Being Addressed By One’s First Name - Is This a Trend?
 

I have noticed that more and more, I am being addressed by my first name by people who are unfamiliar to me, both on the telephone and in person, whether the people are personnel of an airline, lodging or car rental corporation. Fewer people address me by my last name, preceded by “Mr.”

Have other people experienced this? Is this a trend? Is this not formal enough or not casual enough? Is it a way to make doing business friendlier? Is this issue minor or major to you? Do you consider it rude and impolite or an improved way to doing business? Is it poor manners or socially-acceptable behaviour?

Personally, sometimes I do not mind, but other times it annoys me. I ask this question merely out of curiosity as to what other FlyerTalkers think about this issue.

This is probably an Omni type of reply, but I had my grocer refer to me by my first name the other day. It really caught me by surprise. I have to say, there are times when I'd prefer to remain annymous.

Same here. I don't agree with the practice but mostly I tolerate it unless I'm on my PMS. Case in point, calling a young doctor Dr. while he/she calls me by my fist name.

Personally, it doesn't bother me at all. But then consider that I:

1. Am American
2. Am under the age of 30
3. Was raised on the west coast.

I suppose that all those things do have an influence...

Oh, and to answer the question, yes -- I think it's becoming more and more common.

I ask the question because there are threads such as this one which, for example, ask what attire one should wear when in First Class on an airplane.

It seems that the more I travel, the more of a familiar license travel industry personnel seem to feel they have when addressing me, whether I am an occasional customer or the highest-tier elite member.

Should this practice be accepted regardless of etiquette, or are there limits that those in the travel industry should follow when addressing their customers?

I agree with you, Canarsie. I am noticing this too, especially when I call customer service lines recently.

It doesn't bother me, but it seems a bit awkward because I use the first name on an informal basis, and use the "Mr./ Mrs. / Ms." with someone in a more formal, business like situation.

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"If life doesn't offer a game worth playing, then invent a new one."
-Anthony J. D'Angelo

Originally posted by Chasethemiles:

Same here. I don't agree with the practice but mostly I tolerate it unless I'm on my PMS. Case in point, calling a young doctor Dr. while he/she calls me by my fist name.

This is mostly a problem with U.S. doctors talking to female patients, who traditionally have been treated more paternalistically. It is a lot less common with doctors talking to MALE patients, unless they've known them for years. A corollary is where some male patients address male doctors as "Dr. ___ " but then try and first-name female doctors, especially if they are younger. There may be a little bit of a power play going on here.

This sort of thing (both in the travel business and in other settings, such as medicine) has been going on for years in the U.S. but does appear to be getting more common. Businesses think it's friendly. Most customers don't mind, perhaps some like being first-named by strangers have their age. My elderly mother, however, who was raised in Europe (where this was unheard of) is an example of someone who finds it deeply offensive, and she will refuse to answer if she is called by her first name in a waiting room, or addressed by her first name by a salesgirl.
If you don't like the practice, you can either do the same, or politely correct the person addressing you to indicate what you would like to be called. Or write a letter to customer service of the organization.

I've been bothered by this for 25 years or more. I decided then, that if the doctor calls me by my first name, I'd call him by his.

It makes me feel pretty good.

I do think it's a trend. An unfortunate one.

But a counter trend I am noticing is when I've gone to a new doctor (usually a specialist) there's a blank on the intake sheet to specify how I'd like to be addressed.

BTW, I'm American, 41, raised on the West Coast (and with plenty of manners, I might add. http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/wink.gif)

An akin disturbing trend is how some of my classmates, esp. the 18-22 undergrads as opposed to the older returning students, address the instructors as "Mr./Ms." rather than Professor. So far, I've never had a professor instruct me to do otherwise. And a friend of mine who is a professor of physical chemistry is really cheesed off by this trend as well.

There was a similar thread in OMNI a few months ago...

http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttr...ML/014012.html

While we're on a roll about being addressed, my biggest pet peeve with Safeway, my grocery store of choice, is that they always say, "Thank you, essxjay" when they had over the receipt. (My name is on the receipt because I use their club card.) That situation in particular I prefer to remain anonymous. So my choices are to pay higher prices or get the store discounts and be identified publicly. http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttr...orum/frown.gif

[QUOTE]Originally posted by essxjay:
BTW, I'm American, 41, raised on the West Coast (and with plenty of manners, I might add.)


I don't think that being formal or familiar has as much to do with manners as it does with the customs around which one is raised. IME, Americans tend to be less formal than Europeans, younger people tend to be less formal than older people, and West Coasters tend to be less formal than East Coasters.

Where manners do come into play are scenarios where a person has asked to be addressed in a certain way and someone refuses to comply.

Maybe I'm just too egalitarian. http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttr...um/biggrin.gif

Or just type in my ex-girlfriends phone number! http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/wink.gif She lives in the lower 48 and I live in Alaska, and it still works just fine.

There have been a few occasions when I have been seating in J or F and an FA will ask me if I prefer to be called by my last name or is it ok to address me by my first name. If I say I want to be addressed as "Mrs. O2k", I feel as if I am being snotty, so I always say, it's fine to address me by my first name. I feel that the FA should refer to me by my last name and it should be up to me to say, "please call me by my first name."

I found a very interesting contrast between American, European and Asian attitudes towards names during a trip YYZ-AMS-BOM in February on KLM and Northwest in World Business Clas.

On the first sector with the Dutch KLM crew, I was addressed as "Mister Mendis". On the second sector with a mixed American and Indian NWA crew, I was addressed as "Sean" by the American crewmembers and "Mister Mendis Sir" by the Indian crew.

I'd personally prefer to be called Mr. Mendis until I know someone well enough to call THEM by their first name. I was always taught that when in doubt one should err on the side of formality, but I've noticed that the North American trend seems to be the other way.