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I laugh whenever I hear the screeners talk about foil chewing gum wrappers. "Yes, that is a steel rod in my pocket AND I'm happy to see you!" |
Along the same lines as the gum wrappers.... why does the snap on my bra set off the stupid detector but my metal artificial ankle joint doesn't? For that matter, why do I hear about people with artifical hip joints ringing the detector, but my ankle doesn't? There might be less metal in mine compared to a hip, but I do also have a metal plate with two metal screws in my fibular right next to the metal joint.
... not that I'm complaining about being hassled less, mind you! :) I just don't understand the silly things. |
Belt? I don't recall ever taking off my belt. I always look in amazement as others do so. I'm not sure if the ones I have are special, but they don't set off the detector.
"Come visit me in Dubai. Book the ticket via London and Beirut on MEA and get a 24 hour stopover in Beirut to see the city (a really nice place!). While in the Gulf, we'll take a quick trip to see some great sights in Yemen and Oman. Then you can go back to the US, tell the cheery folks at immigration that you were visiting a friend, and you'll get secondary screening for life." That's hilarious. They should make it a reality show. They could give away a trip to someone and then just film them as they go through security on the way back. They could also wipe some fertilizer on one of their suitcases too just for effect. |
Originally Posted by egoods
(Post 9988938)
Any thoughts as to why I've never been pulled in the past 5 years? I've been on about 100 segments in those 5 years. Just luck or is there some other factor at play? Maybe the government is watching me :p !
.....on the international entry try explaining a 6 hour visit to Basrah, Iraq, multiple trips to the Middle East, exJFK via LHR, never lasting more than 24hrs in a single month, or handing over a passport that in 3.5 days has you stamped into and out of Frankfurt, into and out of Hong Kong, into and out of Incheon, into and out of Tokyo as you try and come home through ORD. I usually end up making up a story about my travels. Whenever I tell the truth I always end up in the empty your bags and hand us all your documents screening line. |
Just be over 60, have no tattoos, seem of above average intelligence, sincerity and typical bearing. You'll be targeted, and considered easy to handle. When the mother helpers go after you take everything down and file civil liberties complaints against them, their supervisors and their assistants. Use badge numbers and names when you can. Smile a lot. Be terse in your follow-up written communication. Be relentless and persistent. Follow their rules to the letter, just as they do for you. Show them the backscatter PAX version of secondary screening.
It's for EVERYONE'S safety, dignity and respect. |
Originally Posted by xanthuos
(Post 9992337)
"I'm a US citizen holding a valid US passport. I must decline to answer further questions untill I am in the presence of my lawyer."
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Originally Posted by Superguy
(Post 9998271)
I received quite the grilling getting into Canada last week at YYZ ... arguably on par with some I've gotten into going back into the US as a citizen.
Getting into Korea at ICN was quick and painless ... guard didn't even say a word to me. |
Originally Posted by alief
(Post 9998339)
Oh, my DREAM trip DesertNomad! Didn't like Beirut so much so I'd skip that and replace it with Damascus. Liked it much more and still good enough to give the Immigration people fits.
and then on to sights yet unseen - Dubai, Yemem, Oman.....I imagine they'd be worth all the secondaries they could through at me. :p |
After being in Lebanon and Syria for 2 weeks, make a beeline for Istanbul by bus and then get a flight to the US. I got singled out 4 times in IST: once at the front door of the airport, once at security, again at check-in and finally at the aircraft door I was pulled back into the terminal for another xray check. And this is not TSA (though the check-in guys are there only for US flights).
Then in JFK you get a medal and special note in the computer that you are SSSS for life. ;) Yemen always throws them into fits. The Yemen visa is a full page sticker with holograms, and the surrounding pages have one or two day visits to Kuwait, Qatar, Oman etc. Once they see Syria and Lebanon they are in panic mode and think they've found the mastermind behind the whole axis of evil. :rolleyes: PS: Yemen is a great travel destination... unfortunately it is a bit less safe now than when I was there. Hoping to be able to go again this autumn. |
Originally Posted by egoods
(Post 9988938)
It's been a sort of inside joke as of late that I NEVER get secondary TSA screening. Well I had an extra 3 hours when I was going home from ORD, and decided to see just how far I could take it. Yes, I understand I was holding the line up, I'm a jerk for that, etc... but there was very little line (I was taking off at a low traffic time) and a totally open line next to this particular line. Had more then say 1 person lined up behind me I would've stopped but here's how it went. I kept my laptop in its bag, a big bottle of shampoo in my carry-on, my wallet, keys, and belt on my person (I occasionally forget my belt, it always sets the scanner off). First, an official noticed that my laptop bag was unopened and there was no laptop in a tray. He questioned and I played stupid (this is a recurring theme) and took my laptop out. Score 1 for TSA. I still had tons of metal in my pockets. the detector went off, I took my belt off and put it on the belt. the buzzer went off a second time, again took my wallet out and put it on the belt. I'm sure at this point secondary is inevitable, and again (car keys still on me) I go through, this is 3 times, and the detector dings. I take my car keys out and play stupid "Shoot, I'm just a mess today, sorry about that!" and finally I'm through with no ding.
Instead of getting secondary screening, to my amazement I walk out and pick up my bag, laptop, belt, wallet, and car keys and head to my gate. I was amazed, what makes me so untouchable? In years of traveling I've been put through secondary twice, and both times they were doing it to almost everyone. Any thoughts as to why I've never been pulled in the past 5 years? I've been on about 100 segments in those 5 years. Just luck or is there some other factor at play? Maybe the government is watching me :p ! |
Originally Posted by DesertNomad
(Post 9988973)
Come visit me in Dubai. Book the ticket via London and Beirut on MEA and get a 24 hour stopover in Beirut to see the city (a really nice place!). While in the Gulf, we'll take a quick trip to see some great sights in Yemen and Oman. Then you can go back to the US, tell the cheery folks at immigration that you were visiting a friend, and you'll get secondary screening for life.
:D |
Those are pretty common tourist destinations... add Yemen and Lebanon and see how it goes. :)
|
A few times in the us when i've gone through security (at 6 am, half asleep) I forgot to remove an item (coin pouch, for example) from my pocket--i found it and removed it and passed through the metal detector "with flying colors"...
Once on departing lhr, some item set off the metal detector, i found it and even though i now safely passed through the metal detector, i was subject to wanding and a pat down--but no secondary for my carry-on. |
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