Seat switch request: What would you have done?
 

A friend who is an infrequent flyer recently traveled from Florida to Colorado for a weekend get-together. The plane was a 757 with three-seat rows in economy. He reserved an aisle seat.

When he took his seat, he noted that two little girls of Asian descent, perhaps 6 and 8, occupied the middle and window seats in his row. Sometime before takeoff, the older girl asked my friend if he would mind switching seats with their mother, who was seated a couple of rows back in a window seat on the other side of the plane.

He turned to the mother and said he'd agree to a switch only if she could engineer a three-way swap that would give him another aisle seat. He did not want to give up sitting on the aisle. There was no response.

Midway through the flight, he discerned that the mother did not have a firm grasp of English and probably had not understood his three-way swap offer. And although he was slightly irritated by the girls' frequent trips to the lavatory, he stayed in his aisle seat for the duration of the 3+-hour journey.

When asked, I told him I would have changed seats with the mother to unite her with her little children, and said I found his behavior to be insensitive at best.

How would other FTers have handled this situation?

Likewise, I prefer an aisle seat as I am tall. However, given the situation, especially that it was little girls asking...clearly they wanted to sit with their mum. I would definitely have switched seats with their mum. It was "only" a three hour flight, not some long haul.

You may want to look at the following recent threads (found by searching for "seat swap") to get a sense of peoples' opinions on this matter. Note how all these threads are locked, as they tend to rapidly devolve into rudeness and personal attacks:

http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/trave...tch-seats.html
http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/trave...ries-10-a.html
http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/trave...s-someone.html

I thought it was the responsibility and by legal regulations of the airline to ensure that a parent is seated with children?

I would probably had said no as well but told the crew about the situation and volunteered for an upgrade ;)

But it's a difficult situation. Somehow I don't think it's up to a pax with an aisle seat preference to sort out seating problems where children aren't seated with at least one parent.

Eh, it was a fairly short flight. I don't think that there was really anything wrong with him for not wanting to switch for a different seat further back on the plane. I don't think that makes him insensitive. The mother could have (or had her children) speak to someone at the gate, check-in, or to a flight attendant if they absolutely needed to be seated next to each other. That said, I think in this case it would have been nice to do, but there was no reason why they had to be seated next to each other. Your friend provided an alternative and the mother did not understand and/or was unable to orchestrate it.

Personally, I probably would have been inclined to switch provided the seat was not much further back, but I do not fault your friend for not switching. There are many reasons why someone may not want to change seats. I prefer an aisle seat, but the window seat does not bother me, especially on that short of a flight. Switching would have been polite to do, but not necessary

As for the language barrier, that happens. Again, if it was that important, the woman could have had her children translate (presumably they would be able to) or involve a flight attendant. That said, if a switch needs to be made, the person who is requesting the switch should take the burden of the responsibility in making sure this is accomplished.

Same way as he did.

For valid medical reasons aisle seats are very important to me (want to talk about "frequent trips"? ;))... so I go to some lengths to ensure that's what I get.

(And BTW if I can't get one I "suck it up" - I don't expect someone else to move for me)

I realise there may be slightly more sympathy deserved in this particular case.. (poor english etc) but I cannot see how any of it is your friends problem either.

Sorry.

Perhaps I have become cynical about ANY swap request after being asked - more than once- to trade an exit aisle for a rear middle (or similarly ridiculous "trade").....

At 6 and 8 children don't need to hold their mother's hand all the time - in fact they will be used to being away from their mother as they will be at school.

They had each other for company, and their mother wasn't far away.

And although it was one of the children who asked I wonder if this wasn't perhaps out of obedience (mother asked her to ask, so she did) rather than out of any genuine desire to have her mother sitting next to her. Most 6 to 8-year-olds actually ENJOY time away from their parents - it makes them feel grown up!

So - I don't think the OP's friend did anything wrong by not swapping seats.

He certainly wasn't in the wrong, but IMHO a gentleman would have given up his seat to allow a mother to be with her two young children. Even if that meant switching from an aisle to a window.

I too am interested in how the mother got separated from the children in the first place - I thought there were rules about this sort of thing.

It's entirely possible that they did. My experience in the past has been that the airline employees won't help unless they have to. Despite making reservations well in advance (4-6 months), we'd still end up being split up. Ask at check-in, get told to talk to the gate agent. Talk to the gate agent, get told to talk to the flight attendant. Talk to the flight attendant, get no help whatsoever. Granted, these were international flights, so there were a lot of people on the plane, but no, airline personnel were not helpful.

In these days of equality I am fascinated by the continued playing of the "if you were a gentleman" card....

So.. just curious... a gentleman should switch aisle for window... right?

How about aisle to middle?

Exit row for non-exit row?

How about J to Y?

If you answer NO to one or more of the above then just where is the line beyond which the demand is unreasonable and "gentlemanliness" does not require acceding to it?

A topic that currently fascinates me... because I personally do the whole door opening/helping with bags/holding umbrellas/helping with strollers etc thing routinely (and for anyone seemingly needing a hand.. not just the ladies).... and yet object to assumptions that such conduct "must" be forthcoming! ;)

In other words I do it because I want to... not because I have been "expected" to... there IS a difference...

ooops wrong post..

If the girl had asked nicely, then I would definitely switch. It's only a 3 hour flight.

chances are the mother didn't know that it was possible to get the gate agent to seat them together. wasn't a man recently charged with 'improperly touching' a young seat mate to whom he wasn't related? Being a gentleman has nothing to do with it. I would have switched just so 2 little kids could be with their Mom. Period.

Maybe so, but the problem is if you really want an aisle seat. Maybe you have planned this months ago. You then detect that you are blocking a parent from being seated with her kids. Is it really fair that you should take all the responsibility to make it right?

I still think it's the airlines legal responsibility to seat kids with at least one parent. It's certainly not a pax responsibility.

I would have suggested that the older child swap with the mother so the mom could be with the younger child. The older child at 8 years old is probably quite happy to seat by herself at a window seat.

Then the decision is entirely within the family's.