Did I overreact?
 

Hi all

I'm curious to get your opinion regarding the following thread in Trip Reports:
http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/Forum81/HTML/004265.html

Written by a 17 y.o. straight boy, this otherwise entertaining and well-written read included the following references:

Was I over-sensitive to object to these? I'm curious to hear your thoughts on the subject, but I think this is a more suitable forum than Trip Reports for the discussion. The author of the report has apologised and obviously didn't mean to offend anyone, so there's no issue there, but I'm interested to know whether you think his original comments were acceptable or not...

No, I don't think you over-reacted. His simple and effective apology and your subsequent kind and gracious words were all right on. Consciousness-raising is a good thing.

As to his two points. The first 'queer interior decorator' was probably attributable to "Queer Eye for a Straight Eye' and was harmless. Now, the fact that the show is silly, predictable, repetitive, and stereotype-reinforcing is probably a topic for another day, another board. (But really, don't you guys just get sick of all the same stuff week after week: Pottery Barn, geometric, tone-on-tone wall painting, all the product placements, etc. But I digress. And apologize if things have improved after the first 6 episodes - we get the shows late in Hong Kong.)

However, the second queer reference about Singapore Airlines and batik still eludes me. It does sound gratuitous though, even though I didn't get the reference.

By the way, mad_atta, thanks again for all your fantastic help on New Zealand. My partner and I are leaving tonight for our fantasy 16-day trip to NZ. Can't wait!

Thanks for the reply and reassurance!

Re Queer Eye, I couldn't agree more: after the 3rd episode I stopped watching, because the formula is so rigidly applied that it becomes tedious. The product placement is so in-your-face, and as for the blonde 'fashion guy', his taste is just appalling - can you believe that he really feels that recycling your 80s shoestring ties as novelty belts is going to impress anyone besides Greenpeace?!?!?!

Re NZ tips: you're very welcome, I hope you have a great time!

ROTFLMAO!!! http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttr...um/biggrin.gif I totally agree! I saw this show for the first time over Christmas in Brazil of all places ... two episodes was quite enough.

I don't think you overreacted, though I might have sent him an e-mail privately first just to figure out what exactly he was talking about (especially the second reference which I didn't get, either) and let him explain his post.

I think it was dgolds who has posted in the past about the useful "offensive rule of thumb" measuring device: substitute a religion/ethnicity/gender, etc. for the "offensive" word (in this case "queer") and see how it sounds ... it's all a question of judgement and taste, I suppose.

Hmmm... a bf of mine, a Pottery Barn manager, when asked by me if he wanted to transfer to the HUGE new Pottery Barn opening in the Castro in San Francisco, replied, "OMG...and wait on those petty, finicky queens?"

Hahaha.

Sidebar... str8 friend (female) just bought the video of the first two seasons. She LOVES it.

http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttr...m/rolleyes.gif

(edited to add that his is an EX bf... geez... they can't ALL be finicky, can they?)

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Just trying to keep up with the gals in the trailer park next door.

[This message has been edited by GoodKarmaGuy (edited Jan 16, 2004).]

Re: that trip report, I was a bit miffed and considered saying something, but based on the tone and grammar of the whole post figured it was probably more him trying to sound hip than anything else. Maybe he just wants an invitation to this forum http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/wink.gif

Re: QE. Well I still like it. I fit about zero of the stereotypes (on the show anyway), and my house and wardrobe look like, well, the "before" pictures, so for me it's interesting and inspirational. And can I just say a few choice words about the "culture" boy with the stupid made-up name? Five thumbs up!

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-alan in sitges, home of the new, improved Si-Re-Do

Yes, you can say that, because I agree. http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttr...m/thumbsup.gif http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttr...m/thumbsup.gif http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttr...m/thumbsup.gif http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttr...m/thumbsup.gif http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttr...m/thumbsup.gif

"culture" http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttr...m/rolleyes.gif

Well, leave out the letters "l", "r", and the second "u"!

http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttr...um/biggrin.gif

He is 17 and should no better but at least he apologised.

My Mum in NZ loves ‘Queer Eye’. I don’t mind it but the blonde, Carson is just hideous and what a b***h!!!!!!. There was an article in Vanity Fair about gays on TV and they described Carson’s fashion taste as ‘Barbara Mandrell circa 1982’. Not a compliment I gather.

I would rather watch QE than some of the other awful – and I mean deeply awful – reality type shows.

No, not a compliment! http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttr...um/biggrin.gif

I thought your response was great. I read the report before seeing your response, and was debating saying something and then I saw that you wrote something. The weird thing is that the "queer" references were TOTALLY gratuitous, especially the second, and didn't add anything to the story, it was almost like they were forced in. I'm with alanw, there may be more there than meets the eye http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/wink.gif

Thanks for all the responses. I was kind of surprised that nobody else had said anything, which was why I started wondering whether I was out of line and sought reassurance. bergamini and alanw, perhaps you are right: madamoiselle does kinda seem to protest too much! http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/wink.gif

It's surprising how unaware people can be about these things though - a good female friend of ours (a bit of a fag hag actually) cheerfully referred to something that she considered to be really naff/stupid as being "so gay" and really didn't understand that was offensive! She'd heard the word used so many times that she just thought it was a completely separate meaning of the word gay! Really, sometimes one just despairs.

As for Queer Eye, it has apparently been confirmed that there is to be an Australian series. I really can't decide whether this is likely to be better or worse than the original - at the very least I think the cast will include a bit more eye candy, as that seems to be the main criterion for getting onto Aussie TV, with the exception of the 'old boys club' of wrinkly old (male) newsreaders / presenters who have all been doing the same job for the last 30 years.

Hmm, well since we are on the subject. . . . don't you think fag hag is somewhat offensive? Or, at least, mildly disrespectful?

I know you mean no harm. And maybe your friend uses it self-referentially . . .

I dunno . . . I just never have been a fan of the term.

[This message has been edited by StudentExplorer (edited Jan 25, 2004).]

Good question... Yes, my friend has cheerfully referred to herself as a fag hag on a few occasions, and I know that when I use the word I don't mean it in a derogatory way. Having said that, I have sometimes noticed that others seem to have different associations - while I just consider it to mean a straight woman with lots of gay friends (which was the sense in which I used it in this thread), some people interpret/use it as women who hate straight men or are single and bitter, having given up ever finding a relationship and therefore surround themselves with gay guys.

You're right - I'll be a bit more careful about using that term in the future!