Cheetah_SA

Any of you who have read my posts in the “Other ME and African FF” forum will know that despite (or because of) my massive usage of them in the past, I am not SAA's biggest fan and that they have given me enough grief to warrant my scepticism. So it is with some surprise that I am here to tell you about my delightful flight with them from LHR to CPT on 31 January.

This turned out very long-winded so I’ve divided it up into parts. Hopefully that way you can find specific information more easily and cut through the waffle.

Edited to add useful search keywords: South African Airways, SAA, first, London Heathrow, Cape Town

Cheetah_SA

SA only offers F on their 747's and they usually only fly those on the JNB-LHR route. But sporadically, and rather unpredictably, they use the 747 on the CPT-LHR route. When I decided to break a circle trip I needed flights from Europe to S Africa in late January. I looked for J award seats but could only find ones in F. It's really not worth the extra Voyager miles but since it was only one way (I snagged one-way upgrades for the return to Europe later this year) I decided to go for it.

I fretted what would happen if we had an equipment change and the combination of my unhappy experience with an upgrade in November and the looming BA strike (on our very day of travel!) made me very nervous that SA would sell my award seats to the highest bidder and put me in coach.

Cheetah_SA

But whether because the strike didn't materialise or my paranoia was overdone, I needn't have worried. Having overcome the obstacle course of ramps and empty marquees that forced our excellent driver to park inconveniently far from the terminal or any trolleys, we arrived at the F desk and were promptly and efficiently checked in by a charming agent. She provided us with invitations to the lounge and invited us to use the Fast Track lane. That was very nice even though LHR Terminal 1 was eerily quiet - presumably as a result of the strike that never was. (Later confirmed by conversation overheard between the WH Smith shop attendants saying it has been thus all day.)

We ran the gamut of the dreaded LHR security with our little baggies at the ready. (Wot a larf!) The staff were still awfully grumpy - as if they'd been denied their rightful quota of cowed travellers to shout at. Since it took all of 2 minutes (the one and only chap ahead of us was testing their patience by doing everything wrong - "remove your shoes, sir", "remove your coat, sir", "do you have a laptop in that bag? remove it and place it in a tray,sir"...) we just smiled seraphically at them - and they scowled back - and moved on.

Terminal 1 has had some changes since I was last there (have I really managed to avoid it for so long?) and it was nice to browse in a slightly disoriented way before heading off to the lounge (down at gate 22, IIRC). Once there you can't get back except via FCC which might have been a doddle that evening, but is super annoying given there are 3 security people (chatting idly) and a scanner at the entrance who could easily process the occasional lounge rat wanting to return to the shops. (Does BAA realise that it is foregoing possible sales to (presumably) well-heeled F and J pax? I bet if I write to them they'll persuade the powers that be to revert to opening that channel again. That big sign immediately after security that says "you can buy anything you like now and take it on the plane" is just evidence to me that security and BAA are in cahoots.)

I trawl for my usual purchases, Bendicks Bittermints, some Duchy biscuits, goat's cheese. No luck with the cheese, and it is illegal to import it... still, Caviar House used to have a lovely one that was worth risking confiscation. (Plus nobody has been able to tell me what biological catastrophe I am capable of wreaking on the continent of Africa by importing 200g of cheese.) I know they're not good value at the airport, so I'm never quite sure why I make these ritual purchases but I make them pretty much every time.

Cheetah_SA

Off to the lounge with well over an hour before our 20h15 departure. The F section is crowded! Didn't even look into J since that is crowded at the best of times. And this is after the first JNB flight has departed. CPT is next and then there's another JNB flight. Where do all these people come from? Later I work out that some must be Voyager Plats since quite a few disappear into the J cabin. And an awful lot remained behind presumably for the 21h05 JNB flight.

We are forced to sit under the big TV screen yammering away with Sky news. A friendly assistant offers me the menu and I ask for a glass of champers (another ritual of mine - a l/h trip should be initiated with bubbly). Both SO and I decide against the food offerings though some look quite tempting. We want to shower and not spoil our appetites.

SO finds all the showers are locked. Can they all be in use? I have seldom encountered anyone else using them so I enquire. Turns out you need to go to the front desk, lodge your boarding pass and get a key. (Apart from lodging your BP, they use this system at the LHR arrivals lounge to cope with the morning rush. Not sure why it has been instituted in the F departures lounge. At JNB’s J departure lounge they require you to lodge your BP in order to get towels! You get your BP back when you return the towels. How tacky is that! Is the calibre of J pax in Africa really so bad they can’t be trusted with the towels?)

I get SO a key and enjoy my bubbly. I check when I get a refill: it's Piper. The red and white wines are S African and do not tempt me away from bubbly. There is also middle tier liquor and a selection of snacks (cashew nuts, crisps etc.). I notice the "business centre" and a peek indicates that despite the crush in the lounge there is actually a free computer and several other open stations. Not sure how many other computers are provided but I took the opportunity to check mail.

When SO emerges scrubbed and fresh, I ask for another key. Consternation and confusion! They'll have a shower cleaned for me. Since there are at least 3 (possibly 4, I can't rightly remember) and I have seen nobody going to the showers I don't understand the run-around. Just give me clean towels, I plead. But a minion is despatched and seemingly within seconds the shower that SO used is pristinely clean and ready for me. I’ve always liked the showers in the SA lounges – big enough, nice African-lite décor and practical. Except that they don’t provide basin plugs (do pax steal these too?), which is very annoying, when you want to shave. As I am dressing they call the CPT flight. Such timing!

Cheetah_SA

Then it's through the next barricade of tetchy security people. "Keep your shoes on ladies and gentlemen." As I've seen so often, if the queue gets too long, they just let a bunch through without scanning them. So this is a "random security check", huh? Because we might have been consorting with arriving pax, I suppose. But especially as you can't even get back to duty free from the lounge, I sneer anew at these contradictory practices and flounce on board. There is no facility for priority boarding at LHR but they seemed to have called pax in the lounge after most had boarded so there was very little queuing on the air bridge.

We are shown to our seats by friendly staff and offered drinks (“I’ll have the champers, thanks”) and later sleep suits, amenity kits and newspapers. Since I've last flown F on SA, I've flown F on EK, BA, CX and QF. I mention this not to impress with name dropping (though that is a convenient by-product. ) but to say I am now a much more informed traveller in F and can draw comparisons that were previously not possible for me. I was a bit surprised to find the "feel" of the cabin more exposed than any of the others. Obviously in a cabin with only 10 seats it is spacious, but there also seems to be less privacy. The hard-shell beds don't enclose you quite the way that most other F suites do. In the 1-2-1 configuration we had 3D and G, the rear of only 2 pairs of seats in F that are realistically suited to 2 pax travelling together who have any intention of communicating during the flight. I like the proximity to the loos and have never found galley noise a problem. (I do use earplugs).

The unisex amenity kits are the same as you get in J - ordinary and totally lacking in flair. And they've had them so long I have a cupboard full. I thought they were revamping the F offering? The sleep suits have somewhat garish v-neck tops in blue, red and black and very nice, lightweight knit trousers with lightly elasticised waist and ankles. Also not changed in years. Got changed immediately. The FA was cleverly “locking” the F loo to prevent interlopers from J from illegal squatting (a big problem with S Africans, as I’m sure you have read in the newspapers). But it did have the unwanted effect of making us F pax believe the loos were occupied. Lucky I found out about it early so I knew to do a pax count to check for availability and not believe the signage.

I also think I might have started with a fair bit of trepidation that SA would be a big disappointment after those 1st tier airlines. And possibly as a result a few things irritated right off. Like when I asked if there was a magazine rack. The FA apologetically pointed to a heap of plastic covered bundles on the galley floor and the pathetic "rack" (barely big enough for a menu). Said she was intending to take them round on a trolley after take-off. But she insisted on tearing them all open for me right there - and then did take them round on a trolley right away. Nice recovery. ^

SO was also annoyed when his tonic water (poor dear, he's allergic to alcohol) was snatched away before we even pushed back. But I think that was a misunderstanding: the glass was very full of ice and the FA probably thought the drink was empty. Most annoyingly, during take-off the FA's carried on a clearly audible conversation which included snatches like: "well I know how to flirt… there's nothing wrong with flirting... if I want to I'll flirt... and I'll do more, if I feel like it...". Banal, too personal and, I feared, might presage a crew more into their own chitchat than pax needs.

Cheetah_SA

Well again, my fears were groundless. The personable purser warmly greeted each F pax in turn and set the tone for an excellent service by mucking in and helping whenever a deficiency caught his eye. The other (female) FA's were nimble, very friendly and efficient. Having waved away a hot towel I ordered some red wine as I wanted to eat and sleep toute suite. I chose the Idiom 2004 Shiraz blend - and from that moment all was bliss! What an outstandingly luscious, full-flavoured wine! It is my belief that new world style wines, with their more up-front fruitiness, generally survive better at altitude. But this was a real beauty. So I drank nothing but that and sparkling water till bedtime.

The wine list was a card inserted in the menu and covered both F and J offerings. Just for completeness it consisted of:

Champagne:
Moet & Chandon Brut Imperial (F)
Champagne Louis de Sacy Grand Cru (F)
Champagne Carte Verte Brut Reserve Blanc de Blancs (J)
Champagne Georges Vesselle Brut Grand Cru (J)

Red wine:
Idiom Shiraz/Mourvedre/Viognier 2004 (F)
Mooiplaas Cabernet Sauvignon 1999 (F &J)
M’hudi Pinotage 2004 (J)

White wine:
Iona Sauvignon Blanc 2006 (F)
Stellenzicht Golden triangle Chardonnay 2003 (F & J)
Nicolas van der Merwe Sauvignon Blanc Semillon 2005 (J)

Ports:
De Krans Cape tawny Port
Boplaas Cape Tawny Port

The menu itself was rather ugly, featuring a meretricious, Beyonce type wannabe and kiwi fruit in a pointless and unstylish design on the cover, which managed somehow to look both drab and lurid at the same time. For dinner it offered:

Starter
Duo of Beetroot Smoked Salmon and Seared Marinated Prawns – with cucumber and dill salad, lollo biondi lettuce and a lemon wedge
French Onion Soup – with a ciabatta crouton
Salad – with choice of dressings

Main Course
Braised Rump of Lamb – in a red wine jus with potato mash, roasted red onion and celery
Breast of Chicken – with red curry sauce, fragrant rice, carrots and sugar snap peas
Pan-Seared Cod – with sauce vierge, butter beans, seared endive, tomato salsa and Kenyan beans
Mushroom-filled Ravioli – with creamy pesto sauce, butternut squash, shiitake mushrooms and parmesan cheese.

Dessert
Dundee Cake- with fruit compote and brandy sauce
Vanilla and Chocolate Ice Cream - with chococalte sauce or raspberry coulis, toasted almonds and a wafer

Mmm… tough choices. Had a giggle at the mushrooms (Catherine Tate has much to answer for) and then chose the onion soup (light and tasty with an inedible "crouton" – which seems to be Seffrican for stale old crust of bread) and the lamb (delicious, rich and tender - perfectly accompanied by the wine). A teeny bit of cheese (just to see how well the wine would go with it – marvellously!) and the Dundee cake (which turned out to be... well, Dundee Cake... what was I expecting?).

SO had the salmon and prawn starter (which he proclaimed excellent) and ordered the mushroom ravioli. And here's where the damndest thing happened. The FA came to him shortly after taking orders to announce that they had no more ravioli. SO was happy to make another choice but she said not to worry yet as she will see what J has to offer. Some time late she reappears to say that she could find nothing in J but there was vegetarian pasta in Y that was absolutely delicious and would he like to try it. Understandably bemused he agreed. They re-plated it before serving it to him and lo and behold: it was delicious!

I was flabbergasted. How many airlines would dare to tout their Y meal in the F cabin - and pass the test! ^ ^ I do think they tarted it up with some parmesan shavings (clever sausages), but still that deserves huge kudos. He finished with the ice cream with both sauces.

Cheetah_SA

After that satisfying meal it was time to tuck in. As several others had the same idea and were occupying the staff, I started to recline my seat in preparation. The FA’s were aghast and took it as a criticism of their efficiency. They begged me to stop assuring me I would be attended to momentarily. Not wishing to offend I performed my ablutions and returned to my fully made and turned back bed. ^ I wanted something from duty free and the FA took my credit card, passport and order and said she would sort it out.

In an Idiom-atic haze I drifted off into blissful sleep. The SA bed in F is a winner. The armrest goes fully flat so that you have plenty of space at shoulder height and thanks to the ottoman design it is amply long enough for my 180cm. I don’t find I have any trouble with the joins (CX is the worst – digs you right in the hip) or find it excessively hard (as in BA). On both those airlines I have to sleep on top of the duvet to get comfortable. I managed several hours of almost uninterrupted sleep, though I find one does have to almost waken to disentangle the duvet and the seat belt occasionally. Normally there is (sometimes quite heavy) turbulence over the tropics but we seemed to have a very smooth flight.

On the subject of turbulence, my biggest problem was flatulence of a magnitude that could register on the Richter scale. Not wishing to offend you, Delicate Readers, but I was forced to release gas quite often. I trust I did this surreptitiously but with my earplugs in it was impossible to know whether or not I was trumpeting forth in the quiet F cabin. Nobody glared at me in the morning so I trust I had been discrete.

Cheetah_SA

Awaking refreshed I asked for and got coffee in short order (SA serve a cafetiere) and soon the FA’s were offering juice around the still dark cabin. The mango/banana mix was a delicious pick-me-up. I noticed my duty free packet was there with my passport and cc and SO told me the FA would bring the slip for my signature, which she did immediately I mentioned it.

Then I started to watch drivel on the IFE. SA offers AVOD with a fair selection of films and TV programs. Not the biggest screen in the sky (IME that would have to be EK’s on the 77W – could the one on their 345 be even bigger?) but fair quality and very easy to navigate. I watched a sitcom or two, and then atoned for my philistinism with some ravishing Mozart sung by Magdalena Kozena.

Breakfast was served very efficiently. I won’t give the menu, which had nothing startling on it apart from the cheese frittata, which was simple but excellent.

Arrival was scheduled for 10h20 but we had made up time in the night and were more than half an hour early. There was still more than enough time to get everything cleared away without a rush. Our approach into CPT on a flawless day (already 25 degrees) was breathtaking. I cursed myself for not taking a window seat on the right as a panorama of postcard-perfect views unfolded taking in the sweep of Table Bay, Robben Island, Table Mountain, the Peninsula and both oceans. And it was so clear I swear I could have waved to our dogs in Green Point. The approach to this gorgeous city is often lovely but there was something special about our flight path and the clarity of the air that day.

The purser came and thanked all the F pax for flying SA and I congratulated him on a fine crew and excellent food. Naturally he was pleased and said that he had noticed the food has been improving steadily for some time.

Cheetah_SA

A few minutes after we stopped in front of the terminal (but not at an air bridge) the captain informed us that the craft wasn’t quite in the right place so we would have to wait for a tug to pull us forward. This was quicker than I thought it would be and we only gave up a few minutes of our early arrival.

We were bussed to the nice new spacious international arrivals terminal. There is no separate bus for premium pax though they do, obviously, deplane and board the buses first. I guessed which side of the bus would face the terminal door on arrival and stood at a door. My guess was right and we were among the first to enter an empty immigration hall staffed with plenty of officials. Through in a few seconds, grabbed a trolley and waited at belt 1 which was indicated for SA221. SO and I took turns to use the loo – very clean with a super helpful attendant who passed paper towel to you as you washed your hands. Impressive.

By now lots of pax were through but still no luggage. Then I noticed that belt 2 had lots of luggage and no people. The monitor still said belt 1 but I kept a weather eye on belt 2 and recognised a piece of our luggage. So we drifted off and soon got all 3 pieces. Nobody else had twigged yet so we were first through customs by a long shot. Not always a good thing – I prefer to arrive with a gaggle of others to lessen any chance of the third degree. (Not that I’ve got anything to hide – especially not cheese. ) But with a sceptical once over, a “how long were you away” and a glance at our forms we were waved though.

Since we were so early we alerted the friend who was fetching us not to park but to meet us out front. This was easier said than done. CPT is perennially undergoing construction work and on this day it had totally disrupted the flow of traffic in front of the terminal. After getting directions and following a tricky pedestrian route we were united with our friend and left CPT still well before the scheduled arrival time of SA221.

Cheetah_SA

One of my most enjoyable F flights ever. I guess there was plenty you could complain about if you wanted to (and believe me, I can carp with the best). As always the crucial factor was the genuinely friendly and efficient service. When cheerful, thoughtful people who really seem to be enjoying their jobs and to be motivated to make your experience as pleasant as possible are attending you to, it doesn’t occur to you to try to find fault. That plus the combination of a decent hard product (the seat/bed, the IFE) and just enough real highs (the wine, the lamb) quells any thoughts of churlish criticism.

And ironically I will be flying SA much less in future, having switched allegiance to BA and OW.

HIDDY

Very enjoyable and fun to read report.

Liked the flatulence part, I can suffer from that too on some flights and I let rip under the blanket as well.

Babu

well done! A pleasure to read...I felt as if I was there in the cabin with you Cheetah_SA!

Nanook

Great report. I smiled throughout and laughed aloud once. Would love to have a video of you "flouncing" aboard the aircraft.

Cheetah_SA

Thanks, kind people!

That would probably be a great disappointment -the "flounce" might be more in my imagination than the staggering gait that an unforgiving video camera would record.

Fraser

Great stuff! I love your writing style...and now I know what meretricious means

My parents are flying SAA F for the first time this week. I'll be keen to hear their thoughts...