notsofrequentflyerbutwanttobe

I'm in my early 30s and having just finished another contracted role at home (in London) about 6 weeks ago I'm out of work now. I've been in this position many times before. Right now I'm trying to make a decision whether to stay in London and keep looking for work or go to a part of the world for 2-3 months that's been on my heart and mind (S America).

Having had four interviews in the past 6 weeks, all of which I felt I did well in but still no success for my effort despite coming very close to getting one of them (the one role I was very keen on). So I could just stay here and keep looking for work but to be honest my confidence is dented a bit after these setbacks. I feel I'm not as motivated as well after 4 interviews that haven't been successful. This month has been a washout as I've spent the majority of my time researching S America! Maybe that's why I've seen it as a sign that I need to do this trip to re-energize myself and have a break from this place.

Why I'm hesitating though is because I'm afraid to have another break without working. At this age and stage of my life the feeling that I need to settle down with a permanent job/career, family etc. is pretty intense. Yet I have none of those things, no responsibilities as such so in a way, I'm free to do as I please. But here's the thing - I DO WANT those responsibilities but life for various reasons that hasn't quite worked out for me in that way. Been unlucky with love, not successful with pursuing a career. So what more can I do? If I had something to come back to that would help along with a partner (who I thought I would have met by now).

Secondly, in addition to that concern, I'm also hesitant about travelling solo...for about the 100th time. Not for safety/security concerns but rather because I know how loneliness and solitude can cause me more harm than good. I've done some travels with others/friends but have been on far more trips on my own. It has been special in its own way and I've seen amazing places but at the same time, part of me is fed up with it too. I feel I'm at the age where I should be doing all this with a partner and yet the reality is I'm still alone. I've done enough self-reflection and analysis, people watching in cafes, sitting on hills admiring beautiful views. I want to experience all this with someone else. The ideal I guess for everyone is seeing the places of your dreams with the person of your dreams. Even so, another voice echoes inside me, encouraging me to still pursue my dreams, with or without anyone. Afterall I can manage 2-3 months. Any longer I think would be a real struggle.

I guess this was more of an inquiry into finding out whether there are other people in my age and stage of life and similar circumstances that feel the same??

bibbju

I'm not sure if this will help or not but try not to let your job situation get to you. Easier said than done I know! The job market in London is the worst (for candidates) I've ever seen. Which seems to have given some employers licence to behave badly and/or just be insanely picky about who they hire. In my industry (financial services), day rates for contractors are some of the lowest I've seen. I know good people being paid the same or less now than they were getting 10 years ago. It's ridiculous.

I'm a bit older than you but I'm in a similar position in that I've been job hunting for the last couple of months in London and am wandering if I should just pack it all in and go and live on a beach for a few months (until the Brexit shambles is over and the UK economy is no longer screwed as a result). Or sell up and leave London and any career aspirations behind completely. Job hunting is grim. I've found only a couple of roles that fitted my experience (and both would involve a significant pay cut when compared to my previous roles). One was offered to me verbally and I'd accepted but then they gave it to an internal permanent person and told me afterwards. Massively unprofessional of them and really p*ssed me off. The other role I had 3 interviews for and was told I was the preferred candidate but then it all evaporated as they couldn't decide if they really needed to hire anyone or not. Seriously. So now I'm starting job hunting from scratch again and it's miserable. Not helped by my incompetent previous employer completely messing up my final salary payment so that now I've paid effectively double tax and have to somehow get HMRC to refund me. Times are not good right now! So I sympathise with how you're feeling.

I live alone and pretty much always travel alone, mainly due to most of my friends being settled down with families/partners etc. However, for the first time I found travelling alone recently harder. I think because I'm not working and so much of my life has revolved around my job (and involves talking to a lot of people) that I realised that not working AND travelling alone was just too much alone time for me. I missed the social interaction, I missed someone to grab a coffee or glass of wine with, it was weird. I feel like I'm starting to retreat into myself and becoming a lot less sociable than I used to be. Not good.

I don't know if this will help you or not. I just wanted to let you know that there are others with similar feelings to you. When I'm feeling low, I like to plan my next trip(s) but now I feel that's almost been taken away from me as financially it would be foolish to go travelling without work being lined up.
All I can suggest is you hang in there and try to do what you think will make you happy or least unhappy. That's what I'm trying to do. Sometimes even figuring out what that is can be hard though.

etch5895

Sounds like your two main issues are that 1) You are single and don't want to be, and 2) Your job situation is not good at the moment.

Traveling solo is simply a side effect of issue number 1. Do you think you will meet someone in South America that will fix #1 ? What would you envision doing there differently that will get you to meet someone that you can't do in the UK? Then, if you do meet someone, is it because they are interested in you as a person, or your wallet?

For the 2nd issue, I guess the question is, can you afford this at a time when you don't have a reliable source of income? If you are going into debt to travel for 2-3 months without any reliable income waiting for you when you return, it might not be the best idea or time. If you do have the money, this might be just what you need to recharge your batteries, but it probably won't help you with issue#1.

notsofrequentflyerbutwanttobe

Hi thanks for your response.
Actually being single in relation to this trip I might take isn't a huge burden. What's concerning me more is the uncertainty I feel about finding work and whether going away for 2-3 months will somewhat harm my job prospects. In terms of finances, that's not an issue as I have saved up enough money and I've already calculated that I won't be out of pocket when I return, I'll still have enough money. So that's fine. It's just that I would rather have something to come back to, like a permanent job starting in August or something.

Steve M

I can't speak to the situation in the UK. In the US, the rule of thumb seems to be that being unemployed for 6 months or more makes it much more difficult to find a job. I don't think that 2-3 months is that much of an issue, other than it cuts by half the amount of time you have to find a job before you're at 6 months.

Dieuwer

How about combining things? Combine work with travel?
Perhaps go on a trip in South America that includes volunteer work for a local cause? You will receive food and lodging, but obviously have to help out. So it won't be a real "vacation", but it still would provide a break from the London dreariness.
On top of that, you will meet other people in a social setting. Who knows what connections you will make. Might come in handy when you be back home.

RustyC

I was actually in a not-dissimilar situation some years ago. I worked for a large company that used to be a "set for life" kind of employer but that was chronically downsizing. They'd try to early-retire people and do voluntary stuff before involuntary stuff.

In my case they had a plan where you'd get 75% of salary and continuance of benefits for 3 years if you quit, as long as you either taught, became a student or did volunteer work, with the payout in 2 installments in the first year. You needed 8 years of service to qualify and I made it with a few months to spare before they yanked the offer.

So I'm 33 with a moderate severance chunk of change. The responsible thing to do might be a short break, use the money for something like a house down payment, and resume the job search after the break.

Did I do that? Naw! I moved my stuff in with parents and applied proceeds (+ accumulated miles) to the "gap year I never had" for traveling, with emphasis on cheap countries. I had about a $60/day all-in budget plus enough miles for a few Asia RTs. I would be gone for 3 months or so at a stretch, rather than a single RTW. I had to run the numbers to raise my comfort level, as well as ask the usual questions about monsoon season and load up on Lonely Planets (not as much Internet then). It was an intimidating jump even with travel planned to places I'd been, and then again to start going to spots I hadn't. "Greatest hits" included Cambodia (before crowds arrived), Laos (ditto), Bali, Spice Islands/Irian Jaya (my "greatest trip" to this day), Micronesia, the southern Philippines and Nepal.

Then, as the reserves were running low some 10 months later, there were currency crashes in a number of countries, temporarily halving the cost of travel. I did something really irresponsible and dipped into my IRA, which is normally a terrible thing, but those weren't normal times and it got crushed anyway by a big market drop. Was able to add 2 more years that way.

Then, rather than jump into job-hunting, I got into the self-employed e-commerce bit (more lucrative then), so the career never did get back on track. The earnings aren't what they were but the stress and work conditions are so much better. The real revelation was thinking, "I don't have to retire from this job" if it came to that...I would have NEVER thought that at the big company, where people couldn't wait to retire.

Done right, the travel can be a great experience that really changes you. Maybe some people have a secret fear of that...they'll see how badly things like commuting dent their quality of life (at least in the U.S.) or how the suburban lifestyle can be a money pit, or maybe how they were headed toward getting too Type A a mate (e.g. Heather Mills and Paul McCartney) and in 10 years would be like the Kevin Spacey character in "American Beauty." But then, what do you do with that knowledge?

RustyC

Yeah, that's "freedom" for ya, U.S. style. And the prospective employer who believes in this arbitrary "rule" will also want you to let him see your credit report .

Once you've been your own boss, even struggling somewhat with it income-wise, it's useful to have reminders like that when the inevitable thoughts creep in that maybe the grass is greener with the steady paycheck and some benefits and all.

RustyC

To satisfy the conditions of my buyout I took the volunteer-work route, and wanted to do it in poorer countries, but found out at the last minute they'd only allow volunteering within the U.S. Then, as now, there were lots of places that wanted you to pay THEM. I finally found one where I didn't have to do that...it was a thing the U.S. Forest Service had called Passport in Time, where you could help archaeologists on digs. It could be a lot of work, but in some cases if it was outside of fire season you could use the barracks normally used by the firemen. I even got woken up by a 5.5 earthquake at one in California.

Back at work they kinda gritted their teeth, thinking I was gaming the system a bit much. But the bottom line was that it was a somewhat enhanced buyout offer and they'd gotten rid of me.

So the volunteering can be a good experience, but I'd choose gigs carefully.

etch5895

You didn't mention what career field you are in, but some have volunteer placement organizations. One such organization in the UK for accountants is called Accounting for International Development, and it offers you the chance to join accounting projects all over the developing world, some for short term (several months). They do charge a placement fee, but often the supported organization will pick up your lodging and visa fees.

http://www.afid.org.uk/

If you are not an accountant, maybe your career field has a similar program? Just something to think about. Not only do you get great experience and help some worthy causes overseas, but you get really unique things to put on your resume that may give you the boost you need, and you also won't have the 2-3 months of no work on your resume.

StartinSanDiego

I say GO! I think a trip might recharge you. Not getting jobs is depressing, and getting out, seeing some amazing things and having some amazing experiences, might be just what you need. You're in the middle of a tough grind, and a change of pace could do wonders. Your trip could be 3-4 weeks if you feel that a longer period of time might have repercussions on the job hunt.

As far as volunteering, the "workaway" programs seems to specialize in hard labor for a bed and meal. What about house sitting? Or are you thinking of a more nomadic trip? We recently hosted a young European couple traveling the world on their motorcycle. They are now house sitting for some Canadian "snow birds" in Mexico, where many people have vacation homes that sit empty for half the year.