This ^

You are spot on with your analysis of the single diners.

I am questioning what types of establishments these posters have been going to; to encounter a 4-deep line of people ordering drinks at the bars.

I assume, most of the posters here are travelers; like myself, and are the single diners during the week. On a given Monday-Thursday, I don't know how many 'bars' will be that busy to have a 4 deep line.

Also, its restaurants we're talking about here that also have a decent bar area. Places like Capital Grille, Bone Fish, even chains like TGIF, Ruby tuesday and such, the bar area are not that loud or busy.

Reading some of the comments here, I was thinking the posters were trying to have dinner at dance clubs or lounges.

Trying to choose a place for Thanksgiving dinner, solo. I made an OpenTable reservation at a moderate place (actually adjacent to and serving another hotel). They called me up and told me, "Dinner for one isn't offered. Special occassion."

You don't think TGIF and Bone Fish have loud bar areas? When you have to shout just to place an order in the bar area at those places/

I, for one, have experienced high volume/decibels at TGIF, Bonefish and Ruby Tuesday at the bar. I can cope with the noise, but I hate people leaning around my plate trying to grab drinks or pay. Don't get me started about the pair of drunks sharing the bar with Mrs BV and me Thursday night at the Ruby Tuesday in Jefferson City, TN. We were not dining, but took a table to get away from them. Drunks are far less common in the dining room.

I guess everyone has different perspective. But no, I don't find TGIF or Bone Fish to be loud at all. Sure its not quiet. But if I want quiet, I'll go to the library.
But that comment was targeted towards the posters saying there were 4-5 deep of people bumping into them ordering drinks.
I don't know how often a TGIF or Bone Fish have that many folks at the bar area during a Monday-Wednesday night.

Sometimes I just feel people are so anti-social. Its ok to talk to strangers once in a while. If you want quiet and have no one bother you, then there is always the hotel or room service. Otherwise, live a little, and life might not be as boring.

This is a weird thread.

I've eaten alone hundreds of times and I've never given it a second thought. I'll eat at the bar if there's a game on TV I'm interested in. Even if there are TVs in the main dining area, it's more fun watching sports at the bar. Otherwise, I like having a larger table/booth than the more cramped bar area. But if it's a 30 minute wait for a table vs getting seated right away at the bar....bar it is.

But aside from that, I find it odd that people put so much thought into it and over-analyze. If a host/ess has an issue with me dining alone, that's their problem, not mine.

As for noise...I'm in a public place where there are a lot of other people talking. It's going to be loud, bar or dining area. If I want quiet, I stay in my hotel room and order food in, or go to the supermarket and buy something to take with me.

If 1/2 the place is empty and they stick you at a "bad table" as a solo, ask for a different table.

I think it is weird if you don't have a non-loner mentality, at least how Anneli Rufus defines it in her book "Party of One: A Loner's Manifesto".

Though I think many aspects of her loners are traits non-loners share as well.

Why would I even hint, let alone say aloud that dining alone is a problem? You start this way, you are saying it is a problem...

I live alone, I travel a lot and I dine out a lot - both when I am in my home city and when I am on a trip - usually with the kindle in tow. The restaurants exist so that people can dine in them. It does not matter if it is 1 person or 10 - it is still customers.

Now - if someone feels uncomfortable dining alone - that's a different story. But in my experience restaurants and the people working there really do not care - if anything, the waiter usually will stop more often to check on me when I am alone than if I have company and we are talking...

Same here. When I'm dining alone early in the week I'll pick pretty much whatever restaurant I want for food and expect that the bar area will be suitable for having dinner without being jostled around by the party crowd. Except when there's a major sporting event on TV that evening, of course.

Reminiscent of the famous legend of Wild Bill Hickock who is said to have failed to sit with his back to the wall for the first time in 1876 in Deadwood, South Dakota, and was shot to death by Jack McCall while playing poker, holding Aces and eights, which has become immortalized as "Dead Man's Hand." Ideally the aces and eights should be all black cards, i.e. spades and clubs, but that is often relaxed for fun to any aces and eights irrespective of suits. After all, poker doesn't distinguish among the suits, unlike contract bridge for example.

Ditto, Ditto! And, they always seem to want to put singles in the center of the dining room. One time, I was even offered a 12 seat table and the joint wasn't half full. I'd think they would like singles who eat early/late because we tend to dine and depart. Couples may linger an hour or so.

My most amusing valentine's day meal was a random Sunday when I'd spent much of the day helping a friend prototype some software for his planned startup. Got it mostly working by 8pm, so decided to go out for some food and a drink to celebrate a successful day. It was only when the restaurant brought a special pink menu with hearts on, and we'd spotted everyone else in the whole place were couples, did either of us (single at the time) remember what the date was...

Back on topic, I dine out a lone quite a lot, both on trips and at home on nights when I decide against cooking. Unless it's something quick, I always take something to read with me, to fill the waits for service / food to arrive / etc. Never really noticed any problems, and never felt too odd, but it does seem that places with lots of business travellers are more used to it.

You guys are doing it all wrong. Sit at the bar! Even when I dine with 1-3 other people, I try to get seats at the bar (a corner if its 3-4 of us is perfect for inclusive conversation). The bar is the most underrated seat in the house. Why? Well, first off you seat yourself. You dont need to wait for permission to sit or be chauffeured to your seat. At the bar, the service is incredible! Why? Because the bartender has nowhere to hide! They usually have less than 100 sqft of room to move around! Need a drink? BOOM! The guy/girl is right there with every fluid in the restaurant located right behind them. Decide to go with the mussels instead of the scallops as your app? They have a computer right there and can usually mod your order before it hits the line. Main course taking too long? The bartender will send a barback or go themselves to inquire right away. Bartenders are there to please and because usually alcohol is involved, the scene at the bar is usually quite jovial. You can strike up conversation with other bar patrons, get ideas on what to eat when their food hits, make friends and get recommendations for other things to see/do/drink/eat from the bartender, and if you're nice sometimes you'll be given some sort of freebie like an order of arancini or maybe a swig of a new whiskey you haven't tried yet. Doesnt matter if it's a hole in the wall or a michelin starred restaurant, the bar is where it's at.

If you all are ever in Amsterdam there is a whole restaurant for single diners http://eenmaal.com/#about

opentable
 

Opentable either the website or the app is a great way to find nice places to eat solo or with a group. I use the app when i am in a new city and have been very fortunate in the selections

I remember a bit of advice from some years ago on how to get a good seat and be treated well when dining alone. Call ahead and say, "I'm calling for Contessa Von Trapp to make dinner reservations. The Contessa will be dining alone tonight and would like a table...".

I usually eat alone or sometimes with 1-2 colleagues while traveling most weeks. Always go for the bar. Service is usually quicker and bartenders can be fun to talk with. Usually get better pours that way, too. Solo dining at a bar feels much more common and less awkward to me, whether it's an Applebee's or a classy hotel

^^^^^^^

Plus, for at least some of us, it is much more comfortable seating.

Solo female traveler here, eat out alone at restaurants all the time and enjoy it. A high top table inside the bar area of the restaurant is perfect -- I can people-watch and meet other diners, but I'm not trapped talking to someone for an entire meal like I am sitting at the bar.

Two minor pet peeves:

- The "just one?" question mentioned above
- Being seated alone in a room or in the corner of a room like I'm a leper

My best experience dining solo was taking notes in a Michelin 3-star restaurant in San Sebastian, being mistaken for a food critic, and being treated to a private tour of the kitchen by a famous chef:

http://www.esmetravels.com/arzak/

Never had a massive issue dining alone, anywhere in the world. I definitely prefer not to seat at the bar though, because of the height and the usual bar stool arrangement.

My oddest experience dining alone was in Bangkok. I was seated at a beautiful 6-top in a nearly private alcove on the balcony, looking out over the city (restaurant was on a high floor). It was like a throne, and I was king of the world...but there was also an adjacent 6-top, in the same alcove though respectfully separated, and there was a solo female diner at THAT table, also looking out over the world. It felt a bit...odd. We weren't close enough to interact, but we were both seated in the same position (the one with the view) so there was an implicit pairing.

<and no, for the wits out there, it wasn't that kind of woman. Just a standard business traveller type :p >

I eat most of the time alone and one of my best partner is any thing to read on a book or a magazine or my mobile phone checking my mails just to make use and maximize my time while waiting my orders or while waiting they will entertain me.

I (a woman) dined alone frequently when travelling for work for a few decades, so from a social perspective, it doesn't bother me at all now that I don't travel so much for work anymore.

I'm fine with eating at the bar, except for one thing -- the crappy ergonomics of most bars for eating a meal. Some bars have a foot rail that sticks out so far, and/or a big curved piece of wood molding on the edge of the bar, that it is hard to get close enough to the bar to eat comfortably. I understand the practical purpose of the foot rail but not so much the big bar molding --- are glasses and plates and bowls sliding off bars really that much of a problem? Never seen one slide off once in all my life.

These things aren't such noticeable obstacles when you're reaching for a drink or a slice of pizza so much as when you're trying to lean near a bowl of soup or plate of food (the bars at the Flat Top Grill chain come to mind).

This may be less of an issue for the average man, who is about 5 inches taller than the average woman. Frankly, the foot rail is often of no use to most women, who are not tall enough to be able to put their feet on it and sit comfortably on the bar stool at the same time. All it does is make it hard for them to move the bar stool as close to the bar as they would like to be able to eat comfortably. I'm 5'5", by the way, which is the US average height for a woman. I would usually prefer to sit at the bar to eat, drink, and watch TV when I'm out alone, but if I'm trying to eat a meal and the foot rail and bar rail make it too uncomfortablle, I'll ask to switch to a table.

Maybe the molding is for spill containment.

I'm almost 5" taller than you and I sometimes can't touch the footrail. It's just something to trip over on my way out of the stool after a couple beers.

The molding is for comfortably leaning your forearms on between sips.@:-):)

My leisure travel is mainly alone. I've eaten a lot alone, and usually it doesn't bother me. I have never experienced that the restaurant staff somehow feels akward dealing with me dining alone. I normaly just ask for "table for one". I'm fine eating at the bar and sometimes prefer it.

I usually bring a book to read in. Either a novel or the guide book for the city I'm visiting. Then I can use the dinner to plan for what to see/to do the next day and look at maps to plan the best route/order to visit the places I want to see.

So, as I said, fine for having a drink at the bar; not conducive to eating a meal at the bar.

Yes, I have occasionally seen moldings which kept the food a bit too far away to be comfortable. Most notably when eating soup.

Not sure self esteem is the real issue. For example, in the case of your co-worker, I can pretty much guarantee that when she was growing up, she was told "nice girls don't eat alone in public" or something similar. There used to be a stigma attached to women dining alone (in some areas/communities) because it suggested that you were a "working girl" and looking for company. I know some of my friends heard that at home, and I'm not that old. ;)

I, on the other hand, grew up with a dad who said "Your money is as good as anybody else's; if you don't get good service, speak up!"

FWIW I have maybe twice in my life encountered attitude for being a "party of one" and I chose not to let their attitude problem become my problem.

I commented earlier in this thread that it's annoying when you tell the host/server you need a table for one and they reply "just one"?

So, I just returned to my hotel (Cape Town) with some food I picked up and went to the bar to order a bottle of wine to take to my room (which I'll also consume tomorrow night as well). BTW, I'm not eating in my room because I mind eating at the restaurant alone, I'm eating in my room because I look/feel gross from walking around all day in the sun and wind.

The bartender asks me how many glasses. His response?: "Just one glass?" Then as I'm walking out another restaurant employee also comments "Just one glass?"

So you can't win. Back to my sauvignon blanc now...

I agree with CDTraveler that entering a restaurant or bar alone is different for a woman than for a man. It has been that way all my life, and it doesn't seem to me to be any more than marginally less so now than it was ten or twenty years ago.

Bars that don't serve food are perhaps the most awkward places for a woman alone; taking a seat at a bar at a bar/restaurant is less awkward; asking for a table at a restaurant without a bar is the least awkward of the three. It helps if you dress and behave as if you're a business traveler (even if you're not). It helps to have a magazine or book (or these days, smartphone) to browse to avoid looking around and noticing that someone is staring at you.

I don't think it's an issue for women only; I know some men who say they don't like dining out alone, for whatever reasons. I'm just saying that for a variety of reasons of which men might not be aware, popping into a restaurant or especially a bar is often not as carefree and comfortable an experience for a woman who's alone than for a man who's alone.

One of my best experiences dining alone happened at a restaurant with an oval shaped bar wide enough to hold a full place mat and then some. The stools had low backs to hold a coat. There were even purse hooks under the counter. Not only was there no attitude about dining alone, I was given the option of sitting at the bar or a table. I was merely walking by thinking about where to eat. The hostess was standing in front of the patio dining area facing the street, offered up samples, talked up the menu to me and didn't blink at the solo diner request.

The bar seemed to be very social - singles, groups of two, even a group of three. The two guys in suits sitting next to me even turned around and toasted me when I received my drink.

The happy hour specials included drinks and fresh oysters. Seeing as I was front and center to the bartender and oyster shucker I had great service. This was a higher end place that formed part of a local restaurant group located in a busy shopping/business district.

For the first time in recent memory, dining alone actually caused an issue tonight. I found a place in Montreal I wanted to try and I waited about 10 minutes for a table. I got up to the front of the line and two parties of two were taken before me. The hostess apologize but stated they couldn't have a table with more than two empty chairs so I had to wait for a two-top to open up before I got sat. No big deal as it cost me maybe 5 minutes.

I'm constantly around and interacting with people. I love going for a meal alone or going to the movies alone when the need strikes. Yes, i get that i am still around people but i feel no need to interact with them other than to order

That used to be a somewhat common occurrence for me, but has not happened for at least 20 years.

This thread leaves me scratching my head a bit. I eat alone in restaurants very frequently, and I don't recall ever having an uncomfortable experience in doing so. Often I eat at the bar, but by no means always. Service has never been an issue in the least. I must be lucky!

I eat out alone both when traveling and locally. I am a relatively short woman (5'2") and find eating at the bar physically uncomfortable. I have never given eating alone a second thought and have been surprised when female colleagues tell me they order room service because they can't face eating out alone. I have had a few waitstaff in Asia push a newspaper or magazine - I actually prefer not to read while waiting for my meal. I asked a waiter in Cambodia why he was so insistent. He replied it would let everyone know I was not there looking for customers. I was 49 at the time! A restaurant host in my US home city said "Just one? That is so sad." I responded I wasn't at all sad about it and thought it was far better to dine alone than with bad company. He seemed quite surprised that I didn't agree with him.

I admire your restraint.
I would have told him where to go in two words and walked out.

My recent experiences:
One place the waitress presumed I wanted to sit at the bar (the place looked pretty full, but after when two guests came in together and she directed them to the bar and they asked if they couldn't sit elsewhere she sat there is plenty of space and led them in). Admittedly she was on the phone so couldn't really talk much other than motion with hands.
Another place there was no bar, so I sat at a table for 4 all by myself. I was wondering if the waiter was going to try to move me because a party of three came in after with nowhere to sit. But no, I guess in America they don't move you just because you don't take up all the seats.

When I've eaten alone (and I have many times in my life. Usually lunch from work, but also traveling and when I wasn't married), I haven't been bothered too much about the 'Are you eating alone?' and the horrified look of pity for the single middle-aged female who is all alone in the world. Since I AM married, I brush it off and smile. I always have a project with me, usually a book or a notebook.

I don't care for the bar option, as high chairs hurt my back and legs. I've left restaurants where the only options available are the high chairs.