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Originally Posted by badrhino
(Post 15172734)
As part of my job, I have to fly around 100K per year. Like any frequent flyer with a pulse, I detest all aspects of security theater. I always opt out of the WBI screening and choose the pat down. I have been subject to a wide range of pat downs, and they all suck.
My protests thus far have consisted of 1) letters to TSA, my representatives, and airline management and 2) direct, minor verbal disparagement of individual TSOs (e.g., "This is all a big joke." "Are you enjoying this as much as I am?" "Are you proud to tell people what you do all day?"). I have to fly out of BOS next week, and I am wondering what I can do to escalate my level of protest while still making my flights. I always arrive fairly early, so a 20-30 minute 'penalty box' delay is not a problem, but I don't want to get arrested. Idea One: Dress in sweat pants, a t-shirt, and a Speedo. If selected for WBI, ditch the pants and shirt, and get my pat down in a Speedo and socks. Idea Two: From the moment the pat down starts, sing. I'm saying sing in a conversational+ level voice that is not exactly disruptive, but is loud enough to be clearly seen as a protest. I'm thinking Journey's "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'" or John Mellencamp's "Hurt So Good." Questions: Can I get into trouble for either of these actions (i.e., is it legal)? Does anyone have better ideas for appropriate songs? Does anyone have any other ideas for escalated protest methods?
Originally Posted by FlyingUnderTheRadar
(Post 15173744)
I think saying "touch my junk and I will have you arrested" would be considered to be intimidation. But I think "touch my junk and I will have an organism" would be considered free speech.
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Originally Posted by FlyingUnderTheRadar
(Post 15173744)
If ya got a big package that might intimidate the TSO.
Here is my suggestion: http://www.abcunderwear.com/elephant-thong.html I think saying "touch my junk and I will have you arrested" would be considered to be intimidation. But I think "touch my junk and I will have an organism" would be considered free speech. |
How could we possibly forget...
The Divinyls classic, "(When I Think About You) I Touch Myself" ??!
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Your employer is asking you to travel. Most prostitutes in the U.S. make $50 - $300 per trick. Tell your boss that each time you have to go through TSA you want to be paid for services rendered. If you're clean and STD free I'd say $200 (unless you give them a full hour). Your employer can collect from the johns.
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Originally Posted by hoyateach
(Post 15174879)
And sort of organism should I say resides in my underwear?
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Just sing your national anthem. How can that be anything bad?
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Oh c'mon people. Use your imagination.
Go as a group of five. One dressed as a Native American, one as a cowboy, one as a construction worker, one as a biker, and one as soldier. TSA will supply the "cop." Then just all start singing "Macho Man." Or if someone is good with prose and/or poetry, have then rewrite the words to "YMCA" (maybe call it "Why TSA?") |
Originally Posted by wutdhec
(Post 15175224)
Just sing your national anthem. How can that be anything bad?
Lovely situation we're in, isn't it? :mad: |
Originally Posted by UA842
(Post 15175913)
You'll probably get in trouble for saying: "the bombs bursting in air" in an airport.
Lovely situation we're in, isn't it? :mad: |
Originally Posted by pinkcat
(Post 15176558)
Good Idea though, there is no mention of bombs in our National anthem but its such a boring tune, I have often thought of wearing a hoodie with just underwear underneath but I am not sure of the US decency laws, singing is such a great idea
Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light, What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro' the perilous fight, O'er the ramparts we watch'd, were so gallantly streaming? And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air, Gave proof thro' the night that our flag was still there. O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave? |
Remember to ask the screener, while he is kneeling down, if the TSA told him when he applied for the job that it would entail kneeling in front of men and stroking their crotches.
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Originally Posted by FetePerfection
(Post 15177012)
Hmmm - don't know our national anthem very well do you?
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Originally Posted by jesirose
(Post 15177083)
That's the USA anthem. Is it possible "pinkcat" is not a US citizen, and when said "there is no mention of bombs in our National anthem but its such a boring tune," s/he was referring to his/her national anthem? I know most of the posts are about US security but someone can be going through US and not be a citizen, or even have concerns about their own nation's use of similar scanners.
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Originally Posted by redii
(Post 15173509)
I too have considered stripping down to a pair of button-fly boxers and walking through security (basically walk up, take everything off and put it in a bin).
As long as your intimate parts are covered (Speedos would suffice) I'm not sure how much legal trouble you would get into. Check state statues about indecent exposure, particularly surrounding the intent (in this case, it could be argued you're removing clothing as a protest). |
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