CMK10

Background
For the last three years I’ve been dragging myself through the painful drudgery of 21st Century Domestic Travel. Not only has this meant vanishing service, aloof staff and the same narrowbodies day in and day out, but I’ve been flying manly convoluted routings. Many times as I was connecting in places like New Orleans or Orlando or sitting on my third RJ of the day I asked myself what in God’s name was I doing? But finally, I’d amassed 260,000 miles and I was able to cash them in for two Oneworld 130K Business Class Awards. This would afford me to take some rare international travel and sample new airlines and long haul flights in International Business. To assist me in my rewarding journey, I used one ticket on my friend Josh from San Jose, CA and we agreed to meet in California on the evening of December 30. The next ten days would constitute “World Trip ‘06” which would hopefully be an experience that would make my having spent three hours at the L.C. Smith Terminal in Detroit worthwhile.

The Itinerary:
12/30: AA to San Jose
12/31: AA to London
1/1: BA to Rome
1/5: BA to Sao Paulo
1/7: RG to Rio de Janeiro
1/9: LA to Mexico City
1/10: AA to San Francisco
1/11: AA to Raleigh Durham

The Pictures
RDU-SJC:
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/world_...r=7b52&.src=ph
Aviation Trip Pics:
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/world_...r=a86f&.src=ph
Rome Pics:
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/world_...r=7ca3&.src=ph
Brazil Pics:
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/world_...r=663a&.src=ph
SJC-RDU:
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/world_...r=627b&.src=ph

The Disclaimer
This report is over 13,000 words in length, you may wish to gloss over certain parts of it.
Also, if you get the reference in the title, I shall be impressed.

Raleigh Durham to San Jose
AA RDU-DFW-PDX
AS PDX-LAX
AA LAX-SJC

Ordinarily I wouldn’t bother giving more than a brief description of this routine trip but I had some non-routine events happen. If one would think that with 22,457 miles of travel forthcoming I’d want a normal, short routing out to the West Coast but then one doesn’t know Charles M. Kunz. This should have been a normal trip to Portland with a pair of flights in the exit row during which I’d sleep and console myself that I’d have wide bodies tomorrow. However, as I was seated in the RDU Admirals Club sipping on an orange juice and trying not to fall back asleep, I was told my seat was needed in coach and given a boarding pass for 5A. The Agent even added “Sometimes it pays to be Platinum”.

After an enjoyable flight featuring cereal, sleep and pleasant conversation with my seatmate, I arrived in Dallas fresh as a daisy and ready for my next flight. After walking literally one gate over, I approached the desk to see if I could swap my exit row seat for a bulkhead seat when what to my wondering eyes did appear but “KUN/C” on the board under “Upgrade List”. Following the presentation of my new boarding pass for 4B, I enjoyed another breakfast meal (this time an omelet), a crossword puzzle and more sleep before arriving in Portland.

Once in Portland, I explored my 72nd airport and touched Oregon ground so I can claim I’ve been to the Evergreen State and then picked up my boarding pass for my flight to LAX. Luckily, I was in First Class again as I’d found two expiring Alaska upgrades on EBay for a reasonable price. At the gate I asked if there were any more seats in First Class and when I was told there were, I gave my second upgrade certificate to the agent and told him to upgrade someone he found nice. I was informed it was used on a woman and thanked profusely. The flight was extremely enjoyable as Alaska served a very tasty meal of chicken Caesar salad which was complimented by conversation from my seatmate, an American First Officer.

Once in Los Angeles I took a short bus ride to the satellite terminal which was followed by my first flight in coach of the day. This flight was also the least memorable of the day as of the 61 minutes we spent in the air; I was asleep for 51 of them.

Once in San Jose I was informed my checked bag had not made my connection and would be delivered to our hotel. After an unpleasant conversation with baggage services at SJC, I called AA Baggage Services and was told they had been informed I was staying in Los Angeles and were really glad I had called to inform them I was actually in San Francisco. After making Josh and I made our final preparations for the trip, we were driven up to our hotel. We went to bed that night at 11 PM with a large storm blowing rain against the windows of the San Francisco Airport Marriott and with visions of a long trip ahead of us.

Preflight
SATURDAY DECEMBER 31, 2005
American Flight 24
SFO-JFK
Scheduled Departure: 7:45 AM
Scheduled Board: 7:15 AM

I’m not the superstitious type who believes in omens, but this morning nearly made a believer out of me. While we were getting ready at 5:30, the hotel’s power failed and we were forced to grope our way about our darkened room trying to find our possessions followed by a trek down the fire stairs from the 9th floor. The hotel apologized to us and after collecting my delivered bag we were off to the airport. Despite the blowing wind and rain, we didn’t hit any snarls minus the fact that the drop off point was a 100 foot walk from the terminal. Therefore it would be with wet clothes and hair and slightly out of breath that we would start the trip.

Luckily, there was no line at the First Class check-in desk and after passports and itineraries were shown, we were presented with three boarding passes and a claim check a piece. The only bump in the process was when I asked for Premium Tags to be placed on our bags, the agent told me “we only do that for full fare passengers”, which I believe to be incorrect. However after some application of the patented Kunz Charm, I won him over and our bags were adorned with bright orange tags. After an easy waltz through security (traveling without a laptop has its perks) we were seated in the sparsely populated Admirals Club. Our wait there was short during which I tried to foist our extra drink coupons on other people but no one wanted alcohol it seems. Eventually we settled on an Irish Coffee for me and a Snapple to go for Josh. Once fortified thusly, we proceeded to gate 65 and boarded the first flight of many for our dance about the globe:

Flying
Gate 65
Seat 3A – First Class
767-300 – N367AA
Actual Board: 7:10 AM
Actual Depart: 7:52 AM – 7 Minutes Delayed
Take off 12 minutes after departure

Being a grizzled Frequent Flyer, I knew what to expect from the cabin, but it was quite fun to watch Josh, who hadn’t seen a Premium Cabin since Clinton was in office, (and he can’t remember which airline he was on) be amazed by the layout of the 763. While the plane filled to full capacity in First and near capacity in coach, we were offered water, Orange Juice or Sparkling Wine. Josh had earlier decided to match me drink for drink, so he selected the wine to catch up with my coffee. After a miniscule delay, we taxied out and took off and we were airborne for the first (but not nearly the last) time that week.

Once above the clouds, we viewed the sun for our first time in two days and it seemed the lighten the mood of the entire cabin. The flight attendants seemed to also be effected by its rays as they sprung into action quickly and displayed a sense of competence and a positive attitude that is so rarely seen these days. Unfortunately, due to the aforementioned power outage, one of the entrees was unable to be delivered and we were given a substitute omelet instead of the scheduled one. Therefore, no menus were distributed and orders were taken by hand. Still, everyone was addressed by name and drinks were distributed quickly so I took this small drawback in turn.

After ample time to sip a beverage and read an accidentally stolen copy of The San Francisco Chronicle (those “do not remove from Admirals Club” stamps are hard to see!) we received our appetizer tray. These consisted of a fruit plate with four slices of grapefruit and four of kiwi and a bread plate. However, before anyone aft of row 2 could receive their bread, the pilots told all flight attendants to sit down because of the upcoming turbulence. For twenty minutes we bounced about and for two minutes of it, I had to keep my hands over my glasses to prevent spillage. Finally, after it was safe to remain standing, the flight attendants went back to work coinciding directly with the bathroom stampede. Now that they were back up, I was offered a choice of biscuits, raspberry bread or lemon bread. Being me, I went straight for the biscuit.

While we progressed eastward at a rapid pace, entrée trays were brought to the hungry front cabin. I had selected a cheese omelet and I was rewarded with a decent sized omelet served with turkey sausage and breakfast potatoes mixed with onions. This is the same meal I had last year on a similar transcon and its now batting 2 for 2 as a damn fine meal. Josh, being the lactose intolerant and boring type, selected the cereal and yoghurt combo, but we love him still. During the entrée service, extra bread was offered to those who wished to have some which is always appreciated as no man can have too many biscuits.

After I’d been filled to capacity with airline food, I exercised my noodle while doing my best on the Chronicle’s Crossword. Midway through the flight, I took a stroll to the front of the cabin to use the bathroom and I committed my first infraction of the day when I knowingly congregated by the galley. With that weighing on my conscience, I spent the rest of the flight in a deep slumber. Upon waking up, we were on final descent and I was brought a cookie by the flight attendant which I munched as we sunk through the clouds into rainy New York. Imagine that, I fly 2,567 miles and the rain somehow follows me.
Scheduled Arrival: 4:04 PM
Actual Arrival: 3:58 PM
Gate: 44

Preflight/Transit
American Flight 100
JFK-LHR
Scheduled Departure: 6:30 PM
Scheduled Board: 5:45 PM

There was a time when I hated flying into JFK on American, especially if it was a domestic flight. While people would laugh at my “I swear they have the same carpet stains at gate 46 in 2005 that they had in 1995” quip, I wasn’t joking. However, with this wondrous new terminal American has installed, I could get used to fly here. It’s a pity I moved. The large gate areas, plethora of gate screens, new shopping and concessions and new Admirals Club combined to make Terminal 9 an enjoyable stopover point. My only complaint was that our time here was limited as after a half hour at the new Admirals Club, we departed the spacious terminal for its inferior older brother next door. The only thing I like about Terminal 8 is that my family has been utilizing that Admirals Club since before I was born. It was good to be back in its comfortable surroundings, though once again I had problems foisting drink coupons off on people as Josh and I were given six (!) at this Club.

After a half hour sitting in my usual spot, we headed back into the ramshackle terminal for the easy dance through security. The gate area where our flight had been marooned was the packed end of the concourse which featured simultaneously, the Paris, London and San Francisco flight. While our load was to be light, the other two flights were full and Josh and I “enjoyed” standing room only. Finally, the harried gate agents called First and Business to board:

Flying
Gate10
Seat 10J – Business Class
777-200 – N789AN
Actual Board: 5:57 PM
Actual Depart: 7:47 PM – 1 Hour 17 Minutes Delayed
Take off 41 minutes after departure

As I had stated previously, the load was to be light. The plane was booked with one in First, four in Business and seventy-five in coach. Unfortunately, while I had tried to sweet talk the gate agents into combining the Premium Cabins, I was met with no success. As it turned out, the lone traveler in First had a companion in coach and he got the Flight Attendants to let the two of them sit together in Business. Therefore, the crew cordoned off the First Cabin for their own use, pity. While this could mean we’d have a lethargic crew who would decide to punish those who made them work on a holiday, this was not the case. During boarding, Josh and I were entertained by a flight attendant who seemed very interested in our travels. She even brought Josh a Rum and Coke even though the alcohol was supposed to be locked up until takeoff. Annoyingly, despite the quick boarding, most of American’s crew had called in sick or taken the day off and due to the weather, baggage loading was extremely slow. Even after our very delayed pushback we had to join the line of over two dozen aircraft to take off.

Finally, after far too much time on the ground, we were free to enjoy our flight on this very premium route. During the delay, meal orders had been taken on the ground and once we were airborne, drinks orders were taken by hand and then delivered by tray. This, with the addition of the always tasty hot nuts got the airborne portion of the flight to a good start. Following the rapid beverage service, the appetizer trays were brought out. The menu showing what the first part of our meal would be is transcribed below:

To Start
Warm Mixed Nuts

Appetizer
Mojito Shrimp served with Pineapple and spiced Coconut

Salad
Fresh seasonal Greens with julienned Zucchini, Yellow bell Peppers, Button Mushrooms and Cherry Tomatoes offered with creamy Caesar Dressing or Olive Oil and Balsamic Vinegar.

The salad was extremely tasty as it featured twice as many vegetables than I’m usually used to on a plane. The two shrimp were…interesting as they tasted far too much of the coconut that was sprinkled upon them and the pineapples they were placed atop. However, it had been months since I’d had anything resembling a decent meal on a plane so I happily consumed everything served to me. Following the clearance of these trays, out came the entrees. I was offered a choice of an unprecedented five entrees. Apparently, this has been common practice on European routes for a while but I was happily surprised.

Entrees
- A signature Dish by Stephan Pyles: Cowboy Steak
Cowboy Beef Filet featured with Red Chili Onions and accompanied by Corn Bean Ragout
- Lamb Medallions
Lam Medallions enhanced by an Ale Tomato Sauce, offered with Mushroom Risotto, Butternut Squash and Haricots Verts.
- Chicken Madeira
Herb Chicken accented by a Madeira Demi-Glace, served with Potato Cheddar Gratin, Eggplant Confit and sautéed mixed vegetables
- Boursin Lasagna
Lasagna layered with roasted Red Pepper and Pesto Sauces, creamy Fines Herbs Boursin Cheese and Spinach topped with Red Pepper Strips
- Vegetable Plate
Seasonal Vegetables that include Grilled Yellow Squash, Sautéed Spinach, Sun-dried Tomatoes and Artichoke Bottoms with Chive Whipped Potatoes

After quickly eliminating the seafood and vegetable options as I rarely like either as an entrée on a plane, I had to choose between beef, chicken and lamb. However, as lamb is my favorite of all meats, my choice was obvious. As this wasn’t a restaurant, I wasn’t given the option of how I wanted my meat cooked so I ended up with a pretty tough piece of lamb. However, it was enjoyable enough and the rice it was served with was actually quite fluffy and tasty. Josh selected the chicken which was good, but the bizarre, cheesy potato concoction it came with was rather perplexing. Once our meals were done, there was only one last choice to make.

The Dessert Cart
Caciotta and Cheddar Cheese presented with seasonal Grapes and dried Apricots
Or
Dulce de Leche Ice Cream topped with a Turtle Brownie and Raspberry Sauce

Again, the choice was obvious as I won’t turn down ice cream without a very valid reason, and as this ice cream came with brownie chunks, I ordered it so fast that heads spun. After consuming this, I finished up a pair of CSI episodes on the PTV and then after informing our very competent flight attendant that I wished to be woken up for breakfast; I strapped on my eyeshade and drifted off to sleep. A little over three hours later, I was awoken by the only thing on this earth waking up to (besides a woman), food. Our flight attendant had nicely waited until there was forty-five minutes left in the flight before serving the last meal and for this, I thank her.

Breakfast
Continental Breakfast
Fresh Seasonal Fruit
From our breakfast cart: Yoghurt, Cereal, Assorted Breakfast Breads

As far as continental breakfasts go, its pretty hard to screw them up as there’s no cooking involved. However, the fruit was fresh and the bread fluffy, so I was a happy traveler. For the rest of the flight, Josh and I tried to shake off our disorientation while the sun made a feeble attempt to make itself known. After a smooth touchdown, we spent nearly twenty minutes sitting still waiting for our gate (as I’d predicted we’d have to when we were at JFK) before finally being allowed off the triple-7.
Scheduled Arrival: 6:35 AM
Actual Arrival: 8:03 AM
Gate: 318

Preflight/Transit
SUNDAY JANUARY 1, 2006
British Airways Flight 554
LHR-FCO
Scheduled Departure: 10:30 AM
Scheduled Board: 10:00 AM

I informed Josh that we would be beating feat rapidly towards immigration and customs as I know how long the lines can get in the morning. Thankfully, as we were armed with both fast track coupons and Charles’s knowledge of going fast, we were in a very short line to get our first passport stamps. After officially entering England, we wiled away half an hour at the Arrivals Lounge having a shower and a bite or two to eat. The walk to Terminal 1 was a long one but we moved quickly aided by a baggage trolley (such a better word than cart) and our quick pace.

Once in Terminal 1, we entered the secluded Club Europe/Club World Check-In. I informed the agent who reprinted our boarding passes that I’d never seen anything like this separate room for elite travelers. He seemed shocked and asked “you don’t have these in America?” When I said no he said “Well here in England we are very class conscious.” Ain’t that the truth. After moving through our dedicated security checkpoint and being allowed to keep my belt and shoes on, we entered the spacious Terminal 1 lounge. Being a veteran of Admirals Clubs and the rare Red Carpet Club, I was astonished by this lounge. It was huge with colorful seating, large bathrooms, a plethora of snacks and all the liquor one could consume. All the children were well behaved and there must have been twelve different newspapers for reading. I could get used to this European travel.

Having a long walk to our gate, we meandered out of the lounge at about 9:40. After garnering $20 worth of Fruit Pastilles, my favorite candy on this earth or any other, we trekked to our gate. A quick wait there in the sparsely populated departure lounge and we were onboard:

Flying
Gate 119
Seat 3A – Club Europe
A-319 – G-EUPJ
Actual Board: 10:02 AM
Actual Depart: 10:26 AM – 4 Minutes Early
Take off 11 minutes after departure

Had anyone been sitting in front of me during boarding they might have heard the audible thump of my knees hitting row 2 and a mumbled curse. After taking two flights with an average of 57.5 inches of pitch on them, British Airway’s cabin was tighter than a snare drum. However, the flight attendant working the Club Europe cabin made up for this lack of space by being extremely conscientious. Also, the middle seat between Josh and I was blocked and the flight was pretty empty so I wasn’t complaining. After a taxi of moderate length during which we were offered hot towels, we rocketed to the sky for this short, two hour flight.

Once in the air, a wonderful event occurred when the curtain behind me closed. I hadn’t seen a curtain in operation since I flew to London in August of 2001. This small touch had me feeling happy and the addition of an ELO CD to my CD player put a smile on my tired face. Shortly after takeoff, a small cart was trundled down the aisle and we were served drinks and weird pretzel like breadsticks. Once we’d had sufficient time to munch and sip, we were offered a choice of cold prawn salad or a chicken casserole. As I always prefer a hot meal to a cold one, I selected the chicken dish. Ultimately, this was a mistake as the chicken was pretty dry and after a few bites of it, I’d had enough. However, the potatoes also offered and the vegetables were all right and the sauce was…interesting. What made up for it was the presentation of the food on a two hour flight. The use of real glasses, real cutlery, thick napkins, expensive cheeses, grapes and crackers and chocolates for dessert made for a fine meal. Also, I was offered wine and when I selected a bottle of red, I was given a 166 mL bottle which was enough to pour two and a half glasses. It’s a good thing BA knew I wasn’t driving!

After the meal detritus was cleared and we were asked with sincerity how we’d enjoyed everything, there was a scant fifty minutes left to go. Josh did his best to sleep while I read through one of the London papers. The scenery was excellent for most of the trip including a picturesque view of the Alps. Sadly, the weather forecast for Rome wasn’t quite as pleasant and as we approached I could see the menacing cloud layer. However, our arrival was early and passport control was quick and painless. The best part was the Premium tags on our bag seemed to have worked and we were in Italy after a very pleasant New Year’s Day.
Scheduled Arrival: 1:55 PM
Actual Arrival: 1:38 PM
Gate: C23

January 1-5 -- Rome, Italy
We’re here, we’re sincere and I didn’t know about Josh, but I was extremely tired. To get into the city involved a 31 minute train ride during which I tried to stay awake using every ounce of energy I had left. After arriving at Rome’s Termini Station, we walked the half mile to the Hotel Canova which was to be our home for the next few days. It was located just off the Via Cavour and rendered us centrally located to everything we had planned. The first day was passed checking out our new hotel and having our first Italian meal which included anti-pasta and the best tiramisu I’ve ever had the pleasure to have noshed upon. After passing out around 8:30 we were ready to really start the trip.

After a lengthy twelve hours of sleep and a delectable continental breakfast on the top floor of our hotel, we were ready to carpe diem. Sadly, the forecast called for rain all day but our spirits would not be dampened. As Josh had been deemed Guide Book Boy (with a possible promotion to Guide Book Man if he was good), he outlined a four mile walking tour for us. This involved all the usual touristy spots including the Trevy Fountains, Spanish Steps, various churches and plazas as well as my first dish of Italian pasta during lunch. After many hours downtown, Josh indulged me and allowed a dinner at a Chinese Restaurant as I’m always on the lookout for Chinese.

The third day was to be God day which meant waiting in line for around 80 minutes to enter Vatican City. I didn’t mind because this was technically a new country. This day didn’t entertain me too much as I’m not the God Squad type and frankly, amazingly painted ceilings get old after a while. However, St. Pietro was outstanding as was the plaza in front of it. The walk back to the Metro involved walking through the moat of an old castle and strolling across an interesting outdoor shopping mall which was placed on a bridge over the Tiber River. That night we dined on seafood and I continued my goal to eat Italy out of pasta.

Our fourth and last full day was our Roman Culture day. This featured a trip to the Roman Art Museum featuring the world’s oldest art collection and also featured me yawning, but Josh enjoyed it. We spent the rest of the day walking through Roman ruins during which I said no fewer than fourteen times “If only I was still taking Latin, I’d know what this said”. After lunch at the a place claiming “the best pizza in Rome” we headed to the Coliseum which was my favorite part of the trip. The day finished with more ruins and more food, this time we split a bottle of red wine to close out our trip.

We finished up our last few hours seeing more churches, by this point I was all Godded-out, but it made Josh happy so I went along with only a nominal amount of complaints. When 1:40 rolled around, it was time to saddle our bags and walk back to Termini as our time saying “prego” was about over.

Preflight
THURSDAY JANUARY 5, 2005
British Airways Flight 559
FCO-LHR
Scheduled Departure: 5:00 PM
Scheduled Board: 4:30 PM

The trip back to the airport was a painless one, once we’d dodged a few panhandlers at Termini. The landside part of the airport was relatively easy to navigate, though finding the BA counters was a bit of a struggle as they were quite a walk from where we entered the terminal. After a short check-in time during which we were given two seats together on the 747 to GRU, we headed through security. Once again I reveled at not having to remove my shoes or belt and after a quick passport stamp; we were technically no longer in Italy. To celebrate this, we camped out at the Club Europe Lounge which was on par with the Kansas City Admirals Club, just with worse staff and more alcohol. The views out the windows were at least better as you don’t see Yemenia A-310’s at MCI.

After a half hour of sodas and complaining about the lack of food, we took the airport train over to the airside portion. Over there we pooled our last remaining Euro coins into some trinkets and admired the newly constructed terminal. Annoyingly, despite our 757 having been at the gate for quite some time, we suffered an unexplained twenty minute boarding delay. Once we were called to board, I made the mistake of nodding at a State Police Officer who decided to search my bag. Once he’d deemed I wasn’t an international jewel thief, I was allowed to board:

Flying
Gate C20
Seat 5A – Club Europe
757-200 – G-BPEJ
Actual Board: 4:50 PM
Actual Depart: 5:22 PM – 22 Minutes Delayed
Take off 21 minutes after departure

After our last BA inter-Europe flight, I was expecting another enjoyable one. Sadly, from the beginning, I knew this flight would be disappointing. First off, the aircraft was outfitted in a barebones type format as I’ve never seen a 757 before that didn’t have televisions. Secondly, this flight was going to be nearly full and as we were in the last row of Club Europe with Euro Traveler right behind us, we were in a weird purgatory where it didn’t see as if we were in either class. After a lengthy boarding followed by a lengthy taxi during which the flight attendants didn’t seem to want to smile as much as the outbound ones had wanted to, we finally took to the skies.

Once in the air, the service seemed more rush then last time as I barely had time to mix my Scotch and Coke before I was asked if I wanted “Prawn Curry or Chicken Salad”. Once again, I went for the hot option and this time I was extremely pleased. The mix of prawns, rice, vegetables and curry sauce was one of the better airborne entrees I’ve had in a while. Once again I was offered cheeses and crackers with grapes and again the cheeses were too frou-frou for my taste, but I appreciated them just the same. The best part was the dessert which was a cream and custard type pudding concoction that was deliciously sweet. Sadly, with the collection of the meal trays without a smile or “you’re welcome” and certainly without the “was everything all right?” of the last flight, the service ended. Despite there being another hour to go, the flight attendants hid in the gallies and I felt as if I was flying American on a STL-LGA segment, not a supposed world airline. At least on American my seat wouldn’t have been so cramped. As annoying as this was, there was only an hour to go and soon we’d touched down at Heathrow and plodded to our gate.
Scheduled Arrival: 6:50 PM
Actual Arrival: 7:10 PM
Gate: 128

Preflight/Transit
British Airways Flight 247
LHR-GRU
Scheduled Departure: 9:10 PM
Scheduled Board: 8:40 PM

The travel of January 5th continued to not go smoothly as we arrived with a few other European flights and the fast-track lane closed at 6 PM. Therefore, we had a twenty minute wait for a passport check and security screening before we rode a packed bus over to Terminal 4. Once there we learned our gate would be the last one at the end of the five gate pier and a fifteen minute walk from the lounge. Even so, we had enough time to take quite the shower and call home from the packed lounge. After checking that there was no more space on the upper deck (Josh’s idea, not mine, I didn’t want to be up there) we made our long trek over to our gate. By the time we’d gotten to the end of the peer which I think is located in Leeds, they’d boarded over half our passengers. What greeted us was an extremely long line of passengers. Thankfully, a gate agent was saying “Anymore First or Business passengers?” and we surged forward to be allowed onto:

Flying
Gate 425
Seat 19K – Club World
747-400 – G-CIVY – Olympic Bid Signatures Aircraft
Actual Board: 8:40 PM
Actual Depart: 9:11 PM – 1 Minute Delayed
Take off 22 minutes after departure

Previously the idea of sitting backwards on a moving conveyance was limited to Metro North trains from Rye to Grand Central. However, today I would break the norm and sit with my ... to the front and face to the back, how bizarre. After sitting down, Josh and I began to fiddle with our seats as a seat featuring electronic controls and hidden compartments were new to him and still foreign to me. During our time on the ground, the flight attendant conversed in a friendly fashion with us and kept pre-departure drinks flowing. I thought early on we’d have a nice flight after she volunteered to take a picture of us together, but sadly, appearances would be deceiving. The taxi out felt a bit strange to me as we pushed front instead of back and then taxied backwards (at least my body told me that’s what we were doing) all the way to the runway. Also, in Business and First we were required to watch the safety video on our PTV, I’ve never been allowed to have mine unlatched during taxi so it was quite surreal. After the standard long Heathrow taxi we rocketed into the sky and for forty seconds I felt like I was being pitched out of my seat.

Once airborne, I could no longer tell I was sitting the wrong way which was just as well as this was to be my third longest flight of all time. As we continued to climb out, I fiddled with the PTV and used it to play games (the crosswords were ridiculously easy) until they started the first video cycle during which I flicked on “The Island” which had been recommended to me by my trusted brother James. As I sat watching, I was treated to a Diet Coke and a pack of cashews. I would have preferred hot nuts, but I was too hungry not to accept anything they gave me. Meal orders were then taken and I selected the crayfish appetizer and the steak entrée. Josh wanted the steak as well and was told they were running out and she’d bring him one if they had it, but if they didn’t he’d have to take a second choice. Luckily for him, they didn’t run out. The appetizer trays came out shortly afterwards and featured:

Starters
Crayfish tails with pink grapefruit
Or
Roast red onion, rocket and Feta cheese salad

Fresh seasonal salad served with vinaigrette

The salad was a bit tasteless as it featured organic greens with a vinaigrette dressing and all that could be tasted was said vinaigrette. However, the crayfish, something I’d never had before, was extremely enjoyable. Luckily, Josh being the picky eater he is, disliked his and I was treated to more. This was also served with rolls which were annoyingly cold and a glass of wine. They had not loaded the wine I requested from the menu and I ended up with a California Red that was pretty bad. Also, I kept requesting more Diet Cokes and my requests were usually forgotten about or I was given a half full glass of warm liquid. No ice or a can was given and the glasses were so small that I got one swallow at best. Even so, I was happily awaiting the entrée. There were four choices as outlined below:

Main
- Grilled fillet steak, red wine sauce, butter bean mash and roast root vegetables
- Poached salmon with an asparagus veloute
- Penne pasta with tomato basil sauce and Mozzarella cheese
- Spicy chicken with coriander, mango salad and lemon dressing

At first when they gave me the steak still in its plastic tray I thought it was some form of a joke. Sadly, it was not. I was given a piece of beef roughly the size of a garage door opener that was as tough as a shoe. The potatoes it was served with where tasteless but these were not as bad as the steamed vegetables which tasted like water. The rolls were again cold and my glass was empty making this meal very disappointing. The service had also ceased to be handled with any friendliness as it was done in a mechanical fashion and I could practically hear the F/A thinking “the sooner they eat, the sooner I sleep”. The meal was partially redeemed by dessert which featured:

Dessert
- Baked rhubarb and vanilla cheese cake
- Hereford Hop and Brie cheese
Chocolates

The cheesecake was actually really good (here’s to my first time having rhubarb) and the port was actually excellent, especially after the garbage red wine. The chocolates were the final nice touch and then the tray disappeared with the flight attendants. As I sat finishing the movie, I began to become more and more irked with the service. Club World passengers received no special headsets and while I had brought my Bose QC1 Noise Canceling Headsets, Josh was S.O.L. and using the poor plastic ones they’d provided. While the seat went to a full flat position, it was hard to find a comfortable position between full upright and full flat in which I could watch a movie. When I finished my movie, I reclined to full flat and the seat was so narrow, unless I was on my side, I was extremely uncomfortable. Because of this, I was only able to eek out three hours of sleep after which time I decided I wasn’t going to lie uncomfortably any more and I went back to movie watching.

While I sat watching the 1968 classic “Bullitt”, I realized I was the only one awake in the lower cabin. Even so, no one came by to see if I needed anything. Finally, I pressed the call button and requested an Orange Juice. During the next two hours, no one came back to see if I wanted a refill and the empty glass sat on my tray table until the breakfast service later on. As we continued west, Josh woke up and the two of us took a little walk up to the upper deck where he gazed at what could have been. I was still happy not to have been up there. By the time we got back to our seats, there was a scant 2 ½ hours to go which left just enough time to watch “Lord of War” while we ate the last meal service of the flight.

Starters
- Chilled freshly squeezed orange juice
- An energizing fruit smoothie of strawberries and bananas
Fresh seasonal fruits
Or
Birchermuseli

As I am not a European, I have never had Muesli before so I decided I had to give it a dance. What I had was…interesting as it was a new taste sensation for me and not one I really want to relive. However, the breakfast breads were plentiful and the wakeup beverage very tasty. The next part of the service was the better part.

Bakery
Selection of warm breads and breakfast pastries

Main
- Our classic British breakfast of scrambled eggs, grilled bacon, pork sausage, mushrooms and tomato
- Poached haddock and salmon kedgeree
- Buttermilk and sultana pancakes with blueberry compote

I selected the pancakes and ended up with an interesting mix of tastes between the breading and the blueberries, though I am not sure what a “compote” is. At this point the drinks were flowing better and I got two cups of coffee which helped to slacken the fatigue, though I would have sold Josh into slavery for a shower by that point. The descent was interesting as the whole plane seemed to make their way to the bathroom one last time while I once again remembered I was going backwards. We descended through the early morning murk and my window became so fogged up I was unable to see anything once we touched the ground at Sao Paulo. Following our exit form the plane, Josh and I noticed we had been on the Olympic Bid aircraft which was adorned with hundreds of signatures for the 2012 London Bid. Damn those signatures as I’m sure they’re the reason New York didn’t get the games! I was able to stew on that piece of knowledge as we waited in a 45 minute line for immigration followed by a 30 minute one for customs. Finally, we were in Brazil and free to enjoy our first trip to South America.
Scheduled Arrival: 6:40 AM
Actual Arrival: 6:44 AM
Gate: 10

January 6-7 -- Sao Paulo, Brazil
After a taxi ride through a city the likes of which I had never seen, we were deposited at the Intercontinental Sao Paulo. Apparently Josh’s parents felt that because I’d sprung for the tickets for their darling son, the least they could do was purchase the Brazil hotels using their points. I was much obliged, especially because the Intercontinental turned out to be so empty that we were automatically upgraded to the Club Floor. Luckily, they allowed us to check in and have our rooms at 9 AM and we wearily rode the elevator up to our room where we had an amusing conversation with the bellman.

Charles: What’s the high temperature going to be today?
Bellman: Oh, about 6 PM

Talk about lost in translation. After a well deserved nap and shower, we hit the town for a very leisurely day. We took in the MASP or Sao Paulo’s Art Museum which is also the largest Art Museum in South America (I was starting to gag on all the culture) before we walked around the business district and gazed at the banks making money by the hour. Following that, we lounged around the pool before dinner at a churrascaria which was one of the greatest food experiences of my life. After a nightcap at the hotel featuring the very potent National Drink of Brazil (sugarcane liquor, limes and sours) and my first Cuban cigar, we dropped into bed.

The next day we stashed our bags with the hotel staff and then hit downtown Sao Paulo. Josh organized a walking tour featuring a large outdoor market, a mall and various historical buildings. It was 80 degrees and I was sweating in my jeans, but the tour presented us with some interesting culture and a slice of what Sao Paulo life was like. This city was like nothing else I’d ever seen; it was rather dirty and was so absolutely crammed with people. When I called my Dad he said “how are you enjoying the sprawl?” which is probably the best way to say it. After a final trip on the Metro, we collected our bags and headed out to Guarulhos.

Preflight
SATURDAY JANUARY 7, 2005
Varig Flight 2375
GRU-GIG
Scheduled Departure: 6:10 PM
Scheduled Board: 6:25 PM

While I could have flown this sector on a Oneworld airline or American affiliate, I chose to pay out of pocket for Varig so I could finally tame the wild MD-11, an aircraft that had been eluding me for too long. Also, it would be nice to use my Star Gold status one last time before it expired. Once at the airport we joined the non-existent Star Gold/Class Executiva line where we were helped by a very competent agent. It did my heart proud that in both Italy and in Brazil, the locals spoke to me first in the local language so my efforts to blend in were going splendidly. After I presented my Star Gold card, the agent moved Josh and I from our coach seats to ones in Business Class which would also be operated as coach, but at least the legroom was better. The check-in process with Varig was by far the best of the trip as Priority tags were affixed promptly, boarding passes were offered with a smile and the agent was extremely competent.

Boarding passes in hand, we entered the Varig Domestic Lounge which is bizarrely located outside of security. Now, if the FCO Club Europe Lounge resembled the MCI Admirals Club, this lounge resembled the time I played Airline Lounge in my living room with my little siblings. The seating was poor and uncomfortable, food was limited to bad cookies and tasteless sandwiches and the bathrooms were no better than the terminal. The agents working there were also extremely unhelpful as they preferred to chatter amongst themselves then help me when I had a query. Eventually we chose to head to the gate as our stay at the lounge was no better than it would be with the common folk. Once at the gate we had to suffer our delayed inbound arrival during which no announcements were made. Eventually our Douglas widebody bellied up to the gate and after the passengers arriving from Fortaleza disembarked, we were cleared to board:

Flying
Gate 21
Seat 6H – Main Cabin
MD-11 – PP-VTK
Actual Board: 6:10 PM
Actual Depart: 6:37 PM – 27 Minutes Delayed
Take off 12 minutes after departure

As soon as my feet touched the inside of the aircraft I felt as if I was back on my favorite aircraft. Sadly, this was not a DC-10, but it was as close as I was going to get for the time being. Once we entered, Josh made his first fabled left turn into a Premium Cabin, though this cabin was more like Premium Economy than anything else. Annoyingly, the only seats we could get together in Executive Class were in the middle and as my status got us here, I ordered Josh to take the middle while I got the aisle. As I sat down it was a noticeable comedown from BA and even from…gasp…AA. The seats had a decent amount of legroom, but an extremely poor amount of recline and a useless footrest. They were more akin to the old United 762 Business Class seats than anything you’d want to find on a jet that reaches the United States. This was my first time not sitting in the window or the aisle next to the window in years so the taxi out was very strange for me and the takeoff came to me as a surprise because I wasn’t sure when taxiway ended and runway began.

After takeoff they played an old Simpson’s video on the main screen TV which was humiliatingly small for a Business Class cabin. Meanwhile, I played with my seat and its manual controls operated by silver push buttons like a coach seat and read a book. The service consisted of a single plastic cup of water or OJ and after my single OJ; I took a walk up to the First Class galley and bathroom and despite what the agent back at GRU had told me, one F seat was empty. For a minute I sat in luxury as I fiddled with the seat which was equipped with a button to control the air jet which allowed the user to put it into “Off”, “Lo” or “High” positions…the poshness was astounding. After my trip back to Slumland, we began the descent into Rio which I’m sure was picturesque but marooned in the center I saw nothing more than the bulkhead. Once on the ground we were forced to utilize a hard stand which I didn’t mind as the trip down a stair truck from a widebody is always a peach.
Scheduled Arrival: 7:10 PM
Actual Arrival: 7:28 PM
Gate: 30R

January 7-9 -- Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
After having the orgasmic feeling of my bag being the first off the baggage belt (Josh’s was second, I win), we headed out into the Brazilian night and rode another cab to our hotel. This time our domain was to be the J.W. Marriott (thanks Papa Josh) and after the Intercontinental, I was disappointed. We were informed at check-in that the hotel was overbooked and so we would not have the personal attention we’d enjoyed in Sao. Furthermore, our room faced an interior courtyard, using an internet computer cost the US equivalent of $13 for fifteen minutes and the concierge was unhelpful and wrong on their directions. However, I didn’t pay a dime so I kept my complaints to a manageable level. Our night merely consisted of dinner at the hotel bar and a very enjoyable swim at the rooftop pool before blessed sleep.

As we were to only have one day in Rio, we decided to make it a full one. Breakfast was obtained at a nearby Café while Charles watched every girl in a bathing suit go by before we headed over via Metro to our first waypoint, the picturesque Sugarloaf Mountain. While I am not one for heights, I was able to survive the cable car rides which were made worth it by the brilliant views. We also saw monkeys which everyone enjoyed until I had to go and spoilt it by saying in a loud voice “My Dad shot a monkey once” (a Collabus Monkey in Ethiopia in 1999 to be exact). After that, I took my negative attitude off the mountain for the trip across the city to Corcavado Mountain. Once there, we rode the train up the large hill to view Cristo Redentor in all his glory. The sight of people praying there was quite amusing though I can’t say I was moved by a giant statute of Jesus, after all the idolatry I saw in Rome, I was a bit Jesused out.

As there were no more mountains left to climb, we prepared to do what I had been waiting all trip for, hitting the beach. This involved a wonderful hour in which I got knocked over by countless waves to which Josh claimed I had the “palest ... on the beach” (the stupid wave knocked my shorts a bit lower than I wanted). While he swam, I guarded our stuff and checked out the local scenery if you catch my drift. Seriously, I have a five year visa; I am coming back and learning enough Portuguese to get one of these women to be seen in public with me. After a dinner at some local cafeteria style place our hotel recommended (we were feeling cheap by this point) we caught as much sleep as we could before another long travel day.

Preflight
MONDAY JANUARY 9, 2005
LAN Chile Flight 755
GIG-GRU
Scheduled Departure: 8:10 AM
Scheduled Board: 7:40 AM

I was not in a good mood this morning. I had to get up early (bad start), to leave a city I had really enjoyed (worse) and when I got to the airport, I was really irked. It turned out that LAN required all the passport information to be entered into their system and their scan device didn’t seem to be working, so the agent who didn’t have the best grasp of English manually entered every detail from our passports as Josh and I read it to her. Then I found out that while I had been informed at time of booking that this was to be a single class A-320 there would indeed be a Business Class cabin. My pleas at an upgrade were rejected as they seemed convinced I was flying on a coach ticket. They also seemed to have some real difficulty moving us to the exit row as they couldn’t understand that Josh was content with the aisle with me in the window with a stranger sandwiched between us. In fact, the agent refused to allow this and after twenty minutes in front of her, I’d had enough and we headed through security.

Our wait once in the airside portion of this dilapidated terminal was the GIG Admirals Club which was the best lounge I’d seen since Heathrow. The agent working was extremely competent as he helped me use the phone to call LAN reservations to finally get our exit rows set up. The food selection wasn’t the best but the chocolate muffins went nicely with the several juice options available. We headed off early so Josh could try and find some sinus medicine while I waited at the gate for the agent who was to have our new boarding passes. Ironically, it was the agent from the counter who I greeted with a withering glare, no one who tells me their airline won’t allow two people to sit in the aisle and window with neither in the middle gets a smile this early in the morning. Soon after Josh rejoined me they called boarding for:

Flying
Gate 8
Seat 10L – Main Cabin – Exit Row
A-320 – CC-COD
Actual Board: 7:47 AM
Actual Depart: 8:03 PM –7 Minutes Early
Take off 9 minutes after departure

My mood lightened somewhat when I read the hilarious exit row instructions which featured the phrase “Asses whether opening the window would increase hazards to which passengers may be exposed”. This coupled with the fact that we’d have a scant 31 people on board to Sao Paulo made for an enjoyable flight. The service provided actually beat out Varig’s as we received a cookie in addition to an apple juice box. The flight passed as quickly as the one out here did though this time because I was next to the window I was able to watch Rio sink below our wing and the sprawl of Sao Paulo come out of the green ground before we landed back in the exact place we’d left barely two days ago.
Scheduled Arrival: 9:10 AM
Actual Arrival: 9:02 AM
Gate: 25

Preflight
LAN Chile Flight 755
GRU-SCL
Scheduled Departure: 10:00 AM
Scheduled Board: 9:30 AM

My last one-stop was five years ago when I flew KLM from Kilimanjaro to Amsterdam via Dar es Salaam. Back then we were forced to get off the plane while it was serviced but this time, we were told our waiting area would be this Airbus-320. While we waited, I took a walk around the sparsely populated plane and was sadly informed by the lone English speaking Flight Attendant that the next flight would be 100% full, blast. After twenty-five minutes standing in the aisles talking, people began to filter in for:

Flying
Gate 25
Seat 10L – Main Cabin – Exit Row
A-320 – CC-COD
Actual Board: 9:30 AM
Actual Depart: 9:59 AM –1 Minute Early
Take off 28 minutes after departure

Unfortunately, the flight attendants prediction was accurate and the plane filled up to 100% capacity. This included a girl on her way to Buenos Aires who seated herself between us. After five minutes of Josh and I leaning forward to talk to each other, she asked us if one of us wanted to switch with her. I don’t think she liked my answer of “Oh no, you’re not getting out of the middle that easily” as she didn’t say anything else to us the rest of the way. After an early departure, we were faced with the reality that GRU was packed and that we were in a very long line for departure. Finally, after nearly half an hour’s wait, we rocketed to the sky and began the three and a half hour trek to Chile.

After we had reached our altitude, the Flight Attendants began their service. I must say, it was nice to get a hot meal in coach on this short a flight. The length of this flight is equivalent to SEA-DFW on American and when I last took that flight, I paid $3 for a box of barely edible crap. What I was served on LAN was a cheese and tomato omelet served with a few potatoes, two rolls, a fruit bowl containing honeydew, oranges and grapes as well as decent coffee and a stiff Diet Coke. The entire meal was very tasty and I polished off my first free coach meal since mid-2004. Once the food detritus was cleared away, I settled in for an hour’s worth of napping before spending the rest of my flight combining rock music (thanks Fleetwood Mac) with my book. Once Josh woke up, we talked as the ground finally rose up to catch our shiny A-320. After a quick taxi we were in SCL, but technically not Chile.
Scheduled Arrival: 1:10 PM
Actual Arrival: 1:00 PM
Gate 11

Preflight/Transit
LAN Chile Flight 622
SCL-MEX
Scheduled Departure: 2:10 PM
Scheduled Board: 1:40 PM

I had been hoping we’d park at a hard stand so my feet could touch solid ground and I could claim I’d visited Chile, but it was not to be. The transit process here was extremely annoying as we had to wait for a single agent to inspect our documents and the metal detectors weren’t working so we were treated to a quick inspection of our pocket contents and baggage before we were let back into the sterile area, though I didn’t exactly feel sterile. Once upstairs, we passed by our gate and gazed at our large 767 before seeking out the LAN lounge. I’d been informed by a contact that this lounge was excellent and worth visiting. Because it had been so hyped up, we passed by the more convenient Crown Room and Admirals Club both of which we could have entered for the LAN lounge.

Annoyingly, like so many other things in life that I’ve been told I “gotta see”, I was disappointed. The lounge was on the ground floor so the views weren’t the best and the seating was anything but ample. The drink selection was the most redeeming factor as there was a lot of alcohol but other than a few sandwiches and other snack like items I found nothing special. The bathrooms and business areas were equally not amazing and I curse the person who told me about this brilliant oasis that wasn’t. The final insult was that the desk staff was not as helpful as I like but our time there was short because after a few minutes we were able to walk back to the gate and stroll aboard:

Flying
Gate 19
Seat 6L – Business Class
767-300 – CC-CZW
Actual Board: 1:40 PM
Actual Depart: 2:15 PM –5 Minutes Delayed
Take off 12 minutes after departure

After the long A-320 ride back in coach, I was ready for a return to the lap of luxury. As if sensing this, the purser made himself available to Josh and I as soon as we took our seats in the back of the cabin and greeted us. After his personalized greeting had been extended, he offered us a drink from a tray which included water, champagne and some odd looking gray substance. He informed us the Drano-like beverage was the national drink of Chile and we should try it, who was I to say no? Unfortunately, the drink was like liquid fire and it burned all the way down. I managed to finish mine as it wasn’t too bad once you got used to it, but Josh couldn’t seem to drink any more than half. Once the glasses were collected, we pushed back and took off into the brilliant sun filled afternoon with my insides feeling hot all the way through.

As we continued to climb, the movie cycle started on the PTVs and Josh and I both tuned into “Batman Begins” while we waited for the service. The service was supposed to start with drinks and mixed nuts, however, as we were in 6J and L, the flight attendants didn’t appear to notice us. I had to ask one of them for drinks and he didn’t have the best grasp of English so he didn’t bring us our nuts. As it turned out, we had to tell the purser who delivered them at the same time as we got our appetizers. This was a new experience for me on an airplane; I’ve never been outright skipped before. The appetizer choices are below; both Josh and I had ordered the salad.

Appetizers
- A Great Flavor
Serrano ham served atop grilled eggplants and green olives marinated in olive oil.
- Comforting and Fresh
Fresh corn cream with fine herbs
- Fresh Garden Salad
Fresh seasonal greens served with your choice of olive oil with balsamic vinegar or creamy dressing

The salad was one of the better ones I’ve been presented with on an airplane as it was not only of a substantive size, but it also featured a large amount of vegetables including baby corn, the likes of which I had not seen on an airplane before. The dressing was also extremely tasty and once the crew had decided that there was indeed a 6J and L and yes the people sitting there wanted to eat, we received rolls to go along with the appetizer. Once our trays were collected, we received the entrees. Josh and I had both decided to go with the last option.

Main Entrée
- Grilled Filet of Beef
Grilled filet of beef medallion served with Camenere wine sauce and fresh mushrooms, accompanied by celeriac puree and mixed vegetables sautéed with cilantro.
- Pacific Sea Bass
Pot roasted fillet of Pacific sea bass, served with soy sauce, sesame and ginger au jus, accompanied by creamy potato gnocchi and steamed asparagus.
- Our Pasta
Tortellini filled with chicken and fresh mushrooms, served with fresh tomato sauce with capers, Azapa olives and Parmesan cheese.

Here comes a shocking statement, I’ve had been tortellini in Domestic Coach…with United! There I said it, this attempt at pasta was overcooked and tasteless and all the salt in the world couldn’t save the dish. However, the wine it came with was decent and it helped to block out the taste, as did the rolls that were remarkably warm. I like to think positively so I’m convinced this bland and disappointing entrée was only that way so I could be ready for the dessert of a lifetime.

Our Dessert
- Merringue cake filled with “lucuma” and home made “Dulce de Leche”
Or
- Fresh seasonal fruit

This is the stuff food related dreams are made of. Creamy, soft, sweet and amazingly sweet, I never wanted this pastry to end. Josh decided to be stupid and eat the fruit and he missed out on the best dessert I’ve ever had on an airplane, hands down. Because of the salad and the dessert, LAN wins the award for best overall meal on the trip, though the lamb from the JFK-LHR flight days past was the best entrée and the crayfish was the best appetizer overall. With this sweet concoction starting to digest itself, I reclined the seat and finished the movie. When there was no more Christian Bale action to be had, I switched over to the CDs on demand the PTV had and listened to Pure 80’s, a rocking collection of 80’s tunes the likes of few have experienced.

A note on the entertainment system, the movies were on demand in the sense that you could start them whenever you wanted to, but the on demand nature stopped there. The CDs they had on the system were on demand in the sense that they had pause and track skipping features. There were also a few games that I fiddled with, but they couldn’t be used with the CDs. After my CD ended there was around four hours left to go and I chose to watch my first ever episode of CSI: Miami while Josh watched Wallace and Grommet. This was interspliced with the reading of my book and the playing of a few games. While the seat was very comfortable as it was similar to an American Business Class seat but with electronic controls, the service dropped off to being non existent between the meal services. I had to press my call button or get up if I wanted a drink and the glasses would remain there for a half hour until a crew member snatched them up without asking if I wanted a refill. As irksome as this was, I was getting used to it by now.

When we were two and a half hours to go, the crew members came out and began the second meal service. I found this timing extremely bizarre as usually these services come with an hour or so left, not with over two hours, but I don’t turn down food. This service was actually quite enjoyable as they followed a KISS (Keep it Simple Stupid) philosophy and served us a meal consisting of simple ingredients that was quite tasty.

Snack Sandwich
Gourmet Sandwich Selection
Pastrami sandwich, Edam cheese and lettuce served on country bread with olive butter

Warm ham and roasted tomato sandwich served on white homemade bread with honey butter

This was capped off with four pieces of cantaloupe and four of honey dew and oddly served with black poppy seed bread and juice. The meal was specifically labeled as being served with juices and coffee and while the Apple Juice was good, I would have preferred my standard Diet Coke. The two sandwiches were high quality in terms of sandwiches, though I wouldn’t call them gourmet. After I had polished off my meal, the trays were collected and the flight crew disappeared to do whatever they do in that galley of theirs. However, I was full and we’d been traveling for so many days that getting angry had gotten old. I contented myself with watching the sun set next to the right engine and stealing peaks at the air map until we glided in for a smooth touchdown at Benito Juarez International Airport.
Scheduled Arrival: 7:40 PM
Actual Arrival: 7:44 PM
Gate: 43

Annoyingly, we had no gate and we ended up being hard standed and bussed to the terminal via a mobile lounge that would have made John Foster Dulles proud. Once at the terminal, we joined the line for Immigration that stretched back out of the customs hall and took over an hour and a half to reach the front of. By this point, Josh was sick, tired and annoyed and while I am not bothered by long lines, he does not share my enthusiasm. I merely read my book and entertained his complaints until we’d cleared customs (to do so you have to press a button on a traffic light, if it goes green you leave, if it goes red, they search you, apparently its “random”) and went to find our shuttle bus. The landside part of this airport was the worst I have ever seen in any airport. There are no signs, the help is poor at best and everyone seems to be pressuring you to ride a taxi. There were also panhandlers, something I’ve never seen at an airport before. Eventually we found our shuttle bus and went to our hotel.

We spent the night at the Holiday Inn Salvador Dali which was painted all in yellow and was a pleasant enough place to spend one night. Though the booklet in the room said “no visitors allowed after 10” so there went our plan to order up some local hookers. After an easy night’s sleep, we awoke to begin the last legs of our trip.

Preflight
TUESDAY JANUARY 10, 2005
American Flight 2272
MEX-DFW
Scheduled Departure: 9:30 AM
Scheduled Board: 8:45 AM

Had we taken this trip one day later we would have taken LAN’s flight up to Los Angeles and not had to stay a night any where. However, I was happy with this plan as I’d never been to Mexico before and now I have…thanks yield management Gods for not having any seats on the January 9th SCL-LAX flight! As we took the bus back to the airport, I realized that today was going to be my harsh return to reality. Gone would be the menus, PTVs and international crews. Back were the MD-80’s, domestic food offerings and US lounges. However, I am always one to be easily resigned to my fate, so I prepared myself to be underwhelmed.

Once we arrived at the airport, I braced myself for navigating a place more confusing and crowded than the New York Department of Motor Vehicles. Luckily, we managed to find the American counters without too much difficulty and after having our bags inspected for drugs (they found none) we were allowed to check-in and our check our bags. I made a feeble attempt to ask for Premium tags on the bags but I was told rather coldly that only passengers leaving the US on international routings got those…rats. After a quick trip through security, we walked to the Admirals Club which was right next to where we’d cleared customs the other night, but over half a mile from where I gate was to be…just my luck. The Club turned out to be one of the better I’ve been to as it was paneled nicely in dark wood and had a large amount of seating and the best breakfast spread I’ve seen at a US Airline’s lounge. There was a choice of cheese quesadillas with salsa, two kinds of finger sandwiches, breads and doughnuts. Not the best buffet on earth, but good for an Admirals Club.

After an appropriate amount of snacking, we made our way back to the gate. Several US flights had been marooned at the end of the concourse in this cul-de-sac of poorly designed proportions. It featured a large amount of seats in the middle of the room that were mostly filled surrounded by cramped gate areas and a plethora of shops. I took up seating near our gate while Josh shopped and minutes after he found those last souvenirs, they called Business Class for:

Flying
Gate 36
Seat 4A – Business Class
MD-80 – N462AA
Actual Board: 9:03 AM
Actual Depart: 9:28 AM –2 Minutes Early
Take off 20 minutes after departure

I’ve always found MD-80s to be small, cramped and unenjoyable aircraft but entering one today after my previous aircraft had been a roomy 767-300 was particularly unbearable. However, I was going back to my home country after a successful trip and I was in the front cabin, so I bore the small aircraft. In some ways, it was nice to get back aboard my airline with its familiar features including that big Eagle by the forward galley and the American accents that I had only heard from the mouths of Josh and myself recently. As we sat waiting to depart, we were offered pre-flight drinks, though those in rows 5 and 6 didn’t receive them as we pushed back a bit earlier than expected. As we taxied out, Josh and I noticed that one of the Flight Attendants was sporting a prosthetic limb, something I’ve never seen before.

After a long taxi, I was back in the air and ready to go to a place where I could use my Driver License for ID instead of my passport. Thankfully, after my long trend of disappointing flights, I’d ended up back on an enjoyable one. The flight attendant upfront must have been advised that the passenger in 4A liked constant attention, mainly via lots of drinks, as he brought out our beverages early. I hadn’t had a Cran-Apple in over a week and the sweet liquid was ever so enjoyable this morning. Shortly following that, I was offered either a cheese omelet or Rice Krispies to which I selected the hot entrée. While I had been expecting the AA domestic omelet, I received instead a cheese and pepper omelet served with large potato wedges and Canadian bacon. This was served with a fruit bowl featuring grapefruit, cantaloupe, strawberries and kiwi and this bizarre round pink fruit that tasted like nothing else on this earth, and I mean that in a bad way. The meal was rounded out by a choice of croissants or muffins to which I selected not one, but two of the former!

This meal was actually not a comedown at all from the meals of the previous flights, minus that fruit ball, but everything was hot and delectable by airline standards and I polished it all off while washing it down with mouthfuls of juice. Josh being Josh had selected the cereal and what’s to say about cereal? You put milk into it and you eat it with a spoon, he seemed to like it. After the trays were taken away and coffee was festooned upon me, I listened to an AC/DC CD followed by a Talking Heads CD (what a combo) as we moved steadily northward. Surprisingly, I was actually offered refills on this flight, something I hadn’t seen in days. The flight actually ended up being too short for me, as we started descending just as I was getting really into my trashy novel. Our descent took us right over Arlington Stadium, a place I hope to be at later this year before we touched down and took a long taxi to wait for our gate to clear up before I was released back into the US.
Scheduled Arrival: 12:16 PM
Actual Arrival: 12:07 PM
Gate D29

Preflight/Transit
American Flight 49
DFW-SFO
Scheduled Departure: 4:10 PM
Scheduled Board: 3:40 PM

Previously I had cleared immigration at JFK, LAX, SFO and RDU so today’s experience would be a new one. However, it would also be a good one as this redesigned terminal made for one of the most painless passport producing experiences of my young life. The immigration hall was huge with many desks and a bright, airy atmosphere that made me almost forget I was being scrutinized by people who had never met me before. After we waited a while for our bags to be delivered (mine came out earlier again) we cleared customs and reentered the secure area. Our first stop was the BA Lounge where after some debate between the two agents working, they decided as I was a Oneworld Sapphire who had just arrived from Mexico City, I could be granted admission. The lounge was relatively small but it was empty and quiet and staffed by nice employees. All the alcohol was locked up but they had Dr. Pepper which the Admirals Club didn’t so our time was well spent.

After a half hour in BA land in which I called a few Kunz’s to inform them I was back in the same country as them, we headed over to Terminal A to use the Admirals Club there. I was able to garner an extremely refreshing shower (I always purport this place has the best shower I’ve ever used) while we whiled away our time. To most the four hour connection would seem insane, but we wanted the 763 over the S80, so the time was well spent. Annoyingly, we found out our plane was coming in late from Zurich so we’d have a small delay, ah well, things happen. Soon our time at A came to an end as we headed back to Concourse D to have a light meal as the “Snack” to SFO would be minimal. We spent our final time at the D concourse Admirals Club where I informed a woman reading John Grisham’s “The Broker” that the book was awful and she should stop now. She didn’t take it very well. After a last smartass comment to her, we reentered the terminal and soon boarding was called for:

Flying
Gate D21
Seat 5J – First Class
767-300 – N370AA
Actual Board: 4:26 PM
Actual Depart: 4:57 PM –47 Minutes Delayed
Take off 10 minutes after departure

It was nice to get back onto a widebody, though the seats felt a bit tighter than they did two weeks ago. I guess after you see how some other airlines handle their Premium Cabins; American can feel a bit tight. By this point, Josh was starting to run out of gas and he was barely talking through the boarding process during which we received no beverages…blast. Once our quick taxi had been completed, we took off into the last of the Texas sun and headed west. I was disappointed to learn that despite the flight being 3 hours and 19 minutes long and during a dinner hour, our meal choices would be a “turkey or chicken wrap”. The movie playing was “Spiderman” and Josh decided to partake in that while I instead chose music and the American Way.

After the drinks and the always enjoyable mixed nuts (Josh didn’t notice my covert theft of some of his cashews), the meal trays were brought out. Frankly, they should have been ashamed to present this to me. I was given a half chicken salad wrap which was next to a solitary pickle. There was also the tired salad consisting of lettuce, tomatoes, peppers and olives with the usual Greek Vinaigrette. I swear I’ve eaten that salad so much you could blindfold me and I’d know exactly what to pick off and exactly what to eat. Luckily, Josh decided to go to sleep without finishing his meal, so I took the turkey from his wrap and mixed it into my salad and used his extra Dijoinaise on my wrap. The wrap wasn’t bad, there just wasn’t enough of it and a year ago this flight would get a salad, choice of hot entrees then a sundae. Instead I got a packet of Oatmeal Applesauce cookies. The meal done, there wasn’t much left to do. I worked on the crossword as Josh slept and listened to my music until our landing in San Francisco. The flight attendants decided to irk me one last time as they were galley gatherers but this time I’d stopped caring. Josh woke up right before landing and our wheels found purchase in California and we docked at the same terminal we’d departed from 11 days ago. It honestly felt like far longer. After leaving the secure area, Josh’s father was there and my bag came out first one final time.
Scheduled Arrival: 5:54 PM
Actual Arrival: 6:27 PM
Gate: 63

Usually I’d stop the report here as the next day consisted of three standard domestic coach flights, but these were broken up by a very enjoyable time with very enjoyable company. I was dropped off at SJC at 6 AM by Josh’s father (Josh didn’t want to get up at 5:30 AM to drive me for some reason) and I survived the quick Eagle flight down to San Diego. Once there, I was picked up by Carol SanDiego1K who whisked me downtown to conduct an informative driving tour of the waterfront, downtown, Balboa Park and Hillcrest. Once in Hillcrest we dined at the Hash House A Go Go (http://www.hashhouseagogo.com/) which I rather enjoyed, though Carol found a bit disappointing. What I found disappointing was she restrained me, practically physically, from paying for the meal! What kind of self-respecting gentleman lets his breakfast date pay? After an all too short time bonding, I was deposited back at SAN for my 757 to DFW.

After sleeping through that and more lounge time in Dallas, I boarded an MD-80 for the final flight to Durham. After a bag of pretzels and a Dr. Pepper, I had landed back in North Carolina. My bag was claimed, I walked into the cold night to find the Ford Expedition where my father had left it for me and I drove home to find my Mother waiting up for me. Now that’s a welcome home!

I had traveled 28,695 miles, enough to circle the earth and have some leftover mileage in 13 days. During that time I had had the national drink of two countries, visited a new continent, seen the Pope’s house, listened to Fleetwood Mac in three different countries, eaten new foods and gotten some amazing passport stamps. What a world we live in.

Raf

Great report ^ .
How is a public trasport in those Brasilian Cities ? I plan similar route (AMS-GRU(2 days) -GIG (12 days) -GRU-AMS) , but transfer from / to the airport looks like being difficult (>1h), so probably I'll take a coach from Sao to Rio. Any suggestions ? Raf

lestismore

Hello:

are you traveling alone? how much luggage will you have? are you staying in a hotel near the beaches? The answers will impact the decision to take public transport. I did this once and would not do it again. First, yes it is very very incexpensive, but the bus I took from the international airport took about 1 1/2 hours + to get me to my stop and then I still needed a taxi or another bus to get to my hotel. Safety- if you are an A.M. arrival, traffic on the bus may make seating difficult, at night would not reccommend that you even consider a bus. FYI- as you exit the customs desk, there is a taxi stand with several vendors offering to take you into Rio for a fixed sum.. For me at present they quote a 65-75 reals (sp?) with a little patience can bring that down to 50-60 reals. You could also walk out and once you do, you will be attacked by people offering to provide taxi and change $ for local currency. If you don't have any local $ suggest you use money exchange accross from taxi stand- and before you are out of custom control. Be careful, the person taking you "to" taxi is not the driver and will expect a "tip", the taxi driver may not want to turn on his meter and want to charge you as if a private taxi like inside the airport. Pay close attention to the placement of your bags and the number.

I love Rio and hope you have a great visit would be happy to tell you more e-mail or pm me if you would like more information

HNL1K

Amazing report. Thank you for sharing!!
^

ElvisNYC

Instead of taking taxis from the taxi stand, I'd suggest for you to go upstairs (check in floor) and take a taxi that's dropping off a customer (way cheaper and no hassle)

ElvisNYC

I forgot ! Great report, CMK10..

Btw, I like reading your reports and it was great seeing international destinations in this report, as you deserve it. Flying on domestic routes is a pain in the a.. That's why I don't do many domestic runs.

Good to hear that you loved Rio -it's incredible.. That's why I'm going in April

Seat 2A

13000 words ~ Gotta love these novella-like trip reports! I've printed it up to read later this week between Melbourne and Singapore. Thanks for the postcard and hope to see you in Phoenix in three weeks.

hsmythe

Charles:

It's great to see another Trip Report by CMK!

A couple of points:

- The initial RDU-SJC itinerary: was this a purchased ticket added on to the award ticket ? (You didn't give any explanation on this.)

- A small correction: Oregon is actually known as "The Beaver State" ... "The Evergreen State" is in fact Washington State -- and I do believe you have previously visited our fair state. PS: FWIW, more trivia: the city of Portland is known as "The Rose City".

TrayflowInUK

CMK, really enjoyed your trip report, you saw some amazing places in such a short space of time!

However, this passage really furrowed my brow:If I understand this correctly, she had a seat assignment for the middle seat and you and your friend had aisle and window. And so you hold a conversation in front of this girl, leaning forward to talk across her. She then offers to switch with either one of you, clearly to (a) facilitate your conversation and (b) not be forced to endure it, and you come back to her with a smart-arsed comment like that? If that's the way it went, you should be ashamed of yourself... talk about "The Ugly American." She should have punched your lights out!

aristoph

Here here! If I had been in that situation I would have called the cabin attendant and asked to be moved away from these a**holes.

hartd

Great report, thanks for the pix as well

SanDiego1K

And how did you become friends?

SanDiego1K

I have the feeling that CMK10 wrote tongue in cheek. He is one of the most mannerly young men that I have met, and I simply do not believe he would treat a young woman on a flight with disrespect.

aristoph

I hope you're right but I'm not so sure - the OP seems pretty keen on avoiding a middle seat!

"Ironically, it was the agent from the counter who I greeted with a withering glare, no one who tells me their airline won’t allow two people to sit in the aisle and window with neither in the middle gets a smile this early in the morning."

CMK10

Obviously my humor was taken in the wrong way and I want to make it apparant that neither myself nor Josh were ever rude to anyone we flew with on this trip. I have what my family calls the "Kunz Humor" which translates as comments that are occasionally taken the wrong way but are always meant well. The woman in 10K laughed at my joke and I appologize this was taken the wrong way.

About the public transit in Brazil, we rode the Metro in both Sao Paulo and Rio and in both cities it was easy to use. However, in neither cities did they have ticket machines and we noticed that the lines at ticket desks got very long at times. The trains were fast and the stations clean and the fares cheap. Thank you for all the comments so far.