I'm Deaf, so people for the most part leave me alone. However, I've had a few nice conversations (writing on paper, of course), and spoke to someone who worked for the Navy, someone who worked on an army base, a magazine company, and a grandmother. Honestly, it's always fun to meet new people, but at the same time, be careful - even in nice places there are some dangerous ones.

It does seem to be a social norm for people to ask what you do but it can be annoying, particularly if you are on a plane for leisure attempting to unwind and leave it all behind for a few days.
I usually just tell people what I do followed by "to make a long boring story short." It works most of the time.

I forgot to mention the line that works the BEST.

I am an auditor for the IRS.


I always get crickets with that one.

I work for Vandelay Industries. We're an import-export company and purveyor of fine latex products. At one point I did industrial smoothing. Originally, though, I was trained as an Architectural Marine Biologist.

Those of you who responded that you don't mind telling people what you do have missed the original point of this discussion: The OP (and myself, and some others on this thread) don't necessarily have a problem saying WHAT WE DO, but we do have a problem saying FOR WHOM WE DO IT. Big diff between your line of work, and the identity of your employer.

Thanks for answering, Efrem, I'm still laughing too hard.

Yes -- you understand what I meant completely by my original post, its not what I do, its who I do it for that I have a problem with people asking about.

And just to elaborate a little more, I'd like to point out that I tend to see the same people over and over on flights, too, even when I'm headed to different places. If you fly through the same hub on the same airline you're going to keep crossing paths with others who do as well. There are often people who remember me and comment "I always see you in such and such city..." and other creepy things like that (I know they mean to be friendly but it always catches me off guard). I could probably start a whole new thread just about that. But anyway, when I have a conversation with somebody (in front of others who are in earshot in a small space, by the way), I don't really think of it as a one time interaction without future considerations. Its very likely that I'll be flying sometime on a plane with them or the others who can hear and who knows what I'll be doing? I certainly don't want them to think the employees at my company are all slackers if I'm watching a DVD and drinking wine. It feels like if I fess up to my company name, forever after they're going to spot me on the plane, know my company, and check out what I'm up to. I don't necessarily always want to represent my company on the plane, I may want to unwind after a long hard week. Or, better still, I might be on vacation! I have a privacy filter on my screen and I try to mind my own business, but its hard at times.

Thinking of the balance between friendly and nosy, I guess I really just wish people would ask general questions if they're wanting to be friendly and leave the level of detail I provide up to me to decide.

I don't mind telling people I'm a college professor. I don't mind telling people the discipline I teach. But I definitely don't like telling people at which university I teach. You've got that info & you've got my name, my email address, a picture of me from the dept website, the phone number where I can be reached about 12 hours per day, and access to a whole bunch more info about me. That is way more than I want some stranger on a plane to know.

I suspect you're asking because, by golly, we could talk basketball, but the fact is, I don't give a hoot about my university's sports teams, so I'm not going to be worth talking to about that anyway. I really object to that probing, as innocent as I'm generally certain it is. I'm to the point of fibbing, but I don't really like falsehoods either. So much easier if people would just figure out some limits. I don't mind talking to some seatmates (depends), but personal info is personal info.

Big diff between my line of work and what I do, too.

I don't like explaining for whom I do what I do. It can take quite a while to explain the convoluted relationship between me and some of the entities I appear to be working for... let alone the money trail.

I don't talk to people on planes. Mrs. Pickles always does, and just spent 5 hours yesterday talking to the mother of an girlfriend I had in college who's now a screenwriter in LA.

They didn't know each other before the flight (as a matter of fact, Mrs. Pickles did not know about this particular girlfriend), but through the usual Q&A (what do you do, where are you going, where did you go to school) they ended up being best buddies. Why does this kind of stuff happen to me?

A customs official once pulled me aside for special screening at CHC. First he asked for my passport, then he asked me what I did and for whom.

"Information architecture and web content management consulting for a deferred compensation plan administrator."

"A what now?"

"A pension administrator."

There were no more questions.

Of course, had it been a cute girl, I probably would have gone with "an investment company."

I've defiantly used that one before. Or the famous "I'm retired, I invented dice as a child."

I think most of the time people don't really think much about asking who a person works for, it's just the natural progression in banal plane conversation after asking what you do.

I can understand not wanting to share the info though, but I don't think it's overly nosy to ask, imo. Luckily I work with three of my friends doing internet security overseas and so it's just as easy to say "It's just a small company with three friends" and I've never had people re-ask me the name after that explanation.

I always get a lot of questions though (especially in intnl biz) because I'm covered in tattoos (arms, hands, and some face and head) so it confuses people that someone like me is flying business to Z�rich, Brussels, Berlin or myriad other locations that are "hubs" for international business when the rest of the cabin is full of people in suits. They're halfway disappointed when I tell them I work in internet security and I'm not on MTV. Recently on my way to VCE I had an interesting conversation with a 40 yr/old guy with a ponytail sitting across the isle from me, went like this:

Him: "Hey"
Me: "Howdy"
*two hours of silence*
Him: "So..."
Me: "Yeah?"
Him: "Nice tattoos...are you like a rock star?
Me: "Nice pony tail... are you like a pony?"

He was a good sport about it and we ended up talking for the rest of the flight.

Once again, I agree! It's frustrating to try to be friendly (or least "cordial") and then when that one question comes that you don't care to answer (for any/all of the reasons described in this thread), your seatmate responds with a "harrumph!" (or the equivalent) and the conversation's over (as in the implied "How dare you not answer my question!").

Sigh...

Sagman, Bennet, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taft....Sagman, Bennet, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taft....

Funny...

I happen to be a (non-pushy) pastor....one time my seatmate began a conversation....found out we lived in the same neighborhood, then when he asked my occupation, found out (oddly enough) that he had attended our church once before. (I did not recognize him, nor had he recognized me!)