Two terrible things have happened to me. Both while flying with my daughter.

On her first flight, ORD-LAS, we were inexperienced with children. We put her in a swim diaper figuring it would keep more moisture in. Wrong. I changed out of my pants in the lav and hope to never do so again. It was close quarters. Funny in retrospect.

On my most recent flight with my daughter, LGA-ORD, she vomited on descent. Luckily very little got on anyone. Just the seats and her clothes. I've never seen a taxi take so long. Or deboarding. Or the walk of shame to the nearest bathroom where I changed her clothes. Just awful. I apologized to the flight attendants, but no apology is enough for that.

Sipes it's ok...I threw up all over myself, my seat, the pillow I had, and the pillow of the person next to me at 3am on a red-eye (for me) from LAX to MEL a few weeks ago. And I was in a window seat. Everyone was sleeping and the cabin was dark. Dunno what it was, cause the food was great.

Haven't had any drink incidences YET...but I'd take any of the drink incidences over my issue! Thank goodness I had an extra set of clothes in my carry on.

I literally LOLed at that vivid description by the OP!

It seems my "reported trips" comment sailed right over your head.

You missed the :>

Yup, missed it. I'm an old dude and not yet hip to the electronic groove. I'll have my 17 year old school me on the lingo. Ciao!

DL flight LAX-CVG, approx 2006. Just before boarding, I got in a fight with my then-GF. Only logical thing to do for 4 hours was to drink. I think I had 6 or 7 vodka and cranberries.

About an hour before landing, the girl in front of me hopped up and ran to the galley. She came back with many, many napkins. She had dropped her whole can of coke in her seat.

When she was done cleaning, she turned to ask me if any got on pants or shoes. I pulled my leg out from under her seat, and literally from my knee down, my pants were soaked as was my shoe.

She was very apologetic, but I replied "Don't worry about it. I'm so trashed, I didn't feel a thing."

20 years ago:

Friday afternoon flight to see friends for the weekend. Still in my suit and tie from work (no casual Fridays at that office). Only packed clean shirt/tie as I was flying back Monday a.m. and heading straight to work and planned on wearing the same suit.

In bulkhead row. Little girl next to me decides to close her tray (the kind that folds into the armrest) and catapults her OJ onto my suit.

I'm just surprised and girl is crying and mom is screaming at her. I felt so bad for her - I had a funny story for Monday but the poor girl was traumatized. I kept telling the mom it was OK but she wouldn't stop berating the girl.

Man, 20 years later and I still feel bad for that kid.

You still don't get the, admittedly feeble, attempt at humor. Look up the definitions of the word "trip". Think "stumble".

Oh. I just got it too! :D

No; only if he does it a third time.

my son, 5 years old, on his first flight (well, technically his second, we had to connect in SFO before our main TPAC flight), pooped his pants. He was sleeping woke up, but didn't make it to the bathroom in time (or didn't wake up in time). I didn't know at first, but he went to the bathroom, then I thought I heard him crying in the bathroom. Went to check in on him, and it was him, crying because he pooped his pants. Felt so bad for him. Felt like I used up all the toilet paper but thankfully the flight attendants happened to notice and helped me out a great deal.

This happened on 4/1, and it was definitely not supposed to be an April Fools joke! My husband and I got upgraded on the MIA-IAH flight, he was in 3E, I was in 3F. One of our friends from Houston was also on the flight but sitting pretty far back. Shortly after taking off I remembered I had a few drink tickets left, and thought it would be nice to bring them back to him. After we finished our dinners, and still had some wine left, I decided to take the drink tickets back to him. In the process of shuffling by my husband, I forgot my rear end is bigger than I think it is and spilled the glass of red wine all over the lap of his khaki shorts! Of course this wasn't his final destination, and he checked his bag through to SAN. So he had to ride the rest of the flight to IAH and then on to SAN with purple stained, wine smelling khaki shorts. I'm not sure if he is still mad at me or not....:)

I once witnissed a stag-do on a Dash8 flight that got into heavy turbulences...

Roughest ride I experienced to date - imagine at least 8 cups of beer flying back and forth through the cabin, emptying themselves over the passenger's heads, at least 3 (sober) people throwing up and the distinct feeling that the wing is streched a little too far and will break apart any second...

The only time that I felt like I could kiss the ground when we finally touched down...

drinks
 

It must have been summer, I was wearing a long cotton knit dress. I had two flights from BOS-CLT-EWN to visit family.

I was waiting to board and opened a bottle of Snapple that must have been cracked. It exploded in my lap. (I've never opened a bottle or can over my clothing again!)

I searched the airport for a bathroom with a wall mounted hand blower/dryer. I was in that bathroom for a long time. I was damp and sticky for a couple of flights.

pabrocb

Not on an aircraft, but in the same category. Was at brunch with friends and family when the doting but new server came to ask if anyone wanted any orange juice. She leaned over to pick up the bread basket to replenish it and in the process the pitcher of OJ tilted over my father, who screamed in surprise, which in turn made her scream, and she was so shocked by what she was doing could do nothing but stare, scream, and keep pouring the juice. When the pitcher was empty, she ran off in hysterics as a fellow server helped her, and my father was quite a good sport, but was quite juicy for the rest of the brunch. At least it was freshly squeezed...