"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only four ways out of this airplane."

"Be careful when opening the overhead bins because shift happens."

"If you are traveling with a child, please put on your oxygen mask before assisting them. If you have more than one child, pick the one you love the most, and assist them first."

We have a very special passenger today - today is his 80th birthday and this is his first flight. Captain Smith, will you step out of the cockpit and take a bow? (Southwest flight, PHX-LAS)

Cheers,

'toad

I have heard some of these before but they are worth a repeat reading for some good laughs!

On another note: a frustrated F-A angry at passengers getting up before the captain turned off the fasten seat belt sign screamed "SIT DOWN!" then said "I am prepared to keep these doors closed as long as all you people remain standing.

The plane was 90 minutes late, a lot of us (myself included) had very tight connections and we were frustrated the captain neared the gate and stopped. We eventually got to the gate when the F-A made his "warning!"

We stood there another ten minutes and teh F-A warned us "If you all rush the door I'll sit down and make you all wait longer. You will not knock me down."

he finally opened the door and half the passengers cursed him out.

I was just lucky to get off the plane.

Most of these are like the old jokes that keep resurfacing... SW has been the most vocal of these jokesters but other airlines' FAs have been joining the ad-lib routine.

The one that sticks in my mind was a female FA who said that her husband, [name], will be the FA in the rear cabin along with his girlfriend, [name].

Somewhat OMNI: and Off topic.. maybe when they show those safety announcement videos keep them serious but do something different instead of "actors" posing as airline employees give them.

Like having them done with animated characters.

Or John CLeese the Brit Comic.

Or the Muppets do it (they do the pre film announcements in NYC like "Don't talk during the movie."

Or Meg Ryan or Michelle Pfeffer do it (and whoever the Popular actor is for the female set.)

Then maybe people would pay more attention to the safety announcements remember them in the worse case synerio (SP?)

I always listen to the safety announcements because YOU NEVER KNOW!


[This message has been edited by Catman (edited 04-10-99).]

This is a nonsmoking flight, however you are welcome to step outside in the event you need a smoke!!!!!!

>"Or Meg Ryan or Michelle Pfeffer do it (and whoever the Popular actor is for the female set.)

Then maybe people would pay more attention to the safety announcements remember them in the worse case scenario."

They might pay more attention to the "announcers", but I suspect the medium would get in the way of the message. (Imagine Ms. Pfeiffer in a catsuit - do you *really* think any of the men ages 8 through 108 would be concentrating on where the exit doors in this aircraft are located?)

As our TWA flight arrived in ABQ on friday, April 2 (we went to Santa Fe for Easter vacation), the pilot wished us goodbye, a pleasant Easter weekend, and then: "Last one out is a rotten egg!"

According to a UA FA that I sat next to on a flight, the UA video actually uses real employees. She once either saw or worked with the main guy (tall, dark hair, nice smile) from the video on a flight. I always thought that they were actors too.

------------------
Regards,
- Anna

Thanks for the facts on the U-A flight announcement ANNA. I had a feeling they were U-A workers but they seemed to have more talent than a lot of the HOLLYWOOD TYPES today!

I guess that makes sense. U-A is an employee owned airline, right?

Following up on an earlier post: Pilot: "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now; so I am going to switch the sealt belt sign off. Feel free to move about if you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land . . . it's a bit cold outside , and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."

(As we landed in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, on American Airlines -- the only U.S. carrier to serve this destination): "Thank you for flying American, we know you usually have a choice of airlines..."

"Thank you for flying with us today. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."