A while back, I had my wallet searched once. This was in DEN and was retaliatory because I made a screener change his gloves before he pawed through my briefcase looking for the offending item that triggered the briefcase search. The lead came over and was trying to be the Alpha Male with me. Read on. He lost.

The aggressive one (Lead) took my wallet out of my briefcase and started to carry it away to run through the x-ray. I said, "Wait a minute! There is no way on this green earth that my wallet is leaving my sight." So, said screener proceeds to paw through my wallet contents after he declares he will have to do a hand search. (FYI, I made HIM change his gloves before he handled my wallet, and I know that this annoyed the daylights out of him.)

He "clears" my wallet and hands it back to me. I said, "Not so fast! Wait here while I count my money." He stops in his tracks. I guess he had never had a passenger be so aggressive towards him. I won an Academy Award going through the motions of counting my bills slowly and deliberately. (FYI, I had no idea how much money I was carrying -- certainly less than about $50.00). I said, "You're lucky, pal. It's all here. You're free to go." I honestly have no idea why I added the "You're free to go" comment. The screener (He was a Lead Screener.) didn't look me in the eye from then on.

Heaven as my witness: I wish I was making this up.