I will spare everyone by only posting the final verse:

On the twelfth day of Christmas my airline gave to me...
Twelve bags of peanuts,
Eleven screeners wanding,
Ten pilots striking,
Nine gates a-changing,
Eight bags a-missing,
Seven hours waiting,
Six random searches,
Five screaming kids...
Four middle seats,
Three red-eyes,
Two cancelled flights,
And a $100 standby fee!