Misadventures of a spoiled brat
 

It all started off simply enough. I needed pajamas. And as a fairly fashion conscious travel geek, the ‘right’ thing to do was to book a few flights in First to add to my large (size, not quantity) collection of Emirates, Etihad and Qatar PJs.

Then, it all got a little more complicated.

The FTer in me realized I ought to maximize sectors, so as to make astronauts flying to the International Space Station feel like all they were really doing was driving to the WalMart down the street.

It also dawned on me that if my parents ever found out I was jetting around in premium cabins, they would either disown me or skin me alive, or both. As it stands, I think my mother is exploring the very real possibility of admitting me to a mental institution. I’ll tell you why a little bit later.

Anyway, so here I am, planning out my itinerary, when eightblack, our EK forum moderator, says I’ve become far too arrogant and spoiled and need to experience how the other half lives. Ok, I say, I’ll do a sector on United. In First.

I’d never flown United before this, and I pretty much had no intention of ever doing so. I thought a 4 hour jaunt to Hong Kong would be about as much as I can handle, and since I hadn’t set foot on a 747 in over a decade, I thought I’d give it a shot. So that’s what I’m starting off with. Then it’s supposed to get better, before everything gets worse.

It’s 3 am Singapore time. I need to leave in an hour. I should probably start packing.

Now this I can't wait to hear...all I know is that the US Air consultant who did your award ticketing is now in therapy. An hour on the phone! What on earth could you possibly talk about for so long?

You need to let us know the itinerary up front so we can avoid running into you. We have enough arm waving old people like me as it is...

Good luck. I fear that we have created a monster...:)

Looking forward to seeing how this pans out.

hehe, nice start!

Can't wait for the trip to start! Promising start!

Hah! Now this sounds like a trip report worth subscribing to! Can't wait to read how it pans out.

This ought to be good. Keep us posted!

When I got to Changi T3 at 4 am, it was a ghost town. Nonetheless, the UA check-in counters were guarded more heavily than the vaults at Gringotts Bank.

First layer of security: ‘Sir, are you flying in First, Business’ – I zoned out after that‘ - or Economy’.
Me: ‘Yes’ – and after realizing that Economy was more than a figment of my imagination – ‘First’.

At the second layer of security the Americans wanted to know if I’d packed my bags myself and whether someone had asked me to carry anything for them. The strange part was that I wasn’t flying to the States.

Once it was decided I was not a threat to national security, they let me through to the First check-in desk. While the agent struggled to check me into each of my flights, I looked around for the hundreds of bleary-eyed passengers lining up at the Economy queues, looking longingly at the F counter. Sadly, there were none. Yes, there was probably a schmuck or two at the 1K line trying to figure out what upgrade instrument I’d used (come on, we all know no one pays for UA F), but that was about it.

The agent clicked away at his computer and told me he couldn’t check my bags all the way to my final destination, because the final flight was over 24 hours away. In fact, I was spending 48 hours getting to my final destination. ‘It’s a long journey’ he said, as if that was a bad thing.

Now one of the things I was looking forward to on this leg was the only non-UA element – the SQ SKL First lounge. Getting there was a bit of a challenge, because you have to endure walking past the UA lounge, the Krisflyer Gold lounge and the SKL Business section.

When I finally got to the First section, I was the only person there, and actually thought it was closed. The F load on my flight alone was 10/ 12, so clearly there were 9 not so smart people in the cabin.

I proceeded to have the longest shower of my life, and then spent the remainder of the time wondering why there was absolutely no concept of service in this lounge. And why the only champagne they could afford to offer was Nicholas Feuillatte.

Speaking of champagne, I was quite impressed that United had real (=French) champagne. The FA walks up to me several minutes after I’ve seated myself, tray with plastic cups of liquids (unless it’s fizzing and golden I don’t care what it is), asking if I’d like a pre departure beverage.

‘A glass of your finest bubbly please’. Well, it’s only Piper Heidsieck, but it’s better than water from a plastic cup. ‘Sorry sir, we can’t serve that before departure, something to do with alcohol duties’ comes the reply. What she really meant is that we’re such a cheap airline that we won’t even pay duty on one bottle of cheap champagne so that our First customers can have a drink of their choice and pass out sooner.

Apart from that little incident, though, the flight actually went very well. The Purser, Cathy, went around greeting everyone by name and taking meal orders. Despite being a statusless newbie on United, I got my first preference. The gentleman working the F cabin asked if he could hang my jacket, and I actually had that glass of champagne in my hand 30 seconds after the seat belt sign had gone off. The waffles, though I expected them to be soggy, were perfectly done. The meal trays were cleared within 30 seconds of my finishing my meal, and crew were always around the cabin. Even the captain came on several times to explain when and why we would experience turbulence, and I really couldn’t understand why all these FTers complain about such a fine airline (scoff).

By the time we got to Hong Kong, I must admit my opinion of United had changed greatly. Still wouldn’t fly them in Y – in fact hardly anyone did on my flight. I wondered why as I walked through the cabin, till I turned around to walk back to 2K and realized there was one TV screen for every 50 seats in the cabin. It’s funny that the F load was the highest of all cabins on this flight. Which does beg the obvious question – why are they switching this route to an aircraft without an F cabin?

It’s time for a day trip to Hong Kong, cut short by poor weather, but that makes for an elaborate comparison of the various Star Alliance lounges at HKIA. Stay tuned.

^Enjoying it so far.
Tell me why do you need a L PG? you need XS

We all know about mileage runs, but a pajama run, nice idea!

Starting laughing after the comment about collecting pjs.

3-days have passed and no updates. Maybe's he's passed out somewhere. Pity really. He was quite smart...

Ung1, where are you? Are you alive? Did you get kicked out of the FCT in FRA? We're sending out a search party if we don't hear from you by Christmas...

I see the development of "8back jr."

FT need more relaxing and fun reads.

Has anyone gotten kicked out of the FCT before? Tht would sure be something wite about :P