Sunkiss Darling - go there. The beaches are to die for and it is simply delightful. This is not fish-and-chips-HIDDY-in-a-thong type coarse and vulgar. This is delightful. THe timimgs are something of a challenge but not to have to drive from vile Larnaca. Dearest there - do not go.

Think Crawley on sea. OK? Does Auntie Pucci make herself quite clear?

Now - Smirnoff. Stand up. Stand over there. Thank you Dear. I want to smother you with kisses and upgrade your Muccihood. You have saved me. I did not know about PFO - I thought that it had gone to Sleasyjet and no way do I do Orange. It is not my colour.

Thank you Darling. You may be quite infuriating but you do have your uses.

Now, My Him Indoors has gone to Amsterdam with some men. It is meant to be a security conference. Should I be getting worried about all this seediness. If only Darling HIDS was here - he knows all about such matters.