OK, thank you, that does all sound a bit grim!

I have been through STN in F a number of times, I also worked there for many years.

Firstly there is a Caviar house type place next to Boots, but if the escape lounge isn't great, then there are numerous places to sit and relax. I recommend The Camden as you exit duty free, its on the right.

My plan when I travel from there is to get there as late as possible, normally about an hour prior to departure. There is a new check in area, just opened and its very smart. I then go straight through fast track and I am airside within 15min of arriving. Then straight to the train and get off at the first stop. The 777 always parks at the same gate, 12 I think. Normally I have 10 minutes waiting for boarding to starts and I am on the aircraft about 30mins after arriving. I live 20 miles from STN so its a little easier for me.

Also, STN isn't busy in the evening, it can be very quiet. Enjoy F, its really nice, if not a little lonely and isolated.

I am tempted to change my in bound A380 to the Stansted service a week on Sunday. Currently the A380 I'm on into LHR currently shows four pax allocated seats in F (including me), and nobody on the Stansted EK67 with new F. Given the choice between the two, and that I'm fairly ambivalent about the CD transfer, is there a consensus around new F vs "old" F on A380? Note that the shower aspect isn't a big pull for me, been there and done that, but the bar is.

Personal preference, I suppose. My main priorities are i) privacy and ii) space, both of which new F provides in spades and hence I happily go out of the way to STN to get EK new F. I don't find the EK old F hard product that impressive and never use the bar, so that probably colours my opinion. The only things I don't like about EK new F are i) that it's on a 777 and ii) occasionally I wish it had the shower. Apart from that, the gap between new F and old F is pretty large for my preferences (comparing EK new F to what some other carriers consider 'F' is almost comical).

Canary Wharf to Stansted by car should be about 45 mins as you just get out onto the Aspen Way, A13, A12 then M1 to Stansted. Friday peak hour rush though would see that extended depending on bottlenecks like getting onto the A12 and again onto the M1. Further up the road traffic going onto the M25 can cause the occasional issue but they have their own lanes to block. Your real worry is if there is a breakdown etc, but hopefully your driver knows the back roads that could add 30 mins to your journey. There is an option for example to take the A13 all the way out to the A406 at Beckton and then join the M1 where it meets the A12. Google often says that route is quicker by a minute or two, but it seems more miles.

Just to note: when you get to the escape lounge, don’t be surprised if there is a long queue outside. However, you can walk past everyone queing straight to the front, and they will let you in immediately. Don’t wait in line.

Why should EK passengers jump the queue? I'd say something if somebody tried to jump the queue in front of me just because they were on a particular airline.

EK has an arrangement with Escape whereby a section of the lounge is cordoned off for EK passengers only (and has its own snacks, champagne and waiter service). The capacity rules for the rest of the lounge are therefore separate from the rules for the EK area. Think of it as being like two separate lounges or like there being a business or
first lounge next to each other but which use the same entrance - if the business lounge is full, it doesn’t stop the first customers from going into their lounge or needing to queue unnecessarily.

why would anyone go to that lounge? Grim.

OK - so you're saying that the people "queueing" are actually waiting for room to become available in the lounge rather than just queuing to get their eligibility / BP checked? In that case, fair enough.

There's a similar setup at the Aspire lounge at AMS. Singapore Airlines have part of the lounge cordoned off for part of the day. However, they also have a separate check-in kiosk at the lounge entrance.

In answer to my own question, and a data point, Canary Wharf to Stansted was exactly an hour door to door leaving at 16:20 on Friday. Back to home this evening (SW3) it was 90 minutes.

Stansted is indeed a bit meh, and the lounge experience isn’t the greatest. I spent five minutes in there before going out to try the Not Always Caviar for some caviar, but note they do not serve vodka there.

I also popped by Burger King for some nuggets.

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Exactly. They are queuing for availability/access.

OK. At MAN, they just take your name and number and give you a call when there is room (or say that they are not accepting Priority Pass etc. at that time). People with pre-booked slots or flying business / first are guaranteed entry.

Now that this route has resumed, has anyone flown on it recently? If so, did they have fast track arrivals for F/J passengers?

Yes, did it at the weekend. There is a sign directing EK F/J/status passengers to use the crew lane, which was empty when I arrived and avoided a relatively long queue in the regular immigration lane. EK are using some very nice new check-in desks in a separate area. Fast track security is available for departures and they have the same section of the Escape Lounge at the back reserved for EK customers. Overall it's a pretty good set-up, really, just need EK to decide to invest in a lounge in the empty satellite terminal space. Arriving at STN as an EK customer is actually better than arriving at LHR to me.