Originally Posted by photojojo (Post 17775650)

Love love love the pumps....

It's nice to calm down concerned little old ladies and tell them what it is - but it's just as fun to look startled too when you're sitting next to an already panicked flyer. :D

Originally Posted by bartendress (Post 17773746)

I find making fun of a first-time-flyer offensive and an inappropriate use of this forum.

Originally Posted by vasantn (Post 17775860)

Give me a break. :rolleyes:

Originally Posted by bartendress (Post 17773746)

I find making fun of a first-time-flyer offensive and an inappropriate use of this forum.

Originally Posted by AKC6 (Post 17778967)

Have you ever told a drunk joke? or laughed at one?

Originally Posted by Paddlenpedal (Post 17779002)

Spent 8 years flying the line for Uncle Sam on C-130's. Got to see a LOT of first time flyers, mostly Army. THAT was entertaining! Especially those first time flyers who don't get to experience a landing, just the takeoff. Once that door opens, and the wind hit's them square in the face with a great big blast of wind (and reality!) you REALLY get to see a nervous flyer! You could almost set your watch to the face reactions. On boarding, you see a bunch of rough, tough, killers and heartbreakers. On engine start you see a few start to wiggle a bit.....On takeoff, a few more show signs of stress and shock....but when the order for "Outboard Personnel, stand UP! Hook Up! Check Equipment!" comes, they're as docile as kittens!

Funny thing is, the first jump isnt usually too bad.....it's getting them to do it the second time that things get really interesting! And, you haven't experienced turbulence, unless you've experienced it sitting sideways in a cargo plane flying nap of the earth in the desert mountains yanking and banking. I don't care how many hours you've been on an airliner, NOTHING can prepare you for that!

Originally Posted by xolinlevh (Post 17771772)

So last night me and a friend went on a spur-of-the-moment trip to chicago, MSP-MDW. totally empty flight on a 320, me and companion upgrades clear instantly.

About 10 min before departure a mother and younger daughter board and take seats in 1C/D, guessing they bought the upgrade at the gate as they were pushing it for only $50. They were marveling at being in first, which i found very cute :) The FAs did a great job of making them feel welcome, got them both Delta pins took coats talked and joked with them, offered them a drink and the mom leaped at the red wine. The mom takes a good couple minutes to figure out how the seat belts work (my first clue this isnt just a first time in first, but prob a first time flyer) She intently follows along with the safety briefing, studies the safety card. as the plane pushes back, she clasps her hands and starts praying, then crosses herself, then CHUGS the rest of the wine.

we taxi out with no one ahead of us, pilot punches it and she lets out an audible "oh lord" and digs her hands into the arm rests. We speed up for a min and then pull up, at which point she screams and buries her face in the magazine she is holding.

rest of the climb, cruse, and decent are uneventful until we land and when the brakes slam on she screams again.

This totally makes up for no AVOD ;) best in flight entertainment in years!!

Originally Posted by bartendress (Post 17779557)

I've a joke to many a drunk. Laughed at plenty of drunks, too.

I'm also familiar with the concept of sarcasm.

Originally Posted by DLdweeb (Post 17779616)

I like your style! ^

Another gin and tonic, por favor...

Originally Posted by AUDirt (Post 17772543)

This is only funny if you're not next to them.

A few months ago I was in 2A and a nervous flyer was in 2B. She spent all flight grabbing me at every bump of turbulence. I found it annoying to say the least.