Falsely accused and relocated
 

I was travelling Dubai to Seattle and selected a bulk head seat for advanced leg room. There was a lady travelling with an infant, along with another lady and her child seated in our row. Upon boarding the female with the infant asked me if I could switch my seats with her husband as they wish to sit together. Considering that this is a very long flight and Im very tall (6"4') I politely declined for the extra leg room since the husband was seated further up in a window seat.

Within a few hours of my journey I was told that by the FA that this passenger is feeling uncomfortable because she was nursing her baby. Basically without directly pointing fingers I was accused of staring at her [Moderator edit]. The FA told me that it is in everyones best interests that to relocate my seat and was sent to another aisle seat down the corridor. I politely protested and it fell on deaf ears so eventually complied with her instructions.

However a few hours later I notice that the husband has now conveniently relocated himself to my original seat. I called the FA to show her what's going on but she didn't seem to care as apparently the matter was resolved and still seem to side with the lady hinting that I might have been "looking at her side unknowingly and these things happen." It seemed like she was preoccupied with her duties and didn't bother trying to connect the dots or hear my side of story.

Did I got taken for a ride or was this justified?

Did she come out and actually accuse you?

Probably just one of those things where the new mom manipulated the situation.

You got taken for a ride, but there's nothing you can do about it now (and very little you could have done then). Best to just let it go.

If it really bothers you, you can always write a letter to the airline complaining that the flight attendant removed you from your chosen seat, apparently due to a baseless accusation on the part of your neighbor, and didn't have the guts to tell you what was going on.

At the time, I would have looked the FA right in the eye and asked clearly "Are you accusing me of staring at this lady's boobs while she is feeding her baby?" It being me, I would have then announced that my boyfriend wouldn't appreciate such behavior on my part. :D

What was the airline? Do you have status or did you pay extra for the bulkhead seat?

Falsely accused and relocated
 

My question as well. What was this carrier's flag?

OP had to be on Emirates flight 229.

Nothing you can do about it now. You got hosed.

Falsely accused and relocated
 

My point exactly. Pax discrimination on MANY levels.

You got screwed. Agree that the woman manipulated he situation and intentionally made you look bad. Is she a crap person, yes. Do you have much recourse with the airline, probably not.

Yeah I was flying with Emirates. What really sucks how it all played out. The other lady with her kid, I was super nice to her and stowed her luggage. She witnessed the first time the husband approached me for the seat. But when the time came up she never spoke up for me instead acted oblivious.
It seemed they all sided with each other somehow understanding each others experiences of being a woman and assumed that I was definitely the bad guy in here leering lusciously at her cleavage..... Some men I tell you.

File a complaint. And don't fly Emirates again.

Falsely accused and relocated
 

OP: Sorry about your experience. But be glad she didn't accuse you of groping her. Could have been a lot worse.

Can't really fault the FA that much as they aren't in the position to know what really happened and have to take both sides' stories at face value.

On a purely rational level it makes sense for the airline to move the guy in that scenario. If that lady writes a complaint going: "A pervert stared at my breasts as I was breast-feeding on my flight and Emirates ignored it even though I complained!", true or false, the possible impact is gonna be a lot higher than some dude going "I got relocated against my wishes".

It is a tough situation, with no real way to win. These days, it is not hard to get arrested after landing if you ignore the FA's demands. Especially as a man and involving any accusations of sexual inappropriateness. You just can't win after being accused of anything like that, your best hope is to not lose big.

I guess your best chance was to be very polite, very quiet and friendly and simply ask for the purser and explain your side. But at some point, right or wrong, if the FA's tell you to do something you have to do it, or risk an arrest after landing.

The airline should have told the woman to cover herself or go to the toilet. Did she change the baby's diapers at her seat as well?

I couldn't agree more with this statement. If the OP could potentially see her breasts then others could as well, making it a baseless complaint for her own convenience. I understand people have to travel with babies but they should make every effort not inconvenie others as well.

Complaint is an understatement.

As OP could possibly be prosecuted criminally, if I was the OP, I would simply file a lawsuit.

I would have asked for a second meal, then after make a few crop dusting pass by's after the husband took the seat. Maybe an evil eye or two.

Go to the toilet? Do you eat in the toilet?

Since this person (I won't call her a lady) filed a false complaint, the toilet is really where she belongs.

If she's concerned about people looking at her breast's when she exposes them for everyone to see and doesn't cover herself up as most breast feeding mother's do in public....what's your problem with suggesting that she use the toilet for privacy if she's complaining about about someone looking at her breast's? What else do you think passenger's on a plane use the toilet for ?

Prosecuted, for what? The OP himself said that the only thing the woman said was that "she was uncomfortable." As far as I can tell, the notion of the OP being accused of doing anything inappropriate was inferred by the OP, not implied by the woman or the FA. The woman could simply have expressed her feeling about being uncomfortable in breast feeding her baby while sitting immediately next to a man she didn't know. I would bet that a lot of women would feel that way, and in doing so in no way implies that the man did anything wrong.

It's a tough call. One part of me says that if the situation was that important to the woman and her family, they should have done whatever was necessary to get seat assignments together. But given that that didn't happen, she can't just not feed the baby for the duration of the flight (that would be the remedy for other such problems, such as not being able to talk to the husband for the flight - you just have to do without if you didn't do what you needed to do to sit together). I think the best thing to do in this particular situation would have been to take care of it in the lav, all things considered.

As far as a lawsuit, what are the damages that would be recovered, and from whom?

Falsely accused and relocated
 

The complainant appears to be a self-serving narcissist believing her emotions and comfort are more important than her fellow passengers.

I think that sometimes you just have to accept that you are in a no-win situation. No point in escalating the whole event. It all sounds like a storm in a teacup to me.

OP: I'm sorry you lost the extra leg room you had planned for, but in your situation I would've been glad not to have to sit in a row with two small children.

I have carefully read the OP's posts, and I see nowhere that he says the woman was actually exposing herself. Unless you can show me where he said otherwise, I'm going to have to conclude that you're just making all this up to grandstand.

Would YOU eat in the lav? If not, how can you suggest that someone else do so?

Then she should go somewhere more private. If not the lav, I'm sure the flight attendants would allow her to do it in a galley for a few minutes. She shouldn't have the OP removed from his seat.

The law in most of the civilized countries is that breastfeeding mothers cannot be prevented from breastfeeding, nor be compelled to relocate because of a complainer or someone exhibiting signs of "discomfort." I'm willing to bet Emirates has a policy similar to these laws. Most airlines do.

you're really missing the point here.

Nobody was preventing her from breastfeeding. Nobody was compelling her to relocate, nobody complained or showed any signs of discomfort. The problem was all hers, if she was uncomfortable she should have moved somewhere else to feed the child.

Why didn't she offer to change seats with whoever was next to her husband? I think the answer to that is pretty obvious.

No, I'm not. The suggestions that the woman should feed her child in the lav are ludicrous.

If the OP's story is accurate, it does indeed appear that she took advantage of the situation. OP probably should have seen it coming. I understand why OP did not want to swap his seat, but there was perhaps an opportunity to engage GA/FA when the request was made to see if something equitable could have been arranged. Tiny child, separated parents - little good was going to come of that if OP stayed where he was.

Double post. See below.

Sorry, I added more to my post as you were responding.

The suggestion that the male passenger move because of the mother's confected discomfort are ludicrous.

Nowhere does the OP suggest that the mother be prevented from breastfeeding nor that she be relocated to do it. He wasn't the 'complainer' or the one 'exhibiting signs of discomfort'. From what I got from his post, he wasn't even aware she was breastfeeding and was in no way looking at the woman's breasts, be they exposed or covered. She falsely accused him of doing so and demanded HE be relocated. Likely not from any sense of modesty or embarrassment but, in all likelihood because she wanted HIS seat for her husband and was angry that he had refused her request to swap earlier.

[Unduly personalized text edited by Moderator per FT Rules.] I think most of us agree with and support that sentiment. Including the OP from what it sounds like as he didn't have any objection to staying in his seat while she breastfed her child. But she has no right to demand he move because she (claims that she) feels uncomfortable feeding her child while seated beside him on public transport. If she feels uncomfortable, then she can move. But I think we all suspect what was really going on here and it wasn't what she claimed.

No doubt. [Unduly personalized text edited by Moderator per FT Rules.]

Agreed. See my edit above.

I'd like to see what would happen if OP had said something like "I'm gay and believe me those are of no interest to me."

based on OPs description, I don't think he was at fault at all; rather that he was in a no-win situation. But you are free to see things however you like.

As a woman, I am so sorry that the OP had to suffer for the woman's manipulation of her right to breastfeed. I don't know the answer. It is true that women who breastfeed have been leered at and made uncomfortable. That does not make it right for a woman to manipulate the situation. I am sorry but I do not see a way for the OP to have won when he should have been able to save his seat. Maybe in the future.

BSBD, from your user name, I can tell we're brothers.
But from your post on this matter, we're third cousins.
This seems to be purely a false accusations to manipulate a situation.
A mild version of a Duke lacrosse case.
The only difference being, the woman stopped short of breaking any laws...

Blue skies.

This. Pretty much this. ^

Hail and well-met! Nice to see another non-whuffo here.


Not sure how we're disagreeing. Here's what I posted a ways back:

Can you tell me how that makes us disagree?