Consolidated "Dining Alone - suggestions, experiences, questions" thread
 

Hi, new member here. So are there any web site out there that lists places that cater to people who dine alone?

Welcome to FT, bryan1966
I am unaware of any sites which specifically are geared to the solo diner, but www.zagat.com could be a resource. Also, I would suggest looking at the Flyertalk Travel sections and look for specific cities in which you might be traveling. You could then post a question re: restaurants in that particular city which are solo-dining-friendly.

I dine quite often alone, specially when I am on the road. I just pick a place which looks interesting, and see how the waiter is when he first approaches me. Most of the time it was a rather pleasent experience. I bring quite often a small book or so thought unless there is a big window to look out.

I try and find great resturants that let you eat off of the regular menu at the bar. Ie the 5 seat bar at Chinois in Santa Monica. Most really good resturants have a bar that you can order at. I just explain that I don't want to sit at a table alone and I often bring a book or magazine with me.

You might also get a couple more ideas from this thread, bryan1966.

I enjoy eating alone in private (as in a hotel room), but I eschew eating alone in public.

The only time I will eat alone in public is if I am really interested in trying out a particular restaurant.

Welcome to FlyerTalk, bryan1966 — and sorry about the eschew play on words there...

[This message has been edited by Canarsie (edited 10-25-2003).]

This is an interesting question. When I was younger, I had no problem eating alone at restaurants. As I've gotten less young, I feel odd doing so. I was even told point blank at one place that if you are alone, we can't seat you. http://www.flyertalk.com/dining/ftdining_forum/eek.gif

Therefore, if I must eat alone, I try going at slightly off-hours, like lunch at 12:00 or maybe 2:30, dinner at either 6:30 or 10:00. That said, I will also look for restaurants with bars, because they typically will let you eat at the bar.

I guess ultimately, most restaurants will not be enthusiastic about serving a single diner, for a number of reasons, so I guess my advice would be to post a question here in FT Dining when you plan to go anywhere new, and see what people have to say.

I have found that as I have gotten older I am much more comfortable dining alone. When I was younger, I did not have the confidence nor the attitude I have now. More often than not, I am given a fine table and am treated with respect. Actually, I rather enjoy dining alone and observing others. In Los Angeles, where I live, I often have lunch alone after going to the gym. Generally, it will be at a busy restaurant with a counter as I enjoy watching what is coming out of the kitchen. The Apple Pan is particular favorite. Of course, sushi bars are great places to dine alone.

[This message has been edited by obscure2k (edited 10-26-2003).]

Dining alone... pet peeve
 

So here I am, on a day trip by myself through Coastal California. I stop to eat at a nice restaurant. At 1 pm it's a bit empty.

I tell the hostess I'd like a table for one. And where in this empty restaurant does she seat me? Right next to a talkative couple, so close that I barely need to extend my arm to grab something from the man's plate!

This has happened to me several times before. As much as I try not to listen, the restaurant is so quiet and their voices so loud that I can't ignore it.

So I find the hostess and ask her to re-seat me, leting her know that I'd like to give the couple some privacy.

Wish they would have done this in the first place! It's a major pet peeve of mine...

That borders on insulting. I hope her tip reflected that.

I am with the OP on this one...

Did you have the same wait staff as the couple? I can picture the hostess putting you together as it is slow and there is only one wait staff available and you were placed in the station they are covering. But yes, I agree, you have to wonder what goes through one's mind when they seat you so close to others when the whole place is empty.

Why did you not ask for a private place in the first place. since i hate people, i always ask to be placed as far away from the babbling fools as possible.

you can ask as to where to be seated.

How much do you normally tip a hostess?

Similar thing happened to me at a hotel restaurant, when it opened at 6:30 am for breakfast. Hostess brought me to a table a few inches away from another diner...the only other patron in the restaurant. I kindly asked to sit only a table or two away, within the server's station, and was refused! She was serious, and said I had to sit there.

I was so flabbergasted that I simply turned around, left the restaurant, and went to the Starbucks kiosque in the hotel. Ordered coffee and some food and found a nice small table and chair and enjoyed my breakfast.

This was the first and only time my request for a little breathing room in a nearly empty restaurant was ever refused.

Yikes! :eek: I'll often ask to move before they seat me, or even if it's a few people in the group. It may be that we're too close to other patrons, or that one group is being very loud, or just that I'd prefer a table in a different area. I don't think I've ever been given quite the resounding no you were in that situation!

I have no problem asking to be seated elsewhere. I did that Sunday night when the hostess seated me where I could not get a clear view of the cook and waitress kissing/fondling in the adjacent dining room.

I'm more bothered by hotels putting all the guests together. I need quiet to sleep. Eating, not so much.

This happens to me all the time, I usually ask for another table before I am seated. I have never had an issue being reseated, but then once I am it seems to take forever for a server to come over. I get the usual "Oh, I thought you were waiting for someone". Yeah, I was waiting for you to come over and take my order.

Could it be she hates her job and took it out on you by doing that?

Yep.. happened to us the other night. Nearly empty restaurant when we arrive, the hostess sits us between the only other occupied tables. We asked to move to sit next to the Christmas tree instead. :D

I rarely dine alone in a proper restaurant but regardless i usually point at a free table where i'd like us to sit and ask if we can sit there

I don't leave the choice upto the waitress

Oh, I was thinking it was the waitress. One person can do both when it's slow or if the restaurant is small.

I wondered this, too. If I don't like where the host/hostess is directing me, I don't hesitate to ask for a specific, preferrable table.

Good for you! Hopefully the host/hostess got the message. I wouldn't have hesitated to bring it up at checkout either.

Another twist to this scenario
 

Last night I posted to this interesting thread (post #7), and thought of a topical and interesting reverse twist to the original question at hand -

Have you ever dined solo in a fairly empty restaurant in what you deem is a good table only to have the host(ess) seat a person(s) uncomfortably close to you? What did you do?

This happened twice to me. In one case they seated a lady a table away from me just as I received my food. I didn't like it, but shrugged it off, and began to eat my food. Meanwhile, this lady pulled out her cell phone and proceeded to conduct a loud and irritating cell-yell call. After a few minutes, I simply picked up my plate, took it to another table a bit further away, along with my other belongings. I did not ask the server - I was just too irritated, as her shouting was just too annoying, so I just moved.

My server approached me and I explained what happened, and all was well. The server was extremely apologetic while the cell yell lady continued shouting on her phone and shot a mean stink eye look at me. Oh well.

In another instance, I was having lunch in a chain restaurant in a nice, quiet and empty corner of the restaurant when they threw together 3 adjoining tables and sat a loud group there. Not much I could do here, except finish quickly and leave. Now I simply tell the host(ess) to put me in a quiet and secluded spot, to do some intense reading, and hope for the best.

Has this happened to you solo diners out there lately?

Again, good for you! The only thing I would have added would have been a polite request to the cell-phone user to take his/her call outside or in the lobby - anywhere other than right next to you. A polite "you don't want me to hear your business and I don't want to hear your business" usually suffices.

Stopped in for an early lunch at a local restaurant a few months ago; hostess put me in a far corner, opposite the bar, & 2 tables away from where the manager was doing his daily briefing for all the waitstaff (gives you some idea of how early & empty the place was). I couldn't figure out whether the hostess was mad that I was alone (so many restaurants have that irrational fear/hatred of solo female diners) or that it was early, but after a few minutes of listening to the briefing, & all the joking that went along w/it, I got up & started to walk out. I give the mgr credit because he figured out right away what had happened, chased me down before I got out the door, apologized for doing his briefing in the middle of the dining room, seated me elsewhere & insisted on picking up the tab for my lunch.

Been back numerous times since.

I dine alone quite often - not only back when I was single, but now that I work and eat out at lunch. I prefer it, I bring a book, and zone out. I've sometimes been seated in the 'gathering', but asked to be sat at least one table away. Usually that's fine.

I've worked serving tables before, and if there is just one person working, having the tables near eachother is preferable for better/faster service. But they needn't be RIGHT next to eachother.

On a somewhat related note, me and two friends were having a quiet dinner, having just gotten our food, at a hotel we were staying at. The three of us were artists, and had just had a tough day at a very hot and sweaty art show with little sales. We were cooling off and winding down. The rest of the hotel restaurant was absolutely empty.

In walks dozens, and I mean dozens of bikers. They were loud, they were rowdy, but they were very interesting to watch :) The 'leader', I suppose, Old Mick, came up to us, sat down, introduced himself, and said, "I understand you folks were just sitting here having a quiet dinner when we invaded, and I apologize for that. Your tab is settled up, please enjoy and relax as much as you can! Just tip the waitress, and all is set". We thought that was sweet of him, and we did hang around and talk to them a while before we collapsed in our rooms (and yes, we did tip the waitress nicely).

That is extraordinarily decent of the man. ^

I was at a crappy corner Chinese restaurant in Frankfurt once. I think there were five tables max - four four-tops and one two-top. Three of the four-tops were taken. I was alone and sat at the remaining four-top, closest to the door.

About three minutes after I ordered, three guys came in and didn't have anywhere to sit. I offered to move to the free two-top, but they insisted I stay as they didn't want to inconvenience me. The only problem was that they had nowhere to sit. So they sat with me, taking the remaining three free seats at my table. :eek:

It was the most uncomfortable fifteen minutes I've spent in a long time. We spent about thirty seconds making awkward conversation and then proceeded to studiously ignore each other for the rest of the meal. Needless to say, I wolfed down my food and bolted ASAP.

That was very nice of him to do that. He seems like a very nice person, and it probably let you relax a bit. :)

Unfortunately, the hostess was different than the waiter. In the end, I had to tip the waiter. Since the food was quite good, and since I would be back, I shoved along 20% as insurance that my food won't have spit in it the next time I am back.

Good on you! I myself usually don't have the cojones to insist on a different table. Yes, I'm polite to a fault. Living in the big city however, I'm forcing myself to be rude... err assertive... as needed.

As irrational as it seems, in the past I've chalked up my unexplainably rude experiences at restaurants to my age or to my race. As I've gotten older (and it is showing), the former has been less of an excuse. I've also come to realize that many times people aren't racist, they're just @ssholes.

Oh, and one final note. I had to return home from my relaxing trip because of a personal emergency. On the way home, around 1pm, I stopped at Burger King. I had the window view all to myself! :cool:

It's not being rude to assert yourself and ask for a different table. It's about being comfortable while dining. You're not going to be rude when you ask for a different table. All you have to say is, "If you don't mind, I'd prefer the table by the window, away from the other customers, so I can concentrate on reading," or something similar.

Wirelessly posted (Mozilla/5.0 (SymbianOS/9.1; U; en-us) AppleWebKit/413 (KHTML, like Gecko) Safari/413 es61i)

I've a feeling this is a (admittedly very pragmatic) German thing. It's also quite common round those parts (and surrounding areas), to disappear, on your own, to the hotel breakfast buffet bar, and return to find someone there, opposite you.

If I hadn't been warned about it before the first time it happened to me, I'm not sure what I'd have done...

[QUOTE=stut;10927055I've a feeling this is a (admittedly very pragmatic) German thing. It's also quite common round those parts (and surrounding areas), to disappear, on your own, to the hotel breakfast buffet bar, and return to find someone there, opposite you.[/QUOTE]
Yes, I think you're right. It is a German thing. It's quite pragmatic indeed, but if you're not used to compromising your personal space (both physical and emotional) for a group of strangers, it can be a bit off-putting the first time.

I've been at restaurants several times where another couple has sat down at the other end of a large table; that's totally cool (and indeed quite pragmatic).

It was just a bit funny to be joined by three strangers at a four-seat table -rather awkward as you can imagine! :eek:

It's a much of the rest of the world thing. Not everyone has the same personal boundaries
as those brought up in the Anglo-American culture (as myself, though I am far from
Anglo-American).

Yes, I would say you're right. I've noticed this in many other cultures outside of Germany. We Brits/Americans tend to be rather sensitive about our personal space. It's just a cultural thing I guess.

I've done it to others in Europe when there were no empty tables. I've met some very charming and interesting people that way. Of course, I'm also the kind of guy that asks to be seated at a table of 10 on a cruise ship so the Mrs & I can meet a few new friends.

I do the same and it usually works.:)

I've even had this problem in fast food places. Just the other day I stopped at a Carl's Jr, just wanting a quick bite to eat and a chance to read the daily newspaper in a quiet corner of the restaurant. It was pretty empty when I walked in, lots of empty tables. Then, after I start eating, two gentlemen sit down right behind me and start carrying on a conversation. Normally I wouldn't mind, but it felt like they were talking in my ear. Very distracting. I was actually tempted to pick up my food and sit somewhere else. I didn't want to be rude, just wanted to find some peace and quiet in a fairly empty restaurant.