thegoderic

IAH – AMS – GLA
KLM World Business Class (Privatair Business Jet)
The late KLM flight to Amsterdam departs at 20:25, so I was able to finish work and have a beer before heading to the airport. I arrived at the international check in area at 19:00 to find it totally deserted with no other passengers in sight. This confused me for a second, but then I worked out that the BA flight departed at 19:20 and there were only a maximum of 44 passengers for the KLM flight. Not surprisingly, check in took no time at all, as did security, and I was heading upstairs to the KLM “Lounge”. If you have read all the earlier posts, you will have noticed that I have a very low opinion of the GLA KLM lounge. Well compared to the one at IAH it is a palace. The room is fairly small with a selection of seats and tables, and it was fairly full with 25 – 30 people sitting around. However, by the sight of the debris, no-one had cleared up the mess from the earlier KLM flight, so every table was covered with empty glasses and bottles. Food and snacks were limited to some crappy crisps and the like and the bar selection was so bad, I ended up drinking sparkling water. Not a good start.
The flight was called about 19:45 and again boarding was a doddle. I thought I had a window seat (6D) as the KLM website numbers seats ABDC, but this turned out to be an aisle seat. Not a problem, but KLM should get the seat numbering on their website to match reality.
After an offer of champagne and amenity kits, we pushed back 20 minutes early and were soon airborne. DigE players were distributed. Mine proved to be even more of a pain than on the flight out. I didn’t want to sit through a film, just watch a daft TV programme while I ate. Easier said than done. The sequence of events ran something like this:-
• DigE player offered by steward, power and earphone cable connected, unit seen to be working.
• Put headphones on, only 1 channel of sound available.
• Play with headphone cable connector, dislodge power connector
• Reconnect power, system boots up, but menu will not work
• Call FA, get replacement player
• Start player up, discover no sound again.
• Untangle wires, get up, collect my headphones plug in, sound is there.
• Select Absolutely Fabulous, adjust seat, pull power cable out of socket
• Reboot system, get past Ab Fab credits, drinks come, move player across table, power cable falls out again.
• Finally get Ab Fab working. Watch programme very carefully as if sitting next to an unexploded bomb.
• Dinner service starts. Give up on video and listen to iPod while eating.
Just in case you think I am a total moron who shouldn’t be allowed near any item of consumer electronics under any circumstance, it may be worth noting that the two ladies who were sat across the aisle managed to get through 5 players while this was going on, calling the FA for replacements every two minutes.
I mentioned the glacial food service on the way out. Now given that we had departed in the evening and might want to sleep, you might expect a faster service on the way back. Well, I suppose we did, but the started did not arrive until 1 hour and 20 minutes into the flight and it was nearly 2 hours before the main courses were served.
Having said that, my steak main course was worth waiting for. It is the first steak I have ever had on a plane that would approach restaurant quality and it was pink in the middle. I emptied my plate with some enjoyment.
However, time was passing, so at this point, I gave up, piled food utensils and DigE player on my tray, and flattened the bed to get some sleep.
I am actually famous as someone who could sleep on a washing line, but I found it impossible to get comfortable in the inclined flat bed that is on offer. CO offered a similar style of product and I had a fantastic night’s sleep with them, but this time I catnapped at best. Whatever I did, I couldn’t get my feet in a position that didn’t feel as if I was sliding off a cliff. For me, this is an absolute show-stopper which would stop me from ever choosing this flight again.
I woke at some time in the night to discover that the FA had put a bottle of water by the seat. I sat up to drink and was rewarded with the quite bizarre sight of a 737 with no seats visible. Everyone in front of me had reclined their seat and was lying at ankle height, which just left an uninterrupted row of seat frames ahead.
I woke properly a little while later to discover we were two hours to AMS. Breakfast was being served, but the FA had a problem with mine. They had put a breakfast menu in the dinner menu and you could select what you wanted and hand it to the FA after dinner. Now I hadn’t made it to the end of dinner, so they didn’t have my card, which caused them some issue in getting me a breakfast. As a result of this, breakfast took a good 30 minutes to arrive, and then I had to wait until another FA came along with the jug of milk to put on my muesli. Another small point that counts against this flight for me.
After another ritual of handing out the Delft houses (the man next to me had a piece of paper in his wallet listing the ones he needed for his collection!), we landed at AMS 30 minutes early and were off the plane in a trice.
This gave me 3 hours before my GLA connection, and remembering what the KLM lounge was like on the way out, I used BA Gold card privileges and sat in the terrace, drinking water and doing emails.
There is of course no flight call made in the BA lounge for KLM flights, but I kept abreast of the likely departure time from the KLM website and headed to the gate in plenty of time. This time KLM had not cancelled the flight, and I had row 1 to myself. The business cabin was fairly empty and row 2 behind me was filled with 2 KLM FAs in uniform on a positioning flight.
We arrived in GLA on time and I staggered home feeling significantly more jaded than I had on any of my other returns from IAH.
If had a problem with a day flight with KLM, the speed of dinner service and bed comfort on a night flight are the final nail in the coffin for me. They are, however very cheap in comparison, which may go to confirm you get what you pay for.

thegoderic

MAN – LAS – IAH
bmi The Business / CO Domestic First
My next trip spanned the end of my BA membership year, so I decided to go back with them this time. I will beat 1500 TPs with ease, but getting 140 under your belt in the first couple of weeks is always a good start. I had to fly out on Sunday again, but had found a connecting flight from NCL to LGW that would allow me a relatively civilised departure time. Our on-line booking tool would not let me choose this flight, so I called the call centre to book it. Now our travel agency has a different approach to offshoring, so instead of Bangalore, they have moved it to Nice. I called to make the reservation and a very attractive sounding French voice told me that BA had an offer on which would allow me to fly FIRST one way on a business class ticket. “Great”, said I, “I’ll have some of that.” “Well”, came the reply, “You cannot fly at the usual route deal price”. I asked for the difference and was told it would be a mouth-watering £1500 more than the normal price (and this time the “normal” price was significantly more expensive than normal). Flying FIRST one way is nice, but is it worth an additional £150 per hour? I think not, so I booked a standard business class ticket.
Then I got an email from those nice people at Diamond Club offering triple miles. Sometimes these promotions work and this was the right offer at the right time. A quick calculation made me try to get a flight to ORD, but unfortunately there didn’t seem to be any availability, so I plumped for MAN – LAS with a CO connection to IAH. Advantages of this (apart from the miles) was that it was about £1,000 cheaper than BA, I would get a chance to sample bmi’s Business product, the end to end journey time would be about the same, and I could travel back (but not out) with two carry ons (No connection at LGW). Oh and if I managed to finish work in Houston a day early, I could spend a day playing about in Vegas on the way back (Las, that is, not Johnny) .
So, Sunday morning found me at MAN anticipating the bmi experience. I’m afraid it didn’t start well. I arrived at check in at 08:00 and found a queue to join the queue. They were doing some sort of security check before you could go check in. 15 minutes later, I get to the front of the queue where the person demands a printed copy of my itinerary. I explain to him that I have an e-ticket and so don’t need one, but he won’t let me past without one. After some negotiating, he is happy for me to power up my laptop and show him a copy of the bmi confirmation email. After this I have another 15 minute queue to check in and then have to find the security man again so that he can autograph my BP. Two things spring to mind. Firstly I could print an itinerary for any flight that would pass the sort of scrutiny that he gave my email. Secondly, if bmi are serious about this, then they should do what most normal airlines do which is to give the security person a laptop with the full passenger manifest on it so that they could carry out a proper check. Finally, bmi need more space and / or staff at peak times when the LAS and ORD flights are checking in at the same time.
The bmi lounge in T3 is the domestic lounge, so I was expecting nothing special. The check in agent had asked if I know where the lounge was and after I said yes, I was surprised to find a lounge invitation in my hand with a map on it. I found that slightly odd, and dumped it in the nearest bin. However when I arrived at the lounge, I was told off in a very pleasant and jokey way by the dragon there. I had a soft drink in the Diamond Club which was surprisingly crowded, and shortly after 9, those travelling on BD 751 were invited to go to the desk where they would be escorted to the plane. This was a new experience to me and we followed the lounge dragon (who, incidentally seemed rather well built and deep voiced) from one end of he terminal to the other to join the flight. Boarding proper had not started and we were marched through the rabble who were sitting around the gate and straight onto the plane.
I had booked 1K when I made the reservation and for once, bmi’s booking engine had worked. The Business cabin had 24 seats arranged 2-2-2 on the 330, and it was about 75% full. Many of the other passengers were travelling in pairs and looked like premium leisure passengers rather than business ones.
Gold seat blocking had worked, and I had 1J to dump assorted newspapers onto. Seats looked perfectly reasonable old style business class seats, with more than adequate legroom. bmi have announced that they will replace these seats with flat beds next year and one of the FAs told me during the journey that when the did this, Business capacity would drop from 24 to 18 and the current Business seats would find their way back to Premium Economy. If that happens, imho it will give bmi a killer product. Loading seemed very good on the flight with both PE and Economy cabins at 80 – 90% full.
I had barely reached my seat when an FA came and offered my a glass of champagne. Although only 09:45, it would have been churlish to refuse, but I did turn down her offer of a pre take off top up a little later.
BNT (Before Nigel Turner), I used to like bmi and I actively preferred them to BA. They offered extra little touches on their flights than pleased me and were generally great value for money. Now the dive to the modular airline, together with the introduction of some new IT systems that has screwed the booking, seat allocation and olci systems have made me use them as a carrier of last resort. If there FF scheme wasn’t so generous, I’d probably have given up on them completely. This flight restored my faith in them and reminded me what it used to be like. They do everything you could ask for, only slightly better.
I’m getting a little ahead of myself here, so back to the flight. While I was drinking Champagne, an amenity kit was delivered that came in a very nice brown case with a mock suede finish. It looked very much like the CO one from the outside, but inside it had a couple of nice touches. Apart from the usual socks, eyeshade, toothpaste and potions there was a mirror built into the lid of the case and the contents included a small book and space pen that is actually worth keeping and may even get used.
The menu also arrived and made very pleasant reading.


On a couple of recent flights, I’ve struggled to find something I fancied from the menu. This time I was spoilt for choice. A few minutes later the FA came around, I said she’d beaten me to it as I hadn’t chosen lunch, but she told me that she was merely taking the post take-off drink order and the chef would be around to take lunch orders once we were airborne. I’d forgotten that bmi do have an on-board chef. Is this a gimmick or can it make a difference in the food? I would find out soon.
We pushed back at 10:02. I had left 3 hours at Vegas for my connecting flight which was on a different ticket, so I needed a reasonably on time trip. We taxied to the end of the newer runway and took off to the West with a 40 second take off run. I used to live fairly close to MAN, so I spent the first few minutes spotting familiar landmarks until we disappeared into cloud at 5,000 ft.
My requested glass of champagne was poured in front of me from the bottle and came accompanied by some Bombay mix and a glass of water. I sipped and nibbled away for a few minutes whilst reading the Sunday Times, then the promised chef came around for the order. I chose asparagus and fish cakes. I was offered a second glass of champagne but declined. A little later the table was set up and I was given my own personal bread basket with three types of rolls in it. I also had a choice of butter or oil to accompany it, which I thought was a nice touch. The only disappointment was the plastic flatware.
Soon the asparagus appeared. My first though was that if this tastes half as nice as it looks, I’m in for a treat. It actually tasted better than it looked and was quite delicious by any standards. I would have gladly paid good money in a restaurant for this as a starter, and there aren’t many things you eat in a metal tube at 38,000 ft you can say that about.
The fishcakes afterwards were merely one of the nicest airline meals I’ve ever had, without quite reaching the giddy heights of the starter. I finished with some delicious and beautifully presented cheese and truly tasty coffee.
I then opened my laptop and did some work, although I did take a time out to watch a Ryder Cup DVD that came with the Sunday Times a few weeks ago. It showed some of the great singles matches over the years, but none can compare with the drama and poignancy of Darren Clarke’s win last month.
I went to the loo and found one of the flight crew there, drinking coffee and eating a chocolate biscuit. It was interesting that the captain’s announcement named three flight crew by name. I don’t normally take much notice of these, but I can only remember two being named on longer flights.
I didn’t get a chance to sample the film selection which looked OK, although there was no AVOD. I did listen to the audio channels with the headphones that were supplied. They were presented in a nice cloth bag with the plastic wrapped headphone inside (nice touch) and I think they must be noise cancelling because of the effect it had when you put them on. Much better than CO and KLM’s efforts.
Some time later, afternoon tea was offered. Again, it was the equal of anything I’ve ever had on a plane. I was given a round glass plate with a perfectly presented selection of savoury and sweet items, washed down by a cup of Earl Grey. What a civilised way to travel.
It had been cloudy almost the entire way over until this point, but as the cloud cleared, I turned the channel to the straight down camera, and used it to tell me when I needed to look out of the window as we passed over the spectacular scenery of Southern Utah and Nevada. While this was happening, I was catching up on trip reports, writing up my last 4 transatlantic sectors.
Finally we did a flyby of the strip, headed South and took a wide turn before coming in for a perfect landing about 15 minutes early.
The ground handling staff came on the tannoy to welcome us all before we got off the plane. Immigration was a doddle, and the bags came off about 10 minutes after I got through. My bag was the fifth one on the band. A perfect end to a close to perfect flight.

jpatokal

A very experience, but your dry British wit is

Maurits

Truly a great read. Also I now know better than to take the KL flight to IAH out of AMS. I'll try CO instead!

Kind regards,
Maurits

vflyer

Hi there

An excellent read, on a par with Kiwi Flyer ^

Thanks
vflyer

Dan Dare

Similar issue for myself last time I went MAN-ORD. I was asked for my ticket by the lady doing the prescreening before I was be permitted to join the queue for check in.

I explained "I don't have a physical ticket as I have an e-ticket"

"Yes" she said "can I see it?"

"Impossible" I say "It's an e-ticket. Therefore please let me pass and check in. Here's my passport and if you check your system you will see I have a reservation."

"No I need to see your ticket."

"Do you mean you want to see my itinerary?" I ask

"Yes" she says

"Well why didn't you ask?" I saracsticly retort.

I then produce a printed sheet that has been prepared by my PA with details of Hotel, Meetings, Car Rental etc. She looks over it and then waves me on.

What a farce - and to think this is how we fight the war on terror. Officous Jobsworths who want to see a worthless piece of paper.

Flyer_Tuck

And to think, this is who we are fighting for: those who deliberately taunt people doing thankless jobs and hold up the queue for everyone else.

Dan Dare

I was pointing out the Officious nature of the lady in question and the reason I spoke Sarcastically was because she was so rude to me. As for holding up the queue, hopefully you are referring to the Lady and not me, the queue consisted of only one person. That person was me.

I believe in being courteous and polite at all times. It costs nothing to be nice. I greeted her with my customary smile and a hearty hello. Indeed I was being extremely polite until this Lady decided to treat me like scum. If someone shows so little respect for me that they are rude then I reflect their behaviour. At no time did this Lady use the words “Please” or “Thank You”.

What level of security does this represent? Being able to produce an itinerary that has been prepared by my PA doesn’t prove anything.

PS Thanks for the appraisal of my spelling. I realise that my spelling is awful, for which I apologise but please be as careful with the use of grammar.

thegoderic

The final sector of an increasingly wrongly titled trip report.

LAS – MAN bmi The Business

I flew CO from LAS to IAH and back, and their first class service was OK. It also got me to the point where I have Gold status on KLM, which I will probably never use, but it also has built my KLM mileage up to the point where I could actually fly somewhere with them
I’d spent the night in Vegas and so ended up checking in for the flight, rather than transferring. McCarran has a new and very smart domestic terminal, but the international flights depart from Terminal 2 which is somewhat different shall we say.
The terminal is small and on entering the bmi desks were straight ahead of me. The check in area reminded me of Prestwick. For those who have not sampled that airport’s particular delights, shall we say that Prestwick regulars dream of the day when they can visit a smart and sophisticated airport such as Heathrow Terminal 2 or Charles de Gaulle. For those who have not visited any of these places, shall we say the décor looked good in 1967 and hasn’t changed since.
There were 4 check in desks open, one group at each, but no queues. I stood behind the Business check in and as soon as the people left, moved forward. For reasons known best to himself, the agent decided he had something better to do, and vanished He reappeared a few minutes later, checked me in and pointed me to the lounge (through security, turn left and it’s next to the Wheel of Fortune slot machines. Only in Vegas…)
Security was close by, up a short escalator and although there was no fast track, there was no queue and I was through in seconds. The promised slot machines appeared and I was soon entering the lounge.
It is not a bmi dedicated lounge, but entering it was like moving into another world. Lots of dark wood, and comfy seats, a nice view of the tarmac (and the bmi 330 that would soon take us back home) and a nice drink selection. Snacks were limited to packaged crisps nuts and the like, but were OK. McCarran Airport also offers free wi-fi so I spent a happy half hour surfing the web and doing emails until the flight was called. The gate was very close to the lounge and we were there in seconds. Unfortunately the communication between gate and lounge had broken down in some way and it was 10 minutes before we started boarding.
Once onboard, I arrived at my seat and was instantly offered a glass of champagne, quickly followed by an amenity kit. As we waited for take off, the aisles were patrolled by stewardesses armed with large open bottles of champagne, on a mission to fill the glass of anyone showing any sign of weakness and despite my protestations (honest) I’d had three glasses before pushback. Gold seat blocking had worked and I had 1K and it’s neighbour to myself in a cabin that was again around 75% full. Not sure how many op-ups that included, but it seems like a healthy loading.
We pushed back on time and were soon airborne. The captain had announced we would be flying over the Grand Canyon, so the first thirty minutes or so of the flight had me busy with camera, snapping away. While this was happening, I was supplied with more drink, and some Bombay mix, and the chef came around with the order for dinner. As I mentioned in the outbound report, I’d discovered that the bmi on-board chef is no gimmick and the food supplied is superior to almost everything I’ve eaten on planes.
I greeted the chef with a challenge. I told him that he had to work hard to meet the quality of the outbound food, and I was told “no problem” in very emphatic terms. I’m currently on another plane flying back to IAH as I write this, so I don’t have a menu to hand, but suffice it to say, it was another excellent menu.
The prawn tart I had as a starter was absolutely excellent, as was the chicken with parmesan. I followed with a blueberry bread and butter pudding which nearly caused a divorce when I got home because I uttered those suicidal words to my wife “better than yours”. We men will never learn. I watched some mindless pap on the IFE while eating. The bmi system would not keep you occupied for a very long flight, but is OK.
Although bmi do offer proper coffee from an espresso machine in the galley, I decided I wanted some sleep, so passed on that and crashed straight after the meal.
Now my biggest concern about flying bmi was the seat and the chance to get some sleep on an overnight flight, and I am pleased to report that I had no problem whatsoever. Although not lie flat, the seat is large, wide and soft and the footrest allows you to get into a nicely balanced position and give it some zzzs.
I’d set my watch to UK time on departure and woke at around 0630 after about 5½ hours solid sleep which is not bad for me. I then read for a little while, before breakfast arrived. The FA had asked me for my choice at dinner the night before and pig that I am, I went for the full English option. While it was being prepared, I went to the toilet and saw the chef with a bowl of raw eggs in the galley. I didn’t give that much thought, but was delighted to see a plate presented to me that had bacon, potato cake, sausage, tomato, mushroom and a fried egg, accompanied by two slices of toast. That was two firsts for me on one tray. I’d never been offered a fried egg on board (with a runny yolk to boot), nor fresh toast.
We soon started to descend and touched down in MAN about 20 minutes early. Immigration was a doddle, but MAN’s standards continue to slip and it took 20 minutes before baggage started to appear. The priority tags did work and my bags were some of the early ones off the flight.
I had a voucher for a light snack and shower at the Radisson, but my taxi was waiting, so I missed that and headed straight off.
bmi have a really quality product. The only problems I have with them is their limited long haul route network and the potential for disruption due to their limited fleet. However I would fly with them again tomorrow given the chance.

Kiwi Flyer

I disagree, thegoderic's writing is better than mine. Thanks for the latest instalments. Any chance of some more so that I have some reading matter for my next lot of 12 flights?

terpfan101

Great reports...few questions for you (or anybody who would like to jump in):

1. You mentioned having 2 WT+ and 2 CW trips...the one WT+ was opupped to CW when you came late in T4...how about the return? Did you pay for an upgrade? Or were you lucky for the 3rd time?

2. I always see you guys mention Kir Royale. Do they prepare it for you onboard? What sorts of drinks can you ask them to make for you?

3. Fraser mentioned having seconds of something off the menu once. Are they usually pretty willing to provide seconds (assuming there is availability)? I remember asking for both a bacon roll and a smoothie and muffin on a sleeper service flight last year and the very friendly FA gave me them. Is this the usual?

I was going to ask you to rate the flights/airlines and then realized that was probably you who did that. Thanks for your reports!

buck3y3nut

Excellent report. Great details...
Good work m8...

thegoderic

To answer your questions in order.

1. That was plan A when I started the thread. However, my travel plans changed significantly and the thread is now horribly mis-titled. I ended up changing myu return flight on teh WT+ trip and as a different budget was funding, I could upgrade myself to J.

2. They do make Kir Royales to order in J on BA. I think Kir and Kir Royale are probably the limit of their drink mixing abilities. You could try asking for a Martini in FIRST, but unles your name is Bond, James Bond I doubt of you'd get one.

3. Never asked for seconds so can't comment on that.

terpfan101

haha about being Bond to get a martini. I didn't think they were actually bartenders on board. Thanks for the answers though.