I agree it's the passenger's right to recline, and the OP is clearly exaggerating. If, however, the reclining seat did push the car seat to an unsafe position, it seems like a reasonable request to limit recline. Sure, the OP needs to get a new baby seat, etc., but is likely not a frequent flier. Sometimes you don't realize the mistake until you get on the plane. Again, if it really were unsafe, and already in the air, I'm pretty sure a FA would side with the OP. Safety comes before some minor entitlement.

Often in this anonymous forum we focus so much on "personal rights" that we forget the human response should simply be "I'm sorry, I can certainly recline a little less so your baby is safe. Is that better?"

When people stop worrying about every tiny little encroachment of their "rights", the world is generally more pleasant IMO.

My wife and I book aisles across when on a long flight. Makes it more comfortable for both of us and gives us a nice bargaining chip for seat changes if one of us ends up in a bad spot.

The maximum seat recline allowed is not determined by the individual passengers, but by the airline. The airline has decided that it is okay for passengers to recline their seats that far. If you don't like that you need to investigate which airlines have more limited recline or sit in the bulkhead with no one in front of you or in first class. I agree with the prior poster; you were out of line here. The passenger was certainly entitled to recline her seat to the full recline.

As for your sister, the seat should not have been on her lap unless your sister is an extremely large woman. I've frequently have people fully recline in front of me and the seat has come nowhere near my lap.

I will say if I had been reclining and had your baby behind me I absolutely would have gone upright if you asked, but I don't think that you are entitled to expect everyone to accommodate you.

As long as the car seat is allowed by the airline, and is fitted properly on the seat, then it may be a reasonable request. However, I do believe that car seats should face forward, at least on takeoff and while at altitude. In that case, there shouldn't be an issue with the car seat fitting the seat and with the person in front reclining 100%. If someone wants to spin the seat around for landing, then wait until approach, when everyone raises their seatbacks.

The reality is that some seats recline more than they ought to, liekly because they are defective. I was recently on a flight in FC, row 2 with my fiance. The folks in row 1 reclined their seats so far that it was physically impossible for her to put her tray table in place. And yes, they insisted on staying reclined fully during meal service.

True that we didn't buy the space behind their seats, but we also didn't buy a seat that could not function properly (tray table) due to their over-reclining.

And yes, I did physically shove their seat forward in order to get the tray table in place.

There's a point where minor entitlement exceeds micro "safety".

You use rear-facing child seats in cars because the odds are accidents will result in sudden deceleration in the direction of travel.

You use a car seat in a plane because turbulence can result in sudden acceleration towards the ceiling... there's really no benefit to a rear-facing seat on a plane.

It should also be noted that the maximum forward tilt for the lights and air vents above my seat are set by the airline, so I'm sure you would agree that I am well within my rights to point them as far forward as possible, even if they happen to be blowing / shining into the face of the passenger in front of me.

After all, my "right" to do something should in no way be impacted by the possible discomfort that it causes to other passengers, right?

Understood, but for purposes of this discussion, it doesn't matter whether or not a person is "fat", just that they are large.

A relatively small person overall can be "fat" and a relatively huge person can be most definitely "not fat". To take just one example, I would never accuse JJ Watt of being "fat", but I also wouldn't relish the idea of him sitting next to me in economy for a long flight.

The bolded portion is simply false. Misinformation like this is hazardous to the health of traveling infants and young children.

The American Academy of Pediatrics disagrees with you. Anyone who has ever been in an aborted takeoff would also disagree with your flawed analysis. The sudden deceleration of an aborted takeoff can subject a forward facing infant to dangerous forces on their chest, while rear-facing seats spread those forces evenly across the entire body - exactly the reason for rear-facing seats in cars.

I don't disagree with you on the seat. My point was that the FA didn't address that before the flight. When this happens in mid-air, it's a safety issue, caused by the fact that the airline didn't prevent it and the passenger in front made it worse. I'm positive in reading the post that all parties involved acted horribly, but at this point of the flight, the safety issue rules.

As a disclaimer, I don't have children and don't know the first thing about car seats. I'm just commenting on the reality of the situation as described.

I'm curious why you believe that infants should be forward-facing for takeoff and at cruise when the airlines, the FAA and the pediatricians disagree?

for all the anecdotes from people of size who "know" that its unpleasant to be seated next to them, and who know the "tricks" - which aisle seats allow the armrest to move, asking the ga to leave the seat next to them open etc, here's a neat trick: proactively buy 2 seats.
stop forcing the unpleasant experience...stop trying to game the system

While I appreciate all the responses

s) I do fly enough to have experience and may not be frequent but at least 4x per year and have never had anyone else respond like this lady did.

b) The FA was the one, as I said, that set up my daughter's car seat in the rear facing position on Air Canada Rouge and said it was the safest position. I did not set up her carseat as I usually didn't bring it on as it's a hassle. I haven't taken it on since. My daughter is almost 5 now and began using the CARES harness when she was 2. Before that, I just held her up on my chest as instructed. I do think that if I pay for a baby's seat, she deserves the same respect as everyone else.

c) My sister and I are both thin women. I am not sure why the woman's seat was so far back but I think their may have been either an issue with the seat or her weight was pushing it back.

d) The flight crew asked the woman to move her seat forward and agreed it was too far back. The women and her son escalated into fury so quickly that not much got resolved and I am not sure why the FA agreed to have her move her seat up or what was wrong with the seat.

e) The whole thing never needed to escalate. I'm not that young and had my daughter in my 30s. I'm a professional and respectful of others. I didn't want to start an argument but I find that people are very quick to defend their rights and not think at all about compromising with others. I didn't say the woman couldn't recline her seat, I asked her to not push up on the car seat. If she thought I was wrong, call the FA right away. I would've have done whatever the FA told me to as she was the one who installed the seat.

I am embarrassed by what transpired and am glad it was the first and last time I've ever had an issue. I also do fly first class more often to have comfort and avoid hassles. You live and learn.

I'm glad to have provided a story to discuss and it's interesting to hear your points of views.

Thank you! I explicitly said that the FA installed the carseat and it wasn't an overly large seat. It was a Graco carseat that you can carry with a handle and fits on top of the stroller.

I agree with you that most people wouldn't get into a conflict EXCEPT DRUNK PEOPLE. Which I noted in my story. Alcohol was a factor and they not only had an argument with us, but with the flight crew and were escorted off the plane by police.