The idea of handing out cookies, drinks, earplugs, etc. sounds silly. It sounds like something someone would do who is either trying to illicit compliments and start (an annoying) conversation about how this is their first flight with the new baby or who feels less worthy than the random strangers sharing a flight.

I travel several times a year with my kids (never because we have to) and at young ages, they get the idea that they need to be behaved or there won't be any more fun trips. Granted, a baby won't understand the consequences and babies do cry. Know what calms your baby and cater to whatever that is - extra feedings, a special toy, etc.

If someone seated near you is so grumpy that they feel the need to put their energy into giving you dirty looks simply because you're traveling with kids, just ignore them. Put your time and energy into taking care of your kids and forget about the complainers of the world.

That's a bit harsh. No one is trying to *e*licit [sp] compliments, and no one is starting useless conversations. Thanking a seatmate for their understanding when the trip is already over is hardly starting an annoying conversation.

And I think there's nothing wrong with a little common courtesy to others nearby. How many other reasons are there to buy another person a drink? Lots. If offering someone a beer is a peacemaking and goodwill gesture, I'm glad to do it. After all, we've all got to get along in close quarters for however many hours, so my showing them that I care about the comfort of someone other than myself is important. ...and I have to hope they care about mine, as well.

I think people just want consideration and effort from parents flying with children.

My child spilled a sprite drink (one of those things... not messing around.. it just slipped out of his hand) and it went down the seat chair and the liquid landed in the purse of the woman behind us. I was mortified and insisted I pay for any replacements of anything ruined or any kind of cleaning cost for her to get the purse back to how it was.

She was just glad it wasn't urine. :eek: and thanked me for the offer but said it wasn't necessary as she doesn't travel with expensive things.

Other passengers just want you to own your kids and actively parent for the consideration of others.

Amen.

I am childless and realize kids are kids. If their parents are actually acknowledging the situation and at least making an effort to do something about it, I'm fine. It's the parents who completely ignore the situation and put on the demeanor of "deal with it" to everyone else that really get me going.

Being even the slightest bit contrite shows that you're trying to raise your child with manners and acknowledges that you have consideration for those around you. Letting them run wild or scream for hours on end without even saying anything to the child says a lot about those parents own manners.

May I state the obvious? The OP is the kind of parent who is concerned about others and will do her best to ensure that her children are occupied and content, as evidenced by her original and subsequent posts. She asked a specific question, about the advisability of bribes, and received input from a number of people, including childfree folks like me. I really don't think it's necessary to turn this into a general lecture about what we hate about flying parents. There are more than enough of those on FT. :)

Can I sit next to you???

This is a great ice breaker. My kids are pretty well behaved, but people always look warely at them. Usually get comments after the flight on how well they are behaved.

We're going to do the best we can.

We have toys, snacks, new books, dvd's (for the older one). I've tried to get the 10 month old excited about dvd's but she's just not into it yet. We practiced with Benedryl (with her dr.'s blessing) and it works - for a couple of hours. That will still leave a 2 1/2 hour gap where I'll have to entertain her. Luckily her "shrieking just for fun" phase seems to be waning. I'm not sure how to demonstrate to other passengers that we're doing everything we can. We will offer to buy drinks. I don't plan to read myself or do anything but try to keep her happy and quiet.

The comments here have been helpful. It's in the in laws 50th wedding anniversary and we just can't miss it.

Just relax. You have every right to travel with your kids. It sounds like you're doing plenty to keep them occupied so they won't be disruptive. Hopefully your plans will work, and if they don't, the worst thing that happens is the kids are disruptive on the plane and a handful of people are mildly annoyed for a couple hours, then forget it an hour later. Big deal.

As the OP, I'm not actually an advocate of bribing neighbors. I just thought the bribe idea (particularly as presented) was cute and posted it here for others' amusement. If people are going to get pissed, they'll get pissed even if you buy them a drink or give them a bag of cookies. Some people are just crabs. Just do your best to keep your kids under control, and apologize to anyone whose seat gets kicked. I think that's pretty much all anyone can possibly expect you to do.

As this was posted directly after my post I'll assume that it was, at least partly, directed at me.

My comments, while applying to parents in general, were in answer to the question regarding bribes. Ie: Act like a responsible parent and no bribes are necessary.

It wasn't and I apologize if I gave the impression. As this is one of the few threads on FT on this subject that has been both constructive and respectful, I wanted to do my part to "head things off at the pass" before the discussion deteriorated.

I think its cute but a bit of overkill. We just flew our first flight with our toddler. He's already flown twice as an infant.

He had his own seat and was great for all but 5 minutes of the flight. Then cried for 5 hours (seems like eternity) and then fell asleep (he was 2 hours overdue for the nap). Even so, the pax across the isle commended us for his behavior.

I would not be creeped out. Perhaps the candy could be perceived as an icebreaker. It shows your neighbor that you were really considerate of others.

I did consider passing out earplugs to nearby passengers on the flight but even so, I thought some might be creeped out by it. And what does it imply? MY KID IS LOUD???? I decided its not hte best way to go.

We paid for his seat, bought the carseat on board. had some of his books, had inflight magazines. He had a favorite stuffed toy and a few toy cars. And when he wanted to get out of his seat, he moved around on the floor in front of our seats. Was he dirtier for it? Yes. But happier.

I agree. Don't PRESTRESS yourself, just be prepared.

Baglady, one question though-> regarding the plane as a fuss free zone and using that quiet voice if she wants to stay....
if she does NOT use that quiet zone....doesn't it get really cold out there on the wing?;)


Perhaps that is a bit harsh? How else do you prepare a child for travel unless you do it? Its a leap of faith but you have to get them accustomed to your lifestyle in such a way they can enjoy it.

Our little guy is 16 months but has traveled at 4, 6 and 15 months and has a trip coming up in J in several months.

He has better habits than those portrayed by adults I've seen on some flights (nude feet on armrests, UGH)

Fortunately, she's never had to go out on the wing ;) We've been very fortunate and part of it is she takes me very seriously (and Mr. BL) and knows the look. I've always told her how special it is to travel and how lucky she is to get to go to the airport and go to the club; etc. so I think that has helped. Continental is great because their P Club's generally have family rooms so she can let out some energy before flights. We board early - get organized and I pull out special plane toys and activities and we have a fun time. She's far from perfect so I hope I'm not painting her that way, but she loves flying and because of that is on her best behaviour from the time we get to the airport until we get to the hotel (home, or wherever we are going).

My expectations were very high of her because I knew she'd be doing lots of flying. Fortunately, she's lived up to most of those expectations. I think even PTravel could handle flying near her (it's okay, she flies CO most of the time, you're safe) :)

I think being over prepared and making things an adventure rather than scaring her into obeying has helped make the road pretty smooth.

One other tip - I have always handed her the safety card during the safety briefing and have her watch the video or demonstration. I want her to be prepared just in case. Also, it made her fall in love with the oxygen mask, which she thought was the coolest thing (and one FA gave her one once so she still has it) and that came in handy when I had an asthma attack during the flight and had to have oxygen - she wasn't frightened by it at all - she just thought it was cool - lol!

My opinion is my opinion, but I won't discuss it in this thread. I'd be happy to visit the question with you somewhere else (and there has been no shortage of those kind of threads). I appreciate the consideration and concern shown by the posters in this thread, and would prefer to return it in kind.

A front row seat for breast-feeding would be good enough for ME!

I would like to thank PTravel and all of the other posters on this thread for keeping this a positive discussion about this idea. We don't all have to agree, but this certainly been an interesting thread. :)

BAMAT
Co-Moderator, Travel with Children