gfunkdave

A GLBT question, and sort of a travel one...

I currently work from home in Chicago, but my company wants me to move to NY so I can come to our office every day. The office is in Patterson, NY. If I moved to Manhattan, that would be a 2 hour commute in each direction (90 min train ride from Grand Central, then a 20 min drive). I can't do that twice a day.

Where should a 29 year old single gay guy move to? I need somewhere with some semblance of a gay scene - or at least a way to meet people. And the less I have to drive, the better. I much prefer walking to restaurants/coffee shops/etc than needing to drive every time I leave the house.

Thanks for any ideas.

FlyBalletGuy

I grew up in that area, so my perspective is that of my childhood, and it's obviously changed since then. White Plains has recently undergone a building boom in the center near the train station, with a lot of commuter high-rises close to the train station. There are many more amenities there than before and the central core is walkable. I believe there is some gay life there - particularly as SUNY Purchase is nearby.

That said, there's a reason I live in NYC, not Westchester County. Can you spend a weekend there to see how you feel about it?

19103_aa

These are very pleasant, but very sleepy towns. Your choices are Poughkeepsie (Vassar, etc.) and Danbury (one club, maybe). Not great options, particularly if coming from Chicago. My recommendation is to have them treat you like a consultant with corporate housing during the week and a ticket home to Chicago on the weekends.

izzik

Wherever you end up, I recommend considering the proximity of a train station (specifically Metro-North). If you end up taking the train around the area, it makes a difference to be able to walk to the station instead of driving.

Also, look at relevant train schedules to see how frequent the service is, esp on weekends.

gfunkdave

This is all what I was scared of. I go to our office fairly frequently, and yes, it's a pretty sleepy area.

Well, I will check out White Plains next time I"m in the area, and maybe I'll have to suck it up for a year. I'll probably spend much more time on FT! :-/

FlyBalletGuy

I was checking - White Plains is a healthy drive - probably at least a half an hour drive from Patterson without traffic. Poughkeepsie and Danbury are closer but on the wrong train lines. You may want to just live in NYC close to Grand Central Terminal.

MiamiAirport Formerly NY George

Sounds like you are a very typical urban gay male (which is a good thing) and might not do so well in a surburban setting where gay life is limited. As suggested before, maybe look for an apartment very near Grand Central and do the commute at least for awhile (hopefully you could get a cat nap on the train). If you like NYC, which will be very different than Chicago, a job change might be needed unless you can work out an arrangement to possibly telecommute 2-3 days per week. It might also give you time to check out what gay life is like in Westchester county (would tend to think mostly couples and very young gay men) and whether it would be suitable for you.

It may just be one of those times in your life its the job or quality of life and believe me there are always other jobs.

gfunkdave

That's pretty much what I'd been afraid of. Thing is, I'm not really a fan of NYC (nice place to visit but I wouldn't really want to live there) but I'd be willing to move there as a compromise. I've asked to do the telecommuting thing, but no dice.

In looking around for a job, I've come to realize a) how much responsibility I have - I love being at a small company and b) how overpaid I am.

So I might need to stick it out another year and be lonely with the cats in the burbs, then find something else is a more hospitable area.

Thanks for all the input, guys. You know, this would be much easier if I had a partner...anyone single out there?

izzik

You know, I hate to burst the NYC-centric bubble here but a 2 hr train-drive commute each way doesn't justify living in NYC. It might sound like blasphemy but there are places in Westchester and western CT where GLBT professionals happily exist. Really!

gfunkdave

Exactly - I'm trying to figure out where those places are! And I completely agree that 4 hours in transit every single day is a pretty compelling reason not to live in NYC.

Well, that and paying $3000 a month to live in a closet. Though I admit I'm spoiled rotten living in my palace here in Chicago...

MiamiAirport Formerly NY George

Yes, but the OP is the type that wants the gay life at his fingertips (as well as any 29 yo gay man should). Can't do that in the burbs. And I feel safe in saying that particularly for a young gay man life in the burbs is going to get very lonely at times. The OP is in a very difficult place and I can certainly appreciate the good pay and flexibility of working for a small company (particularly as it relates to gay men and their lifestyle). He has some very hard choices to make and the best of luck to him.

For the OP, PM if you have any specific questions about NYC, and again, good luck.

itsaboutthejourney

yes, but sorry the cats are a dealbreaker!

Seriously, I suggest renting something for a year up there, but close to the train into NYC. Everyone I know who has purchased houses in that area loves it. Culinary Institute of America, The DIA/Beacon museum and great little towns with pretty upscale shops & restaurants are close. And Stewart ariport is a breeze to fly thru, although I heard AA pulled out its nonstops to ORD.

KENNECTED

You don't have to live in midtown to get upstate to White Plains. You can very easily live in Harlem or the Bronx and do a reverse commute.

gfunkdave

Thanks all...if I do move I will likely just rent something near the train, as someone suggested.

What about Stamford/Norwalk?

izzik

stamford isn't bad from a train-to-nyc perspective, as it's only 40ish minutes on the express. It's also in a nice area. Isn't it a bit far from Patterson tho?