This trip was a consolation prize. I had applied for a job in Tel Aviv, another in San Francisco. I got the job in San Francisco, so I decided to take a fling to Israel before I move to California.

Although I’d really hoped to fly with El Al, their fares were at least $1,000 higher than the competition, almost $2,000 higher than Delta. Although I couldn’t snag a flight on the 777 (via Atlanta) on the outbound, I got a decent fare, and the benefit of 150 percent elite miles, something that Continental does not offer with discounted Business Class fares.

The afternoon prior to departure, I stunned myself by checking in on line. No SSSS, which was definitely a plus.

There was no line to check-in, and Delta has added a First/Medallion line at check-in. The kiosk happily accepted my passport and I assigned myself a nicer seat. A grim agent tagged my bag. I had to be assertive to get a yellow priority tag, but he didn’t balk at the idea. In the past, the yellow tags have carried some significance in Tel Aviv, so it’s worth asking.

There was a 10-minute wait at security, but I was off the hook: they were busy making a girl with Down Syndrome cry. Good work, TSA. I’ll bet they sleep well at night!

Soon I was at Starbucks, and off to the gate for half an hour of free WiFi.

7 June 2008
Delta (Chatauqua Airlines) 6382
Embraer 145
Seat 4B
There was a fair bit of drama at the gate. There was a weight problem. I assume this was due to the weight of the baggage, but this was

Columbus, where we have patients too big to fit in the hospital MRI, so they go to the vet school. (No, I’m not making that up.) Anyway, there was a lot of back and forth between the gate agents and flight crew about how many passengers to accept.

A gentleman traveling to Keflavik watched his bags get left behind as we pushed back. The flight attendant pointed the bags out to the ground crew, who just shrugged.

Passengers were then told that not all bags would be joining us. Since pretty much everyone was making an international connection, this wasn’t good. The woman next to me was presenting at a conference at Oxford, others were going to a conference in Berlin. Pretty much everyone started to panic.

The flight and cabin crews were not terribly sympathetic. Although they didn’t escalate the arguments, they weren’t apologetic either.

After a quick flight, we taxied, only to enjoy—surprise!—no gate available. Getting stuck on the ground in a 747 sucks; getting stuck on a Jungle Jet is profoundly claustrophobic.

The guy next to me, perhaps worried about his connection, responded by whistling, then playing “the drums” with his pens. I’m told it’s rude to slap people on airplanes, but I came close.

In any event, we disembarked, all confused by the makeshift boarding apparatus for regional flights. This featured a barking woman, who seemed exasperated that we didn’t all automatically know where to find the unmarked exit.

JFK
Delta has worked hard to clean the place up, but it’s still dark and cramped. The building seems to be crumbling. It sounds, however, that PANYNJ and Delta are working together to build something new.

I went to the former BusinessElite lounge, now a Crown Room. It’s no better or worse than any most other lounges in the US. There were a few crudités, boring cookies, and some freakish “berry mousse,” which looked like a pharmaceutical or hair care product.

7 June 2008
Delta 86
Boeing 767-300ER
Seat 2F
Boarding was delayed by perhaps 15 minutes. The gate staff worked hard to calm a full flight with many families, small children, and otherwise high-maintenance passengers. In fact, they were calm, polite, addressed me by name, wished me a pleasant flight, and so on.

The additional security for the flight was equally professional. The staff were friendly, and the process was quite easy: x-ray and walk-through metal detector. A security staff member helped me put my laptop back in my bag, wishing me a pleasant flight. Why can’t the TSA hire people like this?

A cheerful young flight attendant greeted me in Hebrew, and the purser was at my seat minutes later with a welcome and a menu. Champagne and OJ arrived shortly thereafter.

I don’t think there is an ideal seat on the 767-300, but 2F is pretty good. It’s just far enough from the galley, slightly protected on one side by the crew bunk, and the leg room is more than adequate. You can still get out of your seat even if 1F is completely reclined.

The crew were excellent: a fairly senior group, with Delta’s legendary, almost motherly service. They weren’t doting; sometimes refills were forgotten, but they were generally pleased to have us on board.

One flight attendant said to me, “I keep touching your arm because you’re so cute.” Considering that she’s married, probably 15-20 years older than I am, I took this as a compliment rather than a come-on.

We had a 50 (fifty) minute taxi, only to return to the gate. An engine problem erupted, so back we went. The crew took advantage of the hour-long wait at the gate to pass out drinks and snacks in all cabins.
Misconnected bags were also loaded, making the delay a blessing for some passengers (I may have been one of them!)

Once cleared by maintenance, we had a much shorter taxi and headed off to Israel.

Dinner was served almost immediately: I love the appetizer-intensive dinner. These are not terribly expensive or gourmet foods, but they came well-presented, offered a little bit of something to please everyone, and the service moved a reasonable pace. There were no carts.

Although I think the screen is small, Delta’s AVOD worked perfectly. I watched several sitcoms and a movie, then finished my book.

I slept for a good 6-7 hours and woke up for lunch.

Since this flight arrives at 3 pm, the pre-arrival service is lunch, not breakfast:
The salad was pretty grim, but the pizza was pretty good. It’s substantially better than most airplane pizzas. The cake was powerfully rich, but quite good.

There were many announcements about a “30-minute” rule for Tel Aviv. This was presented as a regulation of the Israeli Government. I haven’t been to Israel in a year, so maybe this is something new. Or perhaps it’s Delta’s idea, and they just like to blame the Israeli Government.

Why I should have flown El Al
There are lots of reasons I love El Al, but this time I really missed the emotional reaction during our descent. Nobody seemed tearful (except me), there was no singing, no applause, nothing. I suppose it would have been a little weird for me to start clapping and singing "Shalom Aleichem," so I did so in my head.

We made a quick taxi, and the purser announced that he was pleased to welcome us “to The Holy Land.” I was sent off with hugs and well wishes from the flight attendants. I’m not entirely sure how I endeared myself to them so easily.

Ben Gurion Airport
I made mad dash to get to immigration quickly. I know how the lines can back up. Sure enough, a family of seven cut in front of me, yelling in broken Hebrew that they HAD to be somewhere right away and HAD to cut in front of me immediately. I shrugged and let them through. Perhaps due to the family drama, I was of little interest to the immigration officer.

Bags arrived within 20 minutes and off to Jerusalem.

The Regency Hotel, Jerusalem
This is my third time at the Regency. It’s not as luxurious as some other places in the city, but it has a fantastic view, an even more fantastic gym, it’s cheap, and they have a fantastic breakfast.

The one problem: it’s impossible to find. I’ve had multiple taxi drivers get lost trying to find it. Today’s featured a driver with a GPS system, and even that didn’t work. It ended up being a rather long trip through some iffier neighborhoods, but I eventually made it.

Once again, I was upgraded to a “Business Class” room. Not really a “club” room by American standards, but certainly well-appointed. The staff were as cheerful and as helpful as always.