Your Flight Has Been Retimed

In order to appreciate and understand much of this tale, you must successfully pass this very complicated multiple choice test:

What is the most common phrase enunciated by Air Asia personnel:

A) Please take your assigned seat.
B) Would you like to have some complimentary water?
C) You may carry onboard as much baggage you wish.
D) Your upgrade has cleared.
E) Your flight has been retimed.

If you answered A, B, C or D, then you might as well just stay home – your intra-Asian travels will be fraught with nothing but surprise, despair and disappointment. If you answered "E," then you won’t be surprised, though you might still have your fair share of despair and disappointment.

This was the second time I was flying to Kuching on Air Asia. The first time was in early November and when I showed up at terminal 2 in Kota Kinabalu, I was told, in a very matter of fact tone, that my flight had been "retimed." Whether or not this phraseology is any more polite than the somewhat more familiar terminology, "delayed," is open to debate but the full affects and consequences are all pretty much the same. In the previous instance, the retiming was initially a mere 20 minutes or so but it didn’t take very long for that to morph into a full five hours!

From my long and tiring experience as a UA traveler, I can certainly attest to the fact that Air Asia does not hold a monopoly on flight delays. However, what really sets them apart, in my humble opinion, is their abject unwillingness to provide any flight status updates whatsoever and to act acutely surprised whenever passengers ask gate personnel whether or not they are likely to actually get to their destination that day.

In the case of the Kota Kinabalu trip, the flight had already been "retimed" for a full two hours and none of the staff could agree on from where the plane was actually flying and whether or not it had already departed. Over the next couple of hours, I was told, in turn, that "it was on its way from Kuala Lumpur," followed by "it had not yet left Kuala Lumpur" and finally, "it was flying in from Vietnam." The correct answer turned out to be, "none of the above;" the flight was coming from Shenzhen and it had not yet departed at the time that I framed my original query.

The information gleaned from the flight status monitor proved to be quite interesting as well, especially when I looked up at one point and noticed that it was actually playing a Bollywood movie. I recall thinking to myself at the time that the information provided by the Bollywood movie on the flight status monitor was no less accurate than any of the flight information that I had gleaned from my discussions with the Air Asia personnel. Perhaps it was even a little more accurate.



Other than the flight status monitor, terminal 2 in Kota Kinabalu certainly did not provide much in the way of entertainment or diversions to while away the time. If one was hungry, there was a solitary restaurant in the waiting area, however, their catchy slogan, "Get Filled and Feel It With Us," certainly made me somewhat hesitant about digging in. I don't know about you, but I definitely prefer not to feel my food after eating it.



Now that I was flying to Kuching again, I thought that it would be nice if I could arrive while it was still daylight this time around. I was looking forward to relaxing in the club lounge at the Hilton Kuching and watching the sun set as I enjoyed some munchies and a cocktail or few. I figured that my chances for an on time arrival were fairly decent today because Air Asia has many more flights from Kuala Lumpur to Kuching than they have to Kota Kinabalu plus the former is a much quicker trip as well.

But it was not to be. I arrived in the low cost carrier terminal after a 50 minute ride on the yellow Aerobus from KL Sentral for 8 ringgit, found my flight listed on the arrivals board, cleared baggage prescreening and then dutifully waited in line at the counter for check-in for my flight to commence. And then waited some more. It was less than two hours before scheduled departure and check-in should have long since started but I still saw no sign of life behind the counter. When I sought out some supervisory personnel to find out the score, I was told, "Your flight has been retimed," in a very dispassionate tone.

I knew enough not to waste any more time asking additional questions so I dutifully waited for the counter to open, which it did eventually. Once through security and inside the waiting area, I discovered that my flight had been retimed once again, which I managed to figure out for myself without requiring any additional assistance from Air Asia personnel. I knew when it was time to board, because, suddenly, all of the other passengers arose from their respective seats and formed a long line at the gate, as if they had received a secret signal for which I was completely unaware. The bottom line is that we wound up landing in Kuching at about 5:30 PM, much later than I had hoped to arrive but still allowing a little time in which to enjoy the lounge for a while.

Upon arriving at the Hilton, I was whisked up to the club lounge on the twelfth floor, where I was greeted warmly by Rashid and several of the other club floor concierges, who had remembered me from my brief visit in November. What’s most fascinating is that they remembered me but still permitted me to return.

The Hilton had treated me well during my earlier trip but they treated me exceptionally well this time around. On each of my four one-night stays, I was provided with a full suite on one of the upper floors and on my last night I was assigned a large suite with expansive views in both directions. The club lounge was available in the evening for snacks and cocktails and in the morning for a very nice and expansive breakfast. Two computers were provided from which I could check email and catch up on Flyertalk.



During my earlier stay at the Hilton, I often found the lounge in the evening to be very smoky and frequently inhabited by loud and boisterous guests, some acting as if it was their own private club. This was not the case this time around and I was, in fact, advised by Rashid that smoking in the lounge is no longer permitted in the morning at all. As a matter of fact, I was not disturbed by smoking at any time of day so I am not sure whether smoking has been banned entirely or whether everyone had just decided to kick the habit.

Rashid was very friendly and personable and I spoke with him quite a bit during my stay. I showed him the map of Sarawak that I had picked up in Kuala Lumpur and he said that it was much nicer than anything they currently had on the club floor. I told him that I planned to walk around town for a while in the morning and promised that I would try to obtain another copy of the map for him. I then mentioned that I had just purchased a new quad band cell phone and asked him where would be the best place for me to obtain a Malaysian SIM. It turned out that he was able to loan me a spare SIM so all I would need to do is get it topped off with some additional ringgits and I would be all set.

Kuching is the Cat’s Meow

The word Kuching literally translates into "Cat City" in Malay but there is significant debate about how it earned its moniker. Some people believe that when the Rajah James Brooke first sailed into the settlement on the Sungai Sarawak, he asked about the name of the town but a local guide thought he was pointing towards a nearby cat. Other people have suggested that the area was first settled by Indian traders and believe that Kuching is named after the southern Indian city of Chochin. Still others have hypothesized that it was named after the cat’s eye fruit, known as "mata kucing" in the local lingo, that once grew abundantly along the river banks.

No matter what the origins of the name, it is quite clear that the "Cat City" has been around for a very long time, as can be easily seen in this recently unearthed ancient photograph.



Today, the profound obsession of the city’s denizens with the domestic cat is abundantly clear everywhere one walks.



To me, the most interesting question is where did all those furry felines come from in the first place? I could not help but notice that there were very few monkeys to be seen wandering around the streets of Kuching, in contrast with some of my earlier forays in Kuala Lumpur and Bali. At first, I thought that the paucity of monkeys might be due to my recent deployment of this amazing new product:



But upon further scrutiny, the real story turned out to be much more complicated than that. From very painstaking and exhaustive scientific research that spanned a lengthy period well in excess of five minutes, I came to conclude that the absence of monkeys in Kuching must be due to the devout worship of cats by its citizenry. I would hypothesize that once upon a time, the city of Kuching was crawling with evil monkeys but had no cats whatsoever. One day, Eleanor Abernathy flew in from Springfield in order to celebrate her graduation from Harvard Medical School and Yale Law school at the ripe old age of 24. She brought along with her a couple of her feline friends and, somehow, a few of them got loose:



At first the monkeys and the cats seemed to get along with one another reasonably well.


But soon enough, the monkeys turned on the cats. Why? Because that’s what monkeys do.



It was quite a catastrophe but soon enough the cats began to fight back, raising a huge cat army to battle the evil monkeys.



If for no other reason, the cats ultimately conquered the monkeys by virtue of sheer numbers given that its common knowledge that, just like tribbles, many cats appear to be born pregnant.



And that’s the categorically true story of why the city of Kuching has very few monkeys and now worships the domestic cat. Once they took over, the cats at first proved to be quite courteous, refined and well mannered.



But all is not catnip and kitty litter in the cat city.



Some people believe that the cats are getting a little out of hand and are beginning to cause a significant problem of their own. But that’s a "tail" for another time.



Personally, I cannot help but wonder how things would have turned out had a Crazy Dog Lady visited Kuching instead of Eleanor Abernathy so many years ago. Perhaps the city would have been named anjing and giant dog icons would now be guarding its buildings, streets and alleyways. One thing is for sure -- there is certainly no doubt that the majority of dogs would have proved to be significantly more genteel than most cats:



The Kuching Cat Walk

I had dined in the club lounge for breakfast during my previous visit and found the food to be excellent, providing an abundant and diverse buffet of good quality fare.



However, this time around, I opted for breakfast in the restaurant instead because it opened much earlier than the lounge and I had already been awake for quite a while, courtesy of the 16 hour time difference. The choices available in the restaurant were very extensive and included Malaysian, Indian, Chinese, Japanese and western cuisines. In addition to the obligatory chefs cooking a wide variety of omelettes and other egg dishes, there was even a station brewing up fresh Sarawak Laksa, accompanied by its usual cast of condiments.

There was an assortment of fresh juices that could be squeezed to order but I was especially intrigued by the sugar "can" juice, figuring that a beverage such as this must be packed with a huge amount of minerals. I admit that I didn’t actually see them squeeze the juice but I would imagine that the freshly harvested cans must be especially difficult to blend. Under the circumstances, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they had to avail themselves of the services of Blendtec in order to accomplish the task.



After breakfast, I set about on my walk through Kuching, already quite warm and steamy by 8:30 in the morning. I walked along the waterfront for a while, observing sampans as they ferried passengers across the Sungai Sarawak for 30 sen each. I spent a few minutes viewing Fort Margherita, built by the White Rajah, Charles Brooke in 1879 and named after his wife, Margaret. As I studied the White Castle-like edifice, I could not help but wonder whether they served hamburgers inside. Perhaps accompanied by an ice cold margarita?



Dominating the vista on the opposing river bank, there was no way to miss the massive futuristic megastructure that will be home to the new Sarawak State Legislative Assembly (Dewan Undangan Negeri) once its completed sometime later this year.



At the far reaches of my stroll along the Kuching riverside promenade, I soon found myself on Jalan Gambier, a street comprised of a dense concentration of colorful and fragrant spice shops and an even more profoundly odiferous wet market. The complex scents wafting from the wet market constituted a very unique bouquet, composed of equal mixtures of aging fresh fish, pungent sun dried fish and the ubiquitous belacan, the fermented shrimp paste that provides such an important foundation to much Malaysian cuisine.



One block inland is Jalan India, the heart of "Little India," a pedestrian mall that turned out to be much more Chinese than it was Indian. My wanderings then took me near the Kuchinq Mosque and Chinatown.



I then continued my journey away from the waterfront and wandered amongst the busy streets and alleyways for another hour or so. By then I was feeling quite ready for a break from the heat.



I had spent all morning prowling around the cat city and figured it was time to start heading back and cool off at the Hilton for a bit. On my return journey to the hotel, my wanderings brought me within the vicinity of the old courthouse, a white colonial style building nestled in a courtyard adjacent to the Little Lebanon restaurant. The sign in front of the building indicated that it was the Sarawak Visitors Information Centre so, given that I was indeed a visitor seeking information about Sarawak, I figured this was the place for me.

As soon as I walked in the door, I was greeted by Angela. I told her that I had been to Kuching for a couple of days last fall and explained that my main interests during this visit were mostly wildlife and scenery. We reviewed some of the national parks in the area and she provided me with a comprehensive bus and transportation schedule so that I would be able to get to the parks on my own in case I could not arrange a tour and guide.

Just as I was about to leave the visitors centre, I remembered that I had promised to pick up a copy of the Sarawak map for Rashid at the Hilton. I showed Angela the map, explaining that I had picked it up in late February when I was visiting Kuala Lumpur. As we talked about the Malaysia Airlines Travel Fair, it turned out that Angela was the very same person who had given me the map in the first place! She showed me a detailed travel schedule that indicated that she had indeed been assigned to staff the travel fair on those dates.

Angela went on to explain that her husband is also in the tourism business and was, in fact, manning the fort in Kuala Lumpur right now. She mentioned that a few years ago, he was actually assigned to Los Angeles but was forced to leave the United States when our government decided that everyone living in a whole host of countries, including Malaysia, were terrorists!

I spoke with Angela for a bit longer but I noticed that other visitors were beginning to amass in the waiting area. So we decided that we would hook up later that afternoon for some additional conversation and a brief ride around Kuching. I thanked her for her help and returned, somewhat reluctantly, to the hot and steamy street and began my long torrid walk back to the Hilton. Once in the vicinity of the hotel, I dashed into a mall across the street, where I purchased 20 ringgits worth of time for my cell phone. I then scurried back to the Hilton club lounge to give Rashid his map and to cool off for a bit before checking out. I was planning to spend that night at the Crowne Plaza, part of a mattress run crafted to maximize my Hilton stays while in Kuching.



After Angela met me at the Crowne Plaza later that afternoon, we picked up two visitors from Ireland, who had just arrived in Kuching and were also the beneficiaries of her hospitality. After driving around for a while, all four of us meandered over to a guest house operated by Angela’s aunty. We were soon joined by some other visitors and all of us talked for a while, our dialog suitably lubricated by generous supplies of tuak. As it grew dark, Angela and I drove into Chinatown, where I enjoyed a cup of coffee and Angela sipped on an unusual wheat based beverage. Nearby, in an adjacent alleyway, I noticed that some tables and chairs had been gathered together and I watched as a Kung Fu was projected on the side of a building.

As we were wrapping up, I asked Angela if she wanted to get a bite to eat. She replied that she was heading to the airport that evening in order to meet a couple of dozen VIPs that were flying in from Indonesia. She added that If I wanted to hook up later, the whole gang would be assembled at Top Spot Seafood Court, perhaps by 9:30 PM, where a set meal had already been ordered for everybody. Angela said that the entire entourage would be flying in on Air Asia, which had just established a new route from Kuching to Jakarta.

According to the official press release, Tony Fernandes, the CEO of Air Asia would be flying in the next day. Given my own recent experiences with the timing and timeliness of Air Asia flights, I asked Angela how she could be so sure that they wouldn’t be late. "They won’t be late," she replied with an air of great confidence. She said that the regional head of Air Asia’s Kuching office will be there and this event is just too important for them to allow that to happen.

I had visited Top Spot Seafood Court previously and found it to be a great place to obtain fresh seafood at fairly reasonable prices. Located on the roof of a six story parking garage, the open air seafood court is comprised of an assemblage of individual hawkers who aggressively compete for the attention of anyone walking within their vicinity. I had always lamented the fact that, as a visitor dining alone, I was unable to sample the myriad varieties of delicious looking offerings that danced around my table on the way to the gaping mouths of other hungry diners. Angela’s offer was just too tasty to refuse so I said I would be there.

Top Cat at the Top Spot

When I emerged onto the roof of the Pelita Car Park a little before 9:30 PM, I was immediately surrounded by hordes of seafood purveyors, all tenaciously hawking their respective establishments that lined the perimeter of the food court. I fled to a table well away from the fray and gave Angela a quick call to find out her ETA. As she had emphatically predicted, the Air Asia flight from Jakarta had landed on time, and they were currently finalizing arrangements at the Hilton before heading over for dinner. About 20 minutes later, the Indonesian entourage marched into the seafood court and were escorted to two large tables managed by stall # 25, the very popular Bukit Mata Seafood Centre.



I settled into a smaller table nearby, where I was soon joined by Angela, the driver of the Indonesian VIPs plus a couple of other staff members. Their meal had already been preordered but Angela accompanied me to the front counter, where she helped me decide between a bewildering away of fish from which to choose my dinner.



Once settled back at my table, I was able to share some of the other goodies, including tom yum soup, jungle ferns prepared two different ways plus a couple of other dishes.



Towards the end of the meal, another fellow sat down by my table and was introduced to me by Angela as Shanmuganathan, the station manager of Air Asia’s office in Kuching. Shan told me that the official inauguration of the new Jakarta route was planned for the following day. As part of the celebration, Air Asia was looking for "a foreigner" to whom they could present an award at an important lunchtime ceremony and he invited me to receive the award. As an officially certified foreigner, I suppose I was fully qualified for the tribute. Not only that, I had actually flown Air Asia and had done so more than once. And lived.

This was certainly an exceptionally tempting honor and, just to add more of an incentive, Angela said they would also give me a free hat! ^ Given that monkeys seem to keep eating my hats, how could I refuse? The problem was that I had already booked and paid for a trip to Bako National Park that was scheduled to leave early the next morning and I would be gone for the entire day. So, I sadly had to turn down the prestigious award, and most important of all, the free hat. Shan was very understanding and gracious and told me that I should let him know if I ever needed anything.

Shortly thereafter, the Indonesian entourage arose from their tables and gathered together for the return drive back to the Hilton. I stayed behind a while longer picking at the contents of an enormous fruit platter, contemplating honors, awards and hats that were not to be.

Next Chapter: Baked Bako with Belacan …