign language must i be a tourist in this city???"


but what's worse than someone asking you where are you from based on your accent, is when even before you speak a single word, the GA at the check-in counter goes wide-eyed and asks "MAY... I... HELP.... YOU... ???" in the most patronizing tone, just because i am asian. oh well, what can you do.

thegeneral

I would think that if they are asking due to your accent, that this would be a fairly simple question to answer. They would probably like to ask what is your heritage or something of the sort, but don't want to seem inappropriate. Someone is taking an interest in you while talking to you. I don't see why you should hate them doing so.

misslee

but what if you don't have an accent and the same people who would have no idea you are not "american" per se if speaking on the phone ask you only because of the way you look? and what if you have to answer that question *almost* every time you step in to a cab in what is now your hometown? most of the cabbies of NYC are not from this city nor are they from this country... i don't ask each and every one of them where they're from... you have to understand the frustration.

then again, the assumption that i'm american would tick me off too. not because i have a problem with americans, but because altho i am a new yorker i am not an american.

ah, it's a lose-lose situation for anybody who dares to question