Etiquette in asking for the swap
 

I am curious to know what you fters all think of asking someone to swap seats with someone with whom you are travelling when you are on the plane...and also if it's happened to you.

I am basically wanting on a 747 F flight to ask the guy/girl in 1K to swap with my friend in 2K so we can sit next to each other.(i am in 1A). Alternatively i am considering asking the same of 2A to swap with me.

What would be the correct thing to do (if anything at all)? Should i just accept where we are?

You might want to edit the thread title PDQ while you have your 5 mins grace before people think it's about rice wine.

The title should obviously read asking for the swap!

Sure but if you edit it quick it'll change it!

Like for like or for better, if I'm asked politely I have no problem with it generally and have swapped in the past. As noted myriad times on here though, it's how you ask that matters - don't assume, don't demand, don't get stroppy...politeness and a humble request goes a long way.

However, I wouldn't be swapping 1AK for something else personally without an exceptional reason. I like my 1AK!

What does the seatmap look like for your flight? It's a risky strategy - too risky IMHO. If 1A was empty and you were in 1K as a Gold then you may want to wait as long 3 days before and chance moving your g/f in to 1A. But if it's already taken that means you're banking on a Gold/Prem moving for you. I wouldn't bank on that. I would look for other seats together at 4EF/5EF or 5AE/5FK at worst.

If it's a genuinely chokka flight you may not have much choice - but I wouldn't risk playing the game if you have a choice right now...unless you're willing to end up separated for the flight in the end.

I prefer 1AK for the forward view, the cupboard and the cosy privacy. But if you asked me to swap into row 2 so you could be closer to your friend, I would if I was travelling alone, so as to avoid the awkwardness of refusal. But don't talk too loudly if I am trying to sleep! But what if my friend was also in row 2, and we wanted to sit together as well. Which couple would get Row 1, and who 2?

JS

You see that's exactly how i and i think most would feel! I am hoping that this is the case if it comes to it!

Spot on.

I've only been asked twice times and on both occasions it wasn't done politely ("I take it you don't mind if..." Well, I do mind actually!) On each occasion I moved, but only after thoroughly embarrassing the other person with a comment about their presumption and bad manners.

Well you see at the moment 1K is actually free however i am just assuming that it will be taken. Surely i wont be the only Gold in F. It is a west coast route which i imagine are quite busy? If the flight was over night it wouldnt bother me! But its my friend's first ever flight in F so i want us to be next to each other. The seats already occupied are 1A,2A,3A,2K,4E,4F,5F. The only other option seems to be 5A AND 5E...but we all know the cons of these.

1AK's exceptionally high value depends to a great extent on getting both seats. Combination of room, privacy and an ability to speak to your partner. If you're solo then it's only about 1% nicer than having 2K alone since you'll be looking at your screen or out the window anyway, and row 2 is pretty quiet and has lots of free space around it anyway. Of COURSE I'd give up a solo 1K for a solo 2K if asked nicely. No doubt many on this forum will disagree with me but then it don't surprise me, nor does it surprise me that the 'change seat requests' quoted above have been rather rudely put in some cases. It's generally symptomatic of the lack of niceness of people who travel in first class.

I'll always try and help if it is a polite request, but what always makes me livid (and very stubborn about moving) is if I board...and find someone already sitting in my seat! Then they say something like 'I didn't think you'd mind...'. Never happened to me in F, but it has happened to me on several occasions in Club Europe and once in Club World.
Last time someone wanted me to swap from 64A to 63A which definitely wasn't acceptable.
Preferably I think people should wait til everyone's boarded before asking - there may be some unexpected empty seats which could resove the issue without having to disturb anyone. Especially on BA departing LHR when half the transfer passengers have missed their connection due to delays...
The other thing that always strikes me is how such requests nearly ALWAYS seems to involve moving to a worse seat! Very rarely to a better seat...
I mainly travel on my own so I think maybe I am especially vulnerable to being asked.
I think most people may be more open to moving if the request comes from the Cabin Crew rather than pax...

And I personally WOULD be happy to move from row 1 to 2 if asked nicely (assuming they hadn't just sat in 'my' seat!)....the only seat I wouldn't move to would be one of those middle seats...!

I always like this kind of thing to be brokered by the FA.

Not sure I agree. It's best done, politely, before the arriving pax have settled in. Cabin crew are terribly busy during loading and if you ask one, even in F, chances are that they wont be able to do anything till the pax in q has already stowed shows, unstowed cosmetics books etc, started the video and so on. No, I think it is best done politely and sensitively in person .. and if there is an option then offer the other guy the upgrade! (e.g. if you are seated in 64A and 63B then offer up your 64A for their 63A). Just courtesy...

Once in Business class CDG-EZE my wife and I were split so I suggested she asked the gentleman sitting beside her if he wouldn't mind moving to allow me to sit beside her - same seat only on the port side he didn't seem to mind although he wasn't exactly jumping for joy.

Once on the LHR-GLA shuttle I suggested to the Stewardess (before she had the chance to ask) I give up my bulkhead aisle seat for a seat way down the back so an old dear could have her loving husband next to her - the old dear was delighted and I got loads of extra drinks from the Stewardess.^

I can't see why anyone would want to sit in 1K if they were travelling on their own, and a stranger came and sat in 1A.

Especially if it's a girl that's in 1K.

I suggest you go up and to seat 1A (am assuing you are a "he"), and act really gross, pick your nose or start scratching yourself. Then invite her to swap with your friend in 2A. I'm sure she will move quicker than you can say "feed me while we taxi".

Again it comes down to how you ask. I am sure a single person travelling alone probably wouldnt mind but please do not presume or get stroppy (or act obnoxiously as (jokingly?) suggested by Smirnoff.

People choose seats for a reason and if they particularly want that seat - it is just bad luck if you can not have it.

The only time I've ever asked anyone if they could vacate a seat was when a passenger was occupying two seats (in CW), one with himself and one with a pile of his things. I asked him at the suggestion of the flight attendant if he could move his things so that a friend, who was travelling in Y, could take the seat. This was after the second meal had been served, i.e. about half an hour before landing on a 12-hour flight. The reason was that there was a wheelchair waiting for me at the gate (I had a broken foot) and the FA wanted us both off the plane ahead of everyone else.
It was quite incredible just the grumpy the passenger got about moving a pile of books and papers from an otherwise unoccupied seat.

I don't think I have ever been asked to move myself. If asked to vacate a seat with more legroom (e.g. an exit row - including row 62 in NNCW where you can stick your feet out more when sleeping) for one with less, I'd be very reluctant to do so. But a marginal downgrade (62A instead of 62K) I could live with if the other pax had a good reason for moving.

I was in 2K and my wife (plus rugrat) in 1K for a flight to SIN where i was a lowly silver i was unable to grab 1A despite my wife getting 1K (no FFP) due to the bassinet seat.
Upon boarding and sorting stuff out the chap in 1A offered his seat to me seeing that we were obviously together (both scruffy 30-somethings in amongst a cabin of smart 50-somethings ;))
I initially said no need (stiff british upper lip in action), but he insisted and I accepted, remarking that he was giving up the best seat on the plane! He said that it was better to see a couple next to each other than hog a slightly better seat for 'selfish' reasons. Wow, what a nice bloke...
Side note - Any fears that the F passengers had with a 13month old baby in their midst were squashed when she slept for 11hours and not a sound whilst awake :eek: - Most of them couldn't believe it!
dj

Me: "Would you mind switching with me so my wife and I can sit together?"

Other pax: "Sod off"

Me: "OK then, but I gotta warn you...I need to pee like every 5 minutes, so I'll be climbing over you a lot. Plus I snore real bad. Also, I didn't take my anti-gas pill before this flight and I intend to drink lots of champagne."

And this is why the seating policy leaves a lot to be desired. Why should we of no status not be able to sit with our travelling companions because a bunch of single status travellers decided to plonk themselves in rows which would otherwise be empty blocks of two?

Can you not do a total complete party and link both PNRs? I'd have thought this way your travelling companion could also take row 1...or could they not?

I'm surprised someone hasn't suggested this which means I am wrong :p

;) Doesn't matter how the bookings are linked, 1AK are so hallowed that unless you're both Gold, you're not getting in them. I inferred from the OP that they are actually on the same PNR so no 'need' for a TCP - it doesn't help either way. It's just that given the seats already taken as Abstract1 posted, there aren't many options. Personally, I think I'd take 5A and 5E and offer the person in 5F a swap to 5A on the day - I think on balance that is most likely to succeed - i.e. who would want to be in an EF seat next to half a couple vs. an A or K seat? I can't understand that being refused if put politely...but I can understand someone not wanting to give up the super-private 1AK option, especially as a lone traveller.

:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

The travellers who are more valuable to BA get first pick of any seats. Not just status travellers, but also those who purchase full-fare tickets. Quite simple really. ^

The BA seating policy on people travelling together isn't that great - I think many people here have agreed about that at great length before.

However, I don't think you can expect someone to give up a seat for a significantly worse seat just so two companions can sit next to each other. The reason people with status get better seats ultimately boils down to the same sort of business reasons that people who with a club ticket generally get a better seat than people with an economy ticket. You wouldn't expect someone in J to give up his seat for someone in Y so that two other pax (say one with a club ticket, one with a Y ticket) can sit together. [Of course, most of the time, you ought to be able to find someone with whom to swap, where the other person gets a seat that is at least as good as his current one.]

I have had to travel separately from a travelling companion on a number of occasions. In fact, it has happened to me on at least five flights so far this year. On each occasion we both survived the experience. In fact, although the companionship up to the point of boarding and after disembarking is valuable, on the plane I often find that the proportion of time spent asleep (even on short-haul flights, by one or other of two people) makes any effort to be seated together rather a waste of energy.

I was a Middle East GOLD for MANY years..... shame there is no "life time" qualifying with BA. When I travel alone, I am not too worried about where I sit... what REALLY bothers me is NOT being able to sit with my partner.... now that I have been reduced to Blue.....
The only time I was asked if I would mind swopping seats was in WTP on a 777 to DXB about 4 years ago, in 23A.
I was feeling a bit flat as it was my fith WTP flight, and the first time that I hadn't been U/graded....I had been told that there were only 7 of us in WTP but it was FULL- upgrades from WT. A chap introduced himself, informed me that I was sitting next to his mother, and would I like to swop seats?
I asked him nicely where he was sitting, and he said "14J"
I thanked him, wished them both a good flight, & grabbed my hand baggage..!

Wow - "threatening" someone to get what you want - did you chuck your toys out of the pram a lot as a baby?

Given that the OP was for 1AK the fact that you have a small bladder is pretty much irrelevant ;)

Assuming J/F travel I am not sure how you expect BA to seat any single travellers - they will always take one seat out of a block of two - should couples get priority when booking seats?

I have moved seats a couple of times - once when I was too tired to argue (and was threatened with "I will be up all night" - even though the stupid gimp slet all night) and once when they offered a similar seat and I had hada couple of bubbles in the lounge so was feeling generous.

The fact that you can't sit next to your other half on one segment shouldnt mean that my 40 hours of carefully planned travel should be chucked out of the window.

I think if someone did what you suggest I would be tempted to retain my seat out of spite - but that would be sinking down to your level.

Quite. I boarded the EDI to LGW flight yesterday evening to find someone else sitting in my seat (1A). I was standing next to the FA so said that there was someone in my seat. She asked to see the boading pass of the other passenger who should have been seated in a middle seat further back. He said that it was all a mistake because he was supposed to be sitting in the seat next to his male friend in 1B. I was asked if I would move to the other seat (but told that I didn' have to) but wasn't feeling much like it with a much worse seat on offer and after 2 15 hour working days so I declined.

However, I wasn't prepared for the tirade of abuse from his travelling companion in 1B that followed who proceeded to tell me what my sex life must be like in graphic detail and it got so abusive that I told the FA that I wasn't prepared to sit and listen to abuse for the entire flight. She asked him to stop and he got quite let's say 'animated' about the whole affair until she told him that it was quite enough. We continued with him telling me that now I had to sit next to him for the entire flight and dealing out low insults under his breath which made me very uncomfortable. Not only that but I was also gasping for air most of the time (why is it that European men don't ever use deodorant?).

I was wondering what sort of abuse I might suffer once we landed (being female and travelling alone) but luckily before we were even on stand he leapt up with the plane still moving, dealt out a few more insults and then rushed to the door to be first in line. FAs did nothing. As soon as the door was open he (thankfully) disappeared into the distance. His travelling companion however managed to deliberately barge past me pushing me to one side whilst walking through to arrivals so all in all a very unpleasant experience.

If it had been a little old lady separated from her husband or someone separated from a child, or even been asked politely I would probably have moved but 2 40ish guys travelling together on an hour long flight didn't seem to be a good case to me. I didn't set the BA seating policy after all!

If it was me and I'd been separated from a companion (especially on such a short flight) I'd just have accepted my lot without question.

I was travelling in F and was only able to get the following seats with the family, wife in 2K and children in 2EF with me in 3A. Boarded the plane and 2A and 4A both occupied by a couple travelling together as was 1EF, 4EF and 5EF. The couple in 2A and 4A could see that I was seated further from my family then was ideal and asked me if I would like to swap 3A with 2A. Saved me the the dilemma^

Kazza, that's a bad experience! Why didn't the FA move the guy in 1B back next to his mate, and whoever was sitting back with the mate up to 1B?

JS

With that level of abuse I would have been asking the FAs to deplane (if not taken off) or move them back to J.

Back to J, from EDI to LGW :confused:

That would be fantastic on EDI-LGW to be mooved to J. Its only a one class flight and all Y ;):D

Etiquette? Honestly I roar with laughter when I read these threads about Etiquette. The Oxford dictionary defines this as "Convential rules of personal behaviour in polite society, ceremony of Court, unwritten code resrticting professional persons in what concerns the interests of their colleagues or the dignity of their profession".

So we are asked what is the dignified way of asking someone to give up a seat that the OP is clearly not anxious to forego for himself. This is not a criticism but a comment. The emphasis is on how to get the other person moved rather than move oneself. Clearly we all want the best and so does everyone else. I'd book into the nearest available seat keep checking OLCi - this person could easily change or cancel at the last moment as is the way in F and you will have it for yourself. Unless the person asks would you like to swap - do not raise the subject yourself. It is entirely possible that they may join you for meals. Me I think that I would sap with who ever was in 4f or E and have the two together.

As for threatening with climbing over for toilets I would say that as a tried and tested groper climbing over me would be an open invitatin and that if he did that often I would regard that as a come-on. Now did he want to threaten some more or bow to the inevitable and take me with my hands to myself.

Maybe there is a very simple etiquette rule - with a choice between whether you or your companion moves (and for two people travelling together there will almost always be that choice available) then always offer the swap that results in the 3rd party getting an improved seat. They are doing you a favour, they should get the reward. If that rule was followed in every single case then there would be no issue, and no-one would ever be embarassed by asking for a swap. Fair consideration on both sides. I can't think of any situation other than First (with its assymetric layout) and baby bassinets where you wouldn't ALWAYS be in a position to offer another pax a seat at least as good if not better. In any club world flight if you are in separate window or aisle seats you could ALWAYS make an offer to a pair of singleton centre row pax to take both your seats, you end up sitting together and they end up with better seats. It's only sheer selfishness that makes us want to win better seats AS WELL AS sit by our companions that causes the problems.

I was in 1K not so long ago, get on the plane and this elderly couple have plonked themselves down in 1A and 1K. Now upon leaving the lounge it had looked like 1A was still available (the flight "is not full in F") so perhaps these were upgrades or something? Anyway, I was basically told to shove off back to 5K. I was not impressed by the cabin crew who simply assumed I would move, nor by the elderly couple who assumed likewise. That is not good etiquette.

Of course, I moved with minimal fuss but it is annoying to be treated so dismissively in such circumstances. On the other hand, I was in F and there was champagne being poured so I recovered quickly...

PS Do not get me started on having booked AC on Club Europe and being asked to move (t0 DEF) due to a couple with a young baby and the layout of oxygen masks onboard. Happened to me twice. Grrrrr.

That was very badly handled by the sound of it :td:

It could have been even worse though I suppose, 5e or 5f...

This is always a touchy subject. On the one hand, I would never turn down a reasonable exchange (like in this example), but is it fair to put someone in that position? I mean, I would make the switch because it is the polite thing to do, and almost feel obligated. Do I want someone else to do it, knowing that many will say yes, even if they don't really want to? Definitely a thorny issue, but I guess a reasonable like-for-like/better request is perfectly proper.

On a recent trip, I did have to ask someone to switch. The wife and I were traveling on separate PNRs, with me already in CW. At check-in, we bought the wife an upgrade to CW and snagged seats together on the Upper Deck. Well, the wife goes through boarding without a problem. I go through boarding and the agent scratches out my seat and writes down 1A. While normally I would be happy, this would obviously not sit well with the wife. I talk to the purser; he says that the fellow next to the wife hasn't boarded and that he will swap us. Well, it doesn't work, I'm standing in the guy's seat, looking like a first-class idiot, and left asking the guy to swap. Luckily I had 1A to barter with, but I still felt like I was imposing.

I'd agree it is better handled through the crew...and IIRC you are supposed to ask them for permission to move anyhow. Certainly if I move seats in a cabin I always ask rather than assume.

I've turned down requests in the past - most recently to move from 64K to 64B so a couple could sit together. I politely said no, explained why (needed to sleep as going straight to office, like the extra legroom, selected this seat specially). The crew member was a bit taken aback, but accepted my reasons. I like to help when I can, but disadvantaging myself just so people can sit together seems daft. Had it been a family with a young child, it might have been different. I'd have asked for a seat downstairs instead. ;)

I've never had any problems, but totally agree that this should always be handled through the cabin crew.

On a recent flight in WTP a chap on the other side of the cabin had asked someone sitting in an aisle seat if he would swap for another aisle seat on the opposite side of the cabin so he could sit with his friend. He agreed, no problems. Then as he was settling down in his new seat, the chap who had agreed to swap noticed that the CSD was talking to the other chap sitting in his original seat, before proceeding to move him up to J! He grabbed another crew member to try to explain that he thought it should be him being upgraded, but it was all too late. He was not best pleased!

To his credit the CSD did come back down to talk to him. Apparently he should have got the upgrade, but when he spoke to the other two chaps they had not made any mention of the swap, so he thought he was upgrading the right person. The CSD did say that all changes should be done through the crew, otherwise he has no way of knowing. He did get a bottle of bubbly to try to make up.

I suspect the FA simply wasn't used to people who are as picky about their seats as the average FT member. On my last flight from JFK I mentioned to the friendly passenger in 62J how nice it was that my favourite seat (62K) wasn't broken. She was amazed I had a favourite seat and quite curious to know what was so special about it.

As I said above, it wouldn't take much more than a polite request to make me give up my seat for one that was only very marginally worse (like 62A). But for a significantly worse seat it would need a rather special reason like someone needing to be next to a very elderly or disabled relative that they were caring for. In much the same way, I would (and do) give up my seat on the train for someone who badly needs it, but not just for someone who's a bit uncomfortable standing because he's fat.

Situation:

LHR-SFO, First flight for partner in F.
I am silver so no 1A/K
4E/F taken
Currently in 2 A/K
Other seats available - 3A, 4K, 5A/K, 5E/F

Question:
Which option is best?
1) Stay with 2 A/K and wave to partner across cabin
2) Move to 5E/F for 'couple-time' but less 'F' experience.
3) or 2A & 3A perhaps...?