I take 1 Lorazepam 1 hour or so before take-off and I'm fine. It wouldn't hurt to try it out beforehand, if that's the route you choose. However, as a previous poster wrote "even if you're driving a car, you can pull over, get out, and sort yourself out." - I would recommend trying the medication when you can stay home for 4-5 hours. Again, you don't know how it will affect you. For what it's worth, I cancelled a trip to London years ago for fear of flying. I talked with my doctor, who happened to also be a pilot, and he told me that " if there was a plane taking off" he "wanted to be on it". He then prescribed the Lorazepam for me. It also may help for you to arrive extra early at the gate and tell the gate agent your concern. They may let you board early, meet the stewardesses and you can ask to meet the pilots. They're pretty busy during boarding, but you can always ask.

I too had a serious fear of flying
 

that's partly why i joined flyertalk 10 years ago..to get tips on how to make it easier. And now i fly all over the world. I'm still scared but I am over that panic of flying. I can even fly in a middle seat, and alone, and on long flights!

Here are some things i have done over the years that have helped. Flying in a week you will not be able to get over your fear totally in that time but you can do a LOT to help.

1) carry a small stuffed animal or you that helps you feel calm. I carried a small stuffed donkey. . Silly but it helped. Or if you have a lucky charm or something like that, don't be shy to carry it with you.

2) If you are considering medication there is a short acting version of xanax called clonezepam. (Klonopin) Get a prescription and try it out once or twice before you leave. And do NOT take it till you are on the plane, just in case of plane change or whatever.

3) Do live checkin at the airport, get there very early and talk w/ the check in folks. See if they can get you towards the front of the plane, on an aisle, even if you have to pay extra. The front of the plane is less bumpy generally and that's what would trigger my anxiety.
4) Bring whatever entertainment YOU would like to have. If you like movies, invest in a small player and some dvd's. If you can be in control of some part of the experience it will help a lot. Or music, ipods etc. Same with food - bring some favorite food items.


5) Yes take off and landings are hard without your own entertainment. But also get some noise cancelling headphones - JVC sells decent pairs for under $100 that will help for those random noises during the flight.

6) One thing I learned from my fear of flying class years ago - what many fearful flyers are scared of is not so much a crash or a problem, but the actual fear of having a panic attack on an airplane with no one around who will help. Rather than grab some stranger's hand, I'd let the gate agent and Flight attendants know as you get to the gate and board, if you can, that you are a very nervous flyer and that might help you feel you have allies.

7) Sign up for AA"s Frequent flyer program. Even if if won't help it can't hurt.

I have not flown AA very often but the few times I have I have found their staff very customer service oriented and pleasant. I hope it is the same for you. Good luck.

Hi Carmini! You sound just like me! I have flown over 100 times (which isn't much by some standards) in my life and 96 of those times I have been over the moon anxious beyond reason! In fact, my routine was to start to become anxious months in advance as the pending flying date approached. I viewed that day as the day I would die! By the time I boarded the aircraft I was a mess, with all the physical and psychological symptoms of sheer panic. It was all I could do to step foot on the plane. I have found a wonderful website called Fearless Flying which helped a lot. I took an online course a day or two before my flight to Europe last year (to visit my daughter so I was very highly motivated to get myself on the plane). Since then I have flown fearlessly the last 4 times. I wouldn't say I am cured, but my anxiety is nearly diminished due to the kind, caring manner of the pilot that administers the course. I think he is based in Phoenix and gives classes at the airport there, but he also has online instruction. He is fantastic and helped me see how irrational I was about flying without judging me. He answered a lot of questions and addressed many fears. I was particularly concerned about a particular plane crash that happened a while back, which he explained to me in language I could understand. In fact, his analysis was so right on, that when the final report on the crash was released and it reflected his exact stance on it I wrote to him. His name is Captain Ron Nielsen, I have no affiliation with his Fearless Flying website, I have only been a beneficiary of his wisdom and great interest in helping people like us. Again, I am not completely a perfect flyer, but I just flew yesterday and did really well - no alcohol or drugs. I even looked out the window during takeoff!!!! Check it out if you can and write to me if you want to talk more

Or learn what all those noises are and why they're not a problem.

There is absolutely loads of information on the Web.

Neil

Thank you all sooooo much for your words. I REALLY appreciate them.
My fear started when i was on a Delta flight from FRA to Philly in the mid 80ies. The take off was VERY disturbing, and the pilot then turned around after circeling for an hour, and landed back in FRA. One wheel did not go back in the airplane, and one was stuck halfway in. We landed crazy, and I had my 6year old with me, people were screaming and crying. We landed, and were out in a hotel for the night. When they had repaired the plane the next day, i chickened out and drove across the street to the military airport, and took a military cargo plane instead. We sat facing backwards in that plane, looking at a lifeboat for 25 people, and we were 38 or so. Thepilot had his cockpit door open during the flight, and often walked around the plane, to grab himself a coffee and chitchat.
After that i did not trust airplanes anymore, and I just cant shake the pilots "careless" attitude. I know he was not careless, he was just cool and a overall happy guy that did a lot of "........ting" with the other passengers, while i tried to will him back in his seat to do his job.
Ever since then i did online courses, read books, went to therapy, took drugs, got drunk.... One time I even taked to a pilot before takeoff, when I told him to fly smooth and around turbulences, he looked at me strange and said: are youscared of flying? I said yes, very much so.... He then laughed like its the craziest thing in the world, he told me he has a two year old at home, andnhe really wants to see him again. That calmed my nerves so much.
The actual flying is not a problem, as I know how and why a plane flies. Its the takeoff. If the first 60 seconds, or until he levels off are over, i am fine. Even landings dont scare me. If an engine falls out, he has another one to fly with. But i keep thinking that the plane will trip over, or he just cant get the air under the wings enough, because we either to heavy or the pilot is suicidal or drunk or has a bad day, or ....whatever.
These thoughts are in my head.
I have watched endlessly takeoffs on youtube, to get used to it and know what to expect.
I will take my hubby's shirt or whatever and hold on to it. I will not grab a strangers hand.
I also are afraid to make a fool out of myself. I know this fear is irrational. But i just cant help myself.
Thanks again for the help! I will talk to a flight attendant before boarding, i hope she will have some kind of sympathy for me. Maye she will look at me during takeoff, just something comforting....
What would you say if a stranger would asks to hold your hand during takeoff?

I'd hold your hand if you asked. :) But, then, Mr. Crispy has a fear of flying and needs his hand held during take-off, too, so I know the drill. Still, I think there's nothing wrong with asking.

It won't help for this flight, but I was going to suggest that long term you try some therapy, and I see from your last post that you have tried. I have a phobia (not of flying, but a perfectly harmless insect) and you can know logically all you want that it can't hurt you, but that's why it's a phobia -- an irrational fear. I did find help with cognitive behavior therapy and a technique called EMDR which works on calming your mind at a deeper level and removing the panic that is connected with the image / memory / object. I'm not "cured", but I can now go outside in the summer without obsessing about that insect constantly. I spent several months with a therapist, and then I continue to practice the techniques she taught me.

Good luck to you!

I would recommend that you don't fly alone. I think until you have ways and tools of coping with you fear alone that you probably shouldn't be flying alone. It sounds like right now all your coping mechanisms are based on having a spouse or someone with you. Building up to using coping mechanisms that are not dependent upon another person is what you need, and that sort of thing doesn't happen overnight. It takes time. And forcing yourself into a situation may not help.

And I agree with the posters who have suggested long-term therapy, especially if you don't want to take something like Xanax.

Well, the thing is .... i have to fly to dallas. My daughter is expecting her first child, and she is expecting me. This is such a good reason to fly, anything other I would NOT fly alone. My husband cant get off work, he will arrive later, and we will be flying back home together.
I went to my doc and he gave me 4 lexotanil, this is bromazepan, I think. She said it will take the edge off, and i will not leap into a panik attack. I will take a half before boarding, and hope they will kick in by the time the plane starts its terrible loud obnoxious engines for takeoff... And I will try a half the night before to see how I react to them. I am not too worried right now, so I think taking one now wont show me ow they help me with my fear on board.
I went to therapy, and when I talk about my fear, it all sounds so silly, i understand what is going on in my head and in my body, and I am trying hard to go against it and/or work with it.
The guy who responded about him building these planes, and that they are build to face mother nature, helped me too. Also, that if the plane is going down because of whatever reason, i will be dead by the time it hits water or ground, helps me too, as silly as this might sound.
So, i will have to do this alone, otherwise I will not see my grandchild being born, and my daughter will think I am a Looser Grammie.... :-)
I already put the thaught about holding someones hand a little out of my head, because there are many buttholes in this world that have absolutely no empathy, and I just might sit beside one...

you have gotten some good advice that you are unwilling to take
 

everyone who has posted on the subject of medication has advised you to take a small dose BEFORE the "night before you fly"

the fact that you are not flying when you take it is not the issue. It is the issue of you don;t know how you will react - a "normal" dose may just put you out, or it may take a long time to activate or any number of things you don't know yet. You may not like it, it may work very quickly and so you may want to wait till oyu board etc.

For ex I am very sensitive to medication and in the days when I took Klonipin, i took 1/2 the smallest dose and it worked fine. Any more and I would have been drooling.

Also I would take a specific fear of flying course in the future, not therapy. Therapists are good at the longstanding fears of flying but a targeted fear of flying class hits thoe and more.

You will be fine. The plane will take off and land safely at your destination. Please let us know when you arrive and how it went. Also, let us know whether it's a boy or a girl!

iPad + good movie, or music, just relax :p

A BIG +1.

Thanks again for your uplifting words, they really help coming from such experienced flyers. You all should open a topic to us fearful flyers, call it the joy of flying, and everyone posts something wonderful in there, what they love about flying..... As it helps me to read such stories, maybe others will benefit from it.
I took 1.5 mg Bromazepam last night. My husband said I was calm and slept good, as I was even snoring... :-)
This morning I feel a little better then yesterday. My doc said to take a quarter pill as I need it before Saturday, and before the flight, in the morning, take a half, and that should do it.
I have an ipad, and downloaded lots of stuff, mindless entertainment, an MP3 player with a fearless flying hypnosis thing on it, my fav candies, a book, a magazine, an audiobook on my Ipad and socks and a eyemask. I think I am set.
The only thing is, i really want to sit further in the front, as seat 37 is too far in the back.
I also registered with AAdvantage, but it will take effect in 72 hours, so after the plane takes off.
I will let you all know how it goes. Thanks again!

Per your request I've started a thread on the joy of flying. I promise you that you're going to do fine & will be looking forward to hearing how it went.

I am alive and well! :-)

The flight was super smooth, hardly no turbulence, the landing was really smooth. I love AA! And I love the Boing 767, it felt like driving in a really fast little care down the Autobahn.
My seat neighbour was a soldier, he had a really calm attitude. When I sat down beside him, after some seating problems, I immediately told him that i get really nervous during takeoff, he said his wife does too, and he understands. After takeoff and a lot of tears, he calmly asked me if I was alright. I said yes. He then pointed out the coast of Ireland to me, and I actually looked out the window to not be rude. And you know what, it was beautiful! He had the windows open the entire fligt, and he kept looking out the windows, he really enjoyed the flight, and I was feeding off of his calm and appreciative, love to fly, attitude.
I am not sure what possessed me to look out the window, maybe the drug i took, or maybe I am getting stronger because I got so much positive feedback here.
I really really enjoyed looking at those big lakes over Michigan or Canada, I am not sure, but it was beautiful.
So, thanks again. I am happy now. I am with my daughter, which I have not seen in over a year, i will see my grand daughter soon, i love Ihop breakfast and the shopping already! All is good! :-)