Or you can stare at others sitting at the bar and not say a word.

That probably gets you thrown out or beaten up though.

^^^ precisely. on all counts.

It also depends on the nature of the bar. Some have loud music and lean more toward dancing and the see-and-be-seen crowd. Other bars are quieter and have more food on the menu, lending them more toward friendly conversation or minding one's own business while having a meal.

=Bar.

=restaurant.

I hate it when I'm asked if I want to sit at the bar. I'm never asked that when I come in with people. Maybe the host/ess thinks I need company. But I'm 68 and female and I hate bar stools. They're uncomfortable. There's no seat back. And someone might want to talk to me. You're crowded with other people. If I liked other people I might not be single. ;-)

Agreed. On a trip to San Francisco in 2011, I ate by myself at the bar at Gary Danko. I didn't feel I was treated any differently than folks who sat at a table, I was able to eat without interference, and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. I've had similar experiences at Marcel's in Washington, DC, Keen's Steakhouse in Manhattan, and a number of higher-end restaurants in my area.

It can be your state of mind. In a way, it's just like the scene in the Matrix where the kid tells Keanu Reeves "there is no spoon." If you focus on how weird you feel being in there alone, you're probably imputing things to fellow diners and wait staff that they really don't feel.

I often find myself having to eat alone if I'm traveling...as a single female it's sometimes off putting to sit at the bar yourself. Now, if I know I'll be in an area that has great eating establishments, I'll research ahead and see which restaurants have a "community/communal" table. Charleston, SC has some fabulous ones and they're often full of single travelers who don't want to sit at the bar.

As a manager at a high end restaurant, I have a couple of insider thoughts on "one-tops" as a solo diner is called in the biz.

1) I will never really understand the male one-top. 95% of solo male diners just sit at the bar, where you can get full dinner service and your choice of either a little bit of conversation with my bartender or you can be left alone to your own devices if you show obvious signs of not being in a social mood (book, newspaper, phone, etc.) I guess if you need some room to spread out, then okay, but is there a particular reason some are against sitting at the bar assuming it's not too crowded and too loud?

2) I do understand the female one-top because I see a lot of female one-tops that don't want to be right next to male one-tops because those fellas can't "read the table" as well as my bartenders can. A decent amount of female solo diners get hit on at the bar when they're clearly not in the mood to make new friends. (That said, in my bartending days, the solo female diner often struck up the less than professional conversation with me :D)

3) If a server ever asks "Are you expecting more people?" when you're sitting there with one menu, then that server is an idiot. On that note, I also feel the same way when we seat someone whose party isn't complete and they feel the need to comment to the server upon being greeted that, "Oh, there are more people coming" as if my hostesses would have sat a party of one with four menus just for grins.

Chris

It's rare to see a restaurant with seats at the bar where I am, but I'd think twice about taking one, were I offered it.

The main reason, for me, is that it's just not that comfortable. I don't have the world's best back, so a high chair, slouched over my food, really isn't what I expect in a decent restaurant - if I want that kind of thing, I'll go to a pub (even then, I'd prefer a table).

OTOH, I'd expect much quicker service at a bar, so if I didn't want to hang around, I'd probably accept, as long as it's well laid out.

Why?

Well, first the bar can be uncomfortable to eat at - I would much rather be sitting at table height if I am going to eat, and as you pointed out, I really want enough room which bars rarely offer. Also, your bartender is focused more on getting and serving drinks, and very rarely is he going to put the effort into serving food that your waitstaff does. But I think the biggest things are that I don't want to have to be stuck having to either strike up conversation with your bartender or bar patrons, or fending off conversation / pick-up lines with your bartender/patrons while trying to enjoy a dinner. I find blaring music or TV or sports distracting to dining, and suddenly having tons of people trying to elbow their way in as soon as the bar does turn crowded gets int eh way of eating.

I guess my question to you is - why do you assume that the single diner is there only to ingest food and couldn't care less about service, environment, or atmosphere?

Well, again, I'm a manager at a higher end restaurant, so a) there's no music blaring in my bar (any more so than in the main dining room) and b) it's not a "four deep at the bar"situation like when you were in college. My bar top has 17 seats, all with backs. The bar top is positioned so it is not set higher than a typical dinner table. Especially in the mid-week (when I assume most of the business travelers in this thread tend to eat alone in a restaurant), no one really orders drinks over the bar top so you're not likely to get elbowed. All the drinks for people not physically sitting at the bar top are coming through cocktail servers (from the bar area tables) and the servers from the main dinning room.

I actually take your last question a little bit insultingly. I actually think the exact opposite. As for the service concern, keep in mind most bartenders at nicer restaurants make more money than the servers, so therefore it is a promotion to get behind the bar. All of my bartenders were among the best at their job when they were servers, so in all likelihood, you will get better service at the bar than elsewhere. (Hence why I sit at the bar with my fiance when I go out to eat). Just my two cents.

Chris

So to bang on about it, you run a restaurant with a bar - not a bar with restaurant. Right?

Sitting at a bar to eat does not feel like a "higher end" dining experience to me. I won't do it.

I've eaten solo at the bar hundreds of times.. I've eaten solo at a table hundreds of times.. There are two problems eating at the bar:
1. the counter is a bit high to do "real" eating (e.g. knife/fork) like steak. Fine for finger foods like burgers and fries.
2. I spend a lot more money at the bar. Bartender is a lot more attentive to my empty drink than a waiter/waitress covering multiple tables..

Of course. I'm assuming that is the topic of this thread, right? I doubt the "party of one" conversation is brought up when walking into your neon-lit, cigarette-smoked dive bar. (Which I have no problem with for my drinking habits. Dining while wearing a suit? Probably.)

Chris