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-   -   Consolidated "Dining Alone - suggestions, experiences, questions" thread (https://www.flyertalk.com/forum/diningbuzz/308319-consolidated-dining-alone-suggestions-experiences-questions-thread.html)

Amelorn Aug 28, 2010 10:42 pm


Originally Posted by Jazzop (Post 14555109)
When dining at top restaurants (Michelin-starred, and the ilk), I generally prefer to do it alone. Without another person at the table and conversation to distract me, I can focus better on the food and wine. My formation of taste memory is orders of magnitude stronger when dining alone.

I typically have the full tasting menu and enjoy discussing the wine pairings and such with the staff.
Once I had a very enthusiastic sommelier in Europe who was so shocked that I was an American (apparently I didn't fit his negative stereotype) that he gave me a custom wine tasting with each course. "Here," he would say, "is the wine paired on the menu with this dish. Here is the one I prefer. And here is the one the chef prefers." 3 glasses of wine per course, for 8 courses-- I was hammered! If I had had a dining companion, the sommelier would have almost certainly kept his distance and done the cool, Continental thing, as protocol prescribes. And I probably would have ended up paying for two dinners and still not have gotten laid.

I find myself agreeing with the sentiments expressed here, though I seldom speak with staff. However, I have found continental Europeans far less taciturn when "outlanders" are encountered.

If I eat alone, I tend to prefer upscale, traditional pubs (hardwood and fireplaces) and a book. The thoughts conveyed by the book are more elucidating that the average dining companion's, and as Jazzop pointed out, there is no disappointment when retiring to a cold bed.

Jazzop Aug 29, 2010 12:39 am


Originally Posted by acunningham (Post 14562471)
7. As soon as I finish the last dish, the bill arrives. If I still have the menu, I'll probably have totalled up the amount anyway, unless in the USA where I'm never quite sure how much the tax will be.

You do realize that your expectation is counter to traditional standards of good service? The waiter should never bring the bill unless specifically asked by the diner. This can lead to some funny stalemates in French restaurants.

acunningham Aug 29, 2010 3:03 am


Originally Posted by Jazzop (Post 14565121)
You do realize that your expectation is counter to traditional standards of good service? The waiter should never bring the bill unless specifically asked by the diner. This can lead to some funny stalemates in French restaurants.

Yes. This is more of a wish than an expectation.

SFflyer123 Aug 29, 2010 12:39 pm

Mainly in Europe
 

Originally Posted by Jazzop (Post 14565121)
You do realize that your expectation is counter to traditional standards of good service? The waiter should never bring the bill unless specifically asked by the diner. This can lead to some funny stalemates in French restaurants.

I found this the case in Europe mainly. In many American restaurants, the waitstaff will ask, "Is there anything else I can bring you?"

You reply, "No."

And they will take that to mean, "Check, please," and the check will show up.

However, in Europe, I would sit there for like 10-20 minutes waiting for the check to show up, and they never bring it. It was so painful. You gotta flag them down to bring that check over.

So I think this applies more to European restaurants than to American restaurants.

Italy98 Aug 29, 2010 1:15 pm

I will ask the front desk or Google for anyplace that serves meals family style, where everyone sits at large tables and shares the platters of food which are brought out from the kitchen. This presents a unique dining experience, not to mention the occasional friend or two one will make.

cblaisd Aug 29, 2010 1:28 pm

Interesting how different folks are. I'd rather get takeout at the 7-11 for dinner than be seated "family style" with a group of people I don't know. The prospect sounds like something I'd do only if I were being punished for something.

Give me a small out-of-the-way table and a book/iPhone.

SFflyer123 Aug 29, 2010 2:10 pm

Me too
 

Originally Posted by cblaisd (Post 14567294)
Interesting how different folks are. I'd rather get takeout at the 7-11 for dinner than be seated "family style" with a group of people I don't know. The prospect sounds like something I'd do only if I were being punished for something.

Give me a small out-of-the-way table and a book/iPhone.

+1. The family style thing is good if you like the peopole that you're with. If you're stuck with people who rub you the wrong way, it could be a painful experience. The worst is if you get seated with a table of 6 people, and 4 of the 6 know each other. Then, it's like you're at somebody's private dinner...uninvited... :eek:

cubbie Aug 29, 2010 3:19 pm

When I'm travelling for work I prefer to have my evenings, including dinner, to myself. The situation I sometimes find myself in is spending a week in some location for work with a colleague (for example, if we are assigned to teach a training course together). After 10 hrs on your feet with this perfectly agreeable person, as soon as the class is over, he or she says, "when should we meet in the lobby for dinner? Half an hour?" So 4 or 5 nights in a row I have to have dinner with someone I don't know well and don't have much but work to talk about with, or I have to say I'm going to pass, and get that you-don't-want-to-have-dinner-with-me? look.

It's not them, it's me, I'm introverted, and at a certain point at the end of the day, if I can't be relaxing in my own home, I'd at least like to be relaxing by myself. Give me a magazine or a paper or a book and a seat at the bar and a game on TV and ... please just leave me alone for a while.

BearX220 Aug 29, 2010 4:12 pm


Originally Posted by cubbie (Post 14567707)
After 10 hrs on your feet with this perfectly agreeable person, as soon as the class is over, he or she says, "when should we meet in the lobby for dinner? Half an hour?"

Yes. Agony. Doesn't matter if she's the most beautiful creature on earth or he's the funniest guy or the most read-in Red Sox fan... after a whole day with 'em, I want solitude.

dd992emo Aug 29, 2010 5:40 pm


Originally Posted by cubbie (Post 14567707)
It's not them, it's me, I'm introverted, and at a certain point at the end of the day, if I can't be relaxing in my own home, I'd at least like to be relaxing by myself. Give me a magazine or a paper or a book and a seat at the bar and a game on TV and ... please just leave me alone for a while.

I actually get some subtle static from my boss on this. When I'm on travel I eat alone, either in a restaurant or my room. Whenever I get invited to go out with co-workers I just say "No thanks". My boss has dropped some subtle hints about hanging out with others to share information, learn more about the business, etc. I just nod and keep my mouth shut...

SFflyer123 Aug 29, 2010 6:18 pm

Is it being polite?
 

Originally Posted by cubbie (Post 14567707)
After 10 hrs on your feet with this perfectly agreeable person, as soon as the class is over, he or she says, "when should we meet in the lobby for dinner? Half an hour?" So 4 or 5 nights in a row I have to have dinner with someone I don't know well and don't have much but work to talk about with, or I have to say I'm going to pass, and get that you-don't-want-to-have-dinner-with-me? look.

The other thing to consider is if that person is just being polite. That is, they don't want to offend you by dissing you, so they ask you to meet for dinner. But in reality, they don't want to have dinner with you at all. That's something else to consider (not you , cubbie, per se, just any of these situations).

braslvr Aug 29, 2010 10:19 pm


Originally Posted by cubbie (Post 14567707)
as soon as the class is over, he or she says, "when should we meet in the lobby for dinner? Half an hour?" So 4 or 5 nights in a row I have to have dinner with someone I don't know well and don't have much but work to talk about with, or I have to say I'm going to pass, and get that you-don't-want-to-have-dinner-with-me? look.

It's not them, it's me, I'm introverted, and at a certain point at the end of the day, if I can't be relaxing in my own home, I'd at least like to be relaxing by myself. Give me a magazine or a paper or a book and a seat at the bar and a game on TV and ... please just leave me alone for a while.

My.Worst.Nightmare. In the past I've gotten that 6 days a week for 4-5 weeks, and the worst part is them wanting to eat that soon after work. I don't care what time I finish work, I'm not wanting dinner for at least 2 hours after I start unwinding.

N965VJ Aug 30, 2010 1:02 pm


Originally Posted by cubbie (Post 14567707)
After 10 hrs on your feet with this perfectly agreeable person, as soon as the class is over, he or she says, "when should we meet in the lobby for dinner? Half an hour?"


Originally Posted by braslvr (Post 14569351)
My.Worst.Nightmare. In the past I've gotten that 6 days a week for 4-5 weeks, and the worst part is them wanting to eat that soon after work. I don't care what time I finish work, I'm not wanting dinner for at least 2 hours after I start unwinding.

Since I don't eat until 8 or 9 in the evening, I don't think most people would be able to hold out that long if they wanted to eat with me. :D

kochleffel Aug 30, 2010 1:53 pm


Originally Posted by braslvr (Post 14569351)
I don't care what time I finish work, I'm not wanting dinner for at least 2 hours after I start unwinding.

This is one of the best phrases for declining an invitation to join someone for dinner -- "I'm not going to be ready for dinner for quite a while, so please go ahead without me."

(But if it's not true, then you have to find out where they're going so that you can go somewhere else.)

braslvr Aug 30, 2010 7:31 pm


Originally Posted by kochleffel (Post 14572885)
This is one of the best phrases for declining an invitation to join someone for dinner -- "I'm not going to be ready for dinner for quite a while, so please go ahead without me."

That does work great if there are more than 2 of you. I've worked with many people including an ex-boss over the years who were so "dining alone phobic" that they would go hungry/skip dinner before they would dine (anywhere) without me, and they did - many times.:D Unfortunately, for different reasons, I've had to do the "get off work at 5:30 - eat at 6-6:15" too many times to count. I normally won't eat more than an appetizer and a few beers at that hour, so yeah it's great fun.


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