Lingering After You Finish Dining
 

So I work in a restaurant and have a lot of server/waitstaff friends. One posted this link:

25 Most Disrespectful Things You Can Do To Your Server

The only one I disagreed with is:

The way I see it, as long as there aren't a lot of other people waiting on tables, if I'm paying for my meal I get to eat it at the pace I want and leave when I'm ready. Especially as I am a good tipper.

Thoughts?

I agree only because I hate sitting around a restaurant after eating.

Let me try again. What kind of work haven't you done + this must be a Flyertalk do :D:D

All kidding aside it depends. I do like to hang around especially if it's some one I haven't seen in a while. But if place is busy & people waiting imo time to go.

Stay as long as you're aware of three things:

1. If you are preventing other diners from sitting, maybe you need to go somewhere else to continue your conversation.

2. If you are preventing the restaurant from closing, maybe it's time to go home to bed.

3. If you are preventing the server from finishing his/her shift, give them the folder with the paid bill/tip and continue to enjoy the companionship of your friends - provided you don't violate & 1 and #2.

I think that's a really good set of rules ^

I don't linger, but it's fine to. It's not respectful but not disrespectful either. I'd say the same for most items on the list.

A restaurant that closes at 10pm should be prepared to seat the last customer at 10pm. If that's a problem, post two times: "Kitchen closes 9:30pm; restaurant closes 10pm."

This is one of my favorite restaurants; note their hours.

Lingering a bit is OK; in Europe, it's a different culture and bringing the bill whilst one is eating is very disrespectful and customer-unfriendly.

But lingering THREE HOURS? If others are waiting?

I'm being egocentric, disrespectful and hoggish.

I'm depriving the restaurateur of income.

I'm depriving the server of income - usually a person earning sub-minimum eage and reliant on tips. (Fortunately, in Europe servers are seen as professionals engaged in a career and as in Australia and others, paid a decent wage whether tables are turning over or not).

If I arrive not long before closing or stay past, I am imposing on other people's lives; if I'm so sure mine is more worthwhile, see number one.

If I'm going to linger and there's no one waiting, that's different - though asking the manager or ? if it's OK is courteous.

The one I'm seeing with increasing frequency today is the officeless micro-entrepreneur who takes a table, may or may not buy a beverage, spread out papers and gear, meet with others, make lengthy phone calls, sponge free electric power and WiFi and generally parasitize a business hours on end.

Generally the purpose of a restaurant visit is to enjoy the
food and satisfy a need.

Once the enjoyment and needs have been fulfilled it is no
longer necessary to occupy a table for other purposes.

Yes, some of us like to sit and "settle" for a bit after eating
but 3-hours is way over the top "settling" time.

My rule is that I pay the bill when I am ready to leave.... I would never pay the bill and stay more than 15 minutes after the check is paid. To me, that is not fair to the staff.... especially if they are working on tips... I am taking a table out of circulation.

articles that suggest that every kind of restaurant, everywhere in the world, are all EXACTLY the same, are ridiculous

and unfortunately this kind of article seems to be becoming more common

doesnt just apply to restaurants, applies to everything - the stated assertion or clear implication that everything is exactly the same everywhere and that there is zero variation, because something is being 'proven' by a narrative with a certain context that is not explained, because they dont want to be limited by any context

In Vienna coffee shops it is understood that you have the right to a table for the day if you buy a cup of coffee. I doubt that would go down so well in a busy MacDonalds.

As Kagehitokiri suggests, a bit of awareness of different cultural norms could be helpful here.

Three hours after finishing would be excessive nearly anywhere if there are other patrons waiting. Where would that be ok?

even different kinds of restaurants in the SAME US city, let alone NYC vs small town

VickiSoCal, you cant say that no restaurant owner anywhere would not choose to do that

also, what if all waiting are parties larger than 1-2 people for example, with the 'occupying' party being 1-2 people, the 'table' not being movable, and larger party not wanting to be split

restaurant owners/managers sometimes offer things to those they want to move/leave

I usually leave within 10 or 15 minutes of paying. In America though it's a different culture, where you are rushed through your meal and then presented with the bill while you are still eating. I find it incredibly rude and it makes for a very unsatisfactory evening. It's hardly lingering but it's enjoying a good dinner out.

This.

This is no different than the silly threads about how much to tip. "Tipping isn't expected where I live, so I shouldn't tip elsewhere".

"Lingering" is about the location and the type of restaurant. 15 extra minutes at a diner in Manhattan at lunch is an eternity. Not so at a Michelin 3-4 star on the Continent.

I know it was rude, but it still made me feel good for a second when a server asked Mrs BV and me at lunch today if we had saved room for dessert while we were less than halfway through our entrees with fork in hand and I replied "How would I know at this point in the meal?" So she handed me the check. 100% clueless. I have to assume they're trained this way. And BTW it's spring break and half the town is on vacation and the restaurant was no more than 20% occupied at 12:30.

Au contraire, my friend. It is the European model where the waiters needlessly delay your departure for hours by never bringing the bill that is rude.

Different customs, for goodness sake.:rolleyes:

In terms of the OP's question, if there are people waiting for tables, you should leave within a reasonable amount of time. If the place is nearly empty and you leave a nice tip, take your time.

^^^
That's what I was going to post, and there it was at #2. :D

Can honestly say I don't do ANY of those and agree with every single one of them and honestly, no matter how much you tip, it doesn't give you the right to stay 3 hours.

Meh....

A picture of that famous old inventor Ben Franklin goes a long ways....

Appreciate all the responses so far, I think I like starting threads in this forum more than any other on FT ^

What's a Michelin 4 star, and where can I get a reservation?

Classic

:D

Is that a word?:D

It is now :D

There's more than one thing in that list that is a bit stupid but on the issue here it depends on the restaurant and the situation. If the place isn't busy and there aren't people waiting I might linger a bit.

There's a fine line however. I don't like being rushed or hurried because the manager wants to shove through another seating.

Invitation only, I'll put in a good word for you if you like :cool:

There's a small restaurant in Toronto which encourages the customer to linger. They'll continue to refill your coffee until you explicitly ask for the bill.

I ran into a college friend this week who I hadn't seen in years. We decided to have breakfast at a local popular breakfast place in the Gold Coast.

Before we knew it, almost 2.5 hours passed. We were definitely lingering, unless you consider numerous coffee refills not lingering. The waitress at no time seemed to rush us or be bothered that we were taking up a table (a 4-top for the two of us).

I left here a 50 percent tip. I think that was fair.

First off, I totally agree with BamaVol's three rules - I think it sums it up nicely.

Additionally, though, there can be a variety of definitions of lingering. I grew up in a family where lingering meant more than about 90 seconds after the bill was paid. I married into a family where relaxing and talking and enjoying after-meal beverages for a half hour or 45 minutes post-bill-payment is normal and not considered lingering. (Though I think both sets of families would agree that three hours is more malingering than lingering...)

Sometimes, it's not just geography that determines culture when it comes to dining!

I work in the industry as well and I don't mind you lingering as long as there is no waiting for tables. I'd hope that any guest doing so would tip extra to help make up for any lost turns and potential income for said server.

I'd also hope that anyone lingering when there is a long wait would not get offended if the server or management politely asked them to move along due to people waiting.

Assuming that there aren't people waiting for tables, should one tip more for lingering, even if the server doesn't continue to bring drinks and such?

Personally, I'd probably add a few bucks cash when I left, especially if the server still came by to check on everything and see if anything was needed, but having worked in the industry, I normally tip pretty well even for average service including stacking of dishes to encourage pre-bussing and keeping the table neat.

I can see not adding any tip though.

There are obviously cultural differences - and it is part and parcel of travel.

When I first moved to the USA, I was horrified (! - much younger then and less well traveled, clearly very protected - HA) that waiters would remove plates from some in the party while others were still eating. Wow, in my country that would be incredibly rude. OK, learnt that.

A few years later, one of my bosses is passing through Copenhagen and is asking travel advice (smart guy, he specifically asked how to blend in a little bit better, and what to see/do). He came back and told about a marvelous dinner at a small place where they sat down at 5 pm and just stayed all night. They had three courses, drinks, coffee and the staff just stayed happy. He was as shocked as I had been at the rush.

Now, when I am in the USA, I am usually by myself - I love how if it is busy or I want to get going, this is very easy, just ask for the bill early and they'll help you out the door quick. Or if it quiet, many places (road side diners, mostly) are happy for me to sit there with my guide book or their wifi for another 20 min.

And then comes the assumptions: Last month was my first trip to Canada. I had not even considered that the wait-style would be different from the USA (sorry, but that is the truth), and yet we found in Québec Province that it was much like Europe. Which was awesome, as my colleague and I got to sit and relax after a busy day with the students.

BTW, although in my country you do not have to tip, when abroad I do tip. And until I remember to look up what I'm supposed to tip, I probably tip high. But invariably, eating out is still cheaper than at home, so ok.

The other things on the original list as just rude.

DanishFlyer

In the situation I'm picturing, the server picks up the paid check, never to return to the table, but does allow you to sit there for as long as you wanted. Add anything to the tip or not?

This thread takes me back to Mumbai India. In restaurants ( not " fine" dining ambience but excellent food, we just had to congregate by the door. Eyeing all the tables and watch who is nearing the end of their meals ! If they dawdled around on the table we would go to the table and stand behind their chairs, non verbally encourage them to vacate :D
Most times it worked to be shameless ^

If you did that to me, I might " accidentally" push my chair back and hit you in the nuts. Oops.

How empty is the restaurant? Does it seem like the server might miss out on other parties if you monopolize the table? If so, add some extra to the tip.

We have fine reflexes. ^ One presumes you were not talking about cocnuts !