Grounded by the Curtain: The Unwelcome Slide from Club to Economy
Mar 27, 2024, 10:11 am
#1
Original Poster
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: HKG
Programs: Marriott Ambassador (Titanium Lifetime), BA Gold, Ex-Hertz 5* PC, Ex-HH Diamond, Ex-BD*G
Posts: 3,062
Grounded by the Curtain: The Unwelcome Slide from Club to Economy
My first domestic jaunt in an age, from the haunted (by 100ml liquid) halls of MAN to the regal runways of LHR, commenced with a most cordial encounter at check-in. A charming lady, undaunted by the labyrinthine intricacies of infant ticketing, provided a service as delightful as a warm scone on a rainy day. Yet, a harbinger of culinary doom loomed in my inbox, forewarning of a meal service more scant than a miser’s tip.
As if by some sorcery, BA now boards precisely as the ticket decrees—forty minutes prior, no less! A domestic marvel! Thus, our procession to the third row of Club Europe was as serene as a Sunday stroll in Hyde Park, marred only by a luggage stowage hunt that ended in the hinterlands of economy.
With the doors sealed, a prophesied delay morphed into an early arrival, as if Father Time himself had a change of heart.
The flight? Unremarkable, save for the chilled offerings of Club Europe’s cuisine—a stark reminder of the British summer and the Scottish lochs from where the salmon was grown.
As we prepared to descend, I, ensconced in my upright throne, bereft of any reclining luxury, was jolted by the abrupt announcement of our imminent landing—a mere ten minutes to brace oneself!
But hark! The main event unfolded as we graced Heathrow’s tarmac. In a twist of fate, the sheer force of our landing propelled my protective barrier—and my flimsy fabric barrier, known as The Curtain forward from its normally dull embrace with overhead lockers —and there I was, moved from the sanctity of Club Europe to the proletariat embrace of economy. The curtain, in a defiant swoosh, heralded my unsolicited downgrade, sparing (only just) , the unsuspecting souls in row two before it ceased its unrequested movement.
There I was, demoted mid-flight, left to ponder the existential crisis that awaited: How would my kin bear this ignominy? Could my offspring ever gaze upon my visage without a hint of scorn?
Alas, the cabin crew’s valiant efforts to rectify this air (ground) borne upheaval proved futile. My newfound companion in economy, a uniformed BA pilot no less, counselled me to seek solace in the arms of EU compensation.
And so, I pose the question: What quantum of Avios is just recompense for the sheer horror of taxiing through Heathrow’s sprawl, relegated to economy’s clutches?
Note, fair credit to Copilot which did improve the telling of this story considerably and also said...
I hope this retelling has added a bit of levity to your flight experience. As for the Avios, while I can’t provide an exact number, one can only hope that the airline recognises the gravity of your mid-air demotion with a suitable reward! 🎩✈️
As if by some sorcery, BA now boards precisely as the ticket decrees—forty minutes prior, no less! A domestic marvel! Thus, our procession to the third row of Club Europe was as serene as a Sunday stroll in Hyde Park, marred only by a luggage stowage hunt that ended in the hinterlands of economy.
With the doors sealed, a prophesied delay morphed into an early arrival, as if Father Time himself had a change of heart.
The flight? Unremarkable, save for the chilled offerings of Club Europe’s cuisine—a stark reminder of the British summer and the Scottish lochs from where the salmon was grown.
As we prepared to descend, I, ensconced in my upright throne, bereft of any reclining luxury, was jolted by the abrupt announcement of our imminent landing—a mere ten minutes to brace oneself!
But hark! The main event unfolded as we graced Heathrow’s tarmac. In a twist of fate, the sheer force of our landing propelled my protective barrier—and my flimsy fabric barrier, known as The Curtain forward from its normally dull embrace with overhead lockers —and there I was, moved from the sanctity of Club Europe to the proletariat embrace of economy. The curtain, in a defiant swoosh, heralded my unsolicited downgrade, sparing (only just) , the unsuspecting souls in row two before it ceased its unrequested movement.
There I was, demoted mid-flight, left to ponder the existential crisis that awaited: How would my kin bear this ignominy? Could my offspring ever gaze upon my visage without a hint of scorn?
Alas, the cabin crew’s valiant efforts to rectify this air (ground) borne upheaval proved futile. My newfound companion in economy, a uniformed BA pilot no less, counselled me to seek solace in the arms of EU compensation.
And so, I pose the question: What quantum of Avios is just recompense for the sheer horror of taxiing through Heathrow’s sprawl, relegated to economy’s clutches?
Note, fair credit to Copilot which did improve the telling of this story considerably and also said...
I hope this retelling has added a bit of levity to your flight experience. As for the Avios, while I can’t provide an exact number, one can only hope that the airline recognises the gravity of your mid-air demotion with a suitable reward! 🎩✈️
Mar 27, 2024, 11:14 am
#3
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: London UK
Programs: BAEC Silver,, Oman Air Gold
Posts: 747
My company’s travel policy changed from business to economy for intra-UK flights and when for the first time I saw (amidst my many flowing tears) the curtain being closed in front of me for the first time, all I could do was irrationally think to myself: ”is this what it’s like at the crematorium when the curtain closes…?”
Mar 27, 2024, 12:25 pm
#4
Join Date: Sep 2013
Programs: BAEC Gold, EK Skywards (enhanced Blue !), Oman Air Sindbad Gold
Posts: 6,399
Still only March, littlevoices ……… but (in my book) definitely a candidate for best-written post of 2024 
You appear to have confronted this traumatic assault on your welfare with admirable resilience and fortitude. That said, do please update us as to the nature of your clearly-deserved recompense, when eventually awarded.
You appear to have confronted this traumatic assault on your welfare with admirable resilience and fortitude. That said, do please update us as to the nature of your clearly-deserved recompense, when eventually awarded.
Mar 27, 2024, 12:40 pm
#5
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Kent, UK
Programs: BA Gold; Virgin FF; United Airlines; American Airlines; and was frequent c/c churner - RIP!
Posts: 945
My first domestic jaunt in an age, from the haunted (by 100ml liquid) halls of MAN to the regal runways of LHR, commenced with a most cordial encounter at check-in. A charming lady, undaunted by the labyrinthine intricacies of infant ticketing, provided a service as delightful as a warm scone on a rainy day. Yet, a harbinger of culinary doom loomed in my inbox, forewarning of a meal service more scant than a miser’s tip.
As if by some sorcery, BA now boards precisely as the ticket decrees—forty minutes prior, no less! A domestic marvel! Thus, our procession to the third row of Club Europe was as serene as a Sunday stroll in Hyde Park, marred only by a luggage stowage hunt that ended in the hinterlands of economy.
With the doors sealed, a prophesied delay morphed into an early arrival, as if Father Time himself had a change of heart.
The flight? Unremarkable, save for the chilled offerings of Club Europe’s cuisine—a stark reminder of the British summer and the Scottish lochs from where the salmon was grown.
As we prepared to descend, I, ensconced in my upright throne, bereft of any reclining luxury, was jolted by the abrupt announcement of our imminent landing—a mere ten minutes to brace oneself!
But hark! The main event unfolded as we graced Heathrow’s tarmac. In a twist of fate, the sheer force of our landing propelled my protective barrier—and my flimsy fabric barrier, known as The Curtain forward from its normally dull embrace with overhead lockers —and there I was, moved from the sanctity of Club Europe to the proletariat embrace of economy. The curtain, in a defiant swoosh, heralded my unsolicited downgrade, sparing (only just) , the unsuspecting souls in row two before it ceased its unrequested movement.
There I was, demoted mid-flight, left to ponder the existential crisis that awaited: How would my kin bear this ignominy? Could my offspring ever gaze upon my visage without a hint of scorn?
Alas, the cabin crew’s valiant efforts to rectify this air (ground) borne upheaval proved futile. My newfound companion in economy, a uniformed BA pilot no less, counselled me to seek solace in the arms of EU compensation.
And so, I pose the question: What quantum of Avios is just recompense for the sheer horror of taxiing through Heathrow’s sprawl, relegated to economy’s clutches?
Note, fair credit to Copilot which did improve the telling of this story considerably and also said...
I hope this retelling has added a bit of levity to your flight experience. As for the Avios, while I can’t provide an exact number, one can only hope that the airline recognises the gravity of your mid-air demotion with a suitable reward! 🎩✈️
As if by some sorcery, BA now boards precisely as the ticket decrees—forty minutes prior, no less! A domestic marvel! Thus, our procession to the third row of Club Europe was as serene as a Sunday stroll in Hyde Park, marred only by a luggage stowage hunt that ended in the hinterlands of economy.
With the doors sealed, a prophesied delay morphed into an early arrival, as if Father Time himself had a change of heart.
The flight? Unremarkable, save for the chilled offerings of Club Europe’s cuisine—a stark reminder of the British summer and the Scottish lochs from where the salmon was grown.
As we prepared to descend, I, ensconced in my upright throne, bereft of any reclining luxury, was jolted by the abrupt announcement of our imminent landing—a mere ten minutes to brace oneself!
But hark! The main event unfolded as we graced Heathrow’s tarmac. In a twist of fate, the sheer force of our landing propelled my protective barrier—and my flimsy fabric barrier, known as The Curtain forward from its normally dull embrace with overhead lockers —and there I was, moved from the sanctity of Club Europe to the proletariat embrace of economy. The curtain, in a defiant swoosh, heralded my unsolicited downgrade, sparing (only just) , the unsuspecting souls in row two before it ceased its unrequested movement.
There I was, demoted mid-flight, left to ponder the existential crisis that awaited: How would my kin bear this ignominy? Could my offspring ever gaze upon my visage without a hint of scorn?
Alas, the cabin crew’s valiant efforts to rectify this air (ground) borne upheaval proved futile. My newfound companion in economy, a uniformed BA pilot no less, counselled me to seek solace in the arms of EU compensation.
And so, I pose the question: What quantum of Avios is just recompense for the sheer horror of taxiing through Heathrow’s sprawl, relegated to economy’s clutches?
Note, fair credit to Copilot which did improve the telling of this story considerably and also said...
I hope this retelling has added a bit of levity to your flight experience. As for the Avios, while I can’t provide an exact number, one can only hope that the airline recognises the gravity of your mid-air demotion with a suitable reward! 🎩✈️
Mar 27, 2024, 4:35 pm
#9
Join Date: Feb 2024
Location: Devon
Programs: BA Blue
Posts: 18
A friend asked ChatGPT for a joke resignation letter today which included the phrase "with a heavy heart yet a relieved mind that I tender my resignation", seems like the AI finally understands glorious British humour 
Mar 27, 2024, 4:53 pm
#11
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Aug 2014
Programs: Top Tier with all 3 alliances
Posts: 11,669
A realization to be further solidified by the cruel instruction of the supervisor to the customer care agent to "pay no attention to the man behind the [CE] curtain!" and ignore your futile existential cries to restore the illusion of specialness!
Last edited by nk15; Mar 27, 2024 at 5:35 pm
Mar 28, 2024, 4:44 am
#14
Join Date: Nov 2023
Programs: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Posts: 176
my guess is that this was written by ChatGPT. The task must have been: write the text with as many rarely used words as possible 😁