okazon69

Here's an interesting one. There must be more to it than rifling through her underwear and commenting on her possession of condoms. Would be interesting to have some more background information.

http://rabble.ca/news/2013/04/sexism...rsonal-account

DIFIN

welcome to AmeriKa

Global_Hi_Flyer

Wow. Disgusting, but not beyond the bounds of belief.

Wally Bird

So what are we talking here, 10, 50, 100?

InkUnderNails

At least three, from the container count. I am too old for this. I still can not get used to the "you know what" aisle at WalMart.

Loren Pechtel

I don't think this is sexism, but rather that they think they found a prostitute.

phoebepontiac

I'm a little confused by the article, just in that she admits that she's going to sleep in the same hotel bed with her married male traveling companion, and that his wife knows about it. Then she gets coy and doesn't explain what is, you must admit, a unique situation there. Is the idea that this has something to do with the book she's writing? Or does the guy have an open marriage or something? I feel like I missed an explanatory sentence somewhere.

I get the part about customs being sexist and abusive and that it's none of their business, but it seems to me that if you're going to lay out a scenario like that in a story, it bears explaining in some detail. If it's also none of my business as a reader, then maybe it's not worth writing an article.

GUWonder

Polyamorous relationships do exist, probably way more than some may wish to admit.

It may be both.

Men who travel with such count of condoms are as frequently treated the same way by CBP as women? No.

firequall

People share beds sometimes and doing so is in no way an indicator that some kind of sexual activity will happen. Similarly, some people/couples are perfectly fine with it.

chgoeditor

Maybe the married man is her brother. Maybe it's her best friend. Maybe he's legally separated from his wife. Maybe it's none of border control's business.

InkUnderNails

I just reread the story again. Twice. She never says that the man is someone else's husband.

If I was writing a book and wanting to get some publicity, well.......never mind. I'm sure that is not the case.

SeriouslyLost

It depends whether you think the point of the article is the actions of CBP or not. Personally, I thought it was pretty clear she was writing about CBP. Why should you (or I or CBP) give a crap about her personal moral code, let alone the details of her life, that have nothing to do with CBP and transiting the US.

Wally Bird

18 USC 5421The Mann Act, still in force.

phoebepontiac

Look, I agree with you. I know about polyamory, and I don't judge other people's sexual choices, lest my own be judged. I just think it's a weakness in the writing that she doesn't tell us, the readers who she wants to sympathize with her, what exactly is her the relationship with this married man. She lays out a whole situation that would make the majority of people at least scratch their heads. She's sharing a bed with him, they would seem to have more than a platonic relationship, he's married, and his wife knows. I don't have a problem with it, I just don't understand it exactly. She is making alternative lifestyle choices, and yet she's seriously offended and traumatized that she would be accused of another fringe lifestyle choice (prostitution). She probably does in fact show the markers of a prostitute in the eyes of CPB, and like it or not, prostitution is illegal and it is their business to stop people they believe to be involved in illegal activity.

I personally think prostitution should be legal and destigmatized, and CPB should be polite to everyone, even if they think they've caught a criminal. And polyamory and even polygamy should have their places in society for those who choose the lifestyles. My issue here is really with the weakness of the essay -- if what she's doing is acceptable and legal, then she shouldn't be cagey with her readers about what it is, especially if one of her larger goals is to normalize her sexual choices. If in fact it's none of my business what she's up to with this married man (and yes, she does write that he's married), then I'm not inclined to sympathize with her because it feels to me as a reader like she's not telling me the whole truth.

My one caveat is that I can't tell from the site whether it's aimed at an audience that would automatically understand her situation, and therefore she doesn't need to explain it. Like, it's audience is notably sexually free-thinking, or perhaps she's a regular columnist with a following who knows her story. I just didn't care to dig that deeply. I would still think, though, in an age when articles get distributed around the internet and away from their original audience, it would be wise to add an explanatory clause or two for the benefit of the uninitiated who may somehow stumble across your writing.

phoebepontiac

One more thought... This writer is upset that US CBP gave her so much trouble because they suspected her of being actively engaged in an illegal activity. And indeed, it sounds like they were total jerks about it. But I wonder if she is aware that her own country routinely turns away Americans with minor, decades-old, single criminal offenses on their records (a DUI when they were young and stupid, for example) after they have long since straightened up and paid their debt to society.