From Taking Sense Away Blog: TSA policy generator
 

Nappy ...

Due to recent intelligence suggesting that terrorists may be planning to use people’s nappy to inflict harm upon our transportation infrastructure, we are pleased to announce that random swabbing of people’s nappy will now constitute the 21st security layer successfully implemented by TSA since its inception.

Constitutional rights...

Terrorists are ruthless, with ever-evolving tactics to disrupt our nation’s transportation infrastructure and compromise our way of life. It is essential that our security procedures evolve, as well. As a result, a passenger’s Constitutional rights will now be confiscated at airport security checkpoints.
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Neither fictional nor funny.

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In order to reduce the chance of being held up by our new Run Safe Screening™, joggers should leave their pepper spray or mace at home, wear form fitting clothing, electronics-free shoes, and shape their running posture and motion so that officers will not confuse the jogger for a terrorist’s search.

It didn't quite work with "marijuana." ;)

We remind the public that 9/11 happened, that terrorists are out there plotting to destroy America’s marijuana, and that the TSA will do whatever is necessary to fulfill its mission to protect America’s transportation infrastructure with all 20 state-of-the-art risk-based layers.

The recent failure of a TSA officer to detect a passengers’ weaponized marijuana is unfortunate, but marijuana screening is just one of many security layers at work in our unpredictable risk-based screening.


Weaponized pot ! wow! :D

They may be onto something. Check out the last section of the recently revised TSA prohibited item list:

http://www.tsa.gov/traveler-informat...ohibited-items

The nation is now much safer with the TSA’s implementation of full testosterone scanning and swabbing.

Penis

A passenger’s penis will be allowed on trains, as long as they are able to fit inside of a quart size zip top baggie.

Apparently my inner 12 year old came out today.

panties (yes this is really what it came up with):

"The recent news of a TSA officer’s arrest in connection with the
panties bomb plot is disturbing. However, TSA employees represent just one of the 20 risk-based security layers the TSA has put in place to defend the nation’s travel infrastructure from the ever-evolving terrorist threat."

We believe that the recent discovery of a passenger’s supposed breast milk represents a dry run of a multi-layered terrorist plot designed to exploit our multi-layered risk-based security approach.

It is hilarious :)

"Cat"

We believe that the recent discovery of a passenger’s supposed Cat represents a dry run of a multi-layered terrorist plot designed to exploit our multi-layered risk-based security approach