Flight Attendant, this is seat 47Alfa, requesting clearance for toilette 4Bravo"
"47Alfa, Roger, eye contact, please advise estimate time to piss"
"FA, ahh... estimating 10 minutes, I think I can hold 5 minutes more, 47Alfa."
"Copy, please stand-bye. 37Delta, please confirm vacate toilette 4Bravo."
"Affirm, vacating via right aisle to seat as cleared"
"49Hotel, you are cleared to piss at 4Bravo, please expedite I have traffic almost overflowing"
"Roger, cleared for 4B, will do it swiftly, no solids foreseen, 49Hotel"
"47Alfa, you cleared to line-up right aisle, facing toilette 4Bravo, maintain visual with traffic passing heading row 37"
"Roger, line-up right aisle facing 4Bravo, I have traffic in sight, seems much relieved, 47Alfa"
"Mayday, mayday, mayday, this is 33Echo with solids turning into liquid, request immediate toilette"
"33Echo, got your mayday, cleared direct toilette 4Bravo, please advise passing row 45. Break break. 49Hotel, please expedite and confirm status. Break break. 47Alfa, sorry I have to put you on hold, please turn right 1-8-0 degrees and walk to the front of the plane, when reaching the galley turn left and execute a left circuit between galley and wall, beware of traffc on hold 2 rows below"
"FA, 49Hotel has vacated the toilette 4Bravo"
"Roger, 49Hotel cleared for seat and thank you". "33Echo you are cleared direct to toilette 4Bravo, if you require further assistance please contact regular FAs by ringing the toilette chime. Good luck, sir".
"Roger, dir... to... bravo... oh my god".
"33Echo, comms broken, any problem, sir? Please confirm status."
"Well, let's just say the .... already hit my props, and yes, I will need further assistance now, 33Echo" (with a final sigh).