Me too. I don't have categories of people who can call me by my first and who cannot. Friends, family, acquintances, business clients, CEOs, subordinates, TSA screeners, little kids, older people, whoever can all call me by my first name.

See, I'm with you on every single one of these -- except the TSA screeners. It's presumptuous of strangers to use your first name, I think. I don't do it to other people, and it make me uncomfortable when they do it to me.

People I know, even a little bit -- even if it's only because I'm a regular at the diner or in their checkout line -- can call me by my first name all they want. But the cable guy I've never seen before and will never see again? Nope. We are not friends, or even acquaintances. We're strangers. Hrrmph.

Really, I'm NOT a prude. Am I?

OK, I must be... :(

Well he mellowed with time. He never did eat in the kitchen though, always in the dining room. This I know he got from his upbringing.

Being Addressed By One’s First Name - Is This a Trend?

In Australia this is absolutely normal and pretty much automatic.

Has been for 100 years. :)

In fact when I phone banks etc here to query something the usual phone etiquette is:

Thanks for your password verification - may I call you Glen?

I am following this and the other thread for a while now and think that it is a matter of politeness to NOT call a stranger by the first name (or even worse nickname) unless he has introduced himself by first name only or "You can call me <firstname>."

It may be common in some countries (including USA and OZ) but in others it is not, like in most parts of Europe. Especially people working with clients from all over the world like TSA screeners should better play safe than sorry, ie. referring to the pax as Sir/Madam.

It strikes me as very funny that in the land of politcal correctness in so many things (sometimes weird to strangers) people address other people by nicknames the first - and probably only- time they meet each other.

Cheers,
Torsten

Honestly, I don't like it when any stranger calls me by name, first or last. I don't like it when the Sam's cashier hands me the receipt and addresses me as Mrs. (which I am not, anyway) or when people I don't know call me by my first name. I prefer to be an anonymous stranger conducting a transaction.

Be polite and treat me with respect and deal with my transaction efficiently, but there's no need to know who I am. (Esepcially since I don't know their names, either.)

Along the same lines, I really don't care that my waiter's name is Steve, either.

A friend of mine is further annoyed by being referred to by name. Her name is Kimberly. When cashiers hand back her card, saying "Thank you, Kim," it totally steams her because they just assume she goes by a nickname. It's not only assumed familiarity, it's assumed close familiarity.

I'd much rather be a polite stranger.

Flyer, I'm happy it doesn't bother you, as it seems to be the (unfortunate) norm. But I think there's nothing sweeter than hearing my name on a loved one's lips, and I resent sharing that with TSA staffers, telemarketers and cashiers whom I will never encounter again.

I was traveling in remote China earlier this year, NO ONE spoke English and I'd been having some difficulties trying to purchase a ticket. I crossed a busy street, head down, in the rain. And then I heard a joyful "Catherine"! It was a friend I'd met in Lijiang a few weeks before. My heart just LEAPT to hear a friendly voice call out my name.

I know it sounds weird but a one-off with a stranger somehow cheapens that.

Wow! I'm amazed that people here seem to take this so seriously. There must be some underlying reason for it that I'm missing - because I don't believe that most of you are so insecure that the pseudo-respect implied by being addressed in a particular way by some random stranger makes a difference to you.

"Honestly, I don't like it when any stranger calls me by name, first or last. I don't like it when the Sam's cashier hands me the receipt and addresses me as Mrs. (which I am not, anyway) or when people I don't know call me by my first name. I prefer to be an anonymous stranger conducting a transaction."

Are you honestly this high on yourself that you get uppity when someone addresses you by the identifier that was given to you so someone could identify you and let you know who they are talking to? Seriously, do you have any idea how pompous it is to look down on someone who is probably working for minimum wage who is just trying to be nice? Get over yourself. You prefer to be anonymous? Stay in your house and have a car service drop groceries by your front door. The problem here isn't other people, it's your own personal issues. Perhaps you should feel lucky that they aren't calling you something else.

"Be polite and treat me with respect and deal with my transaction efficiently, but there's no need to know who I am. (Esepcially since I don't know their names, either.)"

Do you really think that the cashier at Sam's is keeping track of who you are. Take the tin foil hat off. They obviously don't know you otherwise they probably wouldn't bother talking to you. Again, get over yourself.

"Along the same lines, I really don't care that my waiter's name is Steve, either."

Self-centered much? It's nice that you are so shallow that you care so little about the person who is giving you service that you don't bother to take notice of his first name. When you need something what are you going to do? Hey you! Hey buddy! You, over there. No, not you! No him! :rolleyes: Also, how exactly are you going to give feedback to the restaurant when something good/bad happens. Are you going to tell the maitre d' that some guy/girl who looked like a waiter gave you great service.

"A friend of mine is further annoyed by being referred to by name. Her name is Kimberly. When cashiers hand back her card, saying "Thank you, Kim," it totally steams her because they just assume she goes by a nickname. It's not only assumed familiarity, it's assumed close familiarity."

No, it assumes that most people go by Kim, not Kimberly. It's like being on a plane wanting water. Most people want ice in it. I don't, so I ask for water no ice. I don't begrudge the flight attendant (who, by the way, can know my first name and I could care less) for thinking that it will be ice water. The person was trying to be nice. Someone who wasn't a self-righteous snob would know this.

"I'd much rather be a polite stranger."

I think there you just mean polite. Did you ever stop to think that the problem here might be your own pompousness? Get over yourself. You were given a name so you can be referred to by others when needed. Much like there's a number on your credit card.

Apologies if this is somewhere else in this thread. I didn't read all 9 pages. Generally, I would prefer to be called by name instead of "sir." However, I go by my middle name and am often annoyed when someone is not only presumptuous to call me by my first name "James," but they take it to the next level and call me "Jim." But I don't get angry or in their face, I simply correct them.

I'm really not offended either way. If someone wants to call me Mr. Redbeard, I'm okay with it. What is a little more offputting is younger people (adolescent on down) calling older people by their first name. I've been okay with the Mr. <firstname> concent. I think it's a little warmer but still respectful.

My pet peeve is when complete scumbags are given the "Mr." title when referred to in the media. :mad: Just state their first and last name.

No, I am not. And your post tells you way more about you than I care to know.

I'm quite insulted by your post. I am stating my opinions and you throw out a bunch of insults, making grave accusations that aren't remotely true. It's borderline slanderous.

I am an extremely private person. I am also polite and respectful to everyone I work with, people who range from minimum wage janitors to multi-million-dollar athletes. I treat them all the same.

But I deal with them on a regular basis. For people I don't know and won't see again, I do not wish to have them know my name, and it is not necessary for me to know theirs.

I am perfectly fine to address people as "Miss," "M'am," "Mister" or "Sir." As in, "Excuse me, Sir, but I am ready to order when I get a chance" or "Thank you M'am, for helping me fix the problem."

A one-time meeting does not constitute a "need to know" in my book.

Obviously, this is a sore subject for you and I respect that. But you should respect my opinions,.

You are so far off-base on your judgment of me that you're not even in the same ballpark.

A quote I ran across from a Robert Heinlein(sp?) novel:
Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. Honorifics and formal politeness provide lubrication where people rub together. Often the very young, the untraveled, the naive, the unsophisticated deplore these formalities as `empty,' `meaningless,' or `dishonest,' and scorn to use them. No matter how `pure' their motives, they thereby throw sand into machinery that does not work too well at best.

As a medical doctor, while in the professional setting, I always intoduce myself as "Dr. Schwarm" and call the patient "Mr.; Ms.; Mrs.; Dr.; Your Excellency," etc. as appropriate (if over the age of about 15). A set of patients (usually the highly anxious and generally on the more affluent side) repeatedly revert back to first name, even though I make every reasonable attempt to continue with the honorifics. I have to say that I have a very negative visceral reaction to this (although not enough to affect their care, I hope).

In non-professional settings, I do not use "Doctor." All my credit cards, etc., say "Mr." I certainly don't make reservations as "Dr." Occasionally, a hotel will get me on profile as "Dr. Schwarm." (Perhaps if a reservation is made for a medical meeting.) I have a similar, although opposite, visceral reaction in this setting. Outside the office, I'd much prefer to be called by my first name!