Holding a knife and fork
 

I'm American but since I'm in Europe so often I seem to have adopted their custom of using a knife and fork with one exception: I am right-handed but it feels so wrong to hold the fork in my left hand and the knife in my right hand, so I don't. I'm adept at using a knife with my left hand and don't look or feel awkward at all. However, I've been told that since I'm right-handed that the way I'm doing it is wrong. I have some rather important business dinners coming up in the next few months (mostly in the UK), and it's important that I (at least appear!) well-cultured.

Is it really so bad to place the knife in my left hand when I'm actually right-handed? I never switch. The only way you can really tell that I'm right-handed is when I use my right hand to pick up a glass. I'd rather pick up the glass with my left hand than have to use my right hand to cut!

Opinions please! Thanks.

This will at most elicit some reaction such as "oh, so you're left-handed?" but what's wrong with that? It's not a mistake, since there's is an explanation. It's not like you are doing an unexcusable crime, like not using knife and fork to eat your fruits :p

The bad manners aren't yours - they belong to whoever told you that you are wrong for holding the knife and fork the way you do. Now THAT is rude! As long as you don't shoot food across the table when you cut it, or drop morsels in your lap when raising your fork, I see no problem using a knife with your left hand and fork in your right. If doubt if anyone at these important business dinners you have coming up will even notice - or be ill mannered enough to comment.

And do you think that the cretin who had the audacity to correct you is "well-cultured?"

Many business and cultural guides on Europe highlight the difference between US and local usage in this matter. In B-school, we were taught to use the right to cut in order to stand out less. I mention this not to criticize the OP, but to point out cretinism and/or audacity may not have been involved.

In this particular situation, it depends upon the education / "class" of the people you will be eating with. Brits have a particularly low opinion of American eating habits, but as long as you eat elegantly, and don't do the standard American switcheroo with the knife and fork all the time, you should be fine... but you MAY want to at least attempt to learn the other way.

I am married to a Brit and spend a lot of time there, and have noticed that table manners vary widely. I will warn you though that I know my father-in-law has decided not to do business with people based upon poor eating habits (held fork in right hand like he was holding a crank - fist and scooping action) - not the best reason to reject someone, but when you have a choice of people to work with these types of things can come into play. Your table manners are a hallmark of your education and upbringing. I too am right handed but have come to love the left hand fork technique, tines down, with knife in right hand - it's exceedingly efficient when you get the hang of it. You might want to practice at home.

I'm sure you will be perfectly fine with your current technique, but if you want to "fit in" and/or be looked upon as being adaptive, well-bred and educated, and of a higher standard than many American business people, I would suggest you at least make an effort to master the European way.

As many of us know, it is the little things that can set us apart and create a bond of trust and respect with other cultures. Being more "like them" can go a long way in developing warm relationships - especially with Europeans - and can reap you great rewards in other areas.

Hmm. As a lifelong 'Brit', I must admit that I don't know a single person who has the slightest opinion on American eating habits.

I do! With the exception of holding my fork in my right hand (I never, ever use the shovel method, even when I'm all alone). So, essentially I eat European style as a left-hander would do except that when I reach for a glass, I reach with my right hand because I am generally right-handed. That was the gist of my question -- if one could eat with a left-handed style even though she is right-handed.

I'm a bit confused. I thought that the one thing both Americans and British did (if they're right-handed) was to place the knife in the left hand. The difference comes when Americans then switch utensils and the fork goes back to the right hand whereas the fork stays in the left hand for the British. Is that incorrect?

I do the same exact thing! My entire family uses the fork and knife European style. At dinner one night, though, we noticed that while they hold their fork with the left hand, I hold it in my right. We are all right-handed.

I really don't know why that is. But it feels perfectly natural.

Europeans, Brits in particular, have been known to have horrendous teeth. Perhaps dental hygiene isn't a priority. Should Americans worsen their dental care to be as "well-bred and educated" as these Brits with a history of bad dental hygiene? Many "well-bred and educated" Europeans smoke after meals which to many Americans is highly offensive. Should these Americans begin stenching up the air to fit in with this crowd? The use of anti-perspirant/deodorant isn't as much a part of the European culture as it is the American culture. Should we adapt to wet and smelly armpits?

Your comments of appearing more well-bred and cultured by adapting to the European ways of silverwear usage are equally as asinine as the examples written above. As long as people follow the universal rules of eating with their mouths closed, elbows off the table, no talking with mouths full, and no slirping of liquids, respect for others is thereby obvious.

Modgirl, follow common sense and you'll be fine. Ignore those who think that somehow Europeans are superior. That's bloated ego for you --- and very low class.

Unfortunately, just a few weeks ago in London, someone at my table lit up WHILE I was eating. I can't tell you the self-control it took not to introduce my previous meal to her..... Of course, I said nothing, but as a non-smoker, it was absolutely horrible.

I had to laugh about the dental hygiene remark. I've been told that my light teeth are what tipped me off as an American!

Analise, thank you (and many others, as well!) for your excellent comments.

Well golly gee, I think perhaps my intended message was not conveyed properly. I do not feel that Europeans are innately "superior," nor am I implying that eating in the American fashion makes one inferior, less "well-bred" or cultured. I apologize if that was the interpretation, but that was not my intended message. Obviously my wording was wrong.

If you want to do serious business on a high level with people in ANY country you will want to make the best impression possible. I agree that anyone who is polite and does keep to the standard rules of table will do well. However, people are judged on many levels, and when you feel you are on show and want to make the best impression, if you do demonstrate that you are skilled in formal table manners of the your host country it will go a long way in demonstrating that you are adaptive, knowledgable about their culture, and are keen to MAKE this impression. If you are asking someone to trust you, to build a relationship with you, then demonstrating an ability to fit in with THEIR expectations is important.

Personally, I like to sit on my sofa and eat peaches out of the tin, with one fork in my right hand. I'm not a diva, it's just my opinion that one can make a good impression in little ways. We can pretend that these things don't matter and whatever you want to do is "cool," but when you find that the person who you must impress values these things and you are not willing and / or able to perform to their expectations, you just might lose out.

But hey ho, do whatever you want. It's just my opinion.

Sorry, I mucked it up. I meant to say: knife in the right, fork in the left.

You can tell it's Monday again, right?

Good advice...even if you substitute "Americans" for "Europeans".

If your goal is to blend in a business or social setting, remember the old adage, "When in Rome....".

I eat mostly with my feet ;)

But seriously, I learned eating with fork on left, knife on right, I never knew there was another way until I saw a friend eating a steak at a party, and I told him he was eating back wards, he got :mad: at me.

One thing I never understood is people eating tacos with knife and fork :rolleyes:

Add to that: corn on the cob, hot wings, and pizza.

Which part of "finger food" is unclear?

;)

When did pizza become "finger food"?

[QUOTE=modgirl]I have some rather important business dinners coming up in the next few months (mostly in the UK), and it's important that I (at least appear!) well-cultured.
QUOTE]

Good luck with either method that you choose--you must be a fantastic person to work with, just by virtue of your caring enough to ask the question! :) I worked in London for 2 years and still travel there frequently--in my experience it has made a difference. I've received specific comments informally and formally in performance evaluations--I feel it was a wise investment on my part (and good fun for the Irish/Aussie/Kiwi roommates who slathered food in butter and loaded everyone w/pints for my 'coaching' sessions).

IMHO, hunching over and eating as in a pie-eating contest is much more brutish than holding the knife/fork in the 'wrong' hand. It's always amusing to see 'well-bred' looking folk lean over 3" from their food (especially on planes) and proceed w/trying to set their own sonic speed records. Are they unconfident in their ability to successfully transport the spot of mystery meat the full 24" from plate to mouth if they were merely leaning forward? Or are the morsels so tasty that they absolutely must minimize plate to mouth time? Oh well, I guess it's ok as long as they're using the 'correct' hand placement...

How else do you eat pizza?

Nobody on this thread said that Americans were superior. So the need for your substitution is because....?

Around the same time as hamburgers.

Because I felt like throwing it in. What other justification do I need?

LOL I have to respect that. :D

:D

I'm so glad you took that in the spirit intended.

:D

That's just plain bad manners. I'm a smoker, and even if I were at a table full of smokers, I wouldn't light a cigarette until everyone at the table had finished their course.

And, I hope, everyone at all the surrounding tables - for the same reason.

Someone needs to introduce you to Zach's Pizza. The best pizza ever requires a knife and fork. :p http://www.zacharys.com/about.html

It doesn't really matter ... hold the knife and fork however you want.

A right-handed European, may be even a left-handed, I don't know, would have the knife in the right hand and the fork in the left hand.
On mainland Europe you don't cut potatoes with a knife .. however, I do!

Actually, no. If you're in the smoking section you're in the smoking section. But I'm always conscious of the tables around me and try to be considerate about where I'm blowing my smoke and waving my cigarette.

For all practical purposes, I'm U.S. American...but I do eat with the fork in the left, knife in right. It's just much easier than dropping one utensil and switching to another.

HOWEVER, I do have Europe-based family members (in Spain and the U.K.). Since I find the stereotypical European "superiority complex" rather humorous, just out of spite, I eat the "American way" when I'm with my Euro relatives...just to bug them. :D

Someone needs to introduce you to Bad Boy's Pizza on 86th Street in Brooklyn. It just doesn't get any better. ^

I am told the left-right fork switch betrayed more than one American flier to the Gestapo when they were hiding with the resistance. So perhaps those that suggest "blend" may be offering a life skill.

Gestapo
 

Wow! I thought that, with the exception of the speech police at various Ivy league schools, the Gestapo was gone...

How about "De Lorenzo's" in trenton?
Slice it with the knife, then have it as finger food ;-)

To be honest, it's depending on my mood, the kind of restaurant, the kind of people i'm with to consider pizza as silver- or finger-food.

By the way, eating grilled or roasted chicken in germany is kind of ok. In france for example, it's an absolute "no-no".

How about a new Topic about pizza-places?

JN ;-}

Really, is there any other way to enjoy Göckele at the Cannstatter Wasen?

;)

NO...there's absolutely no way to eat a Goeckele (Chicken) on the 2nd largest Beer-/Octoberfest in the World (with Munich as #1) than by your fingers. And finally it's not as packed as munich.
So everybody going to Munich for the Octoberfest, take some extra days and check Stuttgarts "Cannstadter Wasen" too. It's just a 2 hours car-ride ;)

Sometimes, I'm so off topic... :rolleyes:

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Forgive me for nitpicking but I have to question whether the rules you list are truly universal. I am sure in our travels we have all noticed eating customs that are quite acceptable elsewhere, yet are considered taboo, rude, or at least unorthodox at home.

Example: I have only been to Japan twice, but both times my interpreter has explained that slurping the noodles is a polite, time-honored sign of good appetite and enjoyment. (I took my daughters with me on the second trip because I knew they would love a week of slurping without reprimand.)

To the OP: Good luck with your *left-handed* meal(s). If anyone even notices I would hope they would not be so boorish as to comment. Your method may be a bit unique but at least IMHO it is neither inappropriate nor impolite. :)