ExtrAAordinaire

Which one?

Mats

Chez Fernand, 127 boulevard du Montparnasse.
The moelleux au chocolat will change your life.

ExtrAAordinaire

Thanks. I used to live at 77, boulevard du Montparnasse. I'll have to drop by when I'm next in Paris.

airoli

Thanks for this report. I had thought that AF would to better in Première... pitty.

And no, I've never seen the RER ticket machines working either!

aw

Thanks for the wonderful read. Surprising to see how disappointing F meals are on this flight. Last month I flew CDG-SFO in J and the meals were very good. We had 3 choices and my lamb noisette was cooked perfectly with the middle still exhibiting a faint pinkish tone. Desert was an assortment of pastries featuring a chocolate confection, a pear tart, mango sorbet and little cookies. My only complaint about the meal is that the bread is not warm. Service on AF is always consistently charming. Crews are some of the best looking ones I have seen for any carrier, especially males.

The lavs in J were well stocked with cotton pads, Evian skin cleanser and toner, toothbrushes and lotion. One thing I appreciate about AF is the lack of loud conversation in the galley. It's refreshing compared to the company *****ing and life confessions one so often hears in addition to the constant opening and slamming of equipment in the galleys while flying US carriers.

It's not what it used to be. I flew VCE-CDG in J and all I received was a small plastic tray with a tiny fruit tart and a open smoked salmon sandwich. Maybe if you fly during regular meal hours you might get something more substantial.

JOUY31

On flights shorter than 3hrs, you would probably get, in the same mini-tray, an additional quiche lorraine at meal times. Things have definitely gone downhill since March 2004.

mad_atta

Great report, Mats - thanks. Hope you get better food on the return.

blairvanhorn

airoli, my trips in longhaul First on AF have always been very, very good - particularly food, service and wine. Just my humble impression, of course.

iwantanupgrade

I have to say AF's intra-Europe business class was a huge disappointment. My routing was CDG-SVO-CDG. My only international experience is CO Business First and QF First. Just a huge disappointment.

magexpect

Sorry about the deceiving experience... It probably is like roulette, one cannot win everytime. I do hope your return trip will be much better and that you'll also make a report.

I have given up JFK a long time ago. The caterers are the worst. The flight is also too short. Try flying from ATL once, the meals are definitely better on average.

onedog

ROTFLMAO

Mats

AF1016 CDG (2D) – ARN (T5)
A320-200
Seat 2D
I managed to find an express RER train from Chatelet-les-Halles to Roissy, so the trip was quite quick and painless. I was seated uncomfortably close to two ridiculously loud women from Queens. They looked like Pam Greer and a Sopranos understudy. They had a lengthy conversation about the time change and about how the cheese and sausage were “smelling up” Mrs. Soprano’s bag. I hope that their cheese gets confiscated by US Ag inspection. They’d probably prefer Velveeta and Bob Evans anyway.

Once again, I didn’t have any trouble locating check-in, my gate, and so on. I’ve never had trouble with the signage at Terminal 2 and there seemed to be enough Air France staff around if one had questions.

The agent explained that Delta issued my ticket as paper not electronic, but they had only made this mistake on one segment. She politely called a supervisor, made the change, and apologized profusely.

Security entailed a 5-7 minute wait. I couldn’t quite figure out their frisking policy. It seemed that some people got a second chance with the metal detector, others weren’t so lucky. But their actual frisking was so quick that it hardly seemed to be a problem. I, however, didn’t suffer this indignity. Yet again, European security seemed quick, thorough, friendly, and without yelling. There were no rules, no lengthy explanations (“I’m now going to touch you inappropriately with the back of my hand. Is that okay? Or would you prefer not to fly and get a fine?”) The SIFA security were also dressed in natty outfits with matching navy blue gloves--a far cry from the cheap vinyl TSA gloves that enhance their rent-a-cop appearance.

Once in the boarding area, there were a wide array of French and foreign newspapers. I helped myself to a Herald Tribune and a Wall Street Journal.

Boarding was about 15 minutes late, but agents made several announcements in English and in French. As expected, there was general boarding only. nothing by row number and no advanced boarding for passengers in L’Espace Affaires. But it wasn’t a mess; there were two lines, no shoving, and no yelling. To my delight, we actually boarded by Jetway and not by bus.

On board, I was greeted with orange juice, water, or Champagne as well as a wide selection of magazines.

The A320 cabin looked great. Wide seats, spotless, and large bins. I was pleased to find that seat 2D is the best seat in Business Class. It has more legroom than any other.

Our taxi was surprisingly quick, past the deserted Terminal 1 and mysterious Terminal 3.

Inflight, we were treated to “lunch.” This was much better than I anticipated. No cheap plastic tray. Instead, we received the following:
Again, the bread was served at room temperature, but perhaps this is a cultural difference rather than a service shortcoming. The rest of the meal was quite good, especially the cake. Coffee and tea (with real milk) were served after the meal.

I would say that Air France European business class is equivalent to “premium economy.” The seat is not comparable to US domestic first class, but it’s not uncomfortable. The food is entirely comparable to longhaul economy class on a good airline.

Landing was punctual at Arlanda. There was a lengthy taxi but we arrived at the closest gate to the terminal exit. There was perhaps a 10 minute wait for bags, but mine was perhaps the fourth or fifth to be unloaded.

There didn’t seem to be anyone at Customs, so the plane-to-street journey took only about 15 minutes.

Coming up: back to Paris and the (ha ha) Paris Hilton.

ClipperJon

"I was seated uncomfortably close to two ridiculously loud women from Queens. They looked like Pam Greer and a Sopranos understudy. They had a lengthy conversation about the time change and about how the cheese and sausage were “smelling up” Mrs. Soprano’s bag. I hope that their cheese gets confiscated by US Ag inspection. They’d probably prefer Velveeta and Bob Evans anyway. "

They sound more like Lucy and Ethel, stuffing Lucy's cheeze into Ricky's band instruments after finding that Lucy's "baby" (cheeze in disguise) didn't fly free on international flights!

ClipperJon

Mats

AF1063 ARN (T5) – CDG (2D)
A319
Seat 2D

Again greetings from the skies above Northern Europe.

I arrived at Arlanda somewhat early but was surprised to find that others Air France passengers had done the same. The agent read a message aloud from the computer “Passenger does not have paper ticket.” She started to frown and I was expecting her to deny me passage. But she made a phone call to Air France and that fixed the difficulty.

The agent then issued me an Economy Class boarding card. Now I hate to be a “problem passenger”, but I did “pay” (in miles) for a business class ticket. So I went over to the ticket desk.

The Air France agent explained that I was booked in “A” class; she explained that Air France has no such booking class. I politely tried to explain that “A” stands for award travel in L’Espace Premiere. She wasn’t buying my story. So I had to call Atlanta and get an agent to rebook me in “O” class, award travel in L’Espace Affaires. This required me to explain to the Delta agent that there is no “first” class on intra-European flights. This led to more confusion. But it finally worked. I decided not to ask about a lounge; it didn’t seem worth it.

Security was the easiest I’ve experienced in years. Shoes can stay on, no frisking, no ID check, and friendly guards. They don’t even have a sniffer machine, so everything goes quite quickly. Interestingly, Stockholm/Arlanda is one of the few European airports in which transit passengers need not clear security. In other words, a passenger flying from—say—Oslo to Paris via Stockholm needs only to clear security in Oslo. Most other European airports (AMS, BRU, CDG, CPH, FRA, to name a few) require transit passengers to be re-screened.

Boarding was a snap and I settled into 2D, the best seat aboard Air France’s A319 and A320 fleets. The friendly cabin crew offered magazines, orange juice, champagne, and assistance with carry-on bags.

After an expeditious takeoff, the crew served dinner. Due to the light load, service was not from the cart. Dinner consisted of:
The meal was catered by Gate Gourmet in Stockholm and it was excellent. The salmon was outstanding and the chicken had a nice zip. The cake and coffee were pretty grim, but everything else made up for it. I didn’t actually mind the 2001 Bordeaux that came with dinner.

After dinner, I read for a while and I landed close to 20 minutes early at CDG.

Not surprisingly, we parked at a remote stand. But I don’t blame them; after all, they had a terminal implode.

Needless to say, bags took 30 minutes. And the wait for a shuttle bus to the hotel was another 40 minutes. Then there have to be people waiting in line to check in. Grrrrr..

Hilton Roissy-Charles de Gaulle
Despite the problems getting to the hotel, the rooms are beautiful. Exceptionally spacious by European standards. I’d say the rooms are fairly big by North American standards. The staff were friendly and the rooms have wireless internet (albeit expensive.)

Coming up: L’Espace Premiere back to the USA.

Mats

Morning with Paris Hilton
I didn’t sleep terribly well, but I had a lot on my mind and a big day of traveling ahead of me.

Breakfast, included in the room rate, was delightful. There were fresh mangoes, peach compote, whole milk yoghurt, warm options, and a variety of other options. Juices included banana and raspberry smoothies, apricot nectar, and similar impressive options.

Check-out was rather a pain. There was a lengthy wait for an available agent, check-out required a re-swipe of the credit card, and so on. There was a 25-minute wait for a bus to the airport (contrary to the “three minutes” as described by the front desk staff.)

Several guests looked like they might possibly combust due to the delays. The time from arrival at check-out to the airport terminal was almost one hour.

AF316 CDG (2C) – ATL
777-200
Seat 1B
The line for Business/First check-in was monstrous. But I knew not to panic; it’s always like that. There was no priority service for first class compared to business.

Air France no longer contracts with Securicor. Instead, a friendly ICTS agent asked me a handful of security questions—European style (fill-in-the-blank versus yes-or-no.) He then slapped an electric orange sticker on the back of my passport, in contrast to the light blue stickers on others. Uh-oh, I thought, pre-boarding colonoscopy forthcoming.

I expected to be stopped by the checked baggage hand inspection, but this was not the case.

Check-in itself was simple and took only a minute or two. I then noticed that the queue for Tempo/Economy Class was entirely absent. Note: look to see if the queue is shorter for Termpo/Economy. The agent said that he’d checked my bags to “Port Colu.” I smiled and asked, “CMH?” He answered in the affirmative. I later noticed that the tags said “Port Colu,” so perhaps he thought that was the name of my hometown. It sounds a bit more romantic than Columbus, now that I think about it.

The queue for passport control was exceptionally long, stretching to the terminal entrance. Again, I knew not to panic; it’s just par for the course.

Security was simple and stress-free. A friendly “Bonjour, good morning” and the welcome advice that my shoes could stay on. No yelling, no power trips. I waltzed through and walked over to gate 82, via the Duty Free.

No time for lounges, I really needed to get on board.

I expected the ICTS agents at the gate to notice the orange sticker, but they did not. An agent handed me a US Immigration Form and wished me a pleasant flight. No questions.

Just when I thought I’d made it, there were more ICTS agents lurking on the Jetway. The Midnight Express theme music started running through my head. But alas, nobody said a word and I stepped on board the bus to the aircraft. I noticed, however, that passengers on the adjacent flight to Los Angeles were subject to a great deal of frisking, baggage inspection, and shoe removal. So long, suckers, I shouted at the unfortunate Los Angelinos. (Then I leaped into the air and peered back at the Sanatorium.)

I was the last to board only to find just one other passenger in L’Espace Premiere. “But I’ll be so lonely,” I exclaimed. The crew promised to keep me company and then offered a sleeping suit, amenity kit, menu, and champagne.

During the safety video I was again shocked. That guy speaks French! Who knew? Air France should clearly hire the people who made the video for Virgin Atlantic. If not, maybe they could have an Itchy and Scratchy version. (I love the Itchy and Scratchy pre-movie presentation. A bird seated in front of Itchy and Scratchy talks loudly on his phone. Itchy and Scratchy put dynamite under the bird and eliminate him. The film is called, To Kill a Talking Bird. Perhaps one of you can come up with an Itchy and Scratchy title for the safety video.

For much of the taxi I chatted with Valerie, one of the cabin crew. She actually lives in Tampa but deadheads to Paris (in Tempo, I might add)! I didn’t specifically mention corn nuts, but we talked about the difference in the “inflight environment” between Air France and the US carriers. Valerie had a rather graphic description of the TSA in Cincinnati: ”You! Stop! Strip naked now!

Shortly after takeoff, I changed into my sleeper suit. One of the crew laughed at me as I tried to hang up my trousers. She said, “I think it would be better if I folded them.” Folding clothes, like wrapping gifts, is not one of my talents.

For my entertainment, the Air France Magazine featured photographs of—I’m not making this up—Peggy’s Cove, Nova Scotia. The editor at Air France must have missed the fact that Peggy’s Cove is where Swissair 111 crashed. Not exactly the best reading for a North Atlantic crossing, if you ask me.

I was thinking of suggesting some other articles for future Magazine editions:The menu was as follows:
CollationLight mealLe Carte des Vins
As you can imagine, food was drastically better on this segment compared with the Eastbound Transatlantic flight.

Lunch began with Fauchon almonds and hazelnuts. No, not warm, but they’re from Fauchon, so I couldn’t complain.

The canapés were particularly good, followed by the mouth-watering shrimp entrée. The sea bass came in an ugly, Wal-Mart bowl but it was still good. I like just about anything with sumac (except poison sumac.)

The crew recommended the Chablis, which was decent enough. I’m not much of a white wine person, but I’m such a vinbecile that I’d probably [/b]order the wrong thing[/b]. (“La Nonne Bleue 2005?” or perhaps “Le Chien Fou Vingt/Vingt.”)

The dessert, however, was life-changing. It was a beautiful round coconut mousse with a grilled pineapple filling. I wanted to move in.

After lunch, I had a decent espresso served in a cute Air France espresso cup.

I promptly nodded off for several hours and woke up over Newfoundland.

The crayfish did not appeal to me at all. So I politely asked a crewmember if she had any other options. It took her a bit to understand what I meant, and then she asked if I’d like a vegetarian main course.

If you have the opportunity, I wholeheartedly endorse the vegetarian meal. It was mixed greens, baby potatoes, and a sort of bean and tomato puree. It was delicious. This was served with canned fruit!, whole milk yogurt, and fairly stale bread. The main course was so good that I overlooked the “accessories.” I also had a Pastis, which blurred any memory of the canned fruit and stale bread.

Before long, we were making our descent into Atlanta.

There was only one person ahead of me in line at immigration and bags took less than five minutes to arrive. Mine was the third to come on to the belt. Not a word was spoken at Customs and off I went. A Delta agent approached me as I exited and accepted my suitcase, wishing me a pleasant onward journey.

The TSA was a mess. There are eight metal detectors but only two were operational. I counted 17 staff but only six working. The agent at the x-ray machine was talking to her friend, saying “well f*ck.” Shoe removal was compulsory but I could have probably carried a Kalashnikov through without difficulty.

I can’t think of a worse way to welcome visitors to the USA or to welcome Americans back home. I think the TSA has hit a new low.

DL668 ATL–CMH
MD-88
Seat 1C
I had no time to spare, so I hurried off to the “B” concourse. The ticket agent mumbled something about an electronic ticket and I stepped on board.

The cabin was packed with families ending their spring breaks, athletes returning from spring break training sessions, and so on. The busy MD-88 was a rude awakening from the empty L’Espace Premiere cabin.

I wanted to take a photo of the woman sitting next to me, just to prove that someone so wretched actually exists. But the photo would have to be scratch and sniff. She was drunk and she was knitting. Call me crazy, but aren’t knitting needles a little too sharp to take on commercial aircraft? But I suppose I already witnessed the diligence displayed by the Atlanta TSA.

It gets better. I looked to see what the drunk knitter was reading. “Chatauqua Airlines 2005 Recertification.” That’s right; she’s a flight attendant. Nothing says safety to me like knitting needles and alcohol!

There was, of course, a cute guy in first class. But he was two rows behind me. I blame the knitter for interfering with my inflight paramours. “Maybe you can knit yourself a straightjacket to wear at Betty Ford,” I suggested (under my breath.)

At least the flight was only an hour and ten minutes. I overheard some of Shirlene’s buddies yapping, but they weren’t too irritating. We landed before long and had a very quick taxi to the stand.

I hurried off to find a massive crowd at the baggage claim. “SkyTeam Priority” tags have no meaning in Columbus, so there was a 20-minute wait.

Concluding remarks
So here I am, back in scenic Columbus. It was a wonderful trip and I hope that you enjoyed reading my commentary.