Mapping My Way to Borneo

This is the story of how a map of the Malaysian state of Sarawak helped me to find my way home to Portland, OR. On one side of the map is an overview of all of the major highways, parks, lakes and towns that comprise the state in the northwestern corner of the island of Borneo. The Malaysian state of Sabah borders Sarawak to the east, the Indonesian states of East and West Kalimantan border it to the south and the South China Sea frames its coast to the north. Sarawak entirely engulfs the tiny country of Brunei, which resides in its northeast corner.

The other side of the map contains a detailed view of Kuching, its largest city. The map shows all of Kuching’s major roadways and includes a number of important tourist landmarks, including parks, museums, hotels and restaurants.

As would be expected, there is nothing at all on the map that mentions Portland, OR. In fact, it should come as no surprise that it doesn’t show anything at all about Oregon, the United States, North America or even the western hemisphere. The map doesn’t show any other location in Asia nor even Peninsular Malaysia. Yet, if it was not for this map of Sarawak, I might have been stranded there.

I had never visited Malaysia prior to October of 2007 but I have been there four times in the ensuing six months. Kuala Lumpur has proven to be an excellent city in which to undertake mattress runs because hotel rates are not as expensive as they are in other major Asian cities and, as a participant in both the SPG and Hilton HHonors hotel loyalty programs, the city presented me with four different properties from which to choose.

The Hilton Kuala Lumpur Hotel and the Le Méridien Kuala Lumpur are very conveniently located next to KL Sentral, thereby affording inexpensive and frequent access to both the Low Cost Carrier Terminal and main terminal of Kuala Lumpur International Airport. Even better, these two properties share the same entrance, thus facilitating easy transfers between the two hotels.

The Hotel Imperial is part of the SPG Luxury Collection and can be accessed from KL Sentral either by KL Monorail by taking the LRT three stops to the Dang Wangi station, followed by a short walk. The Westin Kuala Lumpur is somewhat less conveniently located but is about a 10 minute walk from nearest monorail station at Bukit Bintang.

During my first visit to Malaysia, I wandered around Kuala Lumpur and then journeyed to Borneo, spending a few days each in Sabah and Sarawak. On my second visit, I spent a couple of more days in Kuala Lumpur and then spent a full week in Kota Kinabalu in Sabah, from which I engaged in day trips to various parts of the Malaysian state. I arrived in Kuala Lumpur for my third visit in late February of 2008. My final destination for that trip was actually Bali, where I spent a week sightseeing and monkeying around. During that trip, I was walking past the Convention Centre one hot and steamy morning and noticed a large sign outside advertising the Malaysia Airlines Travel Fair. From the looks of a nearby street sign, at first I thought the whole thing was some kind of trick.



Furthermore, given that Malaysia Airlines is not a Star Alliance partner and I had no plans to fly them anytime soon, at first I hesitated to enter the facility but I eventually coughed up the hefty two ringgit entry fee and wandered on in anyway.

What I found inside the cavernous convention hall was not entirely unexpected. There were hundreds of independent travel agencies, all hawking flights on Malaysia Airlines to various areas of the planet. Just for variety, some of the vendors were also promoting timeshares to various Malaysian resort properties. For the most part, all of the vendors were very friendly and I stopped to chat with a few of them from time to time, asking them whether they had any good fares on airlines other than MAS.



A full hour had elapsed by the time I reached the far corner of the convention centre and just as I was about to turn back, I spotted a booth sponsored by the Sarawak Tourism Board. I had already been planning a visit to Sarawak in early April, so I stopped for a while to chat with the friendly representative. In the course of our conversation she gave me a great map of Sarawak and I then continued on my way. It was this map that turned out to be so very important to me once I had arrived in Sarawak in April. In fact, it actually proved to be much more important than I could have imagined at the time.

Third Time’s a Charm

I have previously documented all of the many difficulties I have encountered in my efforts to fly to Singapore on United Airlines this year. In my two prior attempts thus far, UA cancelled my flight from SFO to NRT, forcing me to undertake some very fast running and quick thinking in order to salvage the outbound component of my trip.

When I entered the PDX Red Carpet Club early in the morning of April 2, the concierge asked me where I was heading today and her amiable expression changed noticeably when I told her, "Singapore." After pausing for a few seconds, she told me that there might be a problem with my flight and asked me to take a seat, adding that she would get back to me shortly.

This would make three cancellations in a row, I thought to myself, as I shuffled nervously towards the back of club and began to contemplate alternative ways to reach Singapore. About 10 minutes later, the concierge came to my seat and informed me that everything appeared to be just fine with my flight. ^ She explained that she had just learned that there was a system wide inspection issue affecting all 777s in UA's fleet, causing all such planes to be grounded! In my case, I was saved by the fact that my flight from SFO to HKG was on a 747 today, a somewhat ironic fact considering that the myriad mechanical issues I have endured thus far had all been confined to 747 metal. She further explained that UA only possessed a total of six specialized tool kits required to undertake the inspections, which implied that there most likely would be numerous 777 cancellations or delays that day.

I boarded my 757 flight to SFO on time and soon settled into seat 2D. Unlike my last such flight, I could see no evidence of crossword puzzles or sudukos deployed on the jumpseat so I figured that perhaps in flight service would not be as bad as it was last time. The sky was very clear during liftoff and we were treated to a very nice view of the Portland metropolitan area as we circled around and headed south at 7:45 AM.



Despite very smooth skies, the initial and only beverage service did not begin until 45 minutes later. Given that two flight attendants were working the F cabin that morning, they soon settled down to chat amongst themselves for the remainder of the flight.

I wanted another beverage and, though this is something I rarely ever do, I felt compelled to ring the call button. A male flight attendant came over to my seat within a few seconds and asked me, in a pleasant tone, "Are you feeling unloved?" Indeed I was but I felt ever so slightly loved again when he brought me another beverage.

My seat opponent turned out to be a very interesting fellow. He lived in Vancouver, WA and was flying to Asia where he was working on a gig as a professional underwater photographer, a skill he first acquired at age 60! I learned that he was also flying to Singapore and then continuing on to Manado so I asked him when his flight was scheduled to depart from SFO. He answered that he thought it departed at about 1:40 PM and then dug out his itinerary to confirm it. His response initially surprised me because UA does not have any flights that depart to either NRT or HKG at that time of day. He responded that he was flying Singapore Airlines in first class! I told him that I was very jealous because I was merely flying in UA business class. We exchanged our names and other pleasantries and soon went on our respective ways upon landing at the domestic terminal of SFO.

The shuttle to the international terminal had already started its morning service by the time I got there so there was no need for me to re-clear security as I had to do for my international trips earlier this year. Given that the Silver Kris Lounge was already operating under summer hours, I hung around the international Red Carpet Club for over an hour until the Singapore lounge opened, at around at 10:50 AM. Upon entering the Silver Kris Lounge, I dutifully presented my UA boarding pass to the concierge and just as I was about to turn right into the lounge, I had a brilliant idea. @:-) I mentioned to the concierge that I planned to visit a friend of mine, properly remembering the name of my seat opponent from the PDX flight. And that’s how I found myself directed towards the left and into the first class section of the Silver Kris Lounge.

We chatted pleasantly for a while and I enjoyed a nice assortment of adult beverages and very tasty munchies over the next hour and a half.



During that time, not a single other passenger entered the lounge. By 12:10 PM, I figured that it was time for me to board my 12:40 PM flight to HKG so I bid my lounge mate goodbye and began walking towards the exit. Just as I reached the threshold, he had a sudden flash of cognizance and asked me, "By the way, how did you get into the first class lounge?" I replied, honestly, that I had told the concierge I was here see to him. I then left the club and ambled over towards my flight, which had already finished boarding by the time I got there.

The 14 hour flight from SFO to HKG arrived nearly on time and was served by some very nice and friendly Hong Kong based flight attendants. I found one FA in particular to be especially interesting. She grew up in Paris, is based in HKG but has lived in Bangkok for the past 10 years, which makes for a fairly lengthy commute to her job in HKG. The only downside of this flight was that the entertainment system was inoperative, a very long time to be without audio. Nevertheless, I was quite happy that the flight wasn’t canceled, which is more than many other UA travelers could say that day.

Once successfully past HKG security, I had enough time to take a shower in the RCC and relax a little bit before boarding my flight to SIN. Actually, it turned out that I had to relax somewhat more than a little bit because the flight to SIN was delayed. Given that my objective was to board this flight as late as possible, I was struck by the shear inability of the RCC concierges to offer any useful information at all regarding expected boarding and departure times. I tried and failed several times to determine exactly when boarding would begin for my flight, which was originally slated to depart at 8:00 PM. Some of the responses were humorously ludicrous. When I approached the desk at 7:55 PM, the concierge studied her monitor and told me that boarding had not begun yet but the system was still showing an on time departure of 8:00 PM!

I wound up making my best guestimate about boarding and left the club at 8:40 PM. By the time I arrived at the gate, it was clear that boarding had just commenced and the line to enter the jetway could have easily exceeded 200 passengers. Then I remembered that I could avail myself of the special red carpet boarding that UA had implemented last year for 1K, GS, C and F passengers and was able to amble onto the jetway unimpeded with no wait whatsoever. ^

Kuala Lumpur Revisited

After a bit of rest in the Terminal 3 transit hotel at Changi, I caught up with email for a while before attempting to secure a boarding pass for my Air Asia flight to Kuala Lumpur. At the time that I purchased this ticket, Air Asia was in the midst of a zero ringgit fare sale so I was able to pick up this ticket for $61 SGD, a fare comprised only of taxes and fees. Air Asia does not maintain an airside transfer desk so obtaining a boarding pass necessitated exiting through customs and immigration, wading through the scrum amassed at the check-in counter in terminal 1 and then re-entering the airport 15 minutes later.



Once back inside the civilized space of Changi, I figured that it might be fun to look for my "friend" who had unwittingly hosted me into the first class SKL lounge at SFO, since I knew he had another flight scheduled for this morning. However, the staff manning the SKL lounge explained that he was flying to Manado on Silk Air and that lounge did not permit guests because they are not part of the Star Alliance. Oh well, I guess I would have to slum it using one of the hundreds of free computers that populate terminal 1 at Changi.

Air Asia traditionally never uses jetways in order to process their "self loading cargo." Instead, after a plane lands, portable stairs are towed to both the front and rear exits and passengers quickly and efficiently deboard. Just as soon as the last passenger trundles off the plane, it is immediately ready for boarding by outbound passengers. It is actually a relatively orderly process and is surprisingly fast and efficient. As a "low cost" carrier, there are no assigned seats in the single class cabin so its first come, first served.

However, you can get an early crack at specific seats, either if you are over 65 or if you purchase Xpress Boarding at the time you book your flight. Passengers over 55 years old can purchase Xpress Boarding at a substantial discount. Quite frankly, Xpress Boarding without the discount is not terribly expensive but it turned out to be quite a bit cheaper when Air Asia’s web site simply forgot to charge the fee for my flight from SIN to KUL. Coupled with the zero dollar fare sale that was in affect at the time, my SGD 61 total fare was quite a bargain.

At most other airports, Air Asia has managed to coerce the local authorities to build a special low cost terminal just for them or at the very least to carve out a section all to themselves. However, one unique aspect of SIN is that the airline shares the very same terminal (T1) as all of the other "high cost" carriers and were thus obliged to use an actual jetway.

I have carefully studied the Xpress Boarding process many times and I have never seen the Air Asia staff manage the queue the same way twice in a row. Sometimes two lines form in front of the exit door but at other times, two separate gates are used but which one will be assigned to Xpress Boarding seems to remain a closely guarded state secret up until the last minute. At SIN, Air Asia is only assigned a single gate so they separate the Xpress Boarding wheat from the non-express boarding chaff, by handing out little red and white stickers bearing the words, "Xpress Boarding." All passengers proudly wearing this sticker are then invited to board as soon as the doors to the jetway are opened.

The problem is that when a lane has not been explicitly assigned to Xpress Boarding, a long queue may have already formed, comprised of a mixture of passengers, both Xpress and local. My solution today was to stand right next to the lengthy queue, proudly displaying my Xpress Boarding sticker and as soon as the doors to the jetway opened, I was invited to board first. Incidentally, I still have the Air Asia Xpress Boarding sticker, should anyone need it.



Today, my Air Asia flight actually boarded on time and I was able to snag an aisle seat in the bulkhead row, which, I am certain has considerably more legroom that most other rows on the plane. Just before the doors were about to close, three passengers suddenly walked on board, escorted by a fellow in uniform. He was clutching some forms in his hand and as he walked by, I could easily see the words, "deported" in bold letters at the top of the paperwork.

Twenty minutes after boarding had commenced, we were already pulling away from the gate and five minutes after that we were airborne. I am always amazed that Air Asia manages to serve (i.e. sell) meals on all flights regardless of duration, in the case of the KUL flight, barely a half hour of actual flight time. American carriers often whinge about serving food on flights spanning many hours, even in first class. On the other hand, Air Asia charges for water and forbids passengers from consuming their own food or beverages on board.

Soon enough, we had landed at the Low Cost Carrier Terminal of KUL. The moment we touched down, the three deportees and their custodian materialized at the front of the plane, even though it was still meandering around the tarmac at considerable speed.

I transited through immigration very quickly, the process facilitated by the fact that Malaysia no longer requires passengers to fill out immigration forms. A short while later, I boarded the yellow 8 ringgit bus that leaves very frequently from the low cost carrier terminal on its way to KL Sentral. From the train station, I walked across the street to the Brickfields terminus of the KL Monorail and took the cramped conveyance five stops to the Bukit Bintang station. From there, I walked about 10 minutes into the cool embraces of the Westin, where I planned to spend the next three nights using a 50% off platinum award. This is the fourth Starwood/Hilton hotel I have enjoyed in Kuala Lumpur and they treated me quite well, providing me a beautiful suite and a very pleasant lounge that provided munchies and beverages in the evening.


In the morning, I was offered a choice of breakfast either in the lounge or in the restaurant. I opted for the restaurant, which was absolutely amazing, comprised of room after room offering a huge array of foods, including Malaysian, Chinese, Indian, Western and a separate bakery room offering hundreds of choices.



I had been in Kuala Lumpur several times before so I spent my days just wandering around, visiting every corner of the city that had thus far eluded me, including Pudu Prison and the Sze Ya temple.


Into the Mines

I had run out of new sites to see in Kuala Lumpur and still had one more day to kill so I figured I would spend a few hours journeying to a nearby shopping center called The Mines. To get there required taking the KL Monorail to the KL Sentral train station and then hopping aboard one of the crowded and chronically delayed commuter railroads for the short ride to Serdang, about 20 minutes south of Kuala Lumpur. From there, I would need to take a water taxi to get to the mall!




The reason is that The Mines was actually built on the former site of the Hong Fatt Tin Mine, the largest open cast tin mine in the world. When the mine shut down, a 150-acre man-made lake was left behind and around this lake was built two hotels, a shopping center, an ice-skating rink, a cinema, a golf course and a "Wonderland" theme park. The theme park contains a "snow house" that maintains a temperature of between -10°C to -15°C and houses ice carvings such as the Petronas Twin Towers, KL Tower and KLIA. The four storey mall encloses 250 shops surrounding a canal that can be accessed via water taxi, a short walk from the Serdang train station. So, I guess in some cosmic sense, the site still functions metaphorically as mine, but this time harvesting the gold in the pocket rather than the ore in the earth.



The mall itself is so large that the kiddies can even take light rail to get around:



It boasts every conceivable store, where one can purchase 15 ringgit haircuts:



An electronics and appliance store where it looks like one can ride on the most modern of toilets:



and a store where one can purchase the best rejects available this side of the Klang River:



As would be expected of any mall on a busy Sunday, The Mines was teaming with hordes of families and free range children. However, I noticed that many of them were fairly well-behaved, no doubt due to the fact that the proprietors clearly took discipline very seriously here. It appeared that any children caught misbehaving were condemned to a small island in the middle of the canal and were then unceremoniously turned to stone, appropriately symbolic of the mall’s former venue as a tin mine.

And should any of these stoned children attempt to escape, the water was teaming with a vicious mass of voracious catfish, eagerly waiting to consume anything and everything that should enter into the water’s dark and turbid depths. The hapless children would certainly be easy pickings by the catfish, who could easily crawl up on land at night and simply walk over to the immobilized children and devour them!



On the video, you can watch as parents point towards the island of stoned children and warn their brood that they too will end of up there if they don’t toe the line. If you listen carefully, you can actually hear the children screaming in terror as the parents warn them about the horrors that await them in the murky depths:



Once back inside the cooler confines of the mall, I discovered that the food court was populated by more than a few fish head curry establishments. I watched as plate after plate of fish were greedily consumed by numerous young and hungry mouths, all of which knew that they had better watch their step lest they get turned to stone and sentenced to the rocky isle in the middle of the canal, guarded by the hungry and vicious catfish, source of the very same fish heads upon which they were eagerly feeding. Circle of life and all that.

The fish actually looked rather tasty and I thought briefly about ordering some and then complaining to the wait staff that I had found a fish head in my food. However, I was still quite full from my amazing Westin breakfast and decided to meander off and annoy these people some other day.

Next Chapter: From Catfish to Cat City …