I'm a white American who travels to Thailand fairly frequently. Mr. Megatop is Thai, resident in Bangkok. We prefer luxury hotels but we're not isolated there; we get around Bangkok and environs enough to know what's going on. Heck, walk down the stairs from the Sala Daeng SkyTrain Station to Silom Road and it's pretty clear. Amongst all of the other hawkers trying to sell tourists something, you'll find plenty offering "DVD sex. DVD sex." Get close to the real red-light sois like Patpong, and the barkers come out with photos and so forth. Usually, they try first with photos of women. When that doesn't work, turn over the sheet and it's photos of men. That's how Thailand is. It's a fiercely non-judgmental society, owing to its Theravada Buddhist ethic. Almost all hotels have a "no unregistered guest" policy, though in some places it may be easy to add a guest to the register for a small fee.

"Family oriented" is not a loaded phrase in Thailand as it is in the United States. I would say it just means they have kids on the property. In Thailand, it's quite common for entire families to vacation together, particularly tourists coming from Europe. The manager probably thought that phrase was a nice way to introduce a sensitive subject by creating a positive image, although it might have actually been better to be more blunt by just putting the rule in the hotel policies section of the confirmation page and not making a special point of it.

Like NWA_5479, I got several posts through this thread before realizing that some folks considered the email as specially directed at gays. It did not cross my mind because in Thailand the issue applies to both sexes regardless of orientation. Simply put, it's a prostitute issue, not a gay issue. Although the policy might also put a damper on purely non-commercial dalliances with willing partners, they're really just trying to keep out a stream of prostitutes.

So I didn't take offense, at least not on the gay issue. I wouldn't even take offense on the prostitution issue because that's an equal-opportunity problem. ON THE OTHER HAND, I wouldn't want to vacation somplace with a whole lot of kids running around. That's not my idea of peace and quiet. For THAT reason, I'd go someplace else. :cool:

Not really in my eyes. In therory all hotels reserve the right of admittance. As the o....ry has a bad reputation for prostitution, gay, female and children, the hotel, assuming it is a upper-class one, makes absolutely clear that they do not accept it.

I think it good on them to send it out. If youdidn't plan on brining a guest, you should be happy about the note, otherwidse you should cancle.
I think it is fair play

actually im sure many of us have heard of shoddy practices of some of the thai accomodation apartments and hotels.


the last i heard was of some apartment/hotel that had new owners abt 1 year ago. The new owner was a bit homophobic and insisted that every room had only 1 towel and 1 bar of soap. Whenever any guest called to ask for anymore, they were asked curtly how many guests you had in the room. Given the weather, a lot of people complained cos they felt it was unreasonable given taht most people would take 2 showers and wanted 2 towels at least. But the hotel would not relent. I heard it went brankcrupt as a result.

I have also heard of hotels insisting and monitoring their guests "bringing home visitors from outside". Some would insist on registering for security purposes, others would use it as a lucrative idea to earn an extra buck.

I guess the moral of the story is that every single guy is bound to have temptations. When you go to somewhere like Thailand where sex is being flaunted in front of you, sometimes we crave and give in. Its just that when you happen to crave and give in, just be wary that you don't offend anyone in the process. A bit similar to saying no to someone for sex, saying no is possible without any damage if done sensitively and doesnt hurt emotions

I agree with MegaTop 100%......
Exactly what I would have posted...

Thanks for your insightful repsonses. Still not sure what I'm going to do.

I suspect that single guests might be unusual at this resort - mostly honeymooning couples and families w/kids - and that is the reason for the odd message he sent.

If that's the case, I'm not sure I want to spend three days in that environment. But it really looks so beautiful. And the rates for the villas are much lower than the hotel roooms.

If you're that sceptical there's the newly opened Mandarin Oriental offering suites, villas and residences. They look amazing.

However, I agree with the majority of the opinions above. It's not a message one should be offended by. An assumption clearly had been made on the part of the manager but I'll assume there might have been "instances" with lone travelers and thought best to bring up their concern and avoid unpleasantness later. I've stayed at other 4 Seasons and it's just not their way to openly offend their guests; add Thailand to the factor and it's just not conceivable!

I've never had the pleasure of speaking with MegatopLover but the insights have always been very informative and useful. Reread MTL's comment again and take heart. ^

I agree with the others that no offense should be taken. They are basically stating a "No overnight guests" policy which many of the higher end hotels in Thailand have. Most Thai hotels do allow overnight guests, often without charge or sometimes for a "joiner's" fee. At least you didn't get a message like the sign at Bangkok's quirky Atlanta Hotel - "The Atlanta does not welcome sex tourists, sex-pats, bar-girls, rent-boys or catamites. The Atlanta is sleaze-free. No exception. No discussion. No apology."
Bangkok's original hip hotel

That's it, give MTL a big head. Then those of us that know him are stuck dealing with him. ;)

Oh God, do I need reading glasses . . .

I'm just about over the shock of you giving the entire city of Montreal head.

Lying down with a cold compress applied to my forehead,
FBG

LOL, FBG. :D :D

In my younger years I might have been able to! :eek:

TMI!!!!

I thought I would chime in here. No, the e-mail doesn't offend me because my first reaction was they are talking about prostitutes. When I was staying in a upscale hotel Bangkok once, in fact it was a SPG property, something funny happened. I was inquiring about different tours and activities available at the tour desk inside the hotel but operated by an outside travel agency, after a few questions, I asked if there were anything else of note and the lady glanced at me, I can see her expressions fluctuate. She then hinted about 'fun activities'. I don't remember exactly what she said immediately after but it was pretty obvious what she was referring to, for which I immediately said no, I am not into that.

Given that the hotel was 4~5 star property and a Starwood on top of it, you wouldn't expect to be hit with this kind of 'offers' but if it can happen there, it can happen anywhere in Thailand.

I knew this was a GLBT thread and as soon as I read the email I saw the US-cultural implication of "family oriented" and the Thai-cultural implication of "guests" getting confused. While I wouldn't take offense to the email, I would personally reconsider because of the exact reasons MegaTopLover closed his post with.

Question: I have seen the term "family oriented" cited as an anti-Gay codeword several times in this thread. Is that true?

I always considered "family oriented" to mean "something for parents and children to enjoy together" (a la DisneyWorld). Is "family oriented" being confused here with "family values"?