Just finished a trip to the USA (now in the lounge at Heathrow waiting for my connection). What a disappointment this trip has been -- I haven't had a single excuse to whinge about security the whole trip.

Firstly, for the first time ever, I didn't get SSSSed. Secondly, although DHS has now implemented the the new "APIS" (Advanced Passenger Information System") since February, which required me to provide info in advance including passport number, date of birth and address in the USA, my efforts get their knickers in a twist over it failed. In the address fields I entered:
Address: Chertoff can shove APIS up
Address 2: his privacy-invading a**
City: where it belongs

I assumed this would stimulate some sort of response by DHS but no luck. Arriving in Heathrow, I took a hard right when approaching the shoe checking station and walked right by it without even slowing down -- nobody seemed to notice or care. Arriving in the USA, CBP didn't ask any of their asinine questions and I breezed right through.

I was determined to jangle somebody's chain on departure. I didn't take my laptop out of my bag. I didn't take off my shoes. On emptying my pockets at the WTMD, I dumped two tubes of products in the bin, without putting them in a terrorism-preventing plastic bag. Nobody said anything. Getting desperate, I decided to refuse to show ID. Nobody asked for it, just word-lessly glanced at my BP. The agent confiscated a can of shave gel from the elderly Indian gentleman in line in front of me. He asked why and I volunteered that it was to prevent hijacking by terrorists who threaten passengers with shaving. The TSO actually found my comment amusing.

Finally, back at Heathrow again, I once again went through security without my toiletries in a bag, and just walked around the shoe inspection station again without anyone objecting or even noticing.

Just what does one have to do these days in order to get a retaliatory secondary, or at least get an agent irritated? This trip really was no fun at all. And what is with them take me off the SSSS list? Are they suggesting I am harmless? Next time I will have to bring a liter of water and remind them that I am not afraid to use it.