Did i ask for anything unreasonable. (upgraded in error, original seat unavail)
 

I was flying sea to mia in a exit row aisle and i was upgraded at the gate. Shortly before boarding the agent said she gave me my upgrade in error the only seat left was a middle seat i asked for the same seat or equivalent. She refused saying either take that seat or dont fly today. Was i wrong in asking for a equivalent seat?

What does "upgrade in error mean"

A Mr. Saniel Dolis actually got the upgrade.

someone was added to the upgrade list after i cleared that was higher than me.

I was thinking it was Danielonn.

It was perfectly reasonable to ask. If there had been something equivalent available, asking would have likely meant receiving.

But, as you found out, neither AA nor any carrier I know of will rearrange the Y cabin when something happens. It's unpleasant, but it's the way it is.

You were asking for something reasonable. However, they don't have that kind of seats available. Very pathetic that while you are an EXP flying Main Cabin, you are no different than a non-status flying Basic Economy (by the way probably a BE pax clear into your original seat).

AA needs to sort out this upgrade list. 2 days ago, I did SDFC and the app said I was requested for a UG on the earlier flight. Turns out I wasn't and 3 pax cleared. I inquired to be added and the GA said its full and blew me off.

Full on mickey mouse club these days at AA.

Policy is that once the upgrade list is processed, upgrades are not taken away from those already cleared. I once had a very disappointed (but ultimately understanding) conciergekey that had a specific premium services representative explain this rule to him when he was rebooked last minute onto a flight, showed as #1 on the list, and still didn't get the upgrade.

OP, I would write in and explain the circumstances as clearly as possible. I fully expect some miles or other gesture for the error.

Dont let AA get away with this.. asking for your original seat is not unreasonable., AA needs to be understanding of your circumstance.. (they probably wont)
Is it me, or do we now have AA agents , just not bothered to even show that they might care?

Nothing like compounding a problem - following up one error with another.

It seems to me that the upgrade list should be closed out at T-45. From my experience GAs begin to clear upgrades at around T-40. If the list was closed then there wouldn't be a situation like this.

Why on earth should that happen?

That inconveniences some of AA's highest-paying passengers for the benefit of people booking the cheapest seat.

It does keep you on the list prior to gate, in my experience. Hit or miss for me to get back on the gate list automatically. A DM to Twitter if you're checked in or a trip to the kiosk when you get to the airport will fix it for the gate. Shouldn't have to happen, but I have also learned the hard way.