mm9u

Okay, I admit it. I'm a CX flyer, and that is the standard to which I hold other airlines. The nicest thing I can say about this trip is that it was cheap.

Forget SARS, forget wars, forget the end of life as we know it: in November, I promised a ten year old that we would go to New Zealand to visit his first-best-only friend who would be away for a year. At the time, the trip was on CX, the miles were in place for an upgrade, everything was fine.

Needless to say, while I'm still flying to Hong Kong, taking a ten year old through was not acceptable to someone's mother. Since I would rather swim than take Korean Air, and since transiting Japan with children is a mistake I don't wish to make twice, there are few choices between Korea and New Zealand. Thai fell nicely in, and with a two for one deal on business class tickets, the trip was booked over the phone with my TA.

I should have known there was a problem when my travel agent was worried about TG's service.

The trip was preceeded by the usual total panic on the part of the ten year old. Are we really going, what if something goes wrong, when are we leaving, why do I have to go to bed.... The saving grace of the pre-flight panic is that it leaves him tired enough to sleep on almost all flights.

Domestic between Pusan and Incheon was the usual 45 minute get-it-done flight on Asiana. Take off, drink service, Asiana toy for the boy (asleep), collect the cups, land. Fast, efficient, forgettable.

Check in for the TG flight was complicated for unknown reasons. No one was in line at the business class check-in. Check in was handled by Korean Air staff, with their usual style. Everything was typed into two stations, checked, cross checked, and involved four people standing around chatting in Korean. Two were talking about the reservation, two were talking about whether the boy understood Korean, and wondering about our relation. Bad idea.

Suddenly having a business class passenger ask, in a third language, that people not talk about someone in a second language, terrified the check in staff. Calling over the TG staff member seemed to solve the problem, since she was able, with only one terminal, to immediately print boarding passes and send us on our way.

TG uses the Singapore lounge at Incheon. The SQ staff cooled immediately when handed a TG boarding pass, but upstairs there was no apparent discrimination. The SQ lounge is larger than the CX lounge, and better stocked for food. Since SQ operates long haul out of ICN, this makes sense. Three separate staff members took the time to show the boy where things were, his request for "better jam" was greeted with a smile and the production of a basket of the stuff.

Boarding commenced on time, with a call for priority passengers. Consider the load, it wasn't really needed. No one appears to be going anywhere in Asia right now. This is the point in time that the boy discovered that I had put us in the front of the plane. While this made him quite happy, I was less than impressed.

2-4-2 on a 777, in business. What appeared to be about a 44 inch pitch. Economy was 3-4-3, on a 777! with an apparent 31 inch pitch. Not a business class product. Economy plus, maybe.

Luckily, BY had his window seat, there were individual TV's and juice/"champagne" offered. Business appeared to have about ten passengers, including a couple in front that were saying what I was thinking.

To credit the staff, if not the aircraft, on board service was excellent. Amenity kits (The boy now knows where all the silly bags in my closet come from,) were passed out, hot towels were passed, and the "food" service commenced.

Grilled Marinated Prawns, Vegetable Terrine
Mixed Green Salad with Vinaigrette Dressing

Pork Fillet in Red Curry Sauce, Thai style, streamed Thai Jasmine Rice, Green Beans;
-or-
Saithe Fillet Stuffed with Pimento and Tomato, Ratatouille Sauce, Diced Parslet Potatoes, Sauteed Spinach, Carrots
-or-
Beef Short Rib Korean Style, Steamed Rice, Pak-Choi
-or-
Roast Chicken Thigh, Pepper Cream Sauce, Fried Rice, Carrot, Green Beans

Assorted Breads, Crackers, Butter
Cheese and Fresh Fruits

Chocolate Mouse
Tea, Coffee
Espresso, Cappuccino

The wine list made for interesting reading:

Champagne
Fleur de Champagne, brut, non-vintage

Red Wine
Chateau Voloux Pessac Leognan 1999
Chateau Val Joanis 2001

White
Bourgogne "Hatues Cotes de Beaune Blanc" 2000
Bourgogne Blanc Chardonnay 2001
Gewurtraminer Reserve "Bestheim" 2001

I usually have at least heard of the wines that I'm being served. The Val Joanis was drinkable, but not exactly good. With a year or two more, maybe it would compete with any number of Australain box wines.

The prawns were thunderingly large, and like most mutant animals, hard to kill. The beef was inedible, dry, and impossible to cut with a plastic knife. The chicken was greasy, and while it did not feed the ten year old, it at least entertained him for a while. "Bouncy Chicken" was how he announced it to his friend in New Zealand. The dessert was described as "Rubber Cake Mix." This from a boy that has asked for seconds in Y on CX. The cheese selection was iced brie or sliced monteray jack.

The flight crew offered nothing for presents to the boy, possibly because the second I said that he didn't have to eat anything he didn't want, he took out his moose and went to sleep. Seat pitch was ideal, for a ten year old.

Landing in Bangkok was the usual disorganized affair, involving circling the terminal (did give us a lovely tour of the golf course, though) to park somewhere else, and mass packed bus ride back to the terminal, of course stopping at the arrival gates for terminal 2, when all outgoing flights seemed to be at terminal 1. Since we had a four hour wait for the next flight, this didn't seem to matter. We strolled, man and boy and moose, slowly down the length of the Bangkok airport, looking for the transfer desk, a map, signage, some sign of an exit, hope.

The business class transfer desk stood alone, neither passengers nor staff. The economy transfer desk was mobbed, on both sides, with people shouting back in forth in many languages. Some even appeared to be speaking the same languages, but clearly none were happy with what the others were saying. Our arrival, at the forlorn business class counter, resulted in almost all of the staff moving from the coach desk to the business desk, apparently intending to overwhelm us with service, but merely resulting in our being surrounded by a group of even less happy coach passengers, still shouting. A quick check of boarding passes, a gate check, an attempt to put us on an earlier flight (TG has two flights, about a half an hour apart, between BKK and AKL. The first one uses and MD11 through BNE, the second a 747 through SYD. I avoid putting my children on planes older than they are,) and kindof directions to the lounge, upstairs, to the left, no right, near the gates.

We went upstairs, we found the lounge (near the gates?), we were not amused. While the lounge is large, it is also windowless and poorly lit. The check in staff was busy arguing with an Asiana passenger (StarAlliance expansion apparently not having been announced to the lounge staff) but managed, with neither greeting nor eye contact, to take our boarding passes, write our names in a little book, and hand them back.

Once the boy discovered that there were neither noodles nor ice cream, he happily made do by eating a succession of chicken curry puffs in a wildly tangy mustard sauce. A nice selection of drinks, a well kept bar area, a limited food selection well presented, beer cold, coffee hot, many many newspapers and inflight magazines from other airlines.

The showers, both of them, were frightening, looking more like the after pictures from some of my camp trips with forty boys. I did not ask for a towel, I assume that one of the many seated staff members at one of the many desks was in charge of towels, because I did not want to take the time to clean the shower before using it.

For anyone else traveling with children, don't make a long layover in Bangkok. If it were not for maternal fears of SARS, we would have cleard customs, and gone swimming. The toy selection in the airport was seriously limited, though we did eventually find a small selection of Gundam action figures for him to assemble.

While he was building his robot fighters, I checked with the lounge staff about the ongoing flight, and got the answer that I wanted. Not the right answer, not an accurate answer, not an honest answer, but the answer that I wanted. We would be flying to AKL on one of the 747's with PTV in business.

Boarding was announced in the lounge, and we began the long trek, man, boy, moose, and robots, to the gate. Strangely, even after the fifteen minutes it took us to get to the gate area, and the ten minutes it took to get through security, the plane was not boarding.

Fifteen minutes later, it was not boarding.

Fifteen minutes later, it was announced that it would be boarding in fifteen minutes. I took the time to ask the gate staff if there had been an equipment change, if there were PTVs in business. I again got the answer that I wanted.

Boarding finally commenced, with man, boy, moose, and robots at the head of the line. This was slowed by the fact that the reader rejected our boarding passes, resulting in much furious typing, cross checking, and feeding of boarding passes into other readers, stopping all lines. Eventually, the gate agent just handed us the boarding passes back, and waved us toward the plane.

There were no PTVs (a little too much foreshadowing, perhaps?). There were no footrests. Thai's lower deck business class is strangely laid out, in a 2-2-wall-galley configuration. Boy and moose again had window seats, but were immediately aware that there were no TVs. The first words said to the in flight service manager when she approached were "No TVs?"

Her answer of "Just a minute, just wait, don't worry," was the first sign of hope. She returned in a minute with a Video Walkman and a handful of tapes, and took the time to explain what the movies were about.

The service was excellent, as I have come to expect in Thailand. Staff was always available, always helpful. The cabin is simply out of date, below competitive in many markets. Drinks were offered before take off, the video walkman was stowed away, and we left, about a half an hour late.

The second the seat belt sign went off the boy was presented with both the video walkman, playing Men in Black 2, and the complete collection of Thai inflight toys (plane, puzzle, comic book, crayons, bag)leaving him quite happy. Amenity kits were handed to man, boy, and moose, also making the boy quite happy. (The moose had no comment, but appeard to have handed over the extra amenity kit to the boy.)

There was food served on this leg, and considering the disasterous food service ex-ICN, it was surprisingly good.

FIRST SERVING:
Fried Thai Curry Fish Mousse Cake
Cucumber Relish

Hors-d' Oeuvre
Mixed Green Salad with Thousand Island Dressing

Stir-fired Shredded Pork with Carrot, Bamboo Shoot, Black Mushrooms, Yellow Chinese Noodles
-or-
Fillet Of Siam Perch with Red Capsicum Sauce
Parsley Potatoes, Carrots, Spinach
-or-
Broiled Tournedos Steak with Teriyaki Sauce
Buttered Egg Noodles, Stir-fried Vegetables
-or-
Chicked Curry "Pa-naeng"
Steamed Thai Jasine Rice, Chinese Broccoli

Roll, Garlic Bread, Biscuits, Butter
Assorted Cheese and Dried Fruit Tray
Fresh Fruits

Assorted Mini French Pastries and Fruit Sherbet
Tea, Coffee, Espresso, Cappuccino

The boy happily ate the fish mousse cake, recoiled at the Hors-d'Oeurve (Uhm, Salmon, I guess, perhaps dried rather than smoked, a sausagy looking thing involving pieces of meat, a corn salad served in lettuce, and a cherry tomato filled with a mustardy, green, sauce) but was quite hapyy eating my beef and his. After the chocolate mousse inbound, he elected not the eat the dessert.

After the meal, with MIB2 unfinished, he promptly went to sleep. Staff immediately offered to move me across the aisle, removing the center armrest from my seat and his, providing us both with extra blankets and pillows, water bottles, and a much needed drink for me. I sleep poorly on planes, but dozed off and on through the night, noting that every staff member that walked by took the time to check on the boy, pulling blankets back up, returning the moose from the floor, bringing him a glass of juice unasked when he woke up in the middle of the night.

The flight was uneventful, a breakfast was served before landing:

SECOND SERVING:
Fresh Fruits

Quiche Metiza, Grilled Chicken Sausage
Tomato and French Beans

Tea, Coffee.

While it looked okay, the boy slept on and I didn't need it, so it was declined.

Landing in Sydney required waking the boy, rebuilding the seats, juice for the boy. Staff was still attentive, rather than being busy getting ready to land. Transit in SYD requires deplaning and clearly Australian security. I don't know if there is lounge access for transit passengers, after a flight of that length I need to walk, so man, boy, moose, and robots proceeded to circle the Sydney international terminal, slowly, while the boy tried to figure out just how much more time this trip would take. (In all fairness, it was the longest trip he had ever been on, and the first that involved more than one plane after the domestic connection in Korea.)

There was no listing of the flight on the status monitors, no mention of a Thai flight whatsoever, so we simply wandered from gate to gate until we found the plane again. Boarding was delayed for reasons unknown, but commenced about fifteen minutes later than planned. Same seats, different crew, socks and eyeshades passed out, a second set of toys given, more juice. Take off was smooth, and the boy was asleep before we left the tarmac.

Breakfast was served on this leg, again declined:

Fresh Fruit
Fruit Yoghurt

Crispy Fired Fish Sweet and Sour Sauce
Thai Exotic Fried Rice
-or-
Omelet with Spinach and Tomato
Grilled Bacon, Sauteed Mushrooms, Tomato

Roll, Croissant, Danish Pastry, Butter, Jam
Tea, Coffee.

Trans-Tasman is a short flight, with the last hour taken up by a now well rested boy and moose asking endless questions about what we were to do in New Zealand, whether his friend knew we were coming, where we would stay, did they have a pool, did I have pictures of the pool, was there a roller coaster, et al. Landing was thirty minutes early, immigration was cleared in about two minutes, luggage was up in another three, and we were standing in the arrivals hall, well before we were to be met. The boy immediately headed for the McDonalds, and the trip finally started in his eyes.

A quick tour of Auckland to follow, as well as the return home with man, boy, moose, and bear.

pallensf

Welcome to FT mm9u -

Quite the intersting trip report, thanks for sharing this with us all...

------------------
Patrick A. Inouye, LMT
volunteer trip reports moderator

PresRDC

Hysterical report.

I am hpoing someday in the future to take my godson on a nice trip like this, but he is still too young at the moment.

Looking forward to the rest!

asnovici

Great report!!!!

Moose sounds like a total hoot, I would love to travel with him, he never has comments and hands out the extra amenity kits to the companion traveler! What a polite and low-maintenance moose!

Seriously though, what a great report

B747-437B

The SQ staff at the ICN lounge have a weird habit of photocopying your boarding pass and FF card everytime you enter. I've never seen anyone else try that. Nonetheless, it is one of the best lounges operated by an airline outside of its main hub.

Hilarious report nonetheless. Traveling with kids is always an adventure and you seem to have the right sense of humor to go along with it!

RTW4

Marvelous report. I found myself laughing out loud! Thanks for the menu transcripts. They always make the trip report so interesting.

garfield5

same here

Spider

Great report!

It is interesting to hear that you were handed Video Walkmans. I never got anything like this in F.

As far as lounge access goes in SYD and most other places then as long as you have an onward BP in C or F then there are no problems getting in. NZ lounge in SYD is really worth a visit even just to have a quick shower after an overnight flight from BKK.

BTW, what was the cost of the ticket where you got 2 for 1 deal?

Swanhunter

Nice report - echoes my dismal experiences of Thai in business. Only I seem to always get miserable crews into the bargain.

Travelling with a 10 year old - very brave...

Uli

Nice reading - thank you!

garfield5

AFAIK Thai only has them on planes without PTVs AND if you don't ask explicitly you won't get one... Tapes are usually quite old with bad image and sound quality

mahjongguy

Terrific writing. Thanks!

Shinkansen

Excellent report!

I am looking forward to your return. Not nearly enough reports with moose being posted of late.