Exploring the Seas with Hunnybear
 

Friendly skies, ground agents not included

We found a phenomenal deal on a cruise on the brand-new Explorer of the Seas, the world’s largest cruise ship along with its twin Voyager of the Seas, so Hunnybear and I booked cheap flights to Miami on United and upgraded with 1K North American Upgrade certs. We had booked an outside cabin on this megaship for $890 each for the week including taxes from an outfit Arnie the Compmeister had turned us on to. This would be our third cruise together, part of our All Honeymoon All the Time policy, and all three on Royal Caribbean. Since this was our third RCCL cruise we were now Gold members. I asked Arnie what that got us and he said 10% off selected items in the gift shop. Well, it was something.

We took a cab from Marina del Rey to the airport and checked our luggage with the friendly skycap, who asked us security questions but did not issue us boarding passes. There was a huge line at the metal detectors so we went through secret security and headed straight for the 1K room since I was boycotting the Red Carpet Club because they want me to pay for membership. The skycap was friendly. The security guard was friendly. The agent in the 1K room, whose job it is to take care of United’s best customers, was not friendly. When I asked about possibly sitting in First Class instead of business she lectured me on United’s policy on double-upgrades and, for the first time ever, said that since I had booked the upgrades with confirmable certs I needed to surrender said certs rather than pay with 500-mile coupons. Doesn’t she get it? Her job should be to make exceptions to the rules for 1Ks, not to keep them from getting away with anything.

Our 767-300 to Miami was docked at gate 70B and had the Star Alliance livery. I asked the gate agent one more time about possibly sitting in First Class but he said it was very full. We waited until the last moment and then I asked again but he said they were waiting for four ticketed passengers and then there were a couple 1Ks with business-class tickets waiting to upgrade so I thanked him and we boarded and took seats 5E and F in the front row of business class, where we watched a uniformed pilot and two young United employees with orange crew tags on their baggage take their seats in First. I grabbed a glass of champagne from the nice stewardess and swigged it down.

We took off after 25 minutes of taxiing and then didn’t see a flight attendant for another 40 minutes, at which time we got served drinks. We declined the bags of KrapSnax™ from economy that they serve in business class instead of mixed nuts. No one had taken our meal orders so I mentioned that we’d like crab cakes to the drink server and she communicated the message to the purser. We were counting on the crab cakes because the other choices were chicken with coriander sauce and the dreaded pork charcuterie. Coriander is the seed of the dreaded cilantro plant, which I detest. An hour and 35 minutes after takeoff we finally got served our appetizer, cold smoked duck breast and a spinach salad with fresh mozzarella. I had a glass of the excellent Louis Martini Cabernet, back from a brief hiatus. Then the crab cakes arrived severely overdone. Service was friendly if unspeakably slow. Dessert was Eli’s mocha mousse cake. As a rule I don’t eat dessert but it was so refreshing to have a change from the Eli’s praline cheesecake that I wolfed it.

This plane was outfitted for international service and had the new business-class seats with laptop power, personal video, footrest, and back massage as well as noise-reducing headphones. This kind of comfort on a domestic flight is what really distinguishes United from the competition. We had nine channels of video, the amenity that makes all the difference in the world along with the fully reclining seats. We watched Disney’s The Kid with Bruce Willis first, a flick about a guy my age who meets himself as an eight-year-old and they share the wisdom of age and youth with each other. For the second round I started to watch Hello, Frisco, Hello, a classic ’40s film, but the purser invited me to sample a yummy Ben & Jerry’s ice-cream sundae up in the front galley. As a rule I don’t eat dessert but I couldn’t refuse so I had just one with Kahlua poured over it. Yum.

We landed 7 minutes early in Miami and found Jonathan waiting for us outside security, flying through on the way home to Toronto from Trinidad. Our bags came out quickly despite not being priority tagged by the skycap. We grabbed a cab to the Sheraton Biscayne Bay ($16 plus tip) where we found they had preassigned us the Presidential Suite and the twin Biscayne Suite on the penthouse floor. I noticed how United’s policy of “protecting the integrity of their First Class product” left me strategizing about how to get better treatment on their competitors while Starwood’s “First Class is always full” policy made me never want to stay anywhere else. The suite was stocked with bottles of still and sparkling water and a nice plate of assorted cheeses along with a note from the general manager saying they appreciated my business.

We headed down to grab a bite in the lobby restaurant, which had something I had never seen before: a Manhattan menu! I was in no mood for more alcohol though so I just had a steak salad, which was superb. Jonathan and Hunnybear split a burger and some French onion soup. Although it was not yet 10 LA time the sea air made us sleepy and we called it a night early.


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I hope you enjoy my Lion Tales. For photos, past travelogues, subscriptions, and more, see www.liontales.com

Lion, I just want to add that I had a wonderful time when you and I sailed on the Crystal Harmony and the Renaissance R2 together (making this our 5th cruise together) http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif

Hey, can't you two express your emotions in an analog manner, rather than via IP???

http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/biggrin.gif

Have a great trip!




[This message has been edited by Craig6z (edited 11-18-2000).]

QuiteLion writes:

Did I miss something?

[This message has been edited by Punki (edited 11-18-2000).]

Craig6z

I have asked Honeybear about writing a 'in room trip report' following one of QuietLion's I'll take you to the moon my dear escapades but all she said was "Newself, you just had to be there!" with a big grin on her face! http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif


[This message has been edited by newself (edited 11-18-2000).]

QL--Looking forward to details about the Explorer of the Seas.

I've had good experiences with the Vision-Class of ships from RCCL (Vision-, Rhapsody-, Legend-, Splendour-, Granduer-, etc, of the Seas), and want to try out out the Explorer and Voyager of the Seas. I recently took the Rhapsody of the Seas to Alaska, and it was a perfect cruise!!

And my first ever cruise was aboard the Soverign of the Seas!

Most of my experience is with RCCL (Soverign, Rhapsody, Legend, etc.), Costa, Ren, among others.

Sounds like service in the 1K room is designed to encourage you to bend over for the RCC membership. http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

CyberCabin!

To clarify and extend my preceding remarks, this was our third Royal Caribbean cruise, but fifth overall including the private shindig we attended in Alaska on the Crystal Harmony. I thank the Hunnybear from California for her kind assistance in refreshing my recollection.

It was a perfect day in Miami, sunny and 78. Looking out the window of our suite we could see the cruise-ship terminal and there she was, having drifted in during the early-morning hours—the Explorer of the Seas, docked in all her majesty and grandeur. We all went down by the pool to do some basking and then went in for breakfast. Hunnybear and I each ordered the smoked salmon plate which came with a toasted bagel but not the wine-poached egg advertised. It was one enormous slice of lox, quite good, smothered in capers. Jonathan had the breakfast buffet including a made-to-order omelet. We saw Jonathan off to catch his flight and then packed up ourselves.

Just before one we checked out. The video checkout wasn’t working after noon so I told the front desk to just leave it on my Centurion Card. We got in a cab and took a short ride ($8 including tip) to the seaport. The Norway, once upon a time the largest cruise ship in the world, was docked right next to the Explorer and looked like a shrimp boat by comparison. We left our bags with the porter, who reminded us that we’d best tip him now as we wouldn’t see him again, so I gave him a couple of bucks. We got into a long line at the metal detectors before we could get in the long line to check in. I waved my gold card around but no dice—you needed to be Chairman’s Club to bypass the line. Clowns entertained us while we waited and we finally got to the front of the line where we were directed to stand behind two other couples in a new line, throwing a glitch into the multi-server queue algorithm. They forgot to take Hunnybear’s Canadian passport and we got stopped going up the escalator and had to return and wait some more. Finally we were cleared to board, got our welcome picture snapped, and stepped across the threshold onto the ship.

Our cabin was on deck 2, the lowest passenger deck. We found it right next to the stairway and when we opened the door we were stunned. It was enormous! We had lucked into a handicapped-accessible cabin almost twice as large as a standard one! The bathroom was sprawling and, if we didn’t accidentally hit the “emergency call” button right next to the “flush” button, we were going to have a great time here. It was time to eat so we went up to deck 11 to the Windjammer buffet for some lunch. There wasn’t much of a line but a small sign proclaimed that the same food was available at another buffet station behind this one so we went there and found it completely vacant. I had a double hamburger and a little piece of yummy Atlantic salmon while Hunnybear made herself a salad. As a rule I don’t eat dessert but they had little fruit tarts, which Hunnybear likes, so I ate one for her along with a little piece of orange spice cake. We picked up what we thought were two glasses of water but they turned out to be lemonade so we went off in search of water and eventually had to have the attendant guarding the water station make the glasses for us.

We explored the ship after lunch and found it just incredible. The Explorer holds 3800 passengers and 1200 crew. It has three large dining rooms, theaters, an ice-skating rink, rock-climbing wall, and a huge atrium with shopping mall. A controversial innovation for cruise ships, the Explorer has a gourmet restaurant available for a surcharge of $20/person as well as a full Johnny Rocket’s restaurant, also for an extra charge. The ship was full of kids, it being Thanksgiving week, and there was plenty for them to do. They had half a deck off-limits to adults for them to play in. For us big kids, the casino was enormous and had a whole bank of dollar and quarter video-poker machines as well as a zillion slots and table games. We would visit there after sailing. We browsed some nice photographs in the art store and then heard the final announcement for the lifeboat drill so we donned our life vests and mustered. That ordeal over, the fun part of the cruise could begin!

The ship launched 45 minutes late due to some late-arriving passengers and we saw it pull away from the deck-14 Crown Viking Lounge. I was eager to get to the business center because there was a notice that they had something called the “CyberCabin” in which I could get unlimited Internet access from my room! It didn’t have a price tag though and I figured it would be 2-3 times as much as broadband in a hotel, which was $10 a day, so I mentally decided I’d pay up to $200 for a week of the service. It turned out to be only $100 so I immediately signed up and got a special phone and instructions. I didn’t set it up yet because the casino was opening and I wanted to check out the video poker before it filled up. We changed for the evening and went to the casino, deciding what our favorite machine would be. We won $10 playing quarter ducks and then went over to dinner, conveniently located in the Vasco da Gama dining room on the same deck as the casino. We were at table 478, an eight-top as requested. Our waitress was a pretty young Hungarian girl named Zsuzsa. She explained that it was the same name as Zsa-Zsa Gabor, but Zsa-Zsa had changed it to be more pronounceable by Americans and Zsuzsa didn’t collect husbands. Our tablemates were Larry and Shirley from Atlantic City, Paul and Rhonda from Sarasota, Florida, and a very good-looking couple from Malta who couldn’t speak English or anything else that we spoke, just Maltese, which I didn’t even know was a language just a cross and a falcon. Paul and Rhonda were drinking huge martinis so I ordered one too.

I started with a good Vidalia onion tart followed by a standard chicken consommé (everyone else had a superb cream of tomato soup). The spinach salad was also standard and I passed on the penne pasta. We took Zsuzsa’s recommendation and had the prime rib, which came out wonderfully with the world’s spiciest horseradish. As a rule I don’t eat dessert but they had a chocolate almond cake so I just got one small slice à la mode.

Larry was a blackjack player so we retired to the casino and played some. The table was cold as an iceberg though and we all got hoovered. Hunnybear went to bed and I played a little ducks to no avail before retiring myself.


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I hope you enjoy my Lion Tales. For photos, past travelogues, subscriptions, and more, see www.liontales.com

[This message has been edited by QuietLion (edited 11-19-2000).]

[This message has been edited by QuietLion (edited 11-19-2000).]

So she was docked next to the Majesty of the Seas and the Grandeur of the Seas??

The Norway, originally the SS France, is still the longest ship on the planet. She will be unfortunately retired next year, on a sixteen day journey from Florida to Southhampton. She was an interesting cross: old-world luxury liner meet modern-day cruise ship. Yet she was a pain to operate as she couldn't operate in shallow areas, making it necessary to tender in virtually every port. And she was really ugly after painted with those bright blue NCL funnels a couple years ago.

"Enjoy your voyage on the magnificant Explorer of the Seas"

Wish you and the beautiful Hunnybear very SMOOTH SAILING!

Maybe you two could get a shot copying the lovely Kate Winset and that little boy actor doing the scene in Titanic where they are riding the mast! http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

FOUR PAWS UP Reports, as usual LION! http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

But QL is already the "King of the World." http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/biggrin.gif

Sorry folks, we try to avoid any references to that ship, movie, or songstress any time, but especially while sailing!

NEWSELF, just for certainty, I did NOT mean "you just have to be there" as an invitation! http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif

Hope you have a good time.

I once went on a cruise with Sugarbear, but he kept talking like Perry Como and wouldn't eat anything other than Super Sugar Crisp cereal.

Appy Bursary

The casino aboard the Explorer was as large and classy a one as I had seen afloat. The theme was old Vegas and signs from early Vegas casinos decorated walls and slot carousels: Dunes, Flamingo, “Starburst” done in the Stardust logo—they all made me feel right at home. Today was a sailing day en route to Labadee and they were having a slot tournament at 11 so I went up to the casino around 10:30 (6:30 LA time) and signed up then started playing ducks until it was time. Royal Caribbean allows customers to get cash in the casino and add it to the room account, thus earning frequent-flyer miles if paying with a mileage-earning credit card, so I took out a loan since I hadn’t brought much cash with me and didn’t care to pay the hefty $5 fee for the satellite ATM. I had about the best luck possible on the Deuces Wild machine short of hitting one of the big scores. I had six Wild Royal Flushes, four of them dealt to me, one picked up holding a single Deuce, and one after throwing away garbage! But when it came time for the slot tournament I hit absolutely nothing, finishing with 200 points versus the 2000 needed to qualify. I do better at games where intelligence helps.

It was time to eat so we went up to the buffet and had some curried chicken that was kind of dry. As a rule I don’t eat dessert but they had leftover almond chocolate cake from last night so I had one more piece and found the ice-cream station to dollop some soft-serve onto it. We found the water station and filled some glasses ourselves as an attendant scurried over and gave me a disapproving look, wanting to fill the glasses himself.

After lunch Hunnybear and I went up to the pool. It was the first time I’d felt crowded on this massive vessel. Kids were running around everywhere and most of the deck chairs were being illegally reserved by people with a scarcity mentality. We found two we liked and took the towels off them so we could put our own on. It was very windy because the ship was traveling at a good clip. We enjoyed the breeze and sun for a while and then I went back to the casino to play some more Deuces while Hunnybear relaxed in the sun. I played for awhile and finished exactly even.

We relaxed in the cabin and then dressed for the formal evening. I finished first so I went up to play just a few hands of Deuces Wild while I waited for Hunnybear and sure enough—I hit the four ducks for 1000 quarters! The machine beeped forever and then started spitting out coins like they were closing down the mint. The hopper ran out and they had to refill it. Just then, Hunnybear came up, a vision of loveliness in the white dress I had bought her for our last cruise, and squealed with delight when she saw the Deuces. We each carried a full tub of coins to the cashier and then went to the captain’s cocktail party.

With this many passengers the party could not be contained in just one lounge so it was held all throughout the promenade where the shops and ice-cream parlor were located. We grabbed some free champagne but it was a little sweet for my taste so we went to the Maharajah lounge to get me a free martini instead. Then two trumpeters in tails came out on a bridge overlooking the promenade and played a fanfare. They played it twice, pointing once in each direction, and then the cruise director Ken came out to tell us to stand still and avoid traffic during the captain’s speech. Fortunately there was a stairway down to the casino so we exited post haste before the captain actually started speaking. We played a little more ducks before dinner but didn’t hit anything.

Tonight was the captain’s gala dinner. I started with a yummy shrimp cocktail and the headwaiter came by to ask if I wanted another serving since it was expensive. I passed since I had ordered several more dishes. I tried the lobster bisque although normally I don’t eat cream soups and it was good. The Caesar salad was standard but both the filet mignon, which Hunnybear ordered, and the duck l’orange, which I had, were excellent. We ordered a bottle of Larane Oregon pinot noir as an excellent accompaniment to dinner. Paul and Rhonda didn’t show but our friends from Malta started talking more and we found out their names were Sandro and Josette. They both worked as operators in an electronics factory and were on their honeymoon after a six-year courtship. As a rule I don’t eat dessert but I tried the strawberry Napoleon with a little scoop of ice cream and then Larry got a birthday cake served to him because his birthday was this year so I ordered a three more scoops of ice cream to go with it. The waiters all gathered around and sang Appy Bursary to You. This got them off the hook regardless of whether it was a birthday or anniversary. We all joined in and sang Appy Bursary.

After dinner we went to the casino to play some blackjack with Larry but the table was still ice cold and I got hoovered again so we went over to the duck pond and Hunnybear played some while I watched. Nothing quacking tonight so we went down to the cabin to rest up for our beach day tomorrow.


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I hope you enjoy my Lion Tales. For photos, past travelogues, subscriptions, and more, see www.liontales.com

As a rule, I don't congratulate people on great trip reports, but - great trip report.

http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/biggrin.gif

Greg