Still haven't managed to come up with anything else great about this horrid little airline.

Now, as for 10 things that are vile about Malev, that's the easy bit:

1. You have to go to LGW North, which means a 6 minute wait for a shuttle, which you have to share with hoards of tracksuits, shorts and tattoos.

2. MA is checked in by OW Alliance partner, BA. No, stop, that would be too logical. MA check-in is outsourced, and located in the A-B check-in zones, alongside Thomsoncry and Last Choice.

3. MA don't give Fast Track stickers, so unless you are good at barging by the Fast Track dragons in a DYKWIA sort of way, it's the chavlines only.

4. The BA Lounge Dragons are still struggling to comprehend how such an outfit got into One World too, hence lots of confused looks before you get let into the F Lounge.

5. BA flight displays do not show the BA/MA flight to BUD. The F Lounge Dragon helpfully suggested that if I wanted to know when it was boarding, I would have to go back down, back out to WHSmith, and look at the general display monitors in the main terminal.

6. The MA flight goes from the furthest possible gate (109), which I swear is closer to Brighton.

7. Only 3 in business, so should I expect a relaxed comfy flight? No way, the cabin crew have invited their friends (with kids) up from the back to take any empty seats in J. Not only that, but I am asked to move from 2D to 2A, to let a family sprawl out in the 2DEF seats they have been upgraded to.

8. Not a sign of a SPML (on either of 2 flights last night), despite having it confirmed in the booking and printed on the BP. No apology, just shoulder shrugging, followed by an orange. Yes, I was presented with an orange for my meal. And on the next flight, an apple (with a giant bruise on it).

9. Cabin crew do service not front to back, nor back to front, but Hungarians first. They go around serving the Hungarians first, then get round to the non-Hungarians. How novel.

10. Guess how long it will take the miles/TPs to post.