Okay, so if I understand this correctly, an SSSS designation on my boarding pass will entitle me to:

(1) a semi-intimate encounter with a TSO of my own gender (assuming my gender is readily ascertainable)

(2) a thorough and exhaustive search through all of the contents of all of my belongings, which search will take place only after all the contents of my carry-ons have been dumped unceremoniously onto a dirty counter from which another passenger's dog-.... encrusted shoes have been removed only moments before.

Have I got that right?

If I should be so audacious as to carry with me a full-sized and already opened box of kleenex, would it be SOP to leaf through each of the remaining sheets in the kleenex box before moving on to a detailed inspection of my underwear? (Although, as I understand it, there is some room for discretion here, and some TSOs would prefer to do the undies first . . .)